What makes mommys drink....

[Nekochanpurr]

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
addressed to 'Mom' With the worst premonition she opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I
have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight
motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But
it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be
very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
; ; ; Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we
will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Jon
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
report card that' s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.


:bblol:

[WebLady]

Oh man, that is bad, but how funny :p

[lizardbnorton]

lol that was funny. I'll have to find the one I got the other day and post it here.

[lizardbnorton]

That was easier than I thought


The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, 'No'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'


‘Yes'

'May I talk with her?'

Again the small voice whispered, 'No'

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

' Yes ' whispered the child, ' a policeman'

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

'ME'

[Nekochanpurr]

LOL, i LOVE that one!! XD

[tootsie]

I've seen this before, too funny. :bblol:

[exoduslaughin]

Very funny!

[lize566]

That's hilarious! TFS!

[FFC]

That's a new one for me I love it! LOL.

[CelticAngel]

:bblol::bblol: Those are both funny. I've been having a terrible day.Thanks for posting them.:bblol::bblol:

[LadyDante]

Scott did that to his Southern Baptist sister. Told her his new gf was a really nice girl, although a stripper, but on a bright side all of her tattoos were spelled correctly. After that, the idea of him going on a signle date with a bartender wasn't so horrifying to her.