Update on flower girl!

[BeautifulOrchid]

So, I bought the FG another dress (modern, burgundy). Everyone thinks it's very nice, and my other FG is wearing it.
I mail the dress over to Scotland, and after waiting for over a week I get mail saying she didn't like the dress, so she went out and bought one and she'll wear that as a FG.

She didn't ask me if she could do it, she didn't tell me she was going to do it, I don't get any pictures or anything. Just:'That's what she'll wear!'

I WAS RAGING!!!!

After cooling down a bit I wrote a mail back saying I found it pretty rude doing that without my consent. But I also offered a compromise. I want to see pictures of her in each dress (mine and her mum's) and I decide together with two of my bridesmaids which one it'll be.

Does this sound like a good compromise and a fair one? I think it is, but I just want an outsider's opinion.

Thx girls!!!

[scarymary48]

That is an unbelievably gracious compromise! You must be a lovely person. I'm embarassed to admit that I would have told them to either go with the dress I bought or forget being in the wedding.

[PGDesigns]

Wow. I can't imagine someone doing that without asking. You have been more than generous with your compromise. Good luck!

[FFC]

EFF that! I say it's your wedding, YOU decide what she wears. If she doesn't want to wear what you want her to wear, she doesn't need to be in the wedding. FAIR and SQUARE.

Sorry, maybe I'm a bit too opinionated, but I think that's BS.

[Nekochanpurr]

I think its nice of you to give her a compromise, but i don't think anyone would hold it against you if you didn't.. How rude!!

[mitch]

Hang on a cotton picking minute. Who's the Bride here?

Oh yeah it's YOU honey. You had the good grace to mail it safely all the way to Scotland only for her to get the hump about it. Geeez some people just don't know they're born.

I'm with FFC on this one. She should wear the dress you picked out because no doubt it matches everything else. Or step down from the role and let someone who really cares take her place.


Ouch my fingers hurt from slamming the keyboard in anger here. :bbeek:
I need to have a cup of Tea (Ooh how very English lol) and calm down.

I really feel for you other Brides on here. Hope everything works out OK.

[RosieAngel]

I'd put my foot down! They have no right to step all over you like this! :irked:

[BeautifulOrchid]

AN UPDATE!

So, after a big row last night we got some pics. She didn't want to send me any saying it didn't matter. WTF?!

Opened the file with a very open mind and I hated it. It's awful and old fashioned. H2B even said:'My niece is NOT wearing that.'
My bridesmaids all agreed (I didn't tell them which dress I had bought).

We called them to tell them our thoughts and they would think about it...

What do they have to think about? For us it's very obvious: my dress or no FG.

I'll keep you posted.

Thx girls for the support!

[FFC]

I'm lookin forward to hearing how this pans out!!! You go girl!

[mitch]

AN UPDATE!

So, after a big row last night we got some pics. She didn't want to send me any saying it didn't matter. WTF?!

Opened the file with a very open mind and I hated it. It's awful and old fashioned. H2B even said:'My niece is NOT wearing that.'
My bridesmaids all agreed (I didn't tell them which dress I had bought).

We called them to tell them our thoughts and they would think about it...

What do they have to think about? For us it's very obvious: my dress or no FG.

I'll keep you posted.

Thx girls for the support!

Does she live on Scotland?

I'm in England, do you want me to drive up the M1 and give her a slap. LOL

I'm glad you have made contact and explained the situation. And great to know that your FH has backed you up on this. I can feel your frustration on this issue. Hope it gets resolved soon.

[octoberbride]

OMG! I cannot believe they did that!! And they said they'd "think about it" PLEASE! I agree with the others, no dress = no flowergirl. How rude. You must be a really nice person because I think I would have told them that they can suck it up and not be in the wedding when they mentioned it the first time, lol

[mitch]

Comments on this post
kgvettegirl agrees: I have to say I love to read your input, You need to make a thread with all sorts of smarty comebacks so that we can add them to our vocabulary

Thanks for the comment kgvettegirl. I have been known to shoot people down in flames with one comment. Or if there's an entire conversation going on in the room and you get that kind of lull in the convo. I can say certain things that brings everyone back on track.

Maybe it's because i'm used to online chatrooms where there are several comments going on at once and i can manage to keep up. Or Forums like this which i also run myself elsewhere (I wont spam it lol)
Or maybe it's because i'm just a gobby cow LOL.

I just hope no one takes offence to me here. Being English i have a slightly different and sometimes warped sense of humour.
I don't mean offence. But if i did mean it i'd type the entire thread in CAPITAL LETTERS :bbeek::D:winktongue:

[MrsBold]

Me = not so nice. I would have told them where that dress can go if they love it so much. Their is nothing to 'think about.' It is your wedding and a dress, which YOU paid for, should not bring up this ruckus. It isn't like you are asking them to pay for a $500 dress she will never wear again.

I hope it ends well so they can at least be included, but from the sound of it they may put a damper on the day either way.

[BeautifulOrchid]

Me = not so nice. I would have told them where that dress can go if they love it so much. Their is nothing to 'think about.' It is your wedding and a dress, which YOU paid for, should not bring up this ruckus. It isn't like you are asking them to pay for a $500 dress she will never wear again.

I hope it ends well so they can at least be included, but from the sound of it they may put a damper on the day either way.

I paid for the dress!!!! And the previous 2!!!!!!

Got an email last night saying she's not wearing the dress I got her and if that means she's not in the wedding so be it.

I think I'm going to accept the resignation.

[kiddienurse601]

EFF that! I say it's your wedding, YOU decide what she wears. If she doesn't want to wear what you want her to wear, she doesn't need to be in the wedding. FAIR and SQUARE.

Sorry, maybe I'm a bit too opinionated, but I think that's BS.
What she said! What utter BS. My wedding, my choice!

[Kfancii]

I paid for the dress!!!! And the previous 2!!!!!!

Got an email last night saying she's not wearing the dress I got her and if that means she's not in the wedding so be it.

I think I'm going to accept the resignation.

Sounds to me like you just saved yourself alot of future headaches. My first marriage I had a church wedding with all the attendants and my now ex-husband had a 5 year old nephew that we asked to be the ring bearer. Well his Mom said he was too old to be the ring bearer and should be a groomsman- I put my foot down and said he is ring bearer or not in the wedding. He was the ringbearer. Stick to your guns on this one! It is your wedding, your choices.

[mitch]

I paid for the dress!!!! And the previous 2!!!!!!


Geeez does this FG's Mother think you are made of money!!

To buy one dress and see them having a strop is one thing. But another 2?

I say accept the resignation. Find someone else to take her place if you have time and someone in mind. And enjoy YOUR day.

[octoberbride]

Got an email last night saying she's not wearing the dress I got her and if that means she's not in the wedding so be it.

I think I'm going to accept the resignation.




Def. accept the resignation! Who do these people think they are?! I'd love to see the look on their face when you say it's fine and she won't be in the wedding, haha

[FFC]

I hope you put your foot down on this - especially if you have FH's support!!

[Fireman'sgirl]

Do you have someone else who can step in? I would inform the FG's mom that you accept her resignation and move on. I wonder what the big deal with the dress is to the mom? Just suck it up and move on!

[BeautifulOrchid]

FH just called his brother telling him to wear it or stick it! And they're sticking it. So this whole stupid B-movie is over!
Don't have anyone to step in. But my other flower girl is a darling!
Only 3 weeks to go now.

Thanks for the help girls!

[FFC]

FH just called his brother telling him to wear it or stick it! And they're sticking it. So this whole stupid B-movie is over!
Don't have anyone to step in. But my other flower girl is a darling!
Only 3 weeks to go now.

Thanks for the help girls!


I just noticed, WE have the same wedding date!!!! :whoohoo: My first wedding DAY buddy!!!!!

And good for FH for sticking up for you!!!! Kudos to him!

[mitch]

FH just called his brother telling him to wear it or stick it! And they're sticking it. So this whole stupid B-movie is over!
Don't have anyone to step in. But my other flower girl is a darling!
Only 3 weeks to go now.

Thanks for the help girls!

Called his Brother telling him to wear it?
Does it fit him?
Can we see pictures? :rofl:

Glad to hear FH continuing to back you on this.
Your other FG sounds like she is behind you 100%. So a big round of applause to her too.

Now try and chill out for the next 3 weeks (I know it's easier said than done) and enjoy your wedding day.

[SerendipityCrafts]

So this whole stupid B-movie is over!
Don't have anyone to step in.

*picking my jaw up off the floor* .... pardon me but I can't get over what a bunch of boobs they are!

The little girl is going to miss out on being a part of your wedding because her mother doesn't want her wearing your dress?!!! How very sad that is! I feel sorry for the little girl but good for you for standing your ground. Let them explain it to the daughter.

BTW - I am sure some little girl would be very happy to wear the dress LOL

Now wouldn't that be a hoot?

SIL: "Who is that child?"

YOU: "I don't know"

SIL: "What do you mean you don't know"

YOU: "Well when you said that you wouldn't let your daughter wear my dress. I went out and found a neighbourhood child that agreed to wear my FG dress, smile for pics and was HAPPY to do it!!!!!"

[mitch]

Yeah find the prettiest girl in the neighbourhood and e-mail the pics straight over.

Oooh evil thoughts evil thoughts. :bbtwisted: :wink:

[vannadear]

FH just called his brother telling him to wear it or stick it! And they're sticking it. So this whole stupid B-movie is over!
Don't have anyone to step in. But my other flower girl is a darling!
Only 3 weeks to go now.

Thanks for the help girls!

Wow I can't believe the audacity of this entire story! I'm so glad you put your foot down though, what was next the flower girl refusing to use the petals you provide because she doesn't like the color? REDICULOUS. They should reimburse you for the dress and the stress they caused you :winktongue:

I say one flower girl is more then enough, especially is she's such a sweetie like you say! Good for you Girl!