LaceyinPgh
03-18-2006, 03:21 PM
Ok, I just had the world's biggest fight with my mother. It was a good day today too. My shower invitations need to be out on Saturday, March 25. So my fsil who is designing them is going to drop them off to me Monday evening after work. That leaves Tuesday through Firday to get them done. So I called my mom and just told her that since the invites were going to be here along with the guest list, I would just address them and mail them out. There are 60 going out so literally there is an hour of work one evening. Heck, if I played my cards right I could get the two girls in my advance placement foreign policy class to do it for me. Anyway she flips out. Apparently she HAS to address the invitations. They HAVE to be in her handwiring. They have to be personalized in that manner. It MUST be done that way. Here is the deal though. I work 8 hours a day plus I usually stay after for activites and tutoring. Then I have a 30-45 minute commute home. She lives an hour away from where I work. So that means that I would have to add an addtional hour onto my day to drive the invitations to her house and then an hour in the opposite direction to drive home that evening. My mother will not drive to my house at all because she has to drive in town and that terrifies her. To top that off I don't always trust her 100% to do what she says. She will say that she mailed them on March 25 but they might not actually make it to the post office until the middle of April because she never got around to it. I don't feel well today so I just told her that I would call her back later. Then i called my grandmother to see if any of the argument that we had made sense. You see, I don't speak "crazy" fluently so sometimes I need a translator. My grandmother is VERY fluent in "crazy"
So about 20 minutes ago my mother calls me back. Because the phrase, "My head hurts. I am going to lie down." means "Please call with the left over migraine that I have nothing could be more pleasing than having the phone screech in my ear.". I told you sometimes I don't know what I am saying because I don't speak "crazy" Anyway she informs me she has to do the invitaitons. There is no reason that I should worry about taking them to her my dad can just drop them off. (Umm hello, my dad doesn't live here. He lives in the same town taht you live in. So that means HE would have to drive the two hours to do this task. And, I know that he wants as little contact with you as possible.) I tell her that won't work because that isn't fair to him. No one I have spoken with sees the reason that paper should be chauffered around the tri state area all afternoon so she can write on it. There is no reason that I can't send the invites through my printer then stuff them one evening. This isn't rocket science, it's ****ing stationery!!! Well that sends her into psycho mode because I swore. She can swear like a sailor and she doesn't care when I swear unless it is at her. (Sorry sister you can't have it all. You piss me off you get swore at. Life sucks!) She starts screaming at me about how I am an ungrateful *****. She is sick of everyone having to play the wedding game my way. And besides she is doing me a FAVOR by informing me when and where my shower is going to be. According to etiquette I am not even supposed to know let alone be invovled. Tragically it is at this point that I lfell back on all my great argumentation, debate, and hard *** training that I have had in my educaiton. I lost my mind (or at least what was left there of it). I surpassed bridezilla stage. I'm not even sure where I ended up.
First, I informed her that yes everyone was to kiss my *** while planning my wedding. I am shelling out obscene amounts of money to make my day as perfect as I can master it. I was raised that perfection wasn't good enough. So it is just an old habit to make things as perfect as I can. I haven't achieved what I have in life by doing a half *** job. I see no reason to start now. I told her that if she didn't want a spoiled ***** of a daughter then she shouldn't have raised one. But you reap what you sow. So now that I am old enough to fight back and not care what she thinks she has lost the little control over things. She can't stand it. It was fun and cute when I played her games but now that I don't care what she thinks it isn't fun to deal with my attitude and personality anymore. Tough! Then I told her that she didn't do me a favor by informing me of when my shower was going to be. She was insuring that I showed up. Let's face it, I am not the goddess of unlimited free time. I am busy. I like it that way. By the way, if I wasn't invovled with my shower not a **** thing would have been done. It was me taht had to take an entire day to drive her around to every suitable venue in the area because she doens't like to drive and isn't good at negotiating with vendors. Since she doesn't have a credit card it was me that paid the deposit (which I was NEVER paid bac - it was only $100 so no biggie, but still). Since she can't be bothered to be concerned about what foods I will or won't eat, she made me call and handle the menu with the caterer. She doesn't like my fmil or ANY of my bridesmaids so she makes me handle all the chattter back and forth with them. When she didn't like their idea for a favor it was me that had to email them and tell them what she wanted. Then it was me who gave her the creidt card again to order what she wanted. And oh, by the way, it is me that has to put everything together because she doens't trust my bm's to do it nicely because according to her, the majority of them have bad taste and style and hence can't be trusted. So I informed her that it wasn't for me being invovled I woulnd't be having a God **** shower. I wish I didn't have to be invovled. Really being involved is causing a **** load of work for me that I don't need burdened with. And to top it off, since I am invovled once again teh perfectionist kicks in and I just can't half *** the job since I view it as a reflection on me. Of course she starts ranting about etiqutte again. So I told her, "If you want to pull the etiquette book out of your *** woman, you shouldn't be invovled in the **** shower anyway." Then she got really mad and said I wasn't allowed to talk to her like that. She is my mother and if she wants to throw me a shower she will. That is great and all but I seem to be throwing myself the shower here people. I told her I dind't give a **** who she was. The only thing that at this moment made her different from anyone else on earth was the fact that I resided in one of her internal organs for 40 weeks. She didn't have the right to bother me. She dind't have the right to hassel me. She didn't have the right to get on my nerves. And she sure as hell didn't have the right to make ME feel bad for all the work that I was doing. If she didn't want me invovled and in control she should have never let me take the wheel. I also told her that if I ever had to say something like that to her again our relationship wouldn't recover and the only thing she would be doing would be getting demoted to guest status. Let her expalin that to people. At this point she hung up on me
I am so pissed at her right now. On a lighter note though, my dad called and laughed at me. According to him he put up with her for 20 years. I have a long way to go.
So about 20 minutes ago my mother calls me back. Because the phrase, "My head hurts. I am going to lie down." means "Please call with the left over migraine that I have nothing could be more pleasing than having the phone screech in my ear.". I told you sometimes I don't know what I am saying because I don't speak "crazy" Anyway she informs me she has to do the invitaitons. There is no reason that I should worry about taking them to her my dad can just drop them off. (Umm hello, my dad doesn't live here. He lives in the same town taht you live in. So that means HE would have to drive the two hours to do this task. And, I know that he wants as little contact with you as possible.) I tell her that won't work because that isn't fair to him. No one I have spoken with sees the reason that paper should be chauffered around the tri state area all afternoon so she can write on it. There is no reason that I can't send the invites through my printer then stuff them one evening. This isn't rocket science, it's ****ing stationery!!! Well that sends her into psycho mode because I swore. She can swear like a sailor and she doesn't care when I swear unless it is at her. (Sorry sister you can't have it all. You piss me off you get swore at. Life sucks!) She starts screaming at me about how I am an ungrateful *****. She is sick of everyone having to play the wedding game my way. And besides she is doing me a FAVOR by informing me when and where my shower is going to be. According to etiquette I am not even supposed to know let alone be invovled. Tragically it is at this point that I lfell back on all my great argumentation, debate, and hard *** training that I have had in my educaiton. I lost my mind (or at least what was left there of it). I surpassed bridezilla stage. I'm not even sure where I ended up.
First, I informed her that yes everyone was to kiss my *** while planning my wedding. I am shelling out obscene amounts of money to make my day as perfect as I can master it. I was raised that perfection wasn't good enough. So it is just an old habit to make things as perfect as I can. I haven't achieved what I have in life by doing a half *** job. I see no reason to start now. I told her that if she didn't want a spoiled ***** of a daughter then she shouldn't have raised one. But you reap what you sow. So now that I am old enough to fight back and not care what she thinks she has lost the little control over things. She can't stand it. It was fun and cute when I played her games but now that I don't care what she thinks it isn't fun to deal with my attitude and personality anymore. Tough! Then I told her that she didn't do me a favor by informing me of when my shower was going to be. She was insuring that I showed up. Let's face it, I am not the goddess of unlimited free time. I am busy. I like it that way. By the way, if I wasn't invovled with my shower not a **** thing would have been done. It was me taht had to take an entire day to drive her around to every suitable venue in the area because she doens't like to drive and isn't good at negotiating with vendors. Since she doesn't have a credit card it was me that paid the deposit (which I was NEVER paid bac - it was only $100 so no biggie, but still). Since she can't be bothered to be concerned about what foods I will or won't eat, she made me call and handle the menu with the caterer. She doesn't like my fmil or ANY of my bridesmaids so she makes me handle all the chattter back and forth with them. When she didn't like their idea for a favor it was me that had to email them and tell them what she wanted. Then it was me who gave her the creidt card again to order what she wanted. And oh, by the way, it is me that has to put everything together because she doens't trust my bm's to do it nicely because according to her, the majority of them have bad taste and style and hence can't be trusted. So I informed her that it wasn't for me being invovled I woulnd't be having a God **** shower. I wish I didn't have to be invovled. Really being involved is causing a **** load of work for me that I don't need burdened with. And to top it off, since I am invovled once again teh perfectionist kicks in and I just can't half *** the job since I view it as a reflection on me. Of course she starts ranting about etiqutte again. So I told her, "If you want to pull the etiquette book out of your *** woman, you shouldn't be invovled in the **** shower anyway." Then she got really mad and said I wasn't allowed to talk to her like that. She is my mother and if she wants to throw me a shower she will. That is great and all but I seem to be throwing myself the shower here people. I told her I dind't give a **** who she was. The only thing that at this moment made her different from anyone else on earth was the fact that I resided in one of her internal organs for 40 weeks. She didn't have the right to bother me. She dind't have the right to hassel me. She didn't have the right to get on my nerves. And she sure as hell didn't have the right to make ME feel bad for all the work that I was doing. If she didn't want me invovled and in control she should have never let me take the wheel. I also told her that if I ever had to say something like that to her again our relationship wouldn't recover and the only thing she would be doing would be getting demoted to guest status. Let her expalin that to people. At this point she hung up on me
I am so pissed at her right now. On a lighter note though, my dad called and laughed at me. According to him he put up with her for 20 years. I have a long way to go.