OMG, someone please help......

[tha_mrs]

There was a post about being married a second time.About the feelings of being scared about making it work, you know the second time.:bbeek: I know it is getting close to where he is going to formally ask me with the ring and all and I am like a dear in headlights! I was so sure the first time, this time I am afraid to say I am sure.Afraid I will be wrong again, when I know he loves me and he adores my son and has been there for me.I just don't know if I can take this pressure, I am so close to just walking away, just so that I don't fail. HELP PLEASE!

[Kacie_bride]

Sometimes in life we have to take chances. Sometimes when we take risks we fail, other times we do not. Our failures in life can make us stronger if we learn from them. You need to go with what is inside of your heart. Do not try to over analyze and scare yourself. You have to have to faith in your self and your FH. Do a little soul searching. Don't do anything irriational that you will regret. Think about, please think about it. Don't walk away because you're scared. If you truely know in your mind and heart that in the end it will not work then maybe you should walk away. But don't walk away because you're scared. You have to face your fears. Remember the old saying "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I'll think you'll be fine and you'll make the right choice.

[tha_mrs]

you know you are, but it's just so hard....I want to be right for him.

[brewsells]

Nette, I understand how you are feeling. I was previously married myself and that was honestly the biggest mistake of my life. The only good thing I got from it was my son. And now, here I am, about to get married again. This time I can really feel the connection though. I think if you really know in your heart that this is what you want, to marry him, then go with it! You don't want to live with the what-ifs. On the other hand, like kacie said, if you really know that it won't work, don't force it. But don't run away because you are scared. You could miss out on the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

[CindySue]

This is a remarriage for both me and Brian. Are we scared? Definitely. Scared enough to walk away? No. While I love Brian with all of my heart and he loves me the same, I know that we have to BOTH work hard to make it work. That was the problem before, both people in the relationship werent working on it so the marriages failed. They also werent the people we thought they were when we married them. I know Brian inside and out, and he knows me. There are no big secrets between us, we know the good, the bad, and the ugly about each other.
Also, even if things didnt work out between us, the way i see things is that EVERY person thats comes into my life, comes into it for a reason. Maybe it was a lesson for me to learn, or maybe I taught them something. But it was something that was predestined to happen.
Girl, if you want this and he wants this, yall can make it happen.
Best of luck to ya!

[tha_mrs]

As my son is the oly good thing that came from my first time.Tommio is everything that I could ever want in a man. Where I am weak he is strong and where he is weak I am strong.We always say we "balance" each other. My life was complete when I had my son, Tommio for me is like the present God suprised me with just at the right time. You know how you think you've got your best gift ever, and the day after Christmas is over you get engaged or find out you're pregnant or get approved for your first home.Just when you thought things couldn't get any better.God shows out! And gives you this wonderful wonderful man. The only thing is that first time I did everything I thought was what a wife should do, and he still was a jerk. I am just trying to figure out what to do this time, I guess. I can admit he is being patient while I am going through. He says he just wish I would give him a fair chance one time and he can show me it's not the same.The fair chance would be to say yes.And I love him and I see us growing old together and raising a family.I just gotta get the first step out of the way.:bbredface:

[Kacie_bride]

From reading your posts it sounds to me that fear is the problem here with you. I think you really love your man. Sometimes you just have to let fate take it's course. Trust him. You seem like you were the only working on your last marriage and not your ex when you say you tried to do everything you thought a wife should do. From the looks of things your current man now really really cares about you. Like Cindy said you both have to work hard at it to make it work. If your fh is committed he will work at it. If he's everything you've ever wanted don't let it get away. There can be lots of wrong people who come your way in life, but a lot of times there is only that one right person. Everything, like Cindy said, happens for a reason. You just have to have faith and trust.

[WebLady]

Well I already married (almost a year now!) but this is my second marriage. I was a little scared at first, heck there is still a tiny part of me that still is. But I have been with my DH for nearly 7 yrs and I know he loves me and I know I love him. I treasure everyday we have together and I won't let the 'What ifs' ruin what we have.

Being cautious is good but sometimes a fear of failure can hold you back in all sorts of things in life. This is something I am working on in others areas of my life too.

I say ask yourself the Hard Questions - http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=394&highlight=Hard+Questions - and if you are comfortable with the answers then hold your breathe and go for it!

Here are a few related quotes that I like ...

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. -Alexander Graham Bell

Love as if you have never been hurt ... that is the only way to really experience what happiness love can bring. - Unknown

Don’t rob yourself of tomorrow’s joys by dwelling on today’s pain. - Judy Mae

:goodluck:

[VenusElaine]

The only people who never fail or make mistakes are the people who do absolutely nothing. My first marriage was abusive and disfunctional, and although we have been separated for five years, and I have been living with Rob for almost three, I did not have the motivation to file until Rob told me that he wanted to be my husband, not just "the man I live with". When I left Garry, I was 43 and thought I would be alone the rest of my life. I was not "looking". I had my dog and my cat and very satisfying work as a professional seamstress. I thank God every day that Rob found me. I was attracted to him, but would never have made the first move because I was still legally tied to Garry. Rob knew the situation, was kind, considerate, and caring. We have our problems. He is grasshopper; I am an ant. He is a night owl; I am up at the crack of dawn. But we compliment each other, balance each other, as mentioned in a previous post. I have always listened to country music. Now sometimes I listen to Metallica. Rob has become a little more responsible and follows through on plans more. He does more around the house, and I have learned to be still. If you truly believe in your heart of hearts that it will not work, then walk away. But do not throw it away for "cold feet". Good luck to you, whatever your decision.

VenusElaine