Down a maid

[LaceyinPgh]

Ok, so I think that I am offically down a bridesmaid. I have been waiting for this shoe to fall and it appears that it has. I am not too sad about it. I don't want that kind of negativity around me anyway. To be honest she was such a pain I know that a couple of the other maids will be relieved that she is gone. Anyway, you all know that I have been having troupble with M. from teh start. She emailed me a couple weeks ago demanding that I meet her in person. I called her and told her that I didn't have the time in day to accomidate that. It wasn't going ot happen. If it were THAT important, she certainly knew where I lived, what my phone number was, and obvioulsy what my email address is. I know that might sound harsh but I am not one of those huggy, emotional, we should get together kind of people. Time is limited and I don't like wasting it for anyone. Anyway we have known each other since middle school. I have to say that it has been one drama ride to the next with her. It really is to the point that I don't even take it seriously when she HAS to talk to me because I have been called and told that to only to find out that she broke a nail on a new set of acrylics. You cry wolf one ot many times and poeple stop caring. Not to mention that if I say anything about my wedding she changes the subject. So I check my mail and find this today:

Hey Lacey,
It was nice to hear from you. It has been a few weeks. Which is odd because when last we spoke I had said that I needed to speak to you, it was important, and I needed to do it in person. Well, I just waited because I wanted to think about what I was doing. Now, on my birthday the person that I consider my longest friend, my best friend seemed to have the day off and only felt it necessary to send me an email. I actually did not think that you would even acknowledge it.
See, what I was wanting to talk to you about is our friendship. Over the last few years I have kinda battled with the idea that maybe we were drifting apart or that it was coming to the end. I can see that I am very much the one that runs when you call because I charish the fact that we have been friends for so long. You have a party, you call me from FL and you mom needs something I run because I LOVE YOU and I would drop most anything to be there for you. If you would have said that you had a problem you needed to talk about. I would have run to be there, that is how I am. I would have done more than email/called and said in a nasty tone that I was just to busy to deal with you. That just made me feel like you just thought there was something stupid going on and you did not have time for my ********. See I just wanted to talk through this and give us a chance to maintain a friend because over the last few years I have found myself realizing that maybe you do not consider me the type of friend that I consider you. Maybe you do not get the fact that I would and do drop things in my life to make sure I am there for you, that I always have your best interest at heart. Things have really opened my eyes over the years like that comment on your wedding website. Friend and band camp roommate. I told you that it bothered me and you just laughed. That comment just make me feel like all the things that I have done with you and for you are meaningless. All the time I have spent being with your family, your other friends. Did you realize that I am the only friend that you have that has been around enough other people in your life that I know all of Sean's friends and family and all of your family. But yet it seems to count for nothing. I feel like I am just old reliable, not really the person that you want, but when you need to talk or need someone to be at a party I am there and you keep me around. Usually in the past, you seem to sense when I am feeling like we should just go on with ourlives without one another in it you send a card or something and I calm down about it. Maybe I have even been afraid because I have always been very pleased with the idea of having a friend that I have had since my youth. Not many people have that and I felt very lucky. However, over the last month I have realized that you obvious do not consider me that important in your life and when I need you, at this point in our lives you will not want to bother with it.
On my birthday, I would think that my friend would call me and say happy birthday. Also, I have been out of work for three months I would think that you would wonder how I am and if I have any leads on a job.
I just feel maybe it is just time that we move on. I am guessing that you are pissed right now and saying **** OFF to me. You do not care what I have said nor are concerned with any of this. Thinking that I am stupid or something. You do not need this. All I am saying that over the last few years I have felt that I am not appreciated, your consideration for me is very low, and frankly friends or best friends do not act like that to each other. So, at this point in my life I feel like I am ready to let go of all the laughs, all the tears, everything that has made us what we were. I have a feeling that you would tell me if I were talking to you about someone else and saying these things you would agree with me. And yes I have thought that maybe I am wrong. Just because I would drop everything for you to be there or call you to make sure that you knew I was thinking of you, should I expect that from you. I have been afraid that maybe I set expectations on people that are too high because I would do that for them. Frankly, I am a great friend with a big heart that would give people the shirt off my back. So, what should I not expect to be treated well. To put effort into something is to care about it. So, being that there has been little effort put forth in my direction I must on assume that you could careless and it really is time to move on.
Please know that I do love you like a best friend and wanted to talk about this, but at this point I deserve better because I give better. I want the best for you in your life and you seem to be on your way to getting all that you wanted and I am sooo happy for you. Also, if you are going to reply to this by yelling at me. Just don't. I am not here to start a fight or add stress. I am just simply stating the obvious. And I wish that things could be different

So when I get home from work today I am going to sit and write a response telling her that i don't want her in the wedding, in my life, or bothering me. I don't have the time to deal with her drama and problems and everything else. I don't talk to my friends EVERY day. My MOH and I are lucky to get a concersation in every week or so. Unless she calls, I don't even talk to my mom every day. Heck, when Sean is out of town, I don't talk to him everyday. I know I am coming across as mean and a :censored: but I am just freaking tired of it all. In a way, I'll be glad to see her go.

[KMac]

Hey Lacey,
WOW! I am terribly sorry about this whole situation.:bbcry: I feel for you. You do make some very great points though. You do not need ALL this drama in your life. And you are right, you can only "cry wolf" so many times. I guess you just really have to decide if throwing it all away is worth it. You might be better off in the long run. This is the short version of what I wanted to say. I was in your position once, and I did turn around and say to my ex-friend, "forget it, I really don't need all this :censored: in my life". And I tell ya, it has been much better since I got rid of her. I wish you well. This is a tough decision. Just know everyone is here to listen. If you need anything else, let us know.
Good Luck
KMac

[CindySue]

****.....Sorry you are having to go through this. I hate having to write off friends myself but sometimes its unavoidable. Best of Luck to you!

[LaceyinPgh]

So, I call my mother, the compassion queen. First I wanted to see if we could white out M.'s name from the shower invites. Of course according ot my mother it bleeds through and looks like ****. Oh well, how is going to notice, right? Anyway my mother pointed out that we have been friends for a long time, which is right. And, that M. and I have never been on equal footing. I had parents. I had a stable life. I have a good relationship. She has never had those things. My mom wants me to wait a day or two. I have decided that no matter what, I don't want her in my wedding. If she can pull this with 65 days to go, I don't trust her one bit. But at the same time I don't want to hurt her. She is at a miserable point in her life and has been there for some time. So I am meeting with my coordinator today. Then I am hitting some stores downtown. After that I am coming home and going to pen my response to send out to her tonight. Why couldn't she have done this months ago when I could still have a fighting chance of handeling it in a rational and sane manner?

[StaceyMc]

Lacey - I'm sorry that this is happening at this point in the planning.

If she was a friend, she would have just waited until after the wedding was over, smiled through the shower, ceremony and reception and been genuinely happy for you, and then talked to you about it after the wedding, if she was still feeling that way. 65 days is too close to start this kind of stuff.

I've dropped friends because of their drama before. I have enough drama at work and enough of my own stuff that I really didn't need anyone else's. Every week, I felt like itw as a new installment of the drama movie of the week. I got fed up and dropped her.

I know you're not a huggy kinda girl...but hugs to ya anyways.

[brewsells]

Lacey, I am really sorry to hear about your BM. Really not a "friendly" thing for her to do with so little time left before your wedding. It actully seems selfish to me.

[rainbowtreat]

Lacey I hear ya girl. This was bad timing and you cant mess with a girl who is plannign a wedding. I mean come one we can only handle so much. And planning a wedding is a pain enough without all that drama from other people.

I am in the process of tryign to figure out how to drop oen of mine. She doenst know it yet but thigns are being planned with out her in it.

I dont mean to hijack your thread or anything. But this girl has been a freind for almost 7 years. Our daughters are 6 months apart in age. That was how we ended up being friends. We were realy close even though most of my other friends just didnt care for her much or understand her. But I did. She was one that was always around or atleast would call once a week just to say hi. Since she got herself knocked up by my ex boyfreind ( who seems to talk about me ALL the time so she has said ) why she would ever sleep with her best frinds ex boyfreind is beyond me. Not that he left me I did the leaving but I mean come on some common sense would tell you NO. I believe he has filled her head full of **** and she is so gullable that she beleives him. I for one think she is jealous of what I have with Nicholas and doesnt know how to deal with it. I have a feeling that once she has the baby in May she will be here looking for comfort for giving it up for adoption. And then decide to get a dress made for the wedding. I DON'T THINK SO! for one, she has had plenty of time before she got pregnant and early on in the pregnacy to get atleast measured for a dress to get things started. She never did. She also would not fit in with the other girls. We all will be having a balst together and she is the shy type that will just sit aside and not say a word and follow me around like a lost puppy dog. I dont need that on my wedding day.

So I kind of know how you feel Lacey. I just dont know how to go about telling her when she hasnet bothered to call or try to call in the last 2 months or so. I mean how do I call her and say since you havent been around your not in the wedding. All the other girls are spread all over and still doing their part of keepign me informed about gettign their dresses made and what they are doing about getting here and such. She lives about 15 mins from me and I have heard nothing. The other girls I will go a week to a month before I realize that I haven't talked ot them so I will give them a call or I get oen from them. Just to catch up. But again nothing from her. I did leave her message. I told her I was just seeing how she was doing and letting her know I was still alive. But again , no reply. So I have given up and I am planning without her. I expected her to be the one to be around and lend a hand. The other girls are doing their own things to help from so far away. OK I realy took over your thread lacey but again what do we do?

Good luck with your so called friend. Hope you get it figured out no matter what the outcome.

[AngelinLove]

I am sorry for both of you that you have to deal with friends that are drmatic, especially since you are planning weddings and have enough stress going on. I would like to give my opinion, but I really hope that I don't **** anyone off.

Gwen- I think that you probably should have dropped that friend when you found out that she was sleeping with you ex. I mean that shows you right there that she is not a true friend. But I think that you will have to decide if you ever want to be her friend again before you completely eliminate her. I mean, after you "boot" her from the bridal party the friendship will probably be unreparable. I mean, since you chose to stay friends with her, even after she slept with your ex, you must care for her and if she's really not worth the drama I would say go for it, but if you really love her and want her in your life....you might want to reconsider.

Lacey- I unfortunately think that you are making a mistake. I mean, I believe that your BM is feeling just as bad as you are and that it is really all just a miscommunication. She does not know how to communicate her feelings to you in the correct way, so they have been building. Now she has exploded in an email and completely *issed you off. At the same time, I think that you have been unable to communicate effectively with her, or it never would have led to the point that it has now. I think that you need to just talk to her and get everything out in the open. If you walk away from such a long standing friendship, because you are getting married, are busy, and are stressed out, you may regret it later. My suggestion would be to either meet with her and talk to her like to grown adults or just ignore the email and the whole conflict. Lashing back at her through a letter or email is just going to make the matter worse.

I'm sorry if I upset either of you...I just wanted to give my opinion...and you know what they say about those anyways!!!

[rainbowtreat]

I am not upset by your comment. An dI understand where your coming from. I didnt drop her after the ex boyfriend thing because I know how much she needed some one at that time so i pushed that aside. But she is always full of drama and the whole time I have known her she has always been there when SHE wanted to be or had the time to be. There has always been one drama after another. But with all I have tired to do to help her it doesnt seem to matter. The biggest part is that my daughter keeps asking for her daughter. That is the hard part but I dont say anythign negaitve arond my daughter at all. I just try to explaint hat they are too busy right now. We just dont have the time. And we have been doing alot with the kids to keep them busy. I have never realy got over the ex boyfreind thing, she knew how I felt about him and she was with him behind my back. It is her life. If she wants to be some ones sex partner it is up to her but I am not going to sit there and listen to her about how he treats her. She was there the year i was with him. She heard everythign I had to say about it all. My life is finaly going to normal. No unnessary drama and I dont want it and my kids dont need to be exposed to it. No offence taken by you at all. Just in 7 yrs no matter what I have tired to do it doesnt seem to count. She is withme when there is no one else. She may be busy with others at the moment but once they decide to throw her aside she will try to come crawlign back tome. Sorry, but I have better friends then that and I dont need that.

[Kacie_bride]

It's really hard for me to make an accurate judgement because we are only getting one side of the story. There are always two sides. I sort of agree with Angel. This friend really seems like she cares for you. Then again I agree with everyone else too that she shouldn't have done this now. Perhaps you should talk it out with her. Maybe it's mendable, maybe not. I think you really should think it out a little mroe. But good luck on whatever you decide. In the end you know what is best for you.

[LaceyinPgh]

I am sorry for both of you that you have to deal with friends that are drmatic, especially since you are planning weddings and have enough stress going on. I would like to give my opinion, but I really hope that I don't **** anyone off.

Lacey- I unfortunately think that you are making a mistake. I mean, I believe that your BM is feeling just as bad as you are and that it is really all just a miscommunication. She does not know how to communicate her feelings to you in the correct way, so they have been building. Now she has exploded in an email and completely *issed you off. At the same time, I think that you have been unable to communicate effectively with her, or it never would have led to the point that it has now. I think that you need to just talk to her and get everything out in the open. If you walk away from such a long standing friendship, because you are getting married, are busy, and are stressed out, you may regret it later. My suggestion would be to either meet with her and talk to her like to grown adults or just ignore the email and the whole conflict. Lashing back at her through a letter or email is just going to make the matter worse.

I'm sorry if I upset either of you...I just wanted to give my opinion...and you know what they say about those anyways!!!

I'm not mad or upset at you. I'm a firm believer in the right to free speech. I appreciate hearing everyone's opinion. If not, I wouldn't have posted.

But you don't know everything. (Don't read a defensive tone in this because it wasn't meant to have one). I have been picking up the pieces for Melinda since the 8th grade. (We are 27 now.) By picking up the pieces I mean I was there and stood by her when her oldest sister went to jail for a crime that I can't even speak of because it was so horrible. I was there in high school when she came home and found out that her mother and only parent had packed up and moved to the next state to live with her boyfriend, leaving M. and her twin sister to pay the house payment and utilities or have NO place to live. My own parents took her in. I was there through EVERY pregnancy scare she had in high school and college. There were far more than one. I was there late at night when she wanted ot talk about her boyfirends cheating on her, beating her, or just in general being an *******. I was there when she fianlly got up the strength to leave her abusive ******* husband. I am the one who talks to her in the middle of the night or drives the hour to meet her in her hometown when the **** hits the fan. I listen as she drones on about her insane family for hours on end. So for her to say that she isn't apprecaited or that I don't return the favor is WAY out of line on her part.

She hasn't called me once to say "Hey how is that wedding planning going?" She hasn't volunteered to do a darn thing for the job that she wanted. I'm sorry life was so hard on her. I really am. I wish everyone could have grown up the way that I did. But life doesn't work out that way. She needs to stop fighting for negative attention. She needs to stop pinning her unhappiness on someone else. She needs to grow up and take charge of her life.

Frankly, this isn't the first time that she has pulled the bs with me. I usually just ignore it. But right now is NOT a good time to add more stress to my life. I am 64 days away from my wedding. If it was so important for her to communicate this to me, she knew how to get in touch with me. She says that she has felt this way for years? So why would she agree to be my bridesmaid? Or now that she is in it, she should have just sucked it up for a couple more weeks. She has the nerve to say that I am a bad friend but she leaves me stranded 64 days before my wedding with this drama? I think not. She needs to go. We have NOTHING in common anymore in life. Maybe in the future when she grows up we can work something out. But not until then. As far as I see it, she has just wasted 15 months of my time. That is unforgiveable.

[CindySue]

Me and the people I consider "friends" have an unspoken rule. We DO NOT go out with the others exs. Thats not a problem because I cant stand my friends exs and they cant stand mine. Gwen, youre probably a better friend than I could have been.
While I do see Angels point and understand where shes coming from....Kacie and Laceys right we dont know the whole story. And regardless of what the email said if I had been treated the way she makes it sound like Lacey treated her no matter how I felt about the person, I would have found another friend. The fact that she has stuck around for so long shows that she hasnt really been treated the way she makes it sound. IMO - the girl sounds needy and jealous. No she shouldnt be pulling this so close to the wedding. Sounds to me like shes wanting to pull some of the focus off of Lacey right now.
Lacey I understand why you want to drop her. Friends CAN AND DO grow apart. Im glad that you would be willing to rekindle you friendship at a later date. Maybe when things are better for eher, she wont be so jealous of you.
Oh.....and I just gotta say this too - It doesnt matter how we were raised, when we become adults, WE make the decisions that bring us to the point where we are right now. If shes not happy with where her life is, then SHE needs to take the steps to change it and not blame the people that may have had it better.
Yes.....i ranted and Im sorry. I didnt sleep very well last night and am slightly agitated. If I offended anyone I am sorry. I didnt mean to.
Good Luck to all!!!

[LaceyinPgh]

Me and the people I consider "friends" have an unspoken rule. We DO NOT go out with the others exs. Thats not a problem because I cant stand my friends exs and they cant stand mine. Gwen, youre probably a better friend than I could have been.
While I do see Angels point and understand where shes coming from....Kacie and Laceys right we dont know the whole story. And regardless of what the email said if I had been treated the way she makes it sound like Lacey treated her no matter how I felt about the person, I would have found another friend. The fact that she has stuck around for so long shows that she hasnt really been treated the way she makes it sound. IMO - the girl sounds needy and jealous. No she shouldnt be pulling this so close to the wedding. Sounds to me like shes wanting to pull some of the focus off of Lacey right now.
Lacey I understand why you want to drop her. Friends CAN AND DO grow apart. Im glad that you would be willing to rekindle you friendship at a later date. Maybe when things are better for eher, she wont be so jealous of you.
Oh.....and I just gotta say this too - It doesnt matter how we were raised, when we become adults, WE make the decisions that bring us to the point where we are right now. If shes not happy with where her life is, then SHE needs to take the steps to change it and not blame the people that may have had it better.
Yes.....i ranted and Im sorry. I didnt sleep very well last night and am slightly agitated. If I offended anyone I am sorry. I didnt mean to.
Good Luck to all!!!

Here is a hug :hug: cause you are tired and probably need it. If not, here's a drink because baby right now it is happy hour in Moscow. :cheers:

[LaceyinPgh]

So, here is the email that I am thinking of sending her. To be honest, I know that I should call. But, I know the second I hear her voie, I will lapse into man eater mode and tear her a new one for sport. Besides she hates confrontation as much as I love it. SO I am trying to spare he ras much pain as possible. I know its going to hurt her but this might be less.

M.,
I got your email. I'm sorry you feel that way but if that is how you want this to be, then so be it. Adults ebb and flow in their relationships I'm sorry that you have a hard time dealing with that. You are an adult and capable of making the decisions that you want to in life. I wish you all the best.

I hope that you respect my decision that I do not want you invovled as a bridesmaid in my wedding. I will be contacting you via email about the dress in a few days. If the person that I place in your spot can wear it, I will send you a check.

I am highly upset about one thing. The fact that you could call yourself such a great friend to me. Do you realize that you stuck me 64 days before my wedding? You claim to have felt this way for years. So why then when I asked you to be a major part of the biggest day in my life did you accept? You could have no. Or, if you have felt this way for years, why not just suck it up and deal with it for 64 more days? I have so much going on that I really didn't need this added to the mix. So, the next time you proclaim what a wonderful heart you have or what a martyr you want to be on the alter of friendship stop and remember that you screwed Sean and I over 64 days before the most joyous albeit stress filled day in our lives.
Lacey

[brewsells]

Lacey, again, I am really sorry that you have to be going through all of this at this point. Not the best timing. Ultimatly, what you feel is best, usually is. If you feel that the friendship needs to end, then so be it. It is really insensitive of your friend to talk to you as if you have never been there for her. What more is it that she would like you to do? Whatever you decide to do, know that you have my support. This is your decision.

[CindySue]

Here is a hug :hug: cause you are tired and probably need it. If not, here's a drink because baby right now it is happy hour in Moscow. :cheers:
I believe Ill take both!! Thanks a bunch only from the sounds of things, you may need them more than me so I will share!

And your email sounds good. I appreciate the fact that you realize what could happen if you called. If more people thought about their actions before they acted...................

[WhiskeyGirl]

And your email sounds good. I appreciate the fact that you realize what could happen if you called. If more people thought about their actions before they acted...................

I agree Lacey! You are doing the right thing by emailing and not calling!

And Lacey you are so right, she really screwed you right before your wedding...why would a FRIEND do that to you??

Hope things turn out the way you would like them to!! take care!

[Kacie_bride]

She does seem like she has the jealousy bug. From the information provided she also seems very immature. In a way I feel sorry for her because she seems like this very needy person. However, she is an adult and sometimes time heals wounds. Even with the drama, it seems like at least at one time you guys were really good friends. I hope, for both of your sakes, that maybe after some time you can work your differences out. I think it is probably smart to have her not be a part of your wedding. That could cause to much tension. Your e-mail sounds good. Good luck.

[LaceyinPgh]

I want to thank you ladies again for all of your support. I really appreciate having people who will listen to me and give me an honest opinion. I really thought that after I sent her that email this morning, that it would be done and over. At least, for awhile she would be licking her wounds. But I was wrong. I guess that my assumption that it was a cry for attention was correct. Because she didn't let it go. She sent me another email attacking me some more and flat out telling me that instead of giving her directly what she wanted in the first email she sent that I was supposed to come running after her. AHHHHHHH!!!! Between dealing with M. and my mother I REALLY should see if the local community college around here offers language lessons in "crazy" because I need them!

See this is the reaction that I thought that I would get. I wanted to be an adult and talk through things and fix them. I do not want to ruin your wedding or screw you over. I was hoping that we could talk about things. I cherish you and Sean as friends, but do you want me to stand up for you with ill feelings.Yes, I have felt that things have been one sided, but my feelings would change back and forth. The straw that broke the camel's back was the that that you could not make a few minutes to talk to me when I said that I had something important to talk to you about. The fact that I only deserve an email that says Happy Birthday, not a call or let alone a call that says how are you? I was simply trying to get things out in the open so that we can fix things. I know you have a hard time with anyone saying anything to you about something they think is wrong. You have said to me for years, that I should stand up for myself and the minute that I feel that I am and I have a concern. Furthermore, your email says that your weddding, your life. I have a life and feelings. How do you think that I felt when the person I call my best friend did not seem to care that if I needed to talk to them. Did not think of enough of me to call for three weeks and then just sent an email with two words in it. I said yes to your wedding because I have a great love as my best friend for you in my heart and I still do, but how can I continue to convince myself that I am something to you that I am not. See, that is the whole point here. I feel like for the last 13 years I have felt that we were these great best friends, but over the years it has felt like you could take me or leave me. So, why would you want me in your wedding, if I am so unimportant in your life. In just seconds of reading my email you are so ready to through it away.
I guess that is the difference between you and me. I would have tried so hard to get you to understand that what you thought was wrong. Relationships are work and sometimes people are wrong or right no matter what it all takes work. Believe me I do not want to be right here. I do not want to have believed for the last 13 years that we were best friends and then have it all be false. How stupid would I have been. You would think that after all that we have been through. We would try to work through this. So, I do not know. I told you how I felt and I was hoping that you would have wanted to work through this, but instead you just let me go. That I guess shows me how much I mean to you. I am sorry that I could not be enough or a better friend

Now I could really respond and point out how insane she sounds. But, I am going to let this go. I am going to call my cousin Erin tonight and ask if she would like to be a bridesmaid. If she says yes than one day this week we are going to go and see if M.'s dress can be cut down to fit her. Or if not, we still have time to get a rush shipping order of the dress in by the first of May. If Erin says no, then I plan on asking my friend Becky. When taht is done I will email M. and ask her to either allow the store to release the dress to me and I will pay the $150 still owed on it or I will email her and inform her that we can't use the dress she should contac tthe store and make her own arraingments with it.

[Kacie_bride]

I think you are doing the right thing by not responding back to her. You are being the bigger person by not re-responding and having an all out battle. You've made your decision and right now you need to focus on the task at hand, your wedding. Put this to the back of your mind and stay focused. You can worry with working it out later.

[Valmai]

I also agree with not responding, your just giving 'feeding' her so to speak if you keep up the tooing and froing of emails. Good luck with your decision and look forward to a wonderful day! xxx

[CindySue]

Lacey, I think you are doing the right thing by not responding. (Although it would take everyhting I had not to!) Shes trying SOOO hard to portray herself as a victim but shes really only coming across as mental unstable. She must not have enough drama going on in her life right now so shes trying to create some with you.
Good luck with this mess. I really feel for you. You really shouldnt be having to go through this right now!

[LaceyinPgh]

Lacey, I think you are doing the right thing by not responding. (Although it would take everyhting I had not to!) Shes trying SOOO hard to portray herself as a victim but shes really only coming across as mental unstable. She must not have enough drama going on in her life right now so shes trying to create some with you.
Good luck with this mess. I really feel for you. You really shouldnt be having to go through this right now!
Thanks Cindy. Trust me, it took a lot to not respond and tell it how it was. But, you can't argue with a crazy person and make them see your point. I have neough stress and not enough energy to deal with it at this point, why cause myself more?

[MOB Karen]

Lacey, we also had a BM that told Amber that she didn't want to be in her wedding anymore. Amber had a miscarriage in January 2006, and this BM actually told her that ever since she had her miscarriage, Amber has been a b*tch to her. She said Amber was jealous of her because she could have children. We were so shocked, because, 1) it was a horrible thing to say to someone, and 2) Amber had actually chosen someone like that to be her BM in the first place. We asked someone else and that person is so happy to be in the wedding, she has already bought her dress. I think things eventually work out the way they are supposed to. Good luck!

[LaceyinPgh]

So the new question, what do I do with her bridesmaid gift? I got them all birthstone neckalces, anyone out there have a March birthday? :bbmrgreen:

[MOB Karen]

Well, if you can't find any March babies, just pray that the next BM is an aquamarine lover. ;)