Lostitonce
06-04-2008, 07:24 PM
So this will be the third marriage for both of us, but right off the bat I'm making mistakes. My first wedding my ex's aunt took over, I got to choose a dress from Goodwill and show up for the vows and that was about the extent of my involvment. I wasn't even allowed to have punch at our reception because I was 18, and there was alchohol in it. The second, we just went to the JOP. So I'm pretty clueless about the whole planning thing. We chose a date a scant four months from his proposal (a month ago) and now I see why people have longer engagements. As for him, he said he was pushed aside in both his previous weddings, didn't get to decide anything and wanted to be involved. So we agreed we would plan it all together, with the exception of my dress (he doesn't get to see it before the wedding!) but he did help plan the budget for that, too. I was pretty excited. I started doing research online, we have a tight budget with such a short time to pay for everything, I wanted to find ideas we could afford that we could look over together and decide what we wanted. And Groomzilla emerged. He's tried to take over everything, even getting mad at me for looking at stuff online "without him" while he's at work! I wanted a smaller, intimate wedding, maybe 30 people or so - (I get anxiety around large groups of people and yess he knows this) he wants a big extravagant affair that we cannot possibly afford in three months. We settled the guest list, already at 50 people - and he's coming up with "good friends" he hasn't spoken with in two years or more that I've never met, that he wants to invite. Although 3/4ths of the guest list is already his friends and family, he says I'm being unfair if I say no. He'll pick somthing out - and if I say ok, that's nice but lets look at more ideas first before deciding, then I'm "not letting him have any input". You get the idea. Anyway - I unloaded all my stress on my therepist (he was there too) even revealing that the stress is great enough that I've almost called off the wedding. He was near tears, says he just wants to show me off to the world, and give me a better wedding than any of his exes, not just an "ok" wedding. It's nice to know the plans I was deleriously happy about, are just "ok" to him. :sob: And since then he is almost completely withdrawn from helping at all. ARGH!!!!!! What am I supposed to do?! Besides pull my hair out?