bestfriends are always there for you BS

[Jacobs_Girl]

You know the saying guys will come and go but bestfriends will always be there for you? BS!

Ever since I started planning NONE of my BM's or MOH have been very helpful. The only one person that even attempted anything is Jacob.

Today my MOH bailed an hour before she was going to come over, for my final fitting for my wedding dress and go to look at the chair covers.

She said she had a flat tire and it was have severe thunder storms over her way. I looked at the forcast and it was SUNNY all day! No storms at all and shes only 30 minutes away from me. I checked the forcast online and nothing on her side of town.

My Matron bailed on the whole wedding! She claimed that her husband booked a cruise for them that weekend! I am glad thats more important to her than our friendship.

Then when I made a trip to NY to see one of my bridesmaids to go dress shopping she bails on me to work overtime! Its 3 months away and she still has no dress.

Everyone had enough notice to let me know if they can or cant.

I am about to just say OK NO BRIDESMAIDS AND NO MAID OF HONOR!

they can just attend as guest.

[MrsFuchs09]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I was supposed to have 6 bridesmaids and 1 MOH, but then I overlooked it and realized three of those girls wouldn't help with anything because they're overdramatic and always so catty. But I'm only 17, going to be 18 when I say I do, so keep that in mind.

What I would do is tell them all, in an email or call them (because planning a day where all of you girls get together would be another added stress since they can't even come for a dress fitting or whatnot.) and tell them that you need them to be here for you. You need them to help, remind them of the date, and say you're very disappointed that they're not taking this seriously. Also say being the bride is stressful enough and it'd be really nice if they could do something.

[L.J.Aguirre]

that is definetly NOT how a bm should act. when i was a bm for my sister's wedding, i was there for the bridal shower. infact all of us hosted the bridal shower. we even got our desses done in a timely manner (like 4 months early!!!) we made it as simple and stress free for the bride as possible because having a wedding is very stressful so we understood. if your bms cant understand that then maybe they should be replaced?

[RosieAngel]

OMG, that's horrible! As a veteran bridesmaid who doesn't suck, I would boot them from the wedding too! :irked:

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am sorry that your girls are flakes.

I have seen plenty of older relative's wedding photos - a good number of the friends that the couple chose to be in the wedding party, are no longer close to the couple at all.

Do you or FH have any sisters or female cousins? Blood as they say, is thicker than water and besides, these women will always be a part of your new family.

[NowAShelton]

i completely understand! only one of my bms is actually taking charge because she found out how the other girls were acting. the sad thing is that almost all of them wanted to be my moh and thats why i dont have one!! i wanted to be fair to all of them because they all seemed so eager to help me......so far......one girl has really helped me AND SHES NOT EVEN IN MY BRIDAL PARTY!!! so i feel your...anger:irked:

[Jacobs_Girl]

I am sorry that your girls are flakes.

I have seen plenty of older relative's wedding photos - a good number of the friends that the couple chose to be in the wedding party, are no longer close to the couple at all.

Do you or FH have any sisters or female cousins? Blood as they say, is thicker than water and besides, these women will always be a part of your new family.

thanks everyone now I don't feel so alone!

He's the only child so his sister is out of the question. lol

All his female cousins are in Czech, my cousins well I rarely speak to and the one cousin I was close to is getting married 2 weeks before I am, not to mention shes real stuck up and probably wont help much. The one only other girl I know is one of my moms friends daughter who I use to play with when I was little. But I haven't spoken to her in like 13 years.

To me it was cool with me that they all bailed at the last minute but to lie to me to my face is messed up. Maybe I could have a male maid of honor lol like the movie

[SerendipityCrafts]

To me it was cool with me that they all bailed at the last minute but to lie to me to my face is messed up. Maybe I could have a male maid of honor lol like the movie

Why not?! Are you close to any of FH's friends? Or .... what about your Mom? I have heard of some bride's having their Mom as their matron of honour. I think that would be super special :)

[Jacobs_Girl]

its so close to the wedding though to ask anyone else :-/

my mom would think its weird that she is the MOH she is real traditional, you should have 2 BM and 1 MOH type of mom.

I made a list of pros and cons what do you guys think I should do?
ok I have 1 MOH and 2 BM's

First lets start off with my MOH who can be bumped to BM

Pros:
She at least has her dress
Did go with me to pick out the dress

Cons:
No Shoes
Hasn't paid me back for her room
Hasn't booked air travel (she's going to wait until the last minute and watch it sky rocket to $600, Now its only $200)
Didn't plan bridal shower
didn't plan bachorette party
I asked to help me think of decorations ideas for the wedding she hasn't given me any ideas
Always claims broke, but yet she can go out to dinner everyday of the week with different friends. (how do I know? 1. myspace - people always leaving comments about thanks for dinner 2. when I call her she is like I am meeting blah blah for dinner 3. local forum we both post on - her pics or posts of nice seeing you guys there)
When she is depressed she always comes to me and when she is not she is MIA, like I am her therapist.

BM # 1 my brothers girlfriend
Pro:
Has her dress

Con:
Has no shoes
Didnt plan bridal shower
didnt plan bachorette party
has no input

BM # 2 My old friend from 10 years ago

Con: has nothing and has done nothing and has no input

[Jenna5366]

OMG I totally know how you feel. None of them have flat out lied to me (that I know of) but there are only two that show the slightest interest – my sister, matron of honor, and one BM, who was a last minute choice. :bbredface: I have three other BM’s… and my “best friend”, who was my first pick as a BM, seems to be interested in hearing my ideas WHEN IT SUITS HER, offers all this help, but never follows through. :( I am so glad I have my sister… I would go nuts without her. :D

[snowflakebride]

When she is depressed she always comes to me and when she is not she is MIA, like I am her therapist.

I feel ya 100% on this one.

Maybe for her you should sit down and talk with her. From this alone, I would say it's time for you to evaluate your friendship as well as the position in the wedding. Keep in mind that demoting her to maid of honor or firing any of the bridesmaids could very well end these friendships, but if you're willing to handle that then by all means do what you think is best.

[Jacobs_Girl]

I feel ya 100% on this one.

Maybe for her you should sit down and talk with her. From this alone, I would say it's time for you to evaluate your friendship as well as the position in the wedding. Keep in mind that demoting her to maid of honor or firing any of the bridesmaids could very well end these friendships, but if you're willing to handle that then by all means do what you think is best.

It's not like if we stopped talking that anything would change, except we wont go to dinner about once a month, IF that. I think if it wasnt for the wedding we wouldn't talk at all. It all started as a trio friendship, then one girl wigged out so we had something to talk about. After that was over we didnt say much to each other and both has different interest.

I think the only reason I made her my MOH was because she is my only girl / friend at all. Its really hard to make friends in a city you didn't grow up in. Before I met Jacob I had a lot of girlfriends but they always partied and we lost interest and lost touch.