Stop Sugar Coating It

[wolf4091]

ya know i just have to say something about those of you here who feel the need to sugar coat things. yea sure there is delicacy and compassion and all that. i'm going into law and do NOT need to be preached at about any of it i assure you. i really dont think it's right the way i JUST GOT here and already have been ganged up on just because a few people wanna feel important. some people here actually do have genuine concerns. i'm sorry if i dont feel that "oh i dont have the right color centerpiece" ( just an example) and such is a big crisis to worry about. now this is not everyone so if it does not apply dont worry about it. big deal. what is a big deal is others jumping to conclusions about others assuming they just know everything. this is a place to share opinions. i'm not writing a book just giving mine. IF YOU DONT LIKE SOMEONES OPINION SO WHAT. we all have the right to freedom of speech. that doesnt give others the right to just jump all over ya for it. i guess some people just need to feel important for 30 minutes. personally i get insulted when people baby me and have met many others like that too. if ever anyone just wants an actual straighforward non candy coated answer to a question i'll be happy to oblige. CHEERS!!

[countrygirl]

People on this site have been relying on eachother for those opinions that you just ridiculed. You may not like it, but that doesn't mean that it isn't right for the rest of us.

You just jumped at everyone on here for 'preaching' and 'jumping down throats'.

Isn't that what your message just did???

Let the rest of us enjoy the companionship.

[Shawna Bride]

Whoa, what crawled up your butt?

[wolf4091]

no i did not preach or jump down throats. you can enjoy companionship all you want to but so can i and i shouldnt be judged unfairly all the time just because i seem to be different. that's my point. i have different tastes and opinions and i have a right to them. like everyone else here. i'm not always "mean" as it were as that isnt always necessary but some people DO need a wakeup call and some simply sugar coat every little thing. no one i know lives in Pleasantville where everyone is just so nice and sweet and no one is ever cruel or unfair. please. that just makes me sick.

[KMac]

ya know i just have to say something about those of you here who feel the need to sugar coat things. yea sure there is delicacy and compassion and all that. i'm going into law and do NOT need to be preached at about any of it i assure you. i really dont think it's right the way i JUST GOT here and already have been ganged up on just because a few people wanna feel important. some people here actually do have genuine concerns. i'm sorry if i dont feel that "oh i dont have the right color centerpiece" ( just an example) and such is a big crisis to worry about. now this is not everyone so if it does not apply dont worry about it. big deal. what is a big deal is others jumping to conclusions about others assuming they just know everything. this is a place to share opinions. i'm not writing a book just giving mine. IF YOU DONT LIKE SOMEONES OPINION SO WHAT. we all have the right to freedom of speech. that doesnt give others the right to just jump all over ya for it. i guess some people just need to feel important for 30 minutes. personally i get insulted when people baby me and have met many others like that too. if ever anyone just wants an actual straighforward non candy coated answer to a question i'll be happy to oblige. CHEERS!!
Isn't this sugar coating? A few of us are un-aware of what you are referring too. Sorry you feel this way. Maybe this site isn't for you.

[Shawna Bride]

no i did not preach or jump down throats. you can enjoy companionship all you want to but so can i and i shouldnt be judged unfairly all the time just because i seem to be different. that's my point. i have different tastes and opinions and i have a right to them. like everyone else here. i'm not always "mean" as it were as that isnt always necessary but some people DO need a wakeup call and some simply sugar coat every little thing. no one i know lives in Pleasantville where everyone is just so nice and sweet and no one is ever cruel or unfair. please. that just makes me sick.

I can't understand what is wrong with making people feel good, and supporting people? I would have had a mental breakdown this morning with all the :censored: I'm dealing with lately, if it wasn't for these women. I don't think anyone's sugar coating anything. To be honest, I've heard a lot of hard truths that perhaps I wish were sugar coated at first, but they only made me stronger and feel better about my situation.

I think you are very cranky right now and are taking it out on these amazing women. We are a support group in a way, and your post is not helping anyone other than yourself.

[Hayz]

Everybody is different. Each of us have different needs. To some (taking the centerpiece example) the centerpiece could be really important to them, while to others its way down the line of importance. They each have their reasons why their list of importancy is the way it is, and its not for anyone else to criticise.
This site is really good to come to get other peoples opinion and help on things that maybe they can't get from family and friends. Here everyone is going through the same things, or have already been through them, so their help is great. Again everybody is different and gives their advice in different ways, wither it seems to be sugarcoating things or being really harsh. Its then up to the person that they are trying to help to sort out all the information, keep whats useful to them and throw out the rest. Some of it is relevant to them and some of it not.
I'm sorry Wolf but it seems that you have just criticised everyone for trying to help out and that doesn't seem right. Yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion but they also have the right to be respected for giving their opinion no matter what it is.

[officiant-fica]

So I saw this post and had no idea what was going on. I admit I had to look up posts just to see what was going on. Oh the drama! Look Wolf, I am sure you are a wonderful person. As I stated in an earlier post "tone is hard to inflect in writting" However, I have to say a few things. Sympathy, empathy and kindness are not sugar coating. I personally avoid posting when I can not say add something that will help the situatuion. It's not that I am afraid that someone's feelings will be hurt, but because, everyone comes here for to enjoy each others company. As for an introduction, well, that just plain politeness. Can anyone say that they are comfortable entering a room full of people and start interjecting into various conversations with out so much as a "Hi, I'm so & so"
Try reading and posting in the "Did You Know Game" this is a wonderful group of women that you can learn alot and I am sure that we can learn from you!

[countrygirl]

Nicely put Audry.

I personally love the 'did you know' game. I have checked it several times today just to see what new facts I can learn about everyone. It's been great!!!!!!!

[WebLady]

---- "Benefit of the doubt has been extended, serious engagement attempted, and the fruit it's borne appears to be yet another contribution to exhaustion. There's not much else to be said, not much to be done but a moment of quiet reflection"

---- "Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence"

[wolf4091]

actually yea i am comfortable in my own skin and just jumping in a conversation just as i am. i feel the need for a certain privacy when alot of people get their identity stolen. you feel the way you feel and i respect that. truly i do. it isnt drama it's fact. some of the posts here are really sincere and have meaning. no centerpieces and dresses I PERSONALLY do not feel are reasons to complain. if you truly look at what i'm saying you'll know i'm right because yes people are sugar coating all too often and that's fine but dont critisize me if i dont. others have who simply have to tip toe around others all the time. yet in some of the posts i've read they are quite contradicting. i came here not to make friends but because i like some of the advice given and received. but one can't even do that it seems because we have to be "nice". i was jumped all over unfairly just because my opinions were different. i welcome all input good or bad. it's your opinion and you're welcome to it. so why shouldnt i be?

[WebLady]

... it is obvious that this isn't going to get us anywhere so why bother trying. I say we get back to the board we all know and love and if others don't like it they can go elsewhere.

[rainbowtreat]

Not to drag this out but Wolf you jumped on me very rudely in another post about somethign I said about some one elses post. Were you not critizing me for statin my opinion? What you said was veryuncalled for and I chose not to reply as tolet it go because you are not a type of person I care to deal with. Life is too short for all this pettiness. I stand up for my freidns and that was what I was doing. We are all here to enjoy ourselves and get away from the real every day life thigns that usualy include the bull**** that you are pulling. This is a get away to have fun and chat and forget about all the stress. So back off and let us be. I don't like being spoken to the way you did. You have no idea what kind of person I am and you have no right to sit there and judge over one little post. So think about what you are saying before you post anything else. You are doing EXACTLY what you are saying we are doing to you. If you can't see that then you got bigger problems. This will be the last time I post about this sitution. I am not here for this.

[officiant-fica]

actually yea i am comfortable in my own skin and just jumping in a conversation just as i am. i feel the need for a certain privacy when alot of people get their identity stolen. you feel the way you feel and i respect that. truly i do. it isnt drama it's fact. some of the posts here are really sincere and have meaning. no centerpieces and dresses I PERSONALLY do not feel are reasons to complain. if you truly look at what i'm saying you'll know i'm right because yes people are sugar coating all too often and that's fine but dont critisize me if i dont. others have who simply have to tip toe around others all the time. yet in some of the posts i've read they are quite contradicting. i came here not to make friends but because i like some of the advice given and received. but one can't even do that it seems because we have to be "nice". i was jumped all over unfairly just because my opinions were different. i welcome all input good or bad. it's your opinion and you're welcome to it. so why shouldnt i be?
I understand your desire for privacy. However, Hi I'm Wolf, I'm getting married next spring is hardly going to get your identity stolen. The fact is when you signed up for this forum you had to give more information than that. All the the posts here are sincere to the poster. What you see as a crisis and what another sees as a crisis may be completey opposite! We are all friends here. If you are not interesting in making friends, so be it. But if you feel you were unjusly attacted, that was because you made unfair assumptions about someone we consider a friend. I am sorry that the friendships that have been cultivated here seem so "sugarcoated" to you. I hope that you learn to enjoy this forum as much as I do. it's ok to play the devil's advocate, but everything can be said with tact. I am a person who says what I beleive, i do not back down when I think I am right, but experience has taught me the differance between rudeness and invididuality.

[wolf4091]

finally we are gettin somewhere. no no rainbow you brought it up. you can tell me what you think i did wrong and we'll go from there. you are all so "friendly" as you put it. so prove it. i think you have good dialogue going shut up weblady if you dont like it go to another's thread instead of mine. this is my area and my opinions are you are no better and have contradicted yourself in alot of posts so dont start with me. just ignore me and go about your business. at least some people here can be honest.

[LaceyinPgh]

Ok, I am in an extremely emotional mood today, so here it goes:

Wolf, first of all congrats on thinking about a career in law. I know when I went to law school they didn't offer specific classes in grace, tact, or learning to keep your lips closed in certain situations. Hopefully in your case you find an institution of higher learning that does in fact offer those. You will need them or I get the feeling those contempt fines will mount up terribly fast.

That said, we are all like a little cyber family here. We are extremely close for a group of women who haven't had the ability to actually meet one another. Compassion and understand is something every memeber of this board prides themselves on. I look forward to checking this board a couple times a day to see what "my girls" are up to. We talk about and share a lot more than wedding ideas on this board. However, this is by definition a wedding board. So discussing the fact that the centerpieces aren't coordinating as we had planned or our caterer screwed us over in their estimate or our mothers are driving us crazy is what this board was created for. It is here to get off stresses and find ideas that we might not have been able to come up with on our own. I know personally that I have been helped by a lot of members on this boards in big and little situations. I hope that I have in turn been able to help them.

No one on this board "sugar coats" anything. If we don't like something we say so. But we do it in a manner that is constructive not destructive. There is no need to be a complete :censored: about everything. There also isn't a need to make a comment about everything. Take some advice from my grandfather: "Those who have to say something about everything really have nothing to say."

It is obvious that you don't seem to like this board. I'm sorry you don't I have been on several boards that I didn't like either. But instead of being a hair up everyone's butt I went out and found boards that I did like. Maybe it is time for you to shop around. We were more that willing to give you a chance but I think you burned a lot of bridges.

By the way, I won't be responding to you anymore. I didn't plan on it until right now in fact. But like I said, I am in a foul mood today. And you never want to poke me when I am in a foul mood. Besides if I wanted to deal with childish negativity and person who feels that God gives them the right the voice their opinions on everything, I will go and visit my mother. At least I know she will make me dinner before I leave.

[Kacie_bride]

I obviously missed something and I don't understand what is going on other than wolf is upset about something and everyone else is mad too. Are you mad because you don't like what other people post? I'm sorry, but I don't understand this at all.

[CarlosHoney]

All I'm saying is, I smell a Troll. :bbconfused:

Don't tell Brandi (Weblady) to shut up. :realmad:this is my area and my opinions are you are no better and have contradicted yourself in alot of posts so dont start with me. just ignore me and go about your business. at least some people here can be honest.This is not your area. Look at the amount of posts you have in comparison with the ammounts that we have. I've statyed out of this, just because I thought that it was childish and ridiculous for someone to go stirring up drama when there is absolutley no need.

If you feel that the women on this board are so beneath you that you need no introduction, and that you can be mean spirited and rude, then please, go elsewhere. Why do you even want to post on a board where people don't want you? You sound like the people on *******.com

That's why I don't post there anymore.

If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it at all. We're a group of friends who support each other, even when our opinions are different. There are ways to agree to disagree.. And when you come to the onewed chat page, it says "Welcome to the most friendly online wedding chat community!"

I've found that this group is like a bunch of bumblebees. We're harmonious, and work together for a common goal.. And we produce sweet results.. But when you go and stir the hive, don't be surprised when you get stung.

I'm ignoring you from now on. It's futile to try and talk since to someone whose opinions are without error. I might have Bridezilla in my signature, but you, Miss... You're the one acting like a monster. :bbmad:

[9801crystal]

I remember when this happened when you called rainbow a dogooder. This is how it started. If it was me reading that dogooder reply. In a way I would have thought the reply was a joke or something sarcastic. But that is when weblady called you and I a troublemaker. And I am only new to this site and all I had was a honest opinion. That is how I am honest but I don't like calling people names. But I agree with honesty but not this drama on this post. I don't believe people should personally attack on public form only a helpful honest opinoin.
Crystal

[9801crystal]

I remember when this happened when you called rainbow a dogooder. This is how it started. If it was me reading that dogooder reply. In a way I would have thought the reply was a joke or something sarcastic. But that is when weblady called you and I a troublemaker. And I am only new to this site and all I had was a honest opinion. That is how I am honest but I don't like calling people names. But I agree with honesty but not this drama on this post. I don't believe people should personally attack on public form only a helpful honest opinoin.
Crystal

[Valmai]

Ermmm did i miss summat? lol Did find it very surprising to find summat like this on ere - never even noticed a smallish tiff ere before! xxx

[ikkin510]

The ladies on here are wonderful people. They are not just people on the internet, we are all good friends. We talk with each other just like we would with our friends. Venting about our centerpieces and flowers knowing that there are people that know how we feel and want to help. They are here to cheer us up and give us the advise we need.
I'm sorry if you don't like how we talk to each other and how we are here to help one another out. But what I want to know is, if you don't like it, why are you still here making a big stink about it all? In my opinion all creating this post did was create more problems. We are all going to continue to be friends and talk like we always do here. That's not going to change. Gwen (rainbowtreat) is always going to be helping out and making us happy. Brandi (weblady) will always be replying to posts helping in any way she can. I love both of these ladies for that, and all of the others here. I think it's time you move on if you don't like it. The rest of us will be moving on by ignoring these antics

[countrygirl]

I dont' want to sound harsh, but I think this post should end. Wolf obviously is getting a kick out of getting a rise in us. We are here to gain/lend support, and I guess some people see that as a weakness. For those of us who enjoy this forum, it is a strengthing tool.

Apparently she doesn't want to hear the positive side of the shared expeirences and opinion, and she has a problem w relatiating to our defending it.

At least we all know that we are here for eachother, and if she wants it, we will be here for her too, as long as she can show the same respect that the rest of us show eachother.

For now, I think it's just best to leave well enough alone.

Good luck in your journey Wolf. I hope that you will see how helpful we can all be, and one day become a part of it, respectfully.

[CindySue]

I dont' want to sound harsh, but I think this post should end. Wolf obviously is getting a kick out of getting a rise in us. We are here to gain/lend support, and I guess some people see that as a weakness. For those of us who enjoy this forum, it is a strengthing tool.

Apparently she doesn't want to hear the positive side of the shared expeirences and opinion, and she has a problem w relatiating to our defending it.

At least we all know that we are here for eachother, and if she wants it, we will be here for her too, as long as she can show the same respect that the rest of us show eachother.

For now, I think it's just best to leave well enough alone.

Good luck in your journey Wolf. I hope that you will see how helpful we can all be, and one day become a part of it, respectfully.

That was great Heather!!!!
If someone doesnt like the way we are/handle things in this site, they need to find another site more suited to their need for drama.
If this was such an "awful" place, we wouldnt have people coming back AFTER their weddings to continue to lend support!

[countrygirl]

Thank you Very much!!!!

[WeddingManager]

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