destination wedding conflict

[cwbjbr]

This may seem odd but it is the dilemma I am dealing with right now. We are getting married in St Johns next May, and were planning on going just the two of us for a quiet wedding/honeymoon. We are planning on having a reception with friends/family when we return. Everyone is fine with this except my sister, who is apparently mortally offended that she will not be at my wedding. Now I am second guessing myself. Is there something wrong or selfish about deciding to go by ourselves? Has anyone ever run into this problem?

[bichonlvr]

Do what YOU both want to do!!! Your sister will get over it!

Too bad...StJohnsBride is not on here anymore, they got married there about 6 months ago!

That should be super beautiful!!!

[cherryberry01]

No I don't think you are selfish at all. I am doing the same thing, me & my fella are going to Cancun just the two of us for our wedding/honeymoon in March 2009, then we have a reception party for when we get back. My Mother started to make a big deal of it as she wont be there but now she has warmed to the idea & we have agreed to have a blessing in her back garden next year in the summer. I think that she wanted to be a part of all the planning.

[Kfancii]

We are doing it this Saturday! Just my FH and I are going to Gatlinburg and will be getting married on the deck of our cabin overlooking the Smoky Mountains. We made sure our Mom's were both fine with it before we made the decision, and now everyone seems to be excited for us. Actually, they are more excited now that they don't have to make a trip next April like originally planned. We are also having a Reception Picnic in July where we will have all of our friends and family there to help us celebrate. I'm so amazed and how much less stress we are both having over this wedding. We are going to get what we want and I couldn't be happier! Good luck to you in your planning!

[lilmama3696]

i think you have an awesome idea!

[neebelung]

This may seem odd but it is the dilemma I am dealing with right now. We are getting married in St Johns next May, and were planning on going just the two of us for a quiet wedding/honeymoon. We are planning on having a reception with friends/family when we return. Everyone is fine with this except my sister, who is apparently mortally offended that she will not be at my wedding. Now I am second guessing myself. Is there something wrong or selfish about deciding to go by ourselves? Has anyone ever run into this problem?
It's your wedding; it's for YOU and your FH. If people cannot respect that it's your choice, and be happy for you, then they need to check themselves.

We're dealing with this same problem with my FMIL; we're doing the same thing - having a wedding moon (but just in Vegas) and then having a party a month later here in FL so all our friends and family can attend (family is INVITED to come to Vegas with us, but due to expense, travel, etc... they've chosen not to go).

So now my FMIL is trying to guilt my FH into changing our plans. His response? No. This is OUR day, and we're doing this for us, not to please everyone else. That's the bottom line.

Do what makes you happy, and what will make for a beautiful, memorable day that you'll always treasure.

[RosieAngel]

You're not being selfish, especially considering the fact that you are planning something nice for everyone afterwards! If anything, your sister is being selfish for not respecting your decision!

Don't feel bad, and enjoy your day!

[Hope75]

Bottom line is that the wedding is about you and your fiance, not anyone else, and you will never be able to please anyone.

I say go for it- there will be plenty of time to celebrate with loved ones when you get back.

One of my best friends got married just him and his wife in Turks and Caicos last October. I knew about it before hand and totally supported their decision. I'm sad I wasn't there, but I know this is how they wanted it, and seeing the pictures it was just like we were there.

Your sister will get over it!

[TripsDownTheAisle]

This is your wedding. You should never second guess yourself. A wedding is suppose to be the reflection of the love between the two of you. That is what I tell the bridal couples that I work with. It is your wedding, not your family, friends or me, and you should make it fit your voice. If your sister is not up with what you want to do, go take her out to lunch or coffee or something and talk with her. Tell her how much this would make you happy and how much you would love for her to understand this. Don't confront, calmly explain and if that does not happen then you must stay true to what you want.

Best wishes!
Lindsay

[The Wedding Shoppe]

When I planned my wedding, I planned it trying to make everyone around me happy including my grandparents, aunts, siblings, in-laws, etc. In the end, I had so many regrets - I wish I had done the destination wedding thing (which was the original plan) so I would strongly suggest that you do what you and your fiance want to do - it's your day and not your sister's. you only get married once (hopefully) and it should be perfect.

[BarceloMayaPalaceBride]

I am getting married in Mexico in January, and when we first announced the DW, people went a little crazy. Some began trying to invite themselves (assuming they were to be invited anyway) I had to knipp it in the butt early, and told people how important it was for us to just have family attend. It's completely up to you if you want it to just be the two of you. Make sure that's what you really want and then stick with your decision. You only get married once, so you want to make sure it's everything YOU want. :)

[Dani]

We were married at Lake Mead (our DW) and my sister and brother couldn;t make it due to expenses, I felt bad, but it was easier on our wallet to actually have a DW. :) Make sure that you are happy! That's what matters.