Attire for FH's Parents

[f77g4]

Ok so here's the thing....FH's parents do not tend to dress up for anything at all. I'm especially concerned about his father as he didn't even dress up for his mother's funeral...I had mentioned to FH the other night about his father wearing a suit or tux and he's like what why he's only sitting in the front row and I was like yeah but he'll be in pictures & this is your wedding and a one time thing...then he said well I can't see them dressing up for this.

I know I can't really say what either of his parents will wear but is it so much to ask that they dress appropriately for this special day. We have been together for 7.5 years and I have been waiting for this for a long time and I only plan on getting married once. I know my parents will be dressed very nicely and I just want it all to come together nicely.

Any thoughts or others going through this/been through it???

[snowflakebride]

The thing is, if your FFIL is uncomfortable in his suit/tux, he may end up looking miserable in the pictures. How bad would he dress down? Would he at least wear nice slacks and a nice shirt?

[mitch]

The thing is, if your FFIL is uncomfortable in his suit/tux, he may end up looking miserable in the pictures. How bad would he dress down? Would he at least wear nice slacks and a nice shirt?

That's a good point about looking miserable if uncomfy. I know full well that as soon as the photos are over, FH is taking off his tie and chilling out. :bbeek:

Maybe you can get FFIL to take a comfy outfit with him. Then he can get changed when the photos are done and chill out.

You get smart photos, he gets to relax without the contraint of a suit and tie.

Best of both worlds.

[f77g4]

See I don't know if he'd even wear slacks - in 7.5 years I've hardly even seen him in jeans as most of the time I am at FH's parent's house, he's usually in sweats.....I mean I want them to feel comfortable and whatnot but I so don't want him wearing jeans or worse sweats to our wedding and I'm just scared he's going to look sloppy....I get it that guys aren't comfortable in suits, etc. but I have no issue once pictures are over with that jackets, ties, etc come off.

[mitch]

I get it that guys aren't comfortable in suits, etc. but I have no issue once pictures are over with that jackets, ties, etc come off.

Then tell you FFIL that. Explain it's only for a couple of hours for the Formal stuff. I bet you he'll be cool about it. Get your FH to back you up on this then it's not seen as bully tactics.

My FH hates wearing suits and ties. He always feels as if he's off to see his lawyer or bank manager LOL. But last night we actualy found a tie he liked. So there's a positive. :D

Good Luck.

[f77g4]

Well thats good at least he found one he liked....I guess I hadn't even thought of this being an issue until the conversation the other night with FH....hopefully it will all work out.

[KMS]

Both my father and FIL rented the same tuxes as the best man and groomsmen. No questions asked. That's what everybody does around here so there really wasn't any conversation about it.

[f77g4]

Well that was kind of my thinking - normally at weddings the parents are dressed up rather nicely....I guess I know how my father will dress without me even requesting it so I just assumed FFIL would do the same....probably too early to be really stressing about it since I haven't even talked to him just going on what FH has said and what I know about their dressing situation over the last 7.5 years.

[ElizaE]

First of all, I would not be doing any of the talking about attire. These are your FH parents and he should be the one talking about it. I wouldn't be anywhere near this conversation. Your FH should talk to his father by himself. Say that he picked out a tux/suit (surest way to make sure he looks nice) and take him personally to get him measured. If he balks, your FH should never say that you are the one who wants him to wear a suit. Instead he should take on the "blame". "Dad, I know you like to be comfortable, but all the men are dressing up and I do not want my kids to say who is that fuddy daddy that didn't know how to dress at your wedding." (Well don't quote me, but he should state firmly that he would like him to dress up) He may be offended but if he hasn't even dressed up at his mother's funeral then I think you have cause to worry.

It is one night. He can take the tie and jacket off at the reception. I would not suggest that he can bring his sweats. I am sick of the argument that people have to be comfortable all the time. Dressing up for someone's special event denotes that you think they are important enough to take the trouble for proper grooming and risking that "goodness forbid" you are uncomfortable for a couple of hours.

[f77g4]

Thanks ElizaE

I had no intentions of getting into that conversation with him - I guess I was more a long the lines of kinda just saying that the only discussion around outfits at all has been like a 5 minute conversation between me and FH the other night at the mall...we've only been engaged a few weeks now and the wedding is still like 14 months away so it's not like it's a pressing matter or anything but I tend to obsess on things when they come to my attention until they are resolved.

It's not that he dressed like a total slop at his mothers funeral but I don't think he even wore a tie - my father was more dressed up then FFIL and it was FFIL's mother's funeral and my folks were just there to support FH since it was his grandparent.

I have that same feeling that it's one night and he is the first of their 3 kids getting married and I just feel like they should be respectful of the evening and us and want to dress up, especially since there will be pictures and our reception is going to be at a golf and country club.

Hopefully when FH and his younger brother who is his bestman go to rent their tuxes they can at least convince their father to wear a suit!

[NowAShelton]

wow i didnt even think about it until just now! i know my daddy is getting a tux and fhs step mom will be wearing a dress she wore to her daughters wedding but no clue about ffil. probably a western button up and jeans and a cowboy hat with boots. major redneck. but like yall said i have no intention of getting involved in that. i have a hard enough time to get fh to talk about the reception hall that they are supposedly paying for...20 days until the wedding and they havent paid for it yet! but thats not my deal...anyhoo..didnt mean to steal the thread..!

[f77g4]

ooh i'd be so worried that they haven't paid for the reception venue yet - hope it all works out for you.

[vicky_vicky]

Well I think we future brides have many many things to worry about. I dont give a dime what my parents or my inlaws will be wearing as long as they are wearing some kind of clothing LOL! My mom said, as a joke -or seriously??!! :) - that she will wear a pretty dress from the ones she already has! I was like, ok mom, do as you please but you will look the same as you did a year ago in the event you wore that same dress!

Seriously now, let him do as he wants or even better, let your FH worry over this one!

Its gonna be your day girl, dont ruin your big smile!

[Brian's Bride]

Also, where I'm from, it seems both Dads always rent a tux. And DH's mom's fiancee also rented a tux. This is a guy who never owned a pair of khakis until my wedding rehearsal. DH coordinated all the guys, though, so I didn't really have to get my hands dirty (except for the stupid khakis!).