Daycare Problems...

[Nikita706]

I'm so frustrated!!! For months now, DF and I have been waiting to be enlisted in some program that will help pay for our child care. We've been paying over $800/month for Josiah to go to this lady who only watches him and one other kid (who is the lady's grandson). We've been trying to get into this program, and finally the lady calls today and tells me that with the amount DF and I make, they could cut our daycare costs in half. So, I'm really excited, right? Well, about 5 minutes later, the lady calls back and informs me that my daycare provider isn't licensed and is already getting subsidized for her the other kid that she watches and that she's technically not supposed to be watching more than 1 kid. So, low and behold, I'm going to have to switch daycare providers. I'm really upset because I really like this lady, and Josiah's been with her for almost a year now and really likes her, but I can't stomach knowing that I could have an extra $350 a month to pay bills (not to mention I have to drive about 10 minutes out of my way every day just to get to her house). I'm gonna have to find someone else. I just really don't want to. :purplex:

[bichonlvr]

That stinks...but your child comes first, but I guess if you need the $ to feed him, that helps him too! Can you look around and pick someone you really like before you switch! Ask around!
Good luck

[Nikita706]

That stinks...but your child comes first, but I guess if you need the $ to feed him, that helps him too! Can you look around and pick someone you really like before you switch! Ask around!
Good luck

Oh yeah, we'll definitely keep him with this lady until we find someone that we feel we can trust. We would never put him in a questionable situation just to save a few bucks.

And I've actually been thinking of trying to convince her to get her license. I think it costs about $200 a year (and anyone from Cali, please correct me if I'm wrong), so if she were willing to go through the licensing process, I would tell her to raise her price to $4 an hour (we're at $3.75 now). I would even be willing to pay the $200 out of pocket on top of the service rate increase (in case she has to get insurance). It would be worth it to me (I would still save $300 a month, and more importantly, have the peace of mind of knowing he's being well taken care of), and because what she is doing now is technically illegal, maybe she will be inclined to go through with it. Plus, she LOVES Josiah (my son). She always comments on how good he is and how 'she'd watch him for free if she had to', so I know she's emotionally attached to him. I think that it might be a win-win situation for everyone. We'll see though.

[WBandMe]

That would be great if you could convince her to get licensed. Good luck!

[Nikita706]

Okay, it's actually only $60 a year for her to get licensed. Even better.

[EarlyBird]

Ya i uld DEFINATLY offer to pay the 60, and this of it, she could definatly profit from it in the long run. :)

[bichonlvr]

But if she does that will she still get the extra money for her grandson???

[Nikita706]

So, I talked to her yesterday and I guess the main problem with her getting licensed is the home inspection. She'd tried to get licensed before, but they basically told her that she would have to keep the kids corralled in her living room. They aren't allowed to go outside because there are steps on her deck, the kitchen's off-limits, the dining room is dangerous because there are chairs to climb on, etc. etc. etc. Her house is pretty small, and it's a really open floor plan so you can see the kids from pretty much any angle in the house. She said she's going to call the child care program and figure out what's going on and see what she can do. It's just so frustrating. There's such a HUGE problem with our child care system. There just aren't enough daycare centers to accommodate every kid.

When I first started looking for child care, I went through the government hoops and only looked at places that were licensed. First of all, in our town of over 30,000 people, there was only 2 daycare centers that were accepting applications for infants, and when we checked them, they were horrible. The first one was run by a 60 year old lady who had 8 kids to look after. She didn't even know the kid's names. She told us all about how she leaves the oldest kid (an 8 year old) in charge of the other toddlers and infants when she has to other things around the house (like take a shower, do the dishes, etc.). Her house was cluttered and filthy. It was horrible. And the other place we checked out, the lady was just mean. So finally, I started my job and had to take my son to work with me, and thankfully one of my co-workers said he knew someone that could watch him, and that's who Josiah's been with ever since. It seems to me that it should be MY CHOICE as a parent who I will let my child stay with. Either one of the filthy government-run daycare centers, or a sweet lady who only watches Josiah and one other kid, who's house is spotless, who works with him on counting, reading and colors (he's 19 months old and the other night he was trying to count along with me! I didn't even know she'd been working with him!). I can understand a background check, but I think that I can trust my own judgment.

I HATE STUPID GOVERNMENT CHILDCARE REGULATIONS!!!

[Nikita706]

I'm so excited! My daycare lady called Changing Tides (the child care program) and explained that the other kid that was being subsidized was her grandson, so as long as it's just Josiah and her grandson, we qualify for the subsidy without her having to get a license!!! Finally we'll be able to save some money and pay off some bills!!!

Thank you guys for all of your support! I really appreciate you letting me vent!

[Kfancii]

Yay!! That is great news! So glad that it got worked out where Josiah can stay with his current provider!

[Nikita706]

Yay!! That is great news! So glad that it got worked out where Josiah can stay with his current provider!

Yeah, I was really worried about moving him. He LOVES his nanny, and she LOVES him, and she's really turned into more of a family friend. When I mentioned the whole situation with the child care program, she's like 'Don't even think about switching providers, I'm gonna give them a call tomorrow and get this straightened out. I love him so much, I wouldn't let you move him! lol' Thankfully, she really did get it all straightened out! She's so funny.

[PGDesigns]

That is awesome news! Congrats! I'm so glad everything worked out.

[Nikita706]

Okay, so this problem has reared it's ugly head again, only worse this time.

So, FH and I get all signed up for the aforementioned program, and all seems too good to be true...and then...we found out that our babysitter had raised her rates without telling us when we signed up for the program, so we're essentially paying almost as much as we were before. I'm so pissed. I confronted her about it and she offered to lower her rates from $5/hour to $4.22/hour, but that still seems outrageous when we were originally paying $3.75/hour. So, essentially, we just went through all of that paperwork and stress to get her a big, fat raise. I'm SO PISSED! We were counting on that money to help with wedding expenses, and now I honestly don't know where we're gonna come up with the remaining money. We'll still save money with the program, but only about half as much as we had originally thought.

To anyone else who has kids out there, how much do you pay for childcare? And how old is your child? My son will be 2 in October.

I hate child care, and I think I might opt to be a stay-at-home Mom/Student instead.

[ChibiAiChan]

I work in a child care and I am a teacher of two year olds =) It is not a home child care but college run. It's a learning school for the students as well as a great program from the children attending (infant-kindergarten). Our rate for out toddler room is (I *think*, I think it may have just recently raised) $250 a week. We provide 2 snacks and lunch as well. We are open 5 days a week from 7am-6pm. Does your provider provide food for your child? How much do you pay a week? Running a home child care is *very* expensive. Basically you don't make money working in this field, you do it because you love kids. If you think being a sahm is the best option for your son I think you should do it! And by all means... I am not saying she was right in not telling you first, but I do understand her need in raising her prices. I hope I made sense and didn't ramble!
BTW: if you do decide to look for a new child care for your son, I would check for naeyc accredidation. The prices may be steeper but well worth it! (we are accredidated!)

http://www.naeyc.org/

[Nikita706]

I work in a child care and I am a teacher of two year olds =) It is not a home child care but college run. It's a learning school for the students as well as a great program from the children attending (infant-kindergarten). Our rate for out toddler room is (I *think*, I think it may have just recently raised) $250 a week. We provide 2 snacks and lunch as well. We are open 5 days a week from 7am-6pm. Does your provider provide food for your child? How much do you pay a week? Running a home child care is *very* expensive. Basically you don't make money working in this field, you do it because you love kids. If you think being a sahm is the best option for your son I think you should do it! And by all means... I am not saying she was right in not telling you first, but I do understand her need in raising her prices. I hope I made sense and didn't ramble!
BTW: if you do decide to look for a new child care for your son, I would check for naeyc accredidation. The prices may be steeper but well worth it! (we are accredidated!)

http://www.naeyc.org/

We were paying about $170/week, which is higher than anywhere else in our area (other providers were charging around $150), and we provide all of the food and diapers. And I guess I'm just confused about why it would cost so much to run a daycare. She's not licensed, so she doesn't have to follow any guidelines. If they need medicine, we bring it. I don't think she's ever had to pay for anything in addition to what we bring. So I honestly don't think that she's spending any more than she was a year ago when we brought him to her. Not to mention that rates are supposed to go DOWN when he turns 2, not go up.

[alli816]

How awesome is that.....yippee.......wow that's great he can stay where he is now....so cool.....

[tawni8806]

How awesome is that.....yippee.......wow that's great he can stay where he is now....so cool.....
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LMAO!!! Someone didnt read the whole thread. :gathering:

Anyways, I compeletly agree with you. she is ridiculous. I say look around. You dont want a kaniving babysitter. That's ridiculous that she raised the rates without telling you. I would confront her again. Say that you just can't afford that. You were dissapointed that she went behind your back to raise her rates. Tell her you really can't pay that, and you got child care assistance in the first place because you couldn't pay it. If she doesn't offer to cut her costs to what they were then I would find someone else. Even if your child loves her, there are others out there that will show respect to her AND your child.

She'll be missing out.

[Nikita706]

Thank you Tawni!

Well, I did talk to her, and she agreed to lower her rates to $4/hour, so I'm happy with that. I honestly don't think that she understood that it's not okay to raise the rates for no reason just because we're saving money. I think she just figured 'Well, they're saving money no matter what, I might as well raise my rates.' She was very understanding and more than willing to go along with the $4 an hour (which is still a raise for her). Anyway, now that we've gotten it worked out, I'll probably keep him with her until he goes to pre-school (so, for about another year). She is really good with him and he does really like her, and it's really hard on a child to switch child care providers, so I'd like to avoid that route as long as I can. Kids need routines and stability. So, it all got worked out again, but it's definitely given me some insight and I'll definitely be more aware of what's going on next time. :D

[alli816]

Nikita, sorry I guess I missed the whole thread....but glad to hear its straightened out to a degree......

[Brian's Bride]

Do you think it'll be awkward with her now that all this happened? I can imagine her being nice to your face and then just smack-talking about you behind your back. But I'm just a pessimist, I guess... at least it got somewhat straightened out. I'm shocked she'd just raise the price without telling you first!

[Nikita706]

Do you think it'll be awkward with her now that all this happened? I can imagine her being nice to your face and then just smack-talking about you behind your back. But I'm just a pessimist, I guess... at least it got somewhat straightened out. I'm shocked she'd just raise the price without telling you first!

Well, if she does, that's her problem. Honestly though, she's a really sweet lady, and I know she loves Josiah (my son), and she seemed geniune and sincere about wanting to help us out. I just think she misunderstood what was going on, and when she realized that I was the one footing the bill for her raise (she thought the State would pay for it), she backed off and lowered her rate. I think now that she understands, she's fine, so I really hope she doesn't have hard feelings, because I REALLY don't feel like we did anything wrong in this situation. It's been almost a week since we got it straightened out, and things haven't been weird, so hopefully it'll be settled from here on out.

[rainbowtreat]

I am so sorry to hear you had such problems with all of this. I am now stayin ghome with my kids but plan to babysit a couple. Here in NH there is always such a waiting list for child care centers that they came up with a program. I am just getting started on it. I register with the state and get a back ground check and take infant/child. first aid and cpr. Once I do all of that ( and a few little things liek some paper work ) I am on a list that will be given to parents to call if they need child care. I can take care of 3 kids ( not includiing my own ) with out having to be licened by the state. I get a portion of my pay from teh state and a portion from teh parent. I will charge $125 a week and what ever the state pays for that certain child the parent will pay the extra.

I sure hope you don't run into something like this again. The prices are crazy. I worked in child care for years. I got done 7 years ago and at that time an infant cost you $135 a week. I can just imigaine how much it has gone up.

[Nikita706]

I am so sorry to hear you had such problems with all of this. I am now stayin ghome with my kids but plan to babysit a couple. Here in NH there is always such a waiting list for child care centers that they came up with a program. I am just getting started on it. I register with the state and get a back ground check and take infant/child. first aid and cpr. Once I do all of that ( and a few little things liek some paper work ) I am on a list that will be given to parents to call if they need child care. I can take care of 3 kids ( not includiing my own ) with out having to be licened by the state. I get a portion of my pay from teh state and a portion from teh parent. I will charge $125 a week and what ever the state pays for that certain child the parent will pay the extra.

I sure hope you don't run into something like this again. The prices are crazy. I worked in child care for years. I got done 7 years ago and at that time an infant cost you $135 a week. I can just imigaine how much it has gone up.

Wow, $125/week is a great price! We're paying ~$180/week. And in Cali, you can only watch 1 family member and 1 other child without a license. Any more than that and they require you to be licensed. I can understand that they're just trying to be cautious, but honestly, I think that it should be MY responsibility as a parent to decide who I will trust with my child and who I won't. I actually interviewed a couple of licensed, in-home child cares, and they were horrible! The ladies were mean and they basically crammed as many kids into their daycare so they could get as much money as possible, then they would ignore them for the day! It was terrible!

I remember when I was in daycare, I never saw the lady that ran the daycare. She would leave her 16 year old daughter in charge of the kids and her daughter would torment us. I even remember one time when she was giving us popsicles, and I told her I didn't like the green popsicles. So she pulled out another one and said it was a different flavor, I said okay, and SHE THREW THE POPSICLE AT ME and yelled 'It's the same flavor!'

So I was SO THANKFUL when I found this lady who was watching 1 other child and was sweet and patient and would work with Josiah one-on-one. He's not even 2 years old, but she's taught him to count to 5 already! I was shocked when she showed me that one, lol. Currently, she watches her grandson Miguel (who's ~7 months), Josiah (21 months) and a girl named Savannah (7 years?). She technically isn't supposed to be watching Savannah, but when she tried to get licensed, they wouldn't approve her house because she had a deck in the backyard with 1 STEP that the kids could trip on. She didn't want any more than 2 or 3 kids anyway, so she just didn't get a license. She still had to get fingerprinted and get a background check, but she didn't have to go through the whole house inspection and pay the fees and whatnot.

Anyway, thanks for your advice and kind words, rainbow! :D