Gifts

[Kacie_bride]

I know on another post I vented about being mad at my roomie for not wanting to get his friends a wedding gift. Well even though I thought I wasn't going to be invited to the shower because I am not friends with the bride (I've met her twice) I was invited. I feel funny about going because I will not know many people. I am more associated with the grooms side. But even then I don't know many because the couple really is not social and I only see him once or twice a year. Anyway, I'm rambling. Here is my question. I am going to go to the shower and of course I'm bring at gift. So does that mean I need to bring a gift to the wedding as well. I do not know the proper etiquete for this.

[CindySue]

Ive always thought if you were invited to both, you took a gift to both.

[WhiskeyGirl]

You are not required to bring a gift to the wedding!! The only one you are really supposed to give is a shower gift!! (I know, weird huh?!) Most peope think that if they are invited to a wedding then you MUST bring a gift, but it is not a required thing! However if you don't bring a gift, be prepared for some akward moments when the bride or groom tries to figure out if you didn't!! They want to make sure they thank you if you did or they are trying to figure out if your gift went missing!! I was in that position! Thank god it was a friend of mine and I just came out and asked! She told me she couldn't afford it and I accepted that she being there was gift enough for me!!

So yeah, ettiquette does not dictate that you must give a gift!! Infact ettiquette also dictates that you should NOT include where you are registering for gifts and infact some older folks may take offense to it, thinking that you are fishing for gifts!! (how stupid I know!! And most people, myself included, include(d) them anyhow because who cares about ettiquette much anymore???)

Anyhow, hope that helps!!

[Kacie_bride]

I thought it was okay to put where you were registered on a shower invitation, but not the wedding invitation. Because everyone knows why you go to a shower!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I thought it was okay to put where you were registered on a shower invitation, but not the wedding invitation. Because everyone knows why you go to a shower!

I don't really know to be honest!! My shower invite was an announcement in the paper!! lol. We lived in a REALLY small town!! So yeah, I have no idea!! lol

[Kacie_bride]

Well like you said, who really cares all that much about ettiquete anymore. I'm not putting it on the wedding invitation, but I'm not having anything to do with my shower invites so I guess that is somone else's deal.

[Jenn060306]

I never really thought about it. I feel a little bad that all my friends and family will be buying us 2 gifts. So i am trying to let people know it is not required. Definatly the gift of having them be there is the best!

Maybe get somthing small and not very expensive for the shower. I think i would feel very strange going to the shower of someone i didn't know very well too.

[Kacie_bride]

I feel very strange about going as well. I didn't think I would get invited, but I did. My FH is a groomesmen in the their wedding. They have known eachother since kindergarden, but I met this girl once at a party when we were in high school and then two summers ago she went with her FH on this trip we go on every summer. Usually she does not go. She did not go last year or the year before. She really doesn't go to anything. So I know him well enough, but not her. She's really nice or at least she was when we went on the trip two years ago.

[StaceyMc]

You don't really HAVE to go to the shower if you think you'll be uncomfortable. RSVP and tell them that you are sorry, that you will not be able to attend and then send a card with a gift card to wherever they have registered. If you want to just send a small denomination, that's fine.