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View Full Version : My Nervous Breakdown - long


Jenn060306
03-17-2006, 09:44 AM
Last night i lost it. I lost complete control and just started bawling my eyes out. It started with me asking Mark if he got an answer from his boss on what premarital course we are going to be able to go to. See... it's complicated. (even though i don't think it should be as complicated as they are making it out to be) Anyways, There is a 3 day course at St.Elizabeth Seaton the evenings of March 30th, 31st, and all day April 1st. This is not the church we are getting married at but its a condensed course that we can attend. But the church we are getting married at has a 6 week course every thursday night starting on April 20th ending one week before we get married.
I figured it would be easier for mark to take only 2 nights off work and switch weekends with his BiL. But his boss is trying to figure out what is best for Mark and I and for the Music store. Thursdays are the toughest night for Mark to not work because that's the night most of his specail needs students are in. Plus to have someone eles cover the lesson will cost the store more money. And to have Mark gone for 3 days in a row is tough apparently. But his boss knows the preist at the church we are getting married at really well and feels that we would get alot more out of going to that session insted. So i asked him to ask about getting the time off back in Feburary. And he couldn't get one because his boss needed to think it out. Fine, i've been asking usually once a week and getting the same :censored: answer for about 6 weeks now.
This past weekend Mark said he would have an answer for me on Tuesday. Well.... Tuesday i forgot about it, so i asked him last night. Well.... there is still no answer which is pissing me off to no end. I keep thinking How difficult is it to make up your mind? Like i really like his boss, and i consider him and his family to be very close to us. But like lets get real here! I have had to turn down oppertunities because i wasn't sure if i would have to attend a marriage prep course or not. And i am getting sick and tired of not knowing if i can make plans anymore. We started arguing about it and i just got so fed up that i said forget it. I don't care about the wedding i only care about marrying Mark. If we can't get this together we can't get married in the catholic church. I would be just as happy going to city hall and getting married there. Because all i want is to be married to him. Anyways, i was trying to tell him this and he lost it and started inturupting me and not letting me explain why i said i don't want to have a wedding anymore. We finally worked it out, but at that point i just broke down. I started to cry so hard i couldn't catch my breath and started panicing.
I hit my breaking point. I could not handle doing so much for this wedding on my own anymore. I am stressed about school, not knowing what is going to happen to my year. Am i going to graduate with a crummy education that employers are going to look down on. I'm worried because we have to move and i have no idea where that is going to be when that is going to be and how that is going to play into making up the lost time because of the strike. I'm worried because i think i am going to loose time in May when i need it the most to do the final things for the wedding. I am tired of Mark saying he will take care of things and not doing it. I don't know how to get him to do anything. Although he did seem to realize how stressed out i was about everything last night and asked how he can help. I told him i need to know what's going on with the marrige prep so i can figure out my plans for the next 3 months. And figure out what is happening with the tuxes and get the guys all fitted and everything ordered. My wedding is the middle of flippin prom season so everything is going to be ridiculously busy! Transportation we haven't figured out. ARGH! He promises me we will go look at tuxes on Monday afternoon.
But oh my god i just cried, i cried even after all was well and me curled up and went to bed. I couldn't handle it. I finally had to break down and take some of my medication for my panic attacks that knocks me out so i could relax enough to get to sleep. But this morning i feel so frickin tired. And still crummy about being so lost.
At this point i don't know where to start. Should i make a new list of things for Mark to do things for me to do things we need to do together. I don't know. Honestly i just want to crawl back into bed and pretend the world doesent even exist anymore. Honest to god i wish it was July. Everything would be done we'd be married and all moved into our new house and hopefully i would have a job. If not that is the only thing i would have to worry about. Why can't this all be over?!

Sorry about my vent here. I am just at the end of my rope and i needed to get that off my chest and i know right now none of my BM's are available to talk this through with me and my mom is in Vegas and Mark's already heard it.

Valmai
03-17-2006, 10:22 AM
Aww Jenn im sorry ur going thru this rite now and that all your worries are actually down to other people. Unfortunately guys just dont seem to like gerrin anythign done with plenty of time to spare, they also dont realise that we have other things to plan etc as well. One of these things on their own probably wouldnt have affected you so badly but 'cos of the constant worry bout ur degree etc then it's probably lall mounted up. We are all here for you to vent all you want - its often easier to talk to people who have never actually met face to face as well. Thinking of you and hope u'll feel better as the day goes on xxxx

Kacie_bride
03-17-2006, 10:35 AM
I'm sure it will all work out. If all else fails you could still have a religous wedding just not a Catholic wedding. It seems that a Catholic wedding is important to somebody in the picture though. Hopefully he will get this situated with his boss and figure it out.

And about the school stuff. I understand. I am worried about mine own future as well. I am graduating in December and it worries the heck out of me too. What I really want to do I really need a masters and I don't have the time or money to go to grad school.. So I am going to have to settle for something else and I don't know what I want to do or if I'll find a job. So good luck on that. Have you started applying anywhere yet and do you have your resume together? Our school has a career services department and they do some on campus interviewing and they will look over your resume. Does yours have anything of the sort that may be useful for you? If it does you should defiantely check it out.

brewsells
03-17-2006, 10:42 AM
Jenn,
I'm so sorry you have all of this coming down on you right now. I really hope you are able to get things all worked out for the course. Just remember, things will be fine. However they end up, they will be fine.

Keep you chin up and have a better day. And remember.... :D

WhiskeyGirl
03-17-2006, 11:40 AM
Jen

This is what I say, if you know his boss and he isn't giving Mark answers...call the boss yourself!! You need these answers for your own state of mind and mental health!! As far as school, there is nothing you can do about it but try your best and try not to freak out too much!! Send those men out and get them fitted for tuxes! Call around and get some quotes on limos (if thats what you're doing) and book one without Mark! If he can't help you, its time you start making decisions for the both of you!!! Take a deep breath, and try to relax! I know how hard it is to plan a wedding! Good luck and remember we are all here for you girl!!

Shawna

CindySue
03-17-2006, 11:48 AM
Jenn.....:hug: Im sorry your going through all this. BUT IT WILL GET BETTER. I agree that you should call the boss or somehow talk to him yourself. If it makes you feel better, I threw a fit last night and started shredding invitations. :bbredface:

Jenn060306
03-17-2006, 11:57 AM
Thank you. :)

I really appreciate having you girls here to talk to.
I'm hoping that Mark has realized how much trouble i am having lately. I know it sounds lame considering i don't have classes or anything right now. But the whole situtation is stressing me out beyond belife. We are going to sit down and talk to his boss on Saturday about the Music for the Ceramony so i need to have an answer then. It is very important for Mar to have a catholic wedding. We're not doing a mass or anything, but to be married there.
I think i just need to take a couple days off and create an action plan. The faculty and management arn't even talking. So I don't think there will be a settlement anytime soon. :realmad:

Jenn060306
03-17-2006, 12:00 PM
Jenn.....:hug: Im sorry your going through all this. BUT IT WILL GET BETTER. I agree that you should call the boss or somehow talk to him yourself. If it makes you feel better, I threw a fit last night and started shredding invitations. :bbredface:
oh wow. I'm sorry that you got so upset! I wasn't anywhere near my invitations. Otherwise i probaly would have thrown the bag of them out. Hopefully you didn't loose to many invitations.

CindySue
03-17-2006, 12:06 PM
oh wow. I'm sorry that you got so upset! I wasn't anywhere near my invitations. Otherwise i probaly would have thrown the bag of them out. Hopefully you didn't loose to many invitations.
I only had about 20 of them done anyway, but no I didnt lose many. I was griping about all the stuff we still have to do to the house before we can have our reception there and he mouthed off "well I guess we can always postpone the wedding." I exploded. I really think I had smoke coming out of my ears. Its just stress I know and everything is ok now.
I can see why you would be totally stressed out. Youve got sooo many things going on right now. If it was me, id be on meds.

StaceyMc
03-17-2006, 12:15 PM
If the Catholic Wedding is important to Mark, then tell him "Look, us getting married in the catholic church is important to you, so you need to take some responsibility and get this taken care of! If not, we will be married somewhere else." And leave it at that.

As far as the limos, I'd just call and get the figures myself. But the tuxes, that's his responsibility as well. Tell him that if he's walking down the aisle in his underpants, it's his problem, not yours.

CarlosHoney
03-17-2006, 12:15 PM
Sww, sweetie! It seems like today is our day. 78 days to go, and we're ready to just day "Do it already!"

You need mre help, and he needs to tell his boss to give him a definitive. I agree with calling his boss. Just explain that you guys need to do this course, and you really need to know. You've got priorities too. Your career is important too.

I hope you feel better. I do! Go shopping honey. :bbmrgreen:

Jenn060306
03-17-2006, 12:27 PM
Sww, sweetie! It seems like today is our day. 78 days to go, and we're ready to just day "Do it already!"

You need mre help, and he needs to tell his boss to give him a definitive. I agree with calling his boss. Just explain that you guys need to do this course, and you really need to know. You've got priorities too. Your career is important too.

I hope you feel better. I do! Go shopping honey. :bbmrgreen:

Thanks.... 78 days eh?! LOL! Scarey almost! I am going to tell him on Saturday that i need an answer and it's unfair to not give us one because we have had to decline plans because we don't know what's going to be happening.
I am definatly going shopping today. I'm going to look for some stuff for the exchange! I am exsited! I don't evevn know where to start! But i have some ideas on things i love!

CindySue
03-17-2006, 01:02 PM
Something that USUALLY helps us is to mark it on the calendar. If theres something we need to do, i find out when Brian is available and I make plans for us to go do what needs to be done. We made a list and have set aside weekend-A to do this, this and this. Weekend-B to do that, that and that. Weekend-C....you get the picture. And we try our best to stick to it. Usually it works....but here lately weve had unexpected things come up that HAD to be handled so some of our "planned" stuff got pushed back.

WebLady
03-17-2006, 05:14 PM
Planning a wedding is hard and often quite stressful, especially with everything else going on in life. I think maybe you need to take a day to not talk about the wedding ... shopping is always good or treat yourself to lunch out and/or a movie ... with or without Marc. Then sit down and tell him what needs to be done and make a list. Make him give you a day he will work on things and write it on the calender. If the Catholic wedding is more for him than explain to him what needs to be done to make it happen. This kind of thing is usually very hard for men to think about, they need babysiting ;)

Good luck hun, it does get better :hug:

rainbowtreat
03-17-2006, 07:52 PM
I hope it all works out for you soon. I am sure it will. We all have these thigns that make us go crazy. Mine is havien to use moeny to get into a new apartment and I had to spend money on the cats to go to the vets for shots etc. And now more moeny to get them both fixed. we still owe $250 to the DJ and he still need to get a tux as well as my son. I still have to pay for mine and my daughters dresses to be altered. And not to mention the day of the wedding to get our hair done and stuff like that. So needless to say I am on a constant stress at the moment. Just as we get an apartmetn in the town we both work in it sounds like he may be shipped to work in a different town. The big thing about getting into the town was to cut back on the gas money. If he gets moved he will be spending just as much in gas but we will be paying more for the new apartment. He always says things are going to be fine and they will work out. But just hearing it does not help me. I need to see it done for me to be ok. DO what you have to to make sure that this gets resolved. This is a one time thing so I think his boss should understnad that. Hang in there it will get better.

Jenn060306
03-18-2006, 10:13 AM
I plan on sitting down with him either later this afternoon when we get home from our ceramony music meeting or tommorrow afternoon after mass to go over the list and update the calendar as to when we are going to do what.
Mark promised me we'd go look at tuxes etc. on Monday but he just found out yesterday that his dad booked a rental truck for Monday to move all the furniture out of his grandmothers house. So he's now going to do that. I think i am going to make him stop at Moores on Sunday to check out what they have for Tuxes and then book a date on the Calendar for us to do it.
I feel like it is a constant battle with his work schedule to get things done. It fustrates me beyond all beleif.