Little Secrets

[officiant-fica]

Do you keep little secrets from you FH or DH? I really don't. I really don't think about doing it. II figure why bother, it's only bound to create trouble later. So I was talking to my boss yesterday and she was telling me that she was bored on her vacation with her hubby because she really wanted to go to the bar. So I asked her why didn't they go and she comes out with this wopper how she pretends to not drink because her husband thinks drinking is wrong! I was kinda shocked because to me that's a pretty major thing. We sometimes get together after work for a few drinks and I guess she just tells her hubby she had to work late.

[WhiskeyGirl]

The only little secrets I keep from my DH are what he's getting for birthdays and Christmas! To him I am an open book!! I couldn't imagine not telling him anything! Its insane about your boss!! Isn't marriage supposed to be about honesty??

[usahgrad]

I have to agree with Shawna, the only thing I keep secret from him is something I'm getting for him that I want to be a surprise. And sometimes, I don't even entirely do that! I told him I was getting him something black and kind of see through for his wedding preseant (joke's on him...:) )

[WhiskeyGirl]

Yeah actually I am not very good with keeping what I get him for B-days or x-mas a secret very well either! Lol..I'm always like "oh i got you the best present!! Can I give it to you now??" lol...meanwhile his b-day is like a month away!! Ha ha!

[andysgirl07]

I am the exact same way! Last year for an early Christmas present, I bought Andrew an Xbox 360 around the middle of November (whenever they came out). I had to stand outside the store for about 3 hours and then come back with the voucher to actually get it. Then I had to give it to him like three days after I got it. I was way too excited to keep it from him that long, plus he was on vacation and actually got to use it! But, we don't keep secrets from each other, excluding presents or surprises.

[CindySue]

While I dont really keep secrets from Brian, I dont neccessarily tell him EVERYTHING. I dont tell him every detail of my day. I dont tell him every detail of my phone conversations. If it pertains to us or our realtionship, then of course I tell him about it. Now dont get me wrong - Im not KEEPING anything from him. If he asks, then I tell.
And there are things from my past he does know. Again...Im not keeping info from him.....he just hasnt asked. Weve talked about all the important stuff and if he wants to know ANYTHING, he knows all he has to do is ask.
BUT......there is a BIG difference between not telling your man everything and deliberately being deceitful.

[WebLady]

Yeah I don't think I have ever kept a secret from my DH. He knows all the good, bad and ugly about me. My past, my hopes and dreams ... we share everything about each other.

I have a hard time with the present thing too. I always want to surprise him with something but I usually end up just saying "Hey lets go get 'this' for your birthday" :bblol:

Sometimes I only half listen to him talk about work, does that count? I feel bad about that sometimes. I think I may have faked 'it' once or twice too :bbredface: but that doesn't happen very often and he can usually tell ;)

The girl that I know who got married this past weekend has a secret checking account :bbeek: What a way to start a marriage.

[CindySue]

The girl that I know who got married this past weekend has a secret checking account :bbeek: What a way to start a marriage.
See? Thats being deceitful.

[andysgirl07]

Don't worry Brandi! Sometimes when Andrew starts going on and on and on about work, I tune out a little too!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

The girl that I know who got married this past weekend has a secret checking account :bbeek: What a way to start a marriage.

What would you even need a secret chequing account for anyhow?? My Dh and I had the same bank account pretty well as soon as the ring was on my finger!! We even bought a brand new car together BEFORE we were even married!

[WebLady]

What would you even need a secret chequing account for anyhow?? My Dh and I had the same bank account pretty well as soon as the ring was on my finger!! We even bought a brand new car together BEFORE we were even married!

I guess she wants to have money he doesn't know about? They are young and have alot of problems to begin with. All I can say is I wish them well.

DH and I have separate accounts ... partly because I had a bad run with that in my 1st marriage and partly because we have just had them for so long it is like why change it. He has a general idea of what I have and I have a general idea what he has. Not that we are keeping it from each other, just that it doesn't matter. He pays most of the bills and I pay for groceries and such. If I need money I ask and he gives me whatever I need. In the unlikely event that he needs anything, I will give him whatever I have.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Yeah see even if I did have my own bank account, I'd have NOTHING in it!! Even when I was working I was flat broke! So I started giving him all my pay cheques and he put them in his account!! He is WAY better with money than I am!!!

[CarlosHoney]

There are small things, mainly things that don't matter at all. If I brought it up, it would only hurt his feelings, and there's no point. I don't keep anything from him that has happened in the last 3 years, though. Just things about past relationships. I've been with about ten times as many people as he has, and that messes with him. It's an ego thing, and I just don't want to twist the knife, if you know what I mean.

If he asks, though, I don't lie. I'm honest when he asks questions.. But there are just details of my past that he really doesn't need. :bbneutral:

[officiant-fica]

Joe pretty much knows EVERYTHING about my past and I his. We started out as friends because when we met we were both with other people so there was no reason to hold that kind of stuff back. We rarely discuss past relationships or partners. Plus because we were both in unhappy relationships trying to hide our feelings for each other when we finally did get together we promised that nothing is more important then being honest with each other. Now, with that said, if I spend $50.00 on some shoes, I'm only gonna tell him what I spen from our joint account.........LOL No need to know how much I spent from my own.

[CarlosHoney]

If I spent $50 on shoes without telling him.... OMG!!! He'd go BOOM!

[Kacie_bride]

Justin pretty much knows everything about my past. There was a lot going on in my life before we got together that he knew some about just because we live in a small town and things get around I guess. So I guess I had to explain myself and let him know the whole truth. You know how small towns are if you've ever lived in one. But now I tell him everything that matters. The only thing I try to keep from him is how much my parents may spend on something for the wedding. He thinks we are spending way to much and it's not even his money, it's their money! Actually he'd rather not know anyway.

[Jenn060306]

I telll Mark pretty much everything. With exception to the gifts for Birthdays and Christmas.
Sometimes it's hard because my mom will tell me somthing that she doesen't want Mark to know. So i have a hard time not telling him because usually it is somthing really tough. She tells him things that he is not supposed to tell me either which is tough because when i find out he knew it really hurts me. Like this past Christmas i found out that my mom had a mamogram that came back funny so they had to do a biopsey etc. It came back fine, but when she told me she had been going through all this for the past month and i didn't know and could be there to support her, it upset me. Then when i told Mark he told me he already knew. That just made everything feel 10 times worse. I was glad that she was ok. But just when it came to the possiblilty that she wasn't it bothered me.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I telll Mark pretty much everything. With exception to the gifts for Birthdays and Christmas.
Sometimes it's hard because my mom will tell me somthing that she doesen't want Mark to know. So i have a hard time not telling him because usually it is somthing really tough. She tells him things that he is not supposed to tell me either which is tough because when i find out he knew it really hurts me. Like this past Christmas i found out that my mom had a mamogram that came back funny so they had to do a biopsey etc. It came back fine, but when she told me she had been going through all this for the past month and i didn't know and could be there to support her, it upset me. Then when i told Mark he told me he already knew. That just made everything feel 10 times worse. I was glad that she was ok. But just when it came to the possiblilty that she wasn't it bothered me.

I always tell anyone who tells me something that I am not supposed to tell Matt... "You do know that there are NO secrets between my husband and I? If you tell me this and it pertains to him in some way I WILL tell him!!??" Its not that I am being a b1tch to that other person, its just that there are NO secrets between him and I!! We are in a partnership and I treat him in such a way! However, the only exception is when a girl-friend of mine tells me something that he DOESN'T need to know, that will go with me to my grave!!! :bbmrgreen:

[Jenn060306]

I always tell anyone who tells me something that I am not supposed to tell Matt... "You do know that there are NO secrets between my husband and I? If you tell me this and it pertains to him in some way I WILL tell him!!??" Its not that I am being a b1tch to that other person, its just that there are NO secrets between him and I!! We are in a partnership and I treat him in such a way! However, the only exception is when a girl-friend of mine tells me something that he DOESN'T need to know, that will go with me to my grave!!! :bbmrgreen:

My friends have said to me they know that i will tell Mark and they are ok with that. Many of my friends who would tell me a secret would tell Mark as well. We don't have many friends who arn't friends with both of us. And if there has been somthing that's come up that they don't want Mark to know about they won't tell me. I will tell people i don't want to know.
With my mom she says not to tell him after she's told me somthing, and i know he needs to know. If its somthing he doesen't need to know i wont. She understands that she can't expect me to keep somthing from my FH because she doesen't keep things from hers.

[dee177]

Ive told leighton a little lie about the cost of my wedding shoes. But I think he knows the real price anyway coz he owns a designer menswear shop and knows roughly how much designer stuff costs. I told him the cost £100 but they were really £315, Oh well im only gunna get married once!!

[Shawna Bride]

Sometimes I'm not 100% honest about my feelings about his mother. I mean, that fight we had the other day, I am not totally over it, and I still feel anger, resentment and sadness abouut it, but I don't waant to hurt him, so I keep it to myself. WIth the wedding only 3 weeks away, I don't need to be bad mouthing his mother to him. Maybe this is lying to him, but I can't hurt him. Maybe after the wedding I will confront her again, but until then, I will just let it be.

[LaceyinPgh]

Ok I tell Sean pretty much anything that pertains to him. If it doesn't pertain to him, isn't going to mean anything in our relationship, or just isn't his business, I don't tell him. When it comes to money, he makes A LOT more than I do on my little school teacher salary. We have a joint account and I have my own account. Whether or not he has another account that is his, I don't know. I have one so I can't say anything if he does. 99.999% of everything I spend comes out of the joint account or goes on the joint card that we have. I don't lie to him about how much I spend of what I buy. He can just pull up the account info for either and check it out. Plus the store charges come in the mail every month and he handles all the bills. So I couldn't hide it if I wanted to. Quite frankly he is the same way, if he wants something he just goes and gets it. We don't confer or discuss prices or anything like that. We know how much we have and how much we can spend. But to flat out lie about something or decieve, I don't think so. That isn't a stable foundation. If I have to lie about where I was, how much I spent, what I did, or anything like that, how does that reflect my true feelings about him?

[rainbowtreat]

I don't see any reason to lie to Nihcolas. I tell him every thign and I beleive he tells me every thing. If he is doing something or buying somethign for me is the only time he is sneaky. I have a hard time not telling him what I got him or not giving it to him early. I am just like my mom that way. I am just to excited about it to wait. But I am getting better. I had his valentines day gift for over a week. He had no idea what it was. He and I have been through alot over the last 3 yrs with and with out each other. We don't lie. We worked to hard to get to where we are to screw thigns up.

I have a friend who doens't always come right out with her husband. He was a bit controllignin the beginning but I think they have both worked through things. I remember her gettign her hair done for her prom ( they were livign together before she graduated high school ) and she asked me not to say anything about how much it cost her. When she bought her prom gown she bought it in the color she needed for my wedding, she wasin my first wedding, and he got mad about how much she spent even though it was going to be worn twice. As I have said they have worked through alot in the past few years and they are a much better couple now. But I will not ever let my marriage start or get like that. We are open and honest and I have never flet lke I couldn't tell him any thing. If he got mad becasue of how much I spent on something then I am sorry that is not a good start if you ask me. You have to trust each other and lieing is not a good way to keep a relationship together.