Well, she did it again. What is wrong with me?!

[CarlosHoney]

I stupidly forgave her, and she did it again. My mom never sent the check for the cake. So, not only did she lie, but I don't have a reservation for my cake.:bbmad:

The bakery mentioned that they never recieved the check that she said was coming by certified mail. She told me that she gave them her card number.

Well, I'm angry, but also heartbroken. When she called and we 'made up' I told her that the only condition that our relationship rested on was that she be honest with me. So, we have less money than we thought. That money was going torwards the Groom's Cake. Well, no more. We're going to have to cut some things too. F#@%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As it is, we're probably cutting the Arch, the fans, the lanterns, and the champaigne. This sucks. :bbcry:

[Hayz]

I'm sorry Carrie - I know it must suck for you but just remember the most important thing - You are marring Carlo - the man you love.
Will you still be able to marry him if you don't the arch? or the lanterns. And of course you possibly couldn't get married if you didn't have any champagne!

Yes these things would be nice to have, but they don't make the day. Only you and Carlo and wee Elias can do that and the love that you share.

So cheer up girl - no more of this :bbmad: and plenty more of this :)

[CarlosHoney]

True, it's just stuff. But you know where I'm coming from. The cake was the first thing that I really started looking at. I wanted to have MY cake MY way.

It's just material things, and I have two men in my life way better than fans and champaigne.. But I just really wanted her to be honest with me for once. Just once I wish that she would tell me the truth, and not try to flip it on me and make it seem like I'm overreacting. I'm sick of it. She hasd made so many promises that she has totally broken. I'm just so.....tired.

Thanks for letting me vent. :)

[Valmai]

Im sorry she let you down again but at least you know you have given her every possible chance again and again - enjoy your wedding and look forward and try not to let the past interfer with the wonderful life that you Carlo and Elias have in front of you! xxx

[LaceyinPgh]

I am so sorry Carrie. I know how you feel about your mom. I also know that you are more upset at being hurt by her than by not having the cake of your dreams. You are getting to marry to Carlo and solidify your family with Elias. That is worth more than all the cake and champagne in the world. But I also know how you feel in giving up something for your special day that you were looking forward to. :hug: It is totally not cool to have to do that. It would be one thing if you had to give those things up through fault of your own but when you were counting on someone else it makes it worse. I'll look around today and see if I can find paper lanterns and fans that are cheap for you. Oh, check Target they had paper lanterns in their summer aisle yesterday. Keep an eye on them, by the end of May they will be on clearance .

[CindySue]

Im sorry you are having to go through this AGAIN......we want so much for things to be different this time. Sadly a lot of times they arent. I had problems with my mom when I moved to this town in August. Not sure why unless it was because she couldnt "control" me. I think it was maybe because she was losing her favorite scapegoat. We have since made nice, but thats because I REFUSE to be put down by her any longer, and she knows it. I could have held a grudge but for my kids sake it wasnt worth it. I even bought her 2 Azalea plants last week. But Carrie, how I got to this point was to write her off for a while. I didnt talk to her for about 4 months. I didnt need her, my kids didnt need her and she realized that if she wanted to be a part of our lives she was going to have to change a lot of her previous behaviors. I really wasnt doing it to be mean. I was with Brian and I was happy. I wasnt going to let her bring me down.
I hope things will turn around for you, I really do......Best of Luck Sweetie.

[brewsells]

Carrie, I am really sorry you have to go through this again.:hug:I understand how this must make you feel, being let down by your mom. Especially after you just had this same talk with her not too long ago. Keep your chin up sweetheart. It will all be fine in the end. And the end will be the best beacuse you will be married to Carlo! :D

[ikkin510]

Carrie, I'm so sorry that she did this too you again. It is tough to have to cut things that you want in your wedding to be able to afford the bigger things. You have Carlos and Elias and that's all that matter though. I will keep and eye out also for the lanterns and an arch as a good price for you. Sorry again hon! :hug:

PS. You know we are all here for you. Just let us know if you need :chair: We love to get them out! :bb:

[Jenn060306]

Hey Carrie,
I'm sorry your mom is still doing this to you. It's not fair. But, everyone is right. What matters most is your going to marry Carlo. It would be great to have the extra things like the fans and lanterns. I really hope you are able to still get them.
Hopefully you mom will get it soon. But maybe take a break from her and don't let her try and help anymore.

[CarlosHoney]

No, I didn't let her help again.. Originally, before everything happened, that's when she "paid" the baker. She really didn't, and just went on letting me think that it was taken care of. I was thinking that I'd have to pitch in for the extra servings of cake, but that all we needed to pay was about $30. Well, add the $118 to that.

I've tried getting ahold of her, and she doesn't return my calls. That's fine. Whatever. Whenever she calls me back, I'm going to tell her that she broke my trust by not telling me that the check wasn't sent, and that she let me think that she paid by credit card. And, the thing that I am most upset about is that she let me find this out from THE BAKER! The bakery told me that they never received payment, and that there is no deposit holding our spot.

She should have told me so that I could have done something. This woman.. This is just how she is. When am I going to learn?

[CindySue]

Can you fix it? I mean can you still save your spot?

[CarlosHoney]

My dad said that he's going to move things around and send a check. I'm just so.....

http://www.radgraphics.net/images/main/ArtilleryShell.jpg

[CindySue]

Girl...I dont blame ya one single bit. Im feeling the same way about my oldest son. Im hoping Im calm when I get home or I may go postal on him.

[CarlosHoney]

did I miss something? wha'd he do?

[CindySue]

[/URL] did I miss something? wha'd he do?
You didnt miss anything. I didnt post anything about it. Ive been sitting here at my desk quietly simmering over the stunt he pulled this morning. [URL="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS"]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_207.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm414CPUS)When my mom got back from Florida the 1st of March, she took all 4 kids out and bought them Gameboys. Well I dont let them take them to school but they try anyway so I have them put them on the bar every morning. Well this morning right before the bus opulled up he ran back to his room (for what I dont know) and when I hollered that the bus was here, he ran through the kitchen and snatched his off the bar with out me seeing. I didnt notice until they were gone. He tried to pull a similiar stunt yesterday only I had time to bust him on it.:realmad: Well when I get home HIS PRECIOUS F***ING GAMEBOY is being taking away from him for a week to start with.
Oh...and BTW I could just :chair:my mother for even buying the :censored: things!!!!!





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb068&pp=ZNxdm414CPUS (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb068_ZNxdm414CPUS)

[Kacie_bride]

Oh Carrie I am so sorry. You don't deserve to be treated this way. If you can't get the cake from the baker do you know of anyone who bake's fairly well? It might not be the cake of your dreams, but it can still be a nice cake. They sell the pans and all that stuff to prop it up with at Wal-Mart. To cut down on cost Justin knows someone who is baking ours. He is not a professional, but his work is really good. I can't tell the difference. All we have to pay for is materials. Maybe you know someone like this.

[CarlosHoney]

Oh, we're still going to have the cake. I don't give a ****, I'm going to have that cake. It's the only thing that I REALLY wanted, and the only thing that I was willing to pay full price for.

We're going to make it horderves and lots of sweets.. Carlo's Mom will make the cheesecakes for his grooms cake, and we'll probably end up spending about $300 on catered food.

Wow, Cindy.. That's pretty bad. My Step-Siblings have the same thing. Gameboys have to stay on the kitchen bar when they go to school.

He's gonna get it, huh? ;) Just remember, you were a kid once too.

[CindySue]

Wow, Cindy.. That's pretty bad. My Step-Siblings have the same thing. Gameboys have to stay on the kitchen bar when they go to school.

He's gonna get it, huh? ;) Just remember, you were a kid once too.
Well...he knows hes in trouble.;) This morning before I left I had the 3 remaining ones lined up next to a "drawing" of one with the caption "Derek's Gameboy" He called me when he got home and asked me how much trouble he was in. I told him we would talk about it when I get home. I called back a little while later and talked to my daughter. I asked what D was doing and she said cleaning. :bblol: Maybe I wont have very much to do tonight!!!

[Kacie_bride]

Well...he knows hes in trouble.;) This morning before I left I had the 3 remaining ones lined up next to a "drawing" of one with the caption "Derek's Gameboy" He called me when he got home and asked me how much trouble he was in. I told him we would talk about it when I get home. I called back a little while later and talked to my daughter. I asked what D was doing and she said cleaning. :bblol: Maybe I wont have very much to do tonight!!!


I used to start cleaning things when I was going to get in trouble too. I hoped my mom would over look that I had done something wrong and be happy that I cleaned. It never worked for me! Then when I would clean out of the blue she would automatically think I did something wrong!

[CarlosHoney]

Well, I told my friend Amy what happened. She would have been in the wedding if she could make it here from Arkansas.. She said that she's going to have extra money left from her Financial Aid after the semester, and she's going to pay for the cake!

:bbeek:

I told her that it was very sweet, but she didn't have to do that. She insisted. She said that it made her want to cry to think that we were going to have a hard time paying for things, and that for me to consider it my wedding present.

Aww!!!! :wub: How sweet!!!

[ikkin510]

That is so nice of her. Aren't friends great? I'm glad your going to have your cake and still can have the little things like fans and such too.

[CarlosHoney]

Yeah, I was thinking about having a fake cake and serving sheet cake...

But, now I can have my cake and eat it too!! :bbmrgreen:

I'm SUCH a dork. :p

[blueeyedbride]

carlosHoney -we wouldn't want you any other way!!!!

[WebLady]

Glad to hear everything worked out for you with your cake. I know how you feel about your mom, if I were you I wouldn't let her back into your life. Even if she tries to apologize again, she will have limited access to your life.

Good luck with everything :hug:

[CarlosHoney]

That's the plan. She isn't allowed back in. I'm going to invite her to the wedding just because I'll probably regret it if I don't..

I just invision her saying something really mean spirited. Like, when we're getting ready, and I've got my dress on, and I'm standing there all excited. I can just see her saying "Suck in your gut!" :bbconfused:

[WhiskeyGirl]

I just invision her saying something really mean spirited. Like, when we're getting ready, and I've got my dress on, and I'm standing there all excited. I can just see her saying "Suck in your gut!" :bbconfused:

Sounds like my Grandmother!! She is always calling me fat to my face!! It really hurts but for some reason I still love her because thats the way she is! I think I need to give my head a shake, but then she won't be around much longer! Man I'm in a pickle! lol

Good for you, Carrie! You have every right not to include such a negetive person in the special parts of your day! And you are right, if she's not there, I think you will really regret it as well!!

[WebLady]

That's the plan. She isn't allowed back in. I'm going to invite her to the wedding just because I'll probably regret it if I don't..

I just invision her saying something really mean spirited. Like, when we're getting ready, and I've got my dress on, and I'm standing there all excited. I can just see her saying "Suck in your gut!" :bbconfused:

Yeah I know people like that ... hopefully she will be nice at the wedding.

BTW, your Lavender Nuptials link doesn't work, it just links back to OneWed.

[MOB Karen]

Carrie, I also had a mother like yours. Always, always told her girls how fat they were. My mother had conditional love. But, even after saying that, I hope you reconsider kicking her out of your life for good; because, speaking from experience, you will miss her when she's gone.

[CarlosHoney]

Well, I found out why she didn't help. She felt that us getting our tax return was enough.. Nevermind the fact that we were planning on gettng a CAR instead of paying for everything. My Dad, Carlo's Family, etc.. They all say that we need to hang onto that money. The wedding should be on them.

So, I'm going to invite her on certain condidions. She's not allowed to say anything to me that is mean in the least. She has to be quiet. She isn't allowed to embarras me. I'm just saying, it's MY DAY, and I won't have her ruin it!

[CindySue]

Carrie, I dont blame ya. You know her well enough to know what she might pull. But telling her she cant to this and/or that isnt neccessarily going to keep her from doing it so be prepared.

[CarlosHoney]

That's true, but if I outline it beforehand, and she does it anyway, she can leave!;)

[WebLady]

I had to tell my mom a few things like that after our big fight before my wedding. She still made a few comments but I just ignored them. The thing that bugs me most about her is when she will say something and then ask 'Was that ok to say' :bbrolleyes: that is just as bad as being mean, it just gets on my nerves.

Anyway, good luck with everything :hug: