Pre-Engaged

[mandaj10]

I don't know how many there currently are, but I figured that a little thread for those of us that are basically engaged, but without a ring (yet!) would be a good idea; whether you have a date, or a year, or no idea when you will be getting married...
I figured it could be a place for us to vent and talk... and not rain on the already-engaged ladies' parades.
Good idea or no?

[snu]

Me!

I picked out a ring in October, and we are hoping for a fall 09 wedding. I should be getting my ring within the next few months. The closer we get to being "officially" engaged, the more anxious/impatient I get! I'm really excited to start the "real" planning.

Great thread idea!

[*Lisa*]

I'm in the Pre-Engaged club too! We've been talking about getting married for years and are pretty sure it will be in May 2010. It will be a destination wedding so we won't know the exact date until we get closer to booking.

We have definite ideas of what we want/don't want so I'm hoping our planning process will be easy.

I picked out the ring the I love, and a few others that I really like too, and I know that my FH has made the purchase already. Now its just the waiting game. He likes to do things on big events, so I have a feeling it will be during our trip to Florida from May 9th-18th. 5 more weeks!!!!

[vicky_vicky]

I am also at that stage. We are planning our official engagement -ring, families, and everything- in a month more or less!

I have been looking for rings already by myself of course! He said that we will pick my ring together so I want to have a good idea of what jewelery stores I will take him to!

I am telling you I ve seen very beautiful rings!!

Because his financial condition is not very good and he is not letting me help him with this- no way he will do it, I am thinking for zirgon stone over real diamond.

If you want to get a decent diamond, one you could actually see, you must pay over 1500 euros, which is very expensive in my opinion, come on after all its just a ring!
There are very beautiful ones with zirgon crystal and they come at 300-400 euros.

[TangoWedding]

I was a pre-engaged when I first joined this forum, too...now we're less than 2 months away from our date! :happy:

You sure get a lot of strange looks planning a wedding without being engaged, huh? I sure got a lot of eye-rolls. And it's really hard to visit places/ask about dates and then have to explain that you're not REALLY engaged yet. :bblol:

Good luck ladies! Your day will come! And if you're anything like me, you'll still cry your eyes out when he gives you the ring. :bun:

[Deanna2112001]

Tango,
I have been planning our wedding for 2 years now. And I still have to wait another year. Yet I still get all teary eyed when I see that someone is that close to her date. I am excited for you and I don't even know you.

But I have to ask this. Being this close to your date, Is there anything you have found yourself rushing to do? Like maybe you totally forgot something and now you had to go and get it done.

I ask because other than the centerpieces and things I can't do till a later date. I always wonder if I am going to forget something. Maybe you can throw us a reminder or two. lol

[LadyDante]

I joined then I was pre-engaged as well. Thankfully he proposed soon after. And thankfully I never got an eye roll. Could help that my right hand ring is white gold with diamonds, so I moved it to my left hand when I went to look at dresses :p
I did indeed hated the pre-engagment part though, since we knew for couple of years the date yet only got engaged 2 weeks ago.

[brechild]

Do you have to have a ring to be engaged???

[Deanna2112001]

Unlike you I got engaged but things kept happening that made us change the date! I have been planning this for 2 freaking years! And now that the date is final. I still have another year to go. ~sigh~ But on the flip side. I have done a lot of DIY. And I am pleased with it. I was able to change my mind.. and really think things through. Think to myself. Hey I can do that.. No need to pay someone.

All of you guys should see this as a opportunity. Now you can mold your wedding the way you want it. Yet still have time to change your mind about decisions. Instead of making them and having to stick with them because time is running out.

Trust me. You will be happy it went the way it did.

[LadyDante]

Do you have to have a ring to be engaged???

No.
I did it though to preempt any questions though.

[brechild]

I just ask because I am finally getting my ring next week, but have started lining up all my wedding locations/vendors, etc already for my May 17, 2009 wedding. I think maybe I am doing things way too early. My mom says, "you have been wedding obsessed since you were 5!"

But I don't think I will feel totally official until I get my ring, but I do feel engaged since the date is set *if that makes any sense* :bblol:

[BamaBride]

actually it's good to go ahead and start planning now! some venues book a year in advance

[Measha]

I'm a little confused with this one *chuckle* If you know for certain you are going to get married to someone, I'd just naturally assume you were "fully" engaged. Maybe that's just me though ^.^

As to having to have a ring, well I still don't have mine, and I don't fret over it.

[mandaj10]

I know that you don't need to have a ring to be engaged and all that. I noticed in a thread (about rings) that all of us still waiting *somewhat* patiently for ours were kind of being downers. So, I figured we could move our anxiousness about rings and whatever else here. Just a thought!
And thank you ladies for the encouragement! I think this site is so wonderful and supportive... I love it! :flower: And as for me, I'm sure I'm part of the problem with the ring, because FH wants to get me exactly what I want, and I can't even decide :sweatdrop: All I know that if it comes from him, and he asks me to marry him, I'll (SAY YES!!!) and be thrilled :)

[LadyDante]

I think what really got to me was not the lack of the ring but rather that we already had a date, we already knew that we wanted to get married, we made it known to friends and family, but he has yet to actually ask me to be his wife. And I guess that is the biggest thing that got to me. Especially since he did that with his very first gf over 10 years ago. (Weird situation with her, but the 3 of us are friends now and I really like her and considering inviting her to the weding, if she could come from Singapore.)

[snu]

We know we are getting married, and we have a general idea of when (Oct 09), but we are waiting to announce our engagement to friends, family, etc until he gets a ring. I don't think a ring is needed to get married or be engaged, but that's how we are choosing to do it. He also plans on asking for my parents' belssing, and will show them the ring at that time (before he presents it to me) He's been wanting to plan a surprise proposal and everything, which is fine by me. It'll be a special time for us, and we're looking forward to it. I think it's all about personal preference. I don't think there's any "wrong" way to do it, for sure!

It's great to have a little support group going!

Oh, and I haven't put deposits down or anything since we're still well over a year away, but I have been contacting a few vendors to get price ideas and such. We have a general idea on what we want our day to be like, and we're already putting money aside for the budget. So I guess for us, the pre-engaged thing is more to help us plan and prepare, as well as me waiting for the ring. :)

[brechild]

Well, 3 months into our relationship we talked about wanting to get married but that we should wait to see how it goes, not to rush into anything *both sets of parents ~mine & his~ were married after 3 months of dating & are still married* but felt like we should wait & be sure. Well, fast forward & we still know we want to be married & have children & have been living together over a year now. SO>>>

I feel like I am doing too much too soon, but I don't want to be stressed out closer to the actual wedding date. I am lining up everything. I have invitations, wedding location, wedding reception location, baker, photographer all picked out. I find there is a lot of flexibility with trying to book early *because they don't know if the date will fill & am the first to ask, easier to get the date as well*. The wedding venue I want doesn't book until 11 months out...they said 12 months was way too early...haha!!! So, no early birds like me!!!

I am certainly a budget bride & not afraid to wheel & deal my way through this whole process. My motto is, "never pay retail if you don't have to!!" :~) I know some people think that is a bit coo coo...but it's just my style. I like the idea of bang for my buck. I am also not afraid to enlist the talents of others to help with the wedding process. In my estimation, I figure the more people/help I can get on board in the beginning, the less I will have to struggle near the end *financial because I can save more loot & emotional because it is easier to throw a martini & favor party 6 months out than closer to time when everyone is stressed over being a bridesmaid, etc.* Just my thoughts.

So, I feel fully engaged, now if my bling would just arrive *bought online* to make me feel even more "bridal" it would just be the icing on the cake because I have a fantastic FH!! :bun:;)

[TangoWedding]

But I have to ask this. Being this close to your date, Is there anything you have found yourself rushing to do? Like maybe you totally forgot something and now you had to go and get it done.

I ask because other than the centerpieces and things I can't do till a later date. I always wonder if I am going to forget something. Maybe you can throw us a reminder or two. lol


Well, not really. We both started looking for venues and getting general ideas about a year and a half ago...and we've been engaged for almost 8 months now...so we've had a ton of time to plan and get everything down. We made sure to give ourselves a year-long engagement for just that reason.

The only thing I found was that my plans have changed a ton since I first started getting ideas. I completely changed my invitation design about 5 times, my centerpieces a few times, theme twice, etc. And my problem is is that I buy everything when I decide on it...so I have a lot of stuff I won't even be using now. :bblol:

But, no, I can't say I've forgotten anything (that I know of! LOL!) or had to rush to do anything. It's been nearly 100% stress-free because we gave ourselves so much time. It's been nothing but a blast. I've enjoyed every second of being a pre-engaged AND being engaged.

Now I just can't wait to finally be his wife and get this danged "planning" over with. :happy:

[brechild]

Yes, Ms. Tango...that is the key word "stress-free". That is precisely what I am going for. I would rather have everything in place and/or have the freedom to change everything if necessary than scrambling at the last minute & wanting to pull my hair out. I mean, I have read about brides getting 3 hours of sleep on the night before the wedding. I want to be one of those brides that wakes up, gets pampered, & enjoys every minute because the day will be a blur at best!!! It's only one day & I don't want to have to stress or micro-manage that very special day!!

[Deanna2112001]

Well, not really. We both started looking for venues and getting general ideas about a year and a half ago...and we've been engaged for almost 8 months now...so we've had a ton of time to plan and get everything down. We made sure to give ourselves a year-long engagement for just that reason.

The only thing I found was that my plans have changed a ton since I first started getting ideas. I completely changed my invitation design about 5 times, my centerpieces a few times, theme twice, etc. And my problem is is that I buy everything when I decide on it...so I have a lot of stuff I won't even be using now. :bblol:

But, no, I can't say I've forgotten anything (that I know of! LOL!) or had to rush to do anything. It's been nearly 100% stress-free because we gave ourselves so much time. It's been nothing but a blast. I've enjoyed every second of being a pre-engaged AND being engaged.

Now I just can't wait to finally be his wife and get this danged "planning"
over with. :happy:


Rick and I have been engaged since Feb. 11th 2006. And since then.. First date was April 12 2007. But he got promoted and now we live 2 hrs away from family. Then came the second date. June 14th 2008. But once I looked at our credit card bills. I said.. No way.. We have to use our income tax to pay these bills off. Another 3k So this is our final date. April 11th 2009. I have lots and lots of stuff. I have not changed my mind as much as you have. But I do have 2 wedding dresses. and pairs of shoes. Candles that are for centerpieces That I am not using. lol..

I am really enjoying this. I think I will look into wedding planning on the side . I am a little annoyed at the fact that Planners charge a arm and a leg. I hate to say this. But I love helping people. It would mean more to me to have cheaper prices, and do things from me just being me. The look a persons face would tell you how much they appreciate it.

I dunno. There has to be a reason they charge $$$$ for those packages. I am just not getting it.

[QuickCareEventPlanners]

Right now is an exciting time and you should definitely relish in the moment. Ladies, be sure to drop hints to your man of romantic places you would love to go together (also suggest to find great proposal ideas by Googling "ways to propose")

I wanted to share my proposal story, just tooo sweet :bblol:

My husband and I had been dating for 2 years and living together. We planned on the 4 year mark as the best time for both of us. We had looked at some gorgeous rings, but no definite picks yet.

On our cruise on April 8th 2002, we were at the Captain's dinner (formal) and after dinner he hands me an envelope. I was like Huh? So he says to read the directions and he leaves. (okay??) So I play along and it's a scavenger hunt...yippy, how fun!

I go from place to place where he had already spoke with staff and staged the whole thing on to each location where they were waiting for me. From the casino, to the champagne lounge, to the piano bar..he had everything planned. SO finally I get to the top deck and there he stands with a white rose in hand. He pulls out this beautiful ring and I couldn't say yes fast enough! It was truly a dream.

We were married May 26th 2004 and had our gorgeous daughter Lauren March 9th 2006...and we are so very much in love!

Good Luck to all of you ladies and may god bless your marriage as he has ours!

Jen

[Nekochanpurr]

Awww!! What a beautiful proposal!! :D

[mandaj10]

That is a really cute engagement story! A neighbor of mine's FH engaged on Halloween by carving "Will you marry me ____?" Into a pumpkin, with a little hole underneath to hold the ring, lighting the pumpkin and leaving it outside for her to find when she got home from work! I thought that was sooooooooo cute! It makes me wonder what MY FH will do to propose... he's very creative and sneaky, I know that when it happens, I will never expect it!

[alli816]

I don't know how many there currently are, but I figured that a little thread for those of us that are basically engaged, but without a ring (yet!) would be a good idea; whether you have a date, or a year, or no idea when you will be getting married...
I figured it could be a place for us to vent and talk... and not rain on the already-engaged ladies' parades.
Good idea or no?

Hey Mandaj10....thank you for starting this thread....I feel the same way I dont want to take away the joy of the women who have been proposed too...I'm just very frustrated....We have a date but he wants to be traditional.....ugh....for me its not about the ring its about him asking me to marry him....the more and more I spend with him I truly believe he's my soul mate....I love him and I just want the official commitment I guess...who knows....:flower:

[princessbridezilla]

hi!!

i'm new to this forum. i'm "pre-engaged". my BF and I have been talking about getting married since we got together almost 2 years ago. he has been saving for my dream diamond engagement ring. until we are officially engaged i am wearing a promise ring on my left ring finger that he gave me for christmas last year. we're talking about a late may/early june wedding in 2010. i'm already looking at venues, invitations, flowers, etc because i want my wedding to be everything i dreamed of (yes, i'm one of those girls!)

anyways, i'm glad i'm not the only one who is planning over two years early when i'm not even technically "engaged" yet, lol!!!

[*Lisa*]

I have a promise ring too :) FH got it for me on my 16th birthday and I pretty much haven't gone a day without it since (I'm 22). It's going to be sad to part with it and strange to not have it on, but it will be replaced with a ring that has an even deeper meaning and that's exciting. By the end of May :)

Here's a photo of my promise ring:
http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w149/Luvin_Hedgies/Random%20Items/Mypromisering1of1.jpg

We too have decided on a May 2010 wedding. FH will have just graduated college and it works well timing wise for all of my family to go on vacation.

[mandaj10]

Yay! I'm glad that we're all in this together! Princess, it sounds like we have a lot in common, as my boyfriend also is saving for a ring that he thinks will be "sufficient", but I've been planning a lot recently. It's hard to do without a real budget though, because I know that my parents and his father will most likely be contributing, but I feel weird asking them before we're "official". And Mary Ann, I'm glad that you think this is a good topic! I saw that there were at least a few in that ring thread that were pre-engaged, thats where I got the idea! I'm very happy that we're not the only ones! :sweatdrop:

[hughesfarmgirl]

I, too, am pre-engaged.

Jason and I met last June and it wasn't too long after that I moved in with him. In August, he came home from work one day and suggested that we go to Gatlinburg, TN (he hadn't ever been there and knew how much I loved the place). We had planned for a September trip, but that was before I got a teaching job and harvest started over a month early (Jason farms). One evening we went up the hill to his parent's house (family farm) and went swimming and we made the decision to postpone the trip. He got really quiet and seemed upset...he finally told me that the whole purpose of the trip was to propose, but money was tight and he couldn't afford it as he had hoped.

We went to Gatlinburg in November and had a WONDERFUL time. (No proposal.) Since then, we got a joint checking account, so it's even harder for him to get a ring without we knowing (we both want it to be a surprise).

We've been working on a muddin/pullin truck and asked if it was okay to buy a motor for it. Long story short, when I suggested to use his tax check, he said he had something special planned for that money and smiled, but wouldn't tell me what. I don't want to get my hopes up but I'm thinking that the something special is a ring...who knows.

We've talked about it a lot and we know we will get married one of these days and we're both looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together. There is definately something to be said about the comfort you feel when you just KNOW!!!:bblol:

[snu]

Aww, it's so great to read everyone's story! What a nice group we have going! :flower:

[alli816]

Yay! I'm glad that we're all in this together! Princess, it sounds like we have a lot in common, as my boyfriend also is saving for a ring that he thinks will be "sufficient", but I've been planning a lot recently. It's hard to do without a real budget though, because I know that my parents and his father will most likely be contributing, but I feel weird asking them before we're "official". And Mary Ann, I'm glad that you think this is a good topic! I saw that there were at least a few in that ring thread that were pre-engaged, thats where I got the idea! I'm very happy that we're not the only ones! :sweatdrop:

I'm so glad you started this thread.....I guess we're not the only ones in the Pre-engaged stage.....:flower:

[princessbridezilla]

lisa, that is a gorgeous promise ring! i'm assuming it is your and his birthstones?? that is so romantic.

mandaj, have you picked out a ring style or are you leaving it up to him? i'm expecting parents to chip in too but i figure when the official time comes i'll have shopped around enough to know how much i'll need to ask for.

i'm becoming wedding obsessed lately. must be that spring is in the air. well, at least my BF doesn't think i'm nuts, or else he does and loves me anyway!!

ok, i'm going to try to post a photo of my promise ring. hope it works. it matches the necklace he gave me for our first christmas together.

http://girlsgoneglamorous.com/library/200651713101674764.jpg

[alli816]

lisa, that is a gorgeous promise ring! i'm assuming it is your and his birthstones?? that is so romantic.

mandaj, have you picked out a ring style or are you leaving it up to him? i'm expecting parents to chip in too but i figure when the official time comes i'll have shopped around enough to know how much i'll need to ask for.

i'm becoming wedding obsessed lately. must be that spring is in the air. well, at least my BF doesn't think i'm nuts, or else he does and loves me anyway!!

ok, i'm going to try to post a photo of my promise ring. hope it works. it matches the necklace he gave me for our first christmas together.


http://girlsgoneglamorous.com/library/200651713101674764.jpg

Its a very pretty ring......

[*Lisa*]

Oo your's is a very pretty ring as well!!

And yes, my ring is our birthstones with our names engraved beside the corresponding stone.

I'm really glad this thread was started too :) Gives all of us waiting for our rings a chance to talk and be anxious/excited together!

[alli816]

Oo your's is a very pretty ring as well!!

And yes, my ring is our birthstones with our names engraved beside the corresponding stone.

I'm really glad this thread was started too :) Gives all of us waiting for our rings a chance to talk and be anxious/excited together!

I totally agree and if we have a bad day....we have each other to pick us up...I just love OneWed....:flower:

[Nekochanpurr]

Hehe, aww.. i had a promise ring.. But it turned my finger green! XD

[LadyDante]

Hehe, aww.. i had a promise ring.. But it turned my finger green! XD

Don't feel so bad. Mine gave me a horrible rash. Sterling silver my behind.

[Nekochanpurr]

Heh. He still hates it when i say 'green finger'. Bwha.

[mandaj10]

Here is my promise ring...
http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/mandaj08_photos/IMG_0488-1.jpg
On my hand annnd...
http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll163/mandaj08_photos/IMG_0492-1.jpg
On an orange! I'm noticing that I need to get it cleaned!:purplex:
Princess, I have been helping my boyfriend with the ring shopping, but I'm not sure which cut I like best- princess, cushion, or radiant! So as of right now I'm no help lol! And farmgirl, its funny that you say that about the pull truck, because my FH is always asking me if he can do things to his regular truck to make sure its ok with me!

[alli816]

Mandaj10, your promise ring is beautiful... I have to say all the promise rings are beautiful......:flower:

[hughesfarmgirl]

I'm usually not on the internet much (will be less spring-fall with farming), but let me just say that it is so nice to be able to read and chat with all of you ladies. I'm at a conference for high ability education in Clarksville, Indiana for 2 days and 2 nights and am really bored when we aren't in meetings. PS-They're evidently reroofing the hotel that we're staying at and they started at 6am and go until after 9pm (annoying).
Also, I just wanted to tell everyone that your promise rings are beautiful!
Have a great week everyone!
:cloppy:

[alli816]

I'm usually not on the internet much (will be less spring-fall with farming), but let me just say that it is so nice to be able to read and chat with all of you ladies. I'm at a conference for high ability education in Clarksville, Indiana for 2 days and 2 nights and am really bored when we aren't in meetings. PS-They're evidently reroofing the hotel that we're staying at and they started at 6am and go until after 9pm (annoying).
Also, I just wanted to tell everyone that your promise rings are beautiful!
Have a great week everyone!
:cloppy:

You too...Good luck with your conference.....:flower:

[mandaj10]

Today I was just bouncing around on *******, and on one of their forums, I see something about an engagement chicken recipie...? Apparently, if you cook it, it is supposed to make your man propose. I'm not sure if it was a joke or not, though, because the women on there seemed really mean and uppity about already being engaged (one of the many reasons I love onewed!).
Has anyone else heard of this?

[RosieAngel]

The people at *******.com are uppity about EVERYTHING. Onewed is so much better!

I never heard of this fabled recipe, but I'd love to see it!

Oh, and I hope you don't mind my posting here. I WAS pre-engaged, and ARGH it was frustrating! The only reason? FH was agonizing over getting me the BESTEST RING EVUR, while I didn't really care about the ring. At one point, he was trying to ask my opinion on rings and tried showing me a bagillion custom designs, and I got distracted and carelessly quipped that I'd be happy with anything as long as it came with a proposal. Heck, he could get me a plain gold band and I'd be thrilled! He then BURST INTO TEARS like a kid whose balloon just got popped. I felt so bad!

This was the placeholder ring I bought myself while I was visiting venues/wedding dress salons during the time FH worked out his issues. Everyone thought it was real!

http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?ItemID=1221999&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=PRD&ShowMenu=T&ShopBy=0&SearchString=platinum+dreams&RefPage=SearchDepartment.aspx&CmCatId=SearchResults&Search1Prod=True

[mandaj10]

THE FABLED RECIPE!

1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
2 medium lemons
Fresh lemon juice (1/2 cup)
Kosher or sea salt
Ground black pepperPlace rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400 degrees. Wash chicken inside and out with cold water, remove the giblets, then let the chicken drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room temp (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels. Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season with salt and pepper. Prick the whole lemons three times with a fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard, roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place the bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to 350 degrees and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn it breast-side up (use wooden spoons!); return it to oven for 35 minutes more. Test for doneness—a meat thermometer inserted in the thigh should read 180 degrees, or juices should run clear when chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let chicken cool for a few minutes before carving. Serve with juices.

I guess the deal is that it makes your FH think that you will be a good wife since you can cook, and then he will think marriage and wa-laa! You're engaged! The thing is, I don't think anybody here has to convince their FH that they're bride material- he already knows!
And Rosie, I think its great that you post here and I'm sure nobody else minds! Like you said, you were once pre-engaged, and you went through all the frustration, too! I wear my pre-engagement ring like its the real thing for now, since it looks kind of like an engagement ring. One day I went to David's Bridal with my sister (she was looking for a prom dress), I tried to use it as "the ring" and try on some wedding dresses, just for fun. The saleslady scoped out my left hand, made this face, and continued to be a big fat snob the entire time. I guess it wasn't big enough, but I don't care, when I do have the real thing, they are definately not getting my business!

[RosieAngel]

Haha, it's lemon-chicken! I learned to make that when I was 12. XD It's impossible to screw up, so yeah, that's a good choice for impressing your man!

Haha, when I started dating Kane, I cooked for us because I like cooking better than going out to eat, and with the exception of a few Asian ethnic foods, I can cook most anything as well as in a restaurant. Part of me thinks that's why he was so intent on keeping me! Though he suddenly un-learned how to cook... Kinda fishy if you ask me. ;)

Wow, the saleslady at my DB was totally nice to me, even though my fake ring was pretty small! I'm surprised yours was so uppity, since I don't exactly think of haute couture when I think of David's, if you know what I mean.

But yeah, it was weird. We set a fake date (October 11th) that promptly got changed after we got engaged and everything...

[MrsDM]

My best advice to you ladies in the pre-engagement stages is enjoy this while it lasts. Don't get me wrong, I love planning our wedding and love the ring he gave me, but all the anticipation leading up the the proposal was the best so far. There is not a day that I look down at my finger and think about him on one knee and me just balling.

Although, I am sure that once the wedding day is here and gone, I'll look back and say the same thing!!

[hughesfarmgirl]

Well ladies...I have amazing news. I came home from my conference on Wednesday (I posted on this thread on Tuesday). After a long and busy evening Jason and I were laying in bed talking and were getting ready to go to sleep. I thought he was turning the light off on the nightstand and was making noise. We'd already kissed and I had rolled onto my stomach waiting to be wrapped up in his arms to fall asleep (11:30pm). Jason said "I have something for you" and I thought 'awe..he missed me and got me a card or something'. Jason hadn't been feeling good and had just taken some Nyquil. He said "are you nervous" I got confused and laughed...asking "is the Nyquil getting to you, what do I have to be nervous about?" I asked if I could roll over and see or if I needed to close my eyes. I had already closed my eyes and he told me not to roll over. I felt something in front of my face, so I opened my eyes while I heard him say "Will you marry me" and saw a ring in a box in front of me!!!! Of course I said YES!!! I am SO excited!!! :ura1:So far we've told most of our families and they are all thrilled and excited. We have not decided on a date, but are sort of waiting if I get a full-time contracted job for fall before we decide on that for sure. Our goal is to be married by the end of 2009. :soppy:
SIDENOTE: I also agree that a lot (not all) of the Knotties are pretty uppity and greatly appreciate the support I see for fellow onewed's on this site. I hope you are all having a great weekend and hope that you too move from the pre-engaged to the newly engaged!:)
:cloppy:

[Nekochanpurr]

Yay!! Congrats to you!!

[snu]

YAY! Congrats! What a sweet proposal!

[RosieAngel]

That's a cute proposal, congratulations! I hope your FH feels better soon, too...

[MrsDM]

Ah! YEY! Congrats!

[alli816]

What a sweet proposal....congrats to you.....:flower:

[alli816]

My best advice to you ladies in the pre-engagement stages is enjoy this while it lasts. Don't get me wrong, I love planning our wedding and love the ring he gave me, but all the anticipation leading up the the proposal was the best so far. There is not a day that I look down at my finger and think about him on one knee and me just balling.

Although, I am sure that once the wedding day is here and gone, I'll look back and say the same thing!!


Thank you for saying this....bc I was totally wrapped up in getting the ring bc I want him to ask but I need to just chill out and relax....we have the date set and we are getting married...wow....Now I finally get it its an important thing for him to propose and to get the ring so I have to be patient......and I totally agree once we are I'm sure it will get hectic with Wedding plans......

[alli816]

Well ladies...I have amazing news. I came home from my conference on Wednesday (I posted on this thread on Tuesday). After a long and busy evening Jason and I were laying in bed talking and were getting ready to go to sleep. I thought he was turning the light off on the nightstand and was making noise. We'd already kissed and I had rolled onto my stomach waiting to be wrapped up in his arms to fall asleep (11:30pm). Jason said "I have something for you" and I thought 'awe..he missed me and got me a card or something'. Jason hadn't been feeling good and had just taken some Nyquil. He said "are you nervous" I got confused and laughed...asking "is the Nyquil getting to you, what do I have to be nervous about?" I asked if I could roll over and see or if I needed to close my eyes. I had already closed my eyes and he told me not to roll over. I felt something in front of my face, so I opened my eyes while I heard him say "Will you marry me" and saw a ring in a box in front of me!!!! Of course I said YES!!! I am SO excited!!! :ura1:So far we've told most of our families and they are all thrilled and excited. We have not decided on a date, but are sort of waiting if I get a full-time contracted job for fall before we decide on that for sure. Our goal is to be married by the end of 2009. :soppy:
SIDENOTE: I also agree that a lot (not all) of the Knotties are pretty uppity and greatly appreciate the support I see for fellow onewed's on this site. I hope you are all having a great weekend and hope that you too move from the pre-engaged to the newly engaged!:)
:cloppy:

Now dont forget we need to see a pic of the beautiful ring.............

[mandaj10]

Aww YAAAAAYY!!!! I'm so happy for you! And you didn't even have to cook the chicken! :bblol: Congratulations! And I agree, we need to see that ring PRONTO!

[hughesfarmgirl]

For some stupid reason my camera will not take a picture that doesn't turn completely white (maybe because I'm too pale)...I'm gonna get out the big camera and see if I can't get a more clear picture of it. If not I'll try to find it on the internet.

[Yellowhairedgirl]

I just joined and am also pre-engaged. We bought a house together last year, meaning the ring took a back seat. We have been together officially for almost 5 years, so I'm hoping the official question will come soon.

[princessbridezilla]

ok, hughesfarmgirl you're officially booted out of the P-E'd club. but don't worry, we'll all be joining you over there soon enough!

now let's see that rock!!!!:bblol:

(see if your camera has a "macro" setting. that will allow you to take very close up shots. and if there's too much reflection try turning off the flash and use natural light.)

[mandaj10]

I just remembered that we had this thread!:bblol:
Any updates for anybody?
As for me, nothing yet, but the boyfriend said something under his breath the other day, about having a ring by the family Christmas party. I'm like OMG! and he goes all "What? I didn't say anything..." :bbrolleyes:

[*Lisa*]

I have an update...I am no longer pre-engaged!!!

We're on our trip in Florida and he proposed yesterday!!! :) It was so awesome. Can't get any better than Mickey Mouse & a beautiful ring! :) Photos will follow!

[Scrwballsgrl]

For some stupid reason my camera will not take a picture that doesn't turn completely white (maybe because I'm too pale)...I'm gonna get out the big camera and see if I can't get a more clear picture of it. If not I'll try to find it on the internet.

Dont feel bad in all the pictures I tried to take of my ring, the quality of the pic's were strewed... If the ring came in clear my hand was distorted and vice versa if my hand ws visable the ring was just a white smear on my finger:)

[alli816]

I have an update...I am no longer pre-engaged!!!

We're on our trip in Florida and he proposed yesterday!!! :) It was so awesome. Can't get any better than Mickey Mouse & a beautiful ring! :) Photos will follow!

aww congrats....how sweet...well for me I'm still in the pre-engaged stage...

[mandaj10]

I have an update...I am no longer pre-engaged!!!

We're on our trip in Florida and he proposed yesterday!!! :) It was so awesome. Can't get any better than Mickey Mouse & a beautiful ring! :) Photos will follow!
Yay Congratulations! I saw your ring in the Rings forum... very beautiful!

[princessbridezilla]

congratulations lisa!!!!!

i'm still waiting for my ring- bf is still saving money. but we talk about our wedding all the time whoohoo:

[snu]

Congrats, Lisa!

Well, I think my time is coming fairly soon! I know he'll have the ring within another month or so! :D I can't wait!

[MrsDM]

Thank you for saying this....bc I was totally wrapped up in getting the ring bc I want him to ask but I need to just chill out and relax....we have the date set and we are getting married...wow....Now I finally get it its an important thing for him to propose and to get the ring so I have to be patient......and I totally agree once we are I'm sure it will get hectic with Wedding plans......

I'm glad it helped! I know, it seems like the days are dragging on until you get your ring. But, I promise you, it will be here before you know it!

[MrsDM]

Congrats Lisa! Welcome to the E-club!:D

[*Lisa*]

Thanks very much!!! It feels amazing being part of the E-Club :) I've been waiting for a really long time and I couldn't be any happier with the ring & the proposal itself.

[brechild]

I too have finally received my ring & had it slipped on my finger. It is really exciting. I have two jobs & my first job is physical labor so I don't wear it there but I wear it to my second job which is just computer typing :) I have received a lot of wonderful compliments & especially things like, "wow that is a big stone!!!" haha...:bbredface: Which has actually taken awhile to get used to...but it has been well worth the wait to get a ring that I LOVE!!! I bought my FH a high end computer for his engagement present *he works at home*

Now, I feel truly engaged & have been planning all the aspects of the wedding! I am meeting with the catering manager this week and my excitement keeps building! Congrats to all you ladies!

[MrsDM]

Congrats! And a big welcome to the E-club for you too! :D

[alli816]

Hey Ladies, I'm still pre-engaged but I think its coming soon now like maybe for my Birthday which is the end of June...so i'm excited plus I have been doing good I havent brought it up....I'm just enjoy spending time with him now....its not worth the frustration worrying about the ring.....

[Hope75]

Hi Ladies,

I'm new here, every one seems so friendly.

I have a question though.... I see a lot of women are planning a wedding without actually having been asked to get married.

With no ring and no proposal, you are setting wedding dates and planning a wedding?

It seems a bit backwards to me. How are you planning a wedding and setting a date with your bf if he hasn't asked you to marry him? I understand that you don't need a ring to be engaged, but what about a proposal before you actually plan? Am I missing something here?

[*Lisa*]

Well, in my case, we've been together for almost 7 years. When we first started dating we were 15 and 18. We knew that we were going to get married, but age and life events (College, jobs, lack of money, etc) were getting in the way.

We've talked for a few years about wedding themes, who's in our wedding party, etc. Sure things have changed over the years, but essentially its just been gathering ideas. What's wrong with openly talking about it and starting a small amount of planning if you know it's going to happen eventually?

In our case, we started looking at resorts, colour themes, etc but I didn't have a ring or hadn't been officially asked, but we knew it was coming sometime this year. My FH (official 2 weeks ago) was helping me do this the whole time. We knew that right when he was done college we were going to get married, thus leading to our May 2010 date.

People in long term relationships or that just know its going to happen and that its "right" will just talk about those things naturally. A lot of the people here that are "pre-engaged" have planned a bit, but for the most part haven't been putting down deposits or anything like that. I personally, don't really see anything wrong with it.

[EarlyBird]

I am engaged and have been for a year, but after reading the discussion brought up by poster "hope" Wanted to add that we get many "pre-engaged" oneweders on here. Most of them have known that it was coming, some even had picked the ring and knew exactly what it was and their 'fh" were just waiting to surprise them.
Alot of people are skeptics about girls who claim they are "pre-engaged" but if you are engaged most of you knew it was coming. it was a disucssion with your bf etc. and if it wasnt, quite frankly, im not sure marriage is a good route. personally i would be put off if my fh didnt mention he wanted to ask me before he actually asked me.
just a little input. I know before we even got enagaged fh and i knew who was in our wedding party, what year and what colors we wanted. Those are just things you talk about

[Hope75]

Well, in my case, we've been together for almost 7 years. When we first started dating we were 15 and 18. We knew that we were going to get married, but age and life events (College, jobs, lack of money, etc) were getting in the way.

We've talked for a few years about wedding themes, who's in our wedding party, etc. Sure things have changed over the years, but essentially its just been gathering ideas. What's wrong with openly talking about it and starting a small amount of planning if you know it's going to happen eventually?

In our case, we started looking at resorts, colour themes, etc but I didn't have a ring or hadn't been officially asked, but we knew it was coming sometime this year. My FH (official 2 weeks ago) was helping me do this the whole time. We knew that right when he was done college we were going to get married, thus leading to our May 2010 date.

People in long term relationships or that just know its going to happen and that its "right" will just talk about those things naturally. A lot of the people here that are "pre-engaged" have planned a bit, but for the most part haven't been putting down deposits or anything like that. I personally, don't really see anything wrong with it.

I understand long term couples talking about things like colors, and who they'd want in their wedding parties etc, that is a normal part of feeling out a wedding with each other. My guy and I were together almost 5 years and living together for over 4 years when we got engaged last year. We had talked about being married eventually and some of those details too- I don't consider that planning, just talking.

But some of the women on this thread I believe talked about booking reception halls, choosing a date, looking at/buying a dress, etc. At that point, when you are actively planning a wedding, it seems silly not to have become formally engaged. Does that make sense? If you are at the point in your lives when you can and do start actively planning a wedding, doesn't it make sense that the first step is proposing and becoming formally engaged?

[brechild]

My boyfriend & I have been talking about/planning our wedding for over a year. However, the venue we wanted said it wouldn't book anyone until 11 months out, that is the earliest. So, we decided to not be officially engaged until I could find a ring I love to wear & wouldn't cost a mint or put us into debt & so it would give me time to really consider what I wanted. I know it has been coming all along. Most people in a long term relationship want it to progress. I think there is nothing wrong with planning/thinking about things, etc. without having an "official" engagement.

[princessbridezilla]

I understand long term couples talking about things like colors, and who they'd want in their wedding parties etc, that is a normal part of feeling out a wedding with each other. My guy and I were together almost 5 years and living together for over 4 years when we got engaged last year. We had talked about being married eventually and some of those details too- I don't consider that planning, just talking.

that's about where we're at also. we went looking at rings two years ago, when we first started dating/living together. since then we've been saving money and working on our careers, etc. lately we've been talking alot about the actual details- we want to be married by 2010 and i really want a spring wedding. so we've picked out alot of things- me more than him:redface:- and i have a file on my computer of vendors to check out etc, but we haven't actually booked anything yet. i consider it planning- not just talking- to an extent- but that's just different perspective on word definitions. i do feel- for me and him- that we should be "formally" engaged before we do that.

maybe i just have spring fever?:flower::soppy:

[RosieAngel]

I understand long term couples talking about things like colors, and who they'd want in their wedding parties etc, that is a normal part of feeling out a wedding with each other. My guy and I were together almost 5 years and living together for over 4 years when we got engaged last year. We had talked about being married eventually and some of those details too- I don't consider that planning, just talking.

But some of the women on this thread I believe talked about booking reception halls, choosing a date, looking at/buying a dress, etc. At that point, when you are actively planning a wedding, it seems silly not to have become formally engaged. Does that make sense? If you are at the point in your lives when you can and do start actively planning a wedding, doesn't it make sense that the first step is proposing and becoming formally engaged?

While this does make sense, life often doesn't.

For example, my first "proposal" from my man was, "Hey, which engagement ring design do you like best?" *shows me some Adobe Illustrator files* I designed these myself!"

Me: Are you asking me to marry you?
Him: Well, I will as soon as I have the ring.
Me: Excuse me while I let go of my girlish notions of romance.
Him: Romance is cheap. Rings are expensive! Do you like it?
Me: I'll like anything you pick out for me, as long as I'm surprised.

Let's go buy you a dress while you're waiting! Look, I picked out this one! *shows me an HIDEOUS designer wedding dress* I called, and this bridal salon has it in your size! You're an 8, right?

Immediately, I rushed out with my best friend to buy the dress I wanted. The ring he wanted to make arrived a month later.

I think a lot of the ladies here on onewed have their reasons for doing things...

[mandaj10]

But some of the women on this thread I believe talked about booking reception halls, choosing a date, looking at/buying a dress, etc. At that point, when you are actively planning a wedding, it seems silly not to have become formally engaged. Does that make sense? If you are at the point in your lives when you can and do start actively planning a wedding, doesn't it make sense that the first step is proposing and becoming formally engaged?

My opinion (for what its worth):
If they are putting down deposits, yet still waiting for a ring, I would consider them "engaged"... whether they actually have the ring or not. Some people have a vision and a time frame and what ever else they want for their wedding, so, in the case that the "FH" is onboard with it, they go ahead and book. In the time between then, I'm sure an engagement ring will show up, if that is what they want. The problem with that? You tell me.
Those of us not booking just yet (myself included) are just gathering ideas and making loose plans, while waiting for their [boyfriend, future husband, whatever you want to call it] to drop to one knee and dazzle them.
Perhaps my opinion is biased, but I really do not see what it is hurting. My boyfriend and I have talked about a wedding, know what we want, and so we are "planning." Our earliest projected date is two years away, so it's really just light planning. But I believe that it is never too soon to prepare, especially for an event as big as your wedding. Meanwhile, I wait for FH to present me with an engagment ring that he knows I will love, because we hint-shopped together. I don't care how long it takes, it could be years, it could be past our planned date, but as long as I get him in the end, that's all that matters to me!:soppy:

[Hope75]

My boyfriend & I have been talking about/planning our wedding for over a year. However, the venue we wanted said it wouldn't book anyone until 11 months out, that is the earliest. So, we decided to not be officially engaged until I could find a ring I love to wear & wouldn't cost a mint or put us into debt & so it would give me time to really consider what I wanted. I know it has been coming all along. Most people in a long term relationship want it to progress. I think there is nothing wrong with planning/thinking about things, etc. without having an "official" engagement.

See here's where I get lost. You don't need a ring to be engaged. All you need is a proposal and a commitment to each other to be engaged to be married- than you can take your time finding the ring you want and booking venues. If you aren't engaged, why visit reception venues and look at dates? What is your guy waiting for, if he's clearly on board with looking at reception sites? This is the part I don't understand I guess.

[Hope75]

My opinion (for what its worth):
If they are putting down deposits, yet still waiting for a ring, I would consider them "engaged"... whether they actually have the ring or not. Some people have a vision and a time frame and what ever else they want for their wedding, so, in the case that the "FH" is onboard with it, they go ahead and book. In the time between then, I'm sure an engagement ring will show up, if that is what they want. The problem with that? You tell me.
Those of us not booking just yet (myself included) are just gathering ideas and making loose plans, while waiting for their [boyfriend, future husband, whatever you want to call it] to drop to one knee and dazzle them.
Perhaps my opinion is biased, but I really do not see what it is hurting. My boyfriend and I have talked about a wedding, know what we want, and so we are "planning." Our earliest projected date is two years away, so it's really just light planning. But I believe that it is never too soon to prepare, especially for an event as big as your wedding. Meanwhile, I wait for FH to present me with an engagment ring that he knows I will love, because we hint-shopped together. I don't care how long it takes, it could be years, it could be past our planned date, but as long as I get him in the end, that's all that matters to me!:soppy:

I understand what you are saying- and to me that is talking about a possible wedding once you get engaged (my guy and I did the same before getting engaged). But again, I agree with you that you don't need a ring to get engaged, just a proposal. Talking about potential ideas and venues= just talking. Putting down deposits on reception venues= planning.

I'm not saying it's 'hurting' anyone persay, I just don't see the sense in planning a wedding, shopping for a dress, putting deposits on a hall, etc, when your guy hasn't asked you to marry him. If he's looking with you, what is he waiting for to ask you?

I'm not trying to ruffle anyone's feathers, I'm just trying to make sense of it, does that make sense?

[TangoWedding]

I think the problem here lies in what you consider "engaged". I personally consider "engaged" as having the proposal and the ring.

With that said, however, I had already bought my dress and we had booked our photographer and reception site BEFORE I got the 'official, down-on-one-knee' proposal. Thus my being "pre-engaged."

As far as "what is he waiting for?"....well, that differs with every woman, I'm sure. Maybe someone is waiting for the perfect ring. Maybe they're waiting to pay off their last credit card. Maybe they're waiting to hear if they got the new job. Who knows? And, really, who cares? If they're both on the same page and know it's going to happen, there's no reason to not start planning - it takes forever, may as well get it going!

I considered myself "pre-engaged" for about 3 months. We had been planning and looking for rings and then finally custom-ordered one that took forevvvvvvver to get in. In the end, I got my dreamy proposal and my ring...and by then, we'd already taken care of nearly all the big purchases.

Nothing wrong with that at all! :grinhappy:

Now, if there are girls booking venues and their boyfriends don't know about it? Yeah...that's an issue. LOL! But I don't think that's the case with anyone here.

[RosieAngel]

I don't understand it either, but a lot of guys don't want to "officially" propose until there is a ring. I think one part primal hunter-gatherer type thing and one part showing off, since many people view the size and the quality of the ring as a status symbol, and, to some people, the lack of an appropriate ring symbolizes the lack of a future husband's status. And if there's one thing most men hate, it's being told that they're poor providers (even if they are).

I only really knew two ladies who didn't have e-rings, and in both of their cases, their fiances could hardly afford the plain gold w-band (one was a struggling grad student and the other was a young, struggling soldier fresh out of the Korean war), in which case, no biggie, right? The love and the commitment in a proposal is more important than a ring.

But a lot of the future fiances of the pre-engaged can afford rings, nice ones, and they don't want to be grouped in with the poor men who can't. They overthink the silly ring while acting like engaged men and expecting us to act like engaged women without clearly stating that we're engaged... it's a mess.

Thankfully, the only thing I ended up with in advance was a dress, and I figured that, in the extremely unlikely event he changed his mind about marrying me, I could ebay it and get most of the wasted money back.

[Hope75]

What you ladies are saying makes sense. I guess I've always been a traditional kind of girl in that I believe that there needs to be a proposal before you actively start planning a wedding. I've been with my FI for almost 6 years now and living together over 5, and I've known from pretty much the beginning that he was going to be the one I would marry, but we didn't start looking at halls, booking vendors, dress shopping, etc until he had asked me and we made the official declaration that we were engaged (which by definition, is the period of time a couple accepts a marriage proposal and begins to actively plan a wedding.). I suppose to each his own!

[mandaj10]

I understand what you are saying- and to me that is talking about a possible wedding once you get engaged (my guy and I did the same before getting engaged). But again, I agree with you that you don't need a ring to get engaged, just a proposal. Talking about potential ideas and venues= just talking. Putting down deposits on reception venues= planning.

I'm not saying it's 'hurting' anyone persay, I just don't see the sense in planning a wedding, shopping for a dress, putting deposits on a hall, etc, when your guy hasn't asked you to marry him. If he's looking with you, what is he waiting for to ask you?

I'm not trying to ruffle anyone's feathers, I'm just trying to make sense of it, does that make sense?
I understand what you mean. It does seem like you would want an actual proposal before getting all the particulars together. I started this thread for those of us who were waiting for a proposal, and in the meanwhile waiting for their e-ring (or proposal without one) and just wanted to talk about such things.
Sometimes it gets frustrating being faked out by the boyfriend. For example, this weekend, while planning a trip out of state with David next May, he said something about it being our "pre-engagment" trip. About a month before, he had said something about being engaged before his family's Christmas party this December. It kind of made my heart fall a little. Then again, maybe he's just trying to trick me! :bbconfused: Who knows but him...

[Thalia_themuse]

I am new here, but would also consider myself pre-engaged... My partner has given me a time frame though - a proposal sometime between now and our 4 year dating anniversary (in September). I have already decided on the kind of dress I want for myself and my bridal party... My partner likes the colour scheme, and we have both agreed on who we want as our attendants. I am not a traditional person, and have already told him that I would not want a traditional wedding.

We have a date picked out, and it is still more than 3 years away... this means a 3 year engagement but that is what I specifically requested. I have issues with panic attacks, stress, procrastination and need everything planned out well in advance or I freak out. I need to plan for possibilities in case I am not given enough time. It is unfortunate that I do not deal with these things well, but my partner understands, and is very gracious about it. He wants me to be happy and have the wedding that I want. Some people think it's weird that I am already thinking/planning aspects of my wedding, but that's because they don't understand that if I had a shorter time frame to plan a wedding then I would freak out and it wouldn't go ahead.

I have done a lot of reading about the issues with traditional vs. modern weddings, and there are a LOT of writers/planners/counselors etc. that advise that it is better to throw tradition to the wind than to organize something you don't like. To me, the pre-engagement period is about sensible planning (or about male procrastination) - it means that a couple is very open and communicative about their plans, wishes and desires. I have found that women in this situation then get excited about the prospect and want to start planning as soon as they know that they will have a wedding - whether it is official or not. In the end, just because you are being practical and well-planned doesn't mean you don't still want a nice ring and a lovely proposal!!

[Hope75]

I understand what you mean. It does seem like you would want an actual proposal before getting all the particulars together. I started this thread for those of us who were waiting for a proposal, and in the meanwhile waiting for their e-ring (or proposal without one) and just wanted to talk about such things.
Sometimes it gets frustrating being faked out by the boyfriend. For example, this weekend, while planning a trip out of state with David next May, he said something about it being our "pre-engagment" trip. About a month before, he had said something about being engaged before his family's Christmas party this December. It kind of made my heart fall a little. Then again, maybe he's just trying to trick me! :bbconfused: Who knows but him...

I think this post highlights what I am trying to say. When a couple (or woman) begins to plan a wedding without a formal proposal, and things like what happened to mandaj happen (i.e., she is expecting a proposal and every 'special' occasion ends up being a disappointment when it doesn't end with a proposal, or she finds herself comparing what he said 2 months ago to what he said now and finding inconsistencies, and she is left with doubt and insecurity, resentment, fear that it may not happen, etc.) you end up missing out on great moments in the relationship, or just enjoying it for what it is, because there is this 'expectation' that 'it's coming any minute....'... 'where is it?'... and creates a pressure on the man, and the relationship, and that can take away from what should be a happy and joyful time for a couple.

I think it's nice to just enjoy a relationship and look at it for what it is, you love your partner, you are happy together and you are in a committed relationship. What's wrong with that? Leave the marriage planning for when it's appropriate, when you become formally engaged and should be actively planning a wedding- when you are both on the same page and have shown that by making the formal commitment to be so by becoming engaged- which by definition is the time when you should be planning a wedding, and there are no questions about 'will he propose by the time our projected date arrives?' 'will we actually be engaged before I start picking out dresses that we may or may not wear?' 'when will it happen? when will my partner officially be on the same page as me by asking me to marry him?' 'when can we share the happy news that we've been planning a wedding by making it official?'

It just makes sense to me to actually be engaged first- then there's no doubts about when or if, how, etc. You are both on the same page, he has proven it by asking you, you can share it with everyone, and openly and actively plan. You are getting married.

[alli816]

I think this post highlights what I am trying to say. When a couple (or woman) begins to plan a wedding without a formal proposal, and things like what happened to mandaj happen (i.e., she is expecting a proposal and every 'special' occasion ends up being a disappointment when it doesn't end with a proposal, or she finds herself comparing what he said 2 months ago to what he said now and finding inconsistencies, and she is left with doubt and insecurity, resentment, fear that it may not happen, etc.) you end up missing out on great moments in the relationship, or just enjoying it for what it is, because there is this 'expectation' that 'it's coming any minute....'... 'where is it?'... and creates a pressure on the man, and the relationship, and that can take away from what should be a happy and joyful time for a couple.

I think it's nice to just enjoy a relationship and look at it for what it is, you love your partner, you are happy together and you are in a committed relationship. What's wrong with that? Leave the marriage planning for when it's appropriate, when you become formally engaged and should be actively planning a wedding- when you are both on the same page and have shown that by making the formal commitment to be so by becoming engaged- which by definition is the time when you should be planning a wedding, and there are no questions about 'will he propose by the time our projected date arrives?' 'will we actually be engaged before I start picking out dresses that we may or may not wear?' 'when will it happen? when will my partner officially be on the same page as me by asking me to marry him?' 'when can we share the happy news that we've been planning a wedding by making it official?'

It just makes sense to me to actually be engaged first- then there's no doubts about when or if, how, etc. You are both on the same page, he has proven it by asking you, you can share it with everyone, and openly and actively plan. You are getting married.


After reading what you said, wow now I feel horrible because I didnt want to pressure my FH and like you said I really need to relax and enjoy the time we spend together and the special occassions that I can cherish as well...but I do understand why this thread was started and I do appreciate that it was started. It was taking some pressure off of us girls who are just a little anxious me especially......

[Hope75]

After reading what you said, wow now I feel horrible because I didnt want to pressure my FH and like you said I really need to relax and enjoy the time we spend together and the special occassions that I can cherish as well...but I do understand why this thread was started and I do appreciate that it was started. It was taking some pressure off of us girls who are just a little anxious me especially......

I don't mean to make you or anyone feel 'horrible', only to bring awareness that while you are waiting, planning and (possibly inadvertently) pressuring your boyfriend to propose, you are missing out on enjoying your relationship to the fullest, and putting pressure on your partner to propose (simply by your actions of planning, even if you don't say as much), taking away the spontaneity and excitement he may have felt in surprising you with a proposal (even couples who know they will eventually get married do sometimes surprise each other with a proposal- that's what my fiance did with me.)

It just seems to me that expecting a proposal- and jumping ahead and planning a wedding that has not even officially been determined by an engagement takes away from the surprise and excitement of a proposal and the engagement. It's preempting your partner's proposal and taking that away from him (or her!) and making it an expectation, rather than a joyous surprise.

[crazydaizychiki]

I was pre engaged. I picked out the ring and he ordered it when i wasn't around and gave it to me on a trip up north like a month later :grinhappy: He was waiting for our romantic get away

[alli816]

I don't mean to make you or anyone feel 'horrible', only to bring awareness that while you are waiting, planning and (possibly inadvertently) pressuring your boyfriend to propose, you are missing out on enjoying your relationship to the fullest, and putting pressure on your partner to propose (simply by your actions of planning, even if you don't say as much), taking away the spontaneity and excitement he may have felt in surprising you with a proposal (even couples who know they will eventually get married do sometimes surprise each other with a proposal- that's what my fiance did with me.)

It just seems to me that expecting a proposal- and jumping ahead and planning a wedding that has not even officially been determined by an engagement takes away from the surprise and excitement of a proposal and the engagement. It's preempting your partner's proposal and taking that away from him (or her!) and making it an expectation, rather than a joyous surprise.
Actually in my situation, I havent really planned anything set in stone.....my Fh and I have talked about what we would want for the wedding and looked at our reception site and looked for a photographer and florist together...but we somehow not sure how we did but we have a date set but not officially engaged....my FH is not good at keeping secrets bc he plans to propose in a couple weeks when he comes back from VA....so anyways I'm am trying very hard just to relax and enjoy every minute I do get to spend with him and my children.....I had no idea it was going to be soon he spilled the beans to me.....like I said previously I'm glad the thread was started bc it gives us ladies a chance to express our feelings and to find someone else is going through the same thing. It helps us to talk with one another and not to express our feelings on our FH and make them more stressed out than they already are......

[RosieAngel]

I don't mean to make you or anyone feel 'horrible', only to bring awareness that while you are waiting, planning and (possibly inadvertently) pressuring your boyfriend to propose, you are missing out on enjoying your relationship to the fullest, and putting pressure on your partner to propose (simply by your actions of planning, even if you don't say as much), taking away the spontaneity and excitement he may have felt in surprising you with a proposal (even couples who know they will eventually get married do sometimes surprise each other with a proposal- that's what my fiance did with me.)

It just seems to me that expecting a proposal- and jumping ahead and planning a wedding that has not even officially been determined by an engagement takes away from the surprise and excitement of a proposal and the engagement. It's preempting your partner's proposal and taking that away from him (or her!) and making it an expectation, rather than a joyous surprise.

In my case, with FH trying to plan the wedding before we were engaged and treat me like a dress-up bridal doll, I take offense to this statement. I NEVER put any pressure on FH except to shut up and STOP PLANNING until he had a ring. During the time where he was having the ring commissioned, we had great times without any expectation of a proposal, and amazingly enough, he surprised me with it when I least expected it.

It's unfair to group everyone into the same stereotype simply because you consider yourself to be "traditional."

[snu]

I have not put any pressure on my boyfriend, either. I picked out a ring in October. I had the ring sized a week ago, and he'll probably pick it up next week. I've known a lot of the details about the ring (how much it would cost, when he was planning on purchasing it, etc) because we have mostly-joint finances, and we also think it's important to discuss major purchases such as this.

Since the time I picked out my ring, we naturally began talking (in rough terms) about what we wanted our day to look like, and what we'd like our budget to be. We've looked at venue websites, etc but we have not made any firm plans (although we are pretty sure we know where we'd like the reception to take place). I haven't gone dress shopping, and we haven't put any money down.

We know we are going to get married. We are discussing our lives and future together; by doing this, I don't think it means I am 'pressuring' him or anything of that nature. We talk about these things mutually, and while I admit the anticipation of getting the ring is starting to grow, I know our actual moment of engagement will be exciting. He says he plans on surprising me. I don't know exactly when he'll be picking up the ring, and I have no idea how he plans to propose. The past several months have been very fun-filled for us, and I certainly haven't let 'waiting for the ring' damper our time together. And I don't believe that since I know so much about my ring, that it will somehow cheapen the moment for us.

In the beginning, we disagreed on how much an engagement ring should cost. He wanted to spend more than I was comfortable with. So by both of us being involved in the process, we were able to find a ring at a price that we were both comfortable with.

[Hope75]

In my case, with FH trying to plan the wedding before we were engaged and treat me like a dress-up bridal doll, I take offense to this statement. I NEVER put any pressure on FH except to shut up and STOP PLANNING until he had a ring. During the time where he was having the ring commissioned, we had great times without any expectation of a proposal, and amazingly enough, he surprised me with it when I least expected it.

It's unfair to group everyone into the same stereotype simply because you consider yourself to be "traditional."

Again this is only my opinion, and it doesn't apply to all situations. It's simply my take on things. And, this situation is different because you are not the one doing all the planning- he is!

[Hope75]

I have not put any pressure on my boyfriend, either. I picked out a ring in October. I had the ring sized a week ago, and he'll probably pick it up next week. I've known a lot of the details about the ring (how much it would cost, when he was planning on purchasing it, etc) because we have mostly-joint finances, and we also think it's important to discuss major purchases such as this.

Since the time I picked out my ring, we naturally began talking (in rough terms) about what we wanted our day to look like, and what we'd like our budget to be. We've looked at venue websites, etc but we have not made any firm plans (although we are pretty sure we know where we'd like the reception to take place). I haven't gone dress shopping, and we haven't put any money down.

We know we are going to get married. We are discussing our lives and future together; by doing this, I don't think it means I am 'pressuring' him or anything of that nature. We talk about these things mutually, and while I admit the anticipation of getting the ring is starting to grow, I know our actual moment of engagement will be exciting. He says he plans on surprising me. I don't know exactly when he'll be picking up the ring, and I have no idea how he plans to propose. The past several months have been very fun-filled for us, and I certainly haven't let 'waiting for the ring' damper our time together. And I don't believe that since I know so much about my ring, that it will somehow cheapen the moment for us.

In the beginning, we disagreed on how much an engagement ring should cost. He wanted to spend more than I was comfortable with. So by both of us being involved in the process, we were able to find a ring at a price that we were both comfortable with.

This isn't really what I was talking about either- you and your boyfriend were both on board with picking a ring, having it sized, etc. You haven't picked a date, booked a hall, shopped for dresses, etc.

What I was talking about was the posters who had picked dates, looked at halls, etc without being engaged.

[snu]

Well, I don't see anything wrong with setting a date, or having a date in mind...it can be helpful with the general planning and budget. I personally don't want to put any deposits down at this point, but again, I don't really see a problem with it.

To each her own. I'm glad we have this thread to share our thoughts and ideas, though!

[Thalia_themuse]

I don't mean to make you or anyone feel 'horrible', only to bring awareness that while you are waiting, planning and (possibly inadvertently) pressuring your boyfriend to propose, you are missing out on enjoying your relationship to the fullest, and putting pressure on your partner to propose

In my case (and it seems for most people that have posted) - the planning and thinking about the wedding before the proposal comes directly from the man making it clear that he will propose. Thus if they then feel pressured into proposing, it is of their own device. If this conversation arises because a couple discusses everything and makes all big decisions together, then there is nothing wrong with doing some planning before making it 'official'. My partner and I settled on a date because it makes planning easier, and it is nice to have something tangible in mind. The waiting can be pretty annoying, but again, that really comes down to the man. If he didn't want to feel "pressured" to propose, why did he make it clear that he would? It is like if he said he would do the dishes or take you to the country for the weekend... Is it then unreasonable for you to expect him to follow through? Is it unfair to make plans regarding said trip, in case he then feels pressured to do as he has promised...? If he has said he will do it, then he will. If he's not the kind of guy to keep promises, then I know I sure as hell would not be with him. I get impatient which is why my partner has given me a rough time frame for when he will propose, that way I don't flip out too much.

[lisa826]

hey i'm in the pre-engaged stage. we have a date set but FH just hasn't gotten the ring yet. He's one of those sentimental guys and wants the whole proposal to be really special and memorable. he's got this whole plan that apparently his cousin's are helping him with. we've already started planning. not buying anything major (like my dress) or anything but i'm starting to get ideas about colors, how i want things to look, and keeping my eye out for great deals!

[Thalia_themuse]

I'm in a similar boat - my partner has told me he will propose and roughly when, but he still wants to actually DO it... I told him he doesn't have to, as its a mutual decision to get married, but he will anyway. Not that I mind terribly, it could be really sweet!

I've looked as dresses online but I won't physically go look at anything (or put money down) until we're officially engaged.

[lisa826]

I'm in a similar boat - my partner has told me he will propose and roughly when, but he still wants to actually DO it... I told him he doesn't have to, as its a mutual decision to get married, but he will anyway. Not that I mind terribly, it could be really sweet!

I've looked as dresses online but I won't physically go look at anything (or put money down) until we're officially engaged.

that sounds a lot like me except i told my FH i wanted him to surprise me. even tho i know he's going to do it i haven't a clue when or how. we've been talking about it for about 6 months so we both know it's coming and we can't wait. since my family lives out of state and both our families are quite large we have pretty much already set a date because there are alot of things coming up next year we have to plan around. I've looked at dresses online too but i told him i wouldn't buy or try anything on till i had the ring on my finger. the only thing i've bought is flower petals i found extremely cheap and a flower girl basket i got for $1, nothing major

[alli816]

The more I think about this what harm is it to have a theme idea and look at dresses and check out halls if you and your fh are in it together. So what if you have a date before you are officially engaged. My FH was in Iraq for over a year and we met when he came in on leave for 2 weeks and corresponded for 8 months of his tour. We officially started dating in October and we have been blessed ever since. He actually wants the proposal to be traditional everything else with the wedding plans is not. But I really respect him for that bc he's not just taking on a wife he's taking on a family and major responsibilities that come with this everlasing decision. So what if this isnt the Traditional way. This thread was started just to ease some of the minds of the woman that are going through the same things.

[princessbridezilla]

yeah, i don't really appreciate the "why would you do (whatever wedding planning) when you're not "officially engaged" yet?"

bugger off already.

the whole reason we started this thread is because we understand each other. not because we feel we have to justify our actions. we're in a different category- somewhere between just being in a relationship and "officially engaged".

anyways, me and my not-officially-engaged-to-yet boyfriend are going to look at a ceremony/reception venue this saturday. i want to see what everything looks like now because this is the time of year i want to have our wedding. i'm excited!!!!

also, my mom and i are going to a trunk show to look at the new collection by a designer whose gowns i'm totally in love with.

[RosieAngel]

yeah, i don't really appreciate the "why would you do (whatever wedding planning) when you're not "officially engaged" yet?"

bugger off already.

the whole reason we started this thread is because we understand each other. not because we feel we have to justify our actions. we're in a different category- somewhere between just being in a relationship and "officially engaged".

anyways, me and my not-officially-engaged-to-yet boyfriend are going to look at a ceremony/reception venue this saturday. i want to see what everything looks like now because this is the time of year i want to have our wedding. i'm excited!!!!

also, my mom and i are going to a trunk show to look at the new collection by a designer whose gowns i'm totally in love with.

Oooh, I hope you'll take pics!! I want to see!

[alli816]

OH yes if you can take pics....oh and if you go to the trunk sale you never know you might find a dress....good luck shopping......

[mandaj10]

I believe that you misunderstood my post... probably my fault! :bbredface:
I was just slightly glum about his inconsistencies because... I don't know... I'm excited to be officially the "Fiance!" I'm really not pressuring him at all, I keep these feelings to myself because I DON'T want him to feel pressured to propose... I want it to be at the right moment of his choosing, natural and perfect; the way we both want it! All in all, I would want the proposal to be a surprise, and I'm happy he's tricky the way he is so that I don't figure things out.
I agree with others that said that the "pre-engagment" stage is the point in time where you have talked about and agreed that you both would love to spend the rest of your lives together, but for whatever reason (finances, element of surprise, etc.) there is no ring yet. I feel that whatever the couple is comfortable doing in this time (regarding planning their wedding, be it just looking or actually doing) is their business. But, that is just my opinion. Others are free to agree and disagree as they please.
I thought of this thread so that others like me, who were awaiting a ring, yet still planning to whatever degree they may be, could talk about it, share stories when they do get engaged, or share their frustrations when one of those maybe-just-a-little-bit anticipated dates comes and goes without a ring. And I really love the fact that all of you ladies are here for me and each other, sharing insight and stories and encouragement ! :grinhappy: You all rock!

[Thalia_themuse]

:) I agree that it was a great idea to start this thread, this way we're not in the way of the officially engaged but can still chat!

I'm in the "i wonder if he'll ask me this weekend..?" stage a bit too :P I'm glad I have a general time frame, but I still get excited about the possibility of it coming sooner rather than later... >_>

Anyways, those of us are posting are in the same boat here, so I think its great that we can support each other :)

[alli816]

I totally agree mandja.....that is totally how I feel about this thread.... thanks again for starting it.....

[Hope75]

yeah, i don't really appreciate the "why would you do (whatever wedding planning) when you're not "officially engaged" yet?"

bugger off already.

the whole reason we started this thread is because we understand each other. not because we feel we have to justify our actions. we're in a different category- somewhere between just being in a relationship and "officially engaged".

anyways, me and my not-officially-engaged-to-yet boyfriend are going to look at a ceremony/reception venue this saturday. i want to see what everything looks like now because this is the time of year i want to have our wedding. i'm excited!!!!

also, my mom and i are going to a trunk show to look at the new collection by a designer whose gowns i'm totally in love with.

Now now, no need to get bent out of shape. As I said before, I am only asking questions, and stating my opinion, not the word of God or anything. I've been in long term relationships a few times before and I thought I would marry 2 of my exes and we talked about it ( a 5 year relationship and a 2 year relationship) and that didn't work out--before meeting my current guy of 6 years and actually getting engaged. It just doesn't make sense to me to plan and look when you aren't engaged. That doesn't mean it isn't working for you guys. I stated my opinion, that's all. No need to tell me to 'bugger off', instead perhaps "I disagree with you." would do the trick. I'm not asking anyone to 'justify' anything-and I haven't been rude to anyone, I'm just trying to understand where you are coming from because it doesn't make sense to me.:bbquestion:

[princessbridezilla]

Now now, no need to get bent out of shape. As I said before, I am only asking questions, and stating my opinion, not the word of God or anything. I've been in long term relationships a few times before and I thought I would marry 2 of my exes and we talked about it ( a 5 year relationship and a 2 year relationship) and that didn't work out--before meeting my current guy of 6 years and actually getting engaged. It just doesn't make sense to me to plan and look when you aren't engaged. That doesn't mean it isn't working for you guys. I stated my opinion, that's all. No need to tell me to 'bugger off', instead perhaps "I disagree with you." would do the trick. I'm not asking anyone to 'justify' anything-and I haven't been rude to anyone, I'm just trying to understand where you are coming from because it doesn't make sense to me.:bbquestion:

fair enough, i was just cranky yesterday and felt like getting up on a soapbox. :hug:

i can definitely understand why some would be cautious about getting ahead of yourself, so to speak, with planning things when it's not the right time in the relationship. god knows i've thought i would marry past boyfriends- and back then no it wasn't appropriate to plan anything.

i guess this is just the result of old traditions mixing with new-age mentality. we don't have words to define new categories so the definitions of old words get marred. on one hand he hasn't gotten down on one knee and proposed...on the other hand, we live together and are basically already functioning as a married couple. so calling him my "boyfriend" doesn't seem like enough, but he's not technically my "fiance" or "husband" yet (and saying "partner", in our neighborhood anyways, implies a same sex couple.

so, as you see, this is a thread for us who are all in that un-definable category. a little escape from all the "but you're not even engaged yet" people who look down their noses just because we don't have a ring on our finger. so you'll have to pardon my defensiveness. here, have another hug :hug: i didn't realize you were genuinely interested in understanding why we're doing the things we are.

[princessbridezilla]

OH yes if you can take pics....oh and if you go to the trunk sale you never know you might find a dress....good luck shopping......

oh, if they let me i will.

(and if they don't let me...i'll find a way to sneak 'em:fear:)

[princessbridezilla]

k, so, i wasn't allowed to take pictures of the dress fitting, for obvious reasons, but i have lots of venue photos, and i can post the dress designer's website photos.

i'll do it tomorrow...on another thread.

[princessbridezilla]

so, i posted the model photos of the two dresses i liked the best.

dress thread (http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=17192)

[brechild]

All this pre-engaged talk makes me laugh. Hello??? When is a girl NOT planning for a future wedding>>>thanks Disney, I've been waiting to fill the title roll of "prince" my whole life, but the supporting cast, crew, hell, even the key grip has been selected for my fairytale!

I think it's wonderful to have some ideas before you get engaged, because up until that point, most girls are swept away by the romance. I'm a huge SATC fan & of course I swooned when Big said, "that wasn't a proposal it was all business and no romance* {from the delicious movie, and yes I am paraphrasing because I can't remember the exact line, but I digress} :~)

Point being, hold onto to your tiara sisters!!! You're doing the best thing you can for yourself, by thinking of the business end because when you get your ring *or not, depending on your ring persuasion ideals* well, it's pretty much business~contracts, deposits, meetings, appointments, tastings, etc. In my opinion, I'm all business about this transaction because I refuse to be swept away by the dream of the "fairytale" {I refuse to go into debt to make my special day happen, hence why I'm using creativity, a well thought out & allocated budget, etc. to ensure the marriage is lasting even if the celebration can't be*

So, Hip hip hurrah for my pre-engaged ladies!! Now, I guess I'm officially engaged sense I got my rock, or as my lovely, practical boy would say, "that shiny thing I had to buy you to make you feel like we're really getting married...." haha...I haven't shared a pic of my ring, so I am posting it here>>>I waited a year & yes, I wanted a ring because well I like to sparkle and want to feel official :O)

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f166/brechild/Ring/ring-1.jpg

[mandaj10]

All this pre-engaged talk makes me laugh. Hello??? When is a girl NOT planning for a future wedding>>>thanks Disney, I've been waiting to fill the title roll of "prince" my whole life, but the supporting cast, crew, hell, even the key grip has been selected for my fairytale!

I think it's wonderful to have some ideas before you get engaged, because up until that point, most girls are swept away by the romance. I'm a huge SATC fan & of course I swooned when Big said, "that wasn't a proposal it was all business and no romance* {from the delicious movie, and yes I am paraphrasing because I can't remember the exact line, but I digress} :~)

Point being, hold onto to your tiara sisters!!! You're doing the best thing you can for yourself, by thinking of the business end because when you get your ring *or not, depending on your ring persuasion ideals* well, it's pretty much business~contracts, deposits, meetings, appointments, tastings, etc. In my opinion, I'm all business about this transaction because I refuse to be swept away by the dream of the "fairytale" {I refuse to go into debt to make my special day happen, hence why I'm using creativity, a well thought out & allocated budget, etc. to ensure the marriage is lasting even if the celebration can't be*

So, Hip hip hurrah for my pre-engaged ladies!! Now, I guess I'm officially engaged sense I got my rock, or as my lovely, practical boy would say, "that shiny thing I had to buy you to make you feel like we're really getting married...." haha...I haven't shared a pic of my ring, so I am posting it here>>>I waited a year & yes, I wanted a ring because well I like to sparkle and want to feel official :O)

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f166/brechild/Ring/ring-1.jpg


YESSS! I love Sex and the City too! I thought the movie was wonderful and I can't wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it every other day! I had some tears when he said that line... I know I'm a sap but COME ON that was perfect!
And a million congratulations for your shiny thing! (lol!) It looks like quite the finger ornament! Your man did good!

[starlit.singer]

Another pre-engaged girl here! :D

We have been together over 4 years, we have already gone ring shopping. Heck I feel like I've already planned our entire wedding haha :D I understand why he hasn't asked yet (we still live in two different states....) but it get's soooo frustrating some times. I know he's going to ask...but at times I feel like he has sucked all of the fun out of it lol. I know I won't feel that way when he asks :)

I'm so glad to know there are other girls out there like me that are not officially engaged but are still planning their weddings. Most of my friends/coworkers think I'm nuts for planning something without a ring. I don't need a ring to know I'm going to marry him....although a ring is always nice ;)

[Thalia_themuse]

I'm so glad to know there are other girls out there like me that are not officially engaged but are still planning their weddings. Most of my friends/coworkers think I'm nuts for planning something without a ring. I don't need a ring to know I'm going to marry him....although a ring is always nice ;)

Yeah it is nice! And that's how I feel.... my man told me he will propose, so I know its ahead... I don't see how it's crazy to plan for something you know is coming, especially when lots of people are opting for shorter engagements these days. We're just good planners, obviously :D

[Piedpiper522]

whew, now this is a club I can join! I've been dating my awesome BF for just over 3 years, but I've known him for 15 years!! We have tentative projected wedding date of March 2010, and I would be super, super shocked if he didn't propose by the end of this year. We went (he dragged me! lol) serious ring shopping about a month ago, and he made me try on everything. :grinhappy: But the final decision is his and I'm excited to see what he'll pick out! :)
We discuss wedding things in general terms only, as we both feel that the actual planning etc shouldn't happen til after the engagement. But admittedly we're really traditional. We don't want to be engaged for toooo long. I can't wait to start planning! Yay for the "pre engaged"!

[alli816]

Well ladies, I can tell you he bought the ring......he's so excited he's showing everyone....so I think its going to be this weekend bc we're going to Boston for the Boston Red Sox game against the Saint Louis Cardinals...so it should be an exciting weekend...It will be the 4 of us...my children will be there so thats cool....its weird but all of a sudden I'm so nervous........:D

[mandaj10]

Congrats Mary Ann! Be sure to show us your pictures! And hooray for more pre-engaged'ers! It truly is a good feeling to know that you are not the only one, isn't it? Especially since we've had a lot of engagements on here recently! Don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful thing and I am sooo happy for all of you that are, but it makes me a little jealous! Oh well! Don't mind me I'm just having an impatient day! :urgh:

[alli816]

Congrats Mary Ann! Be sure to show us your pictures! And hooray for more pre-engaged'ers! It truly is a good feeling to know that you are not the only one, isn't it? Especially since we've had a lot of engagements on here recently! Don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful thing and I am sooo happy for all of you that are, but it makes me a little jealous! Oh well! Don't mind me I'm just having an impatient day! :urgh:


Well we dont mind you at all Mandaj10....We love you and I'm so glad you started this thread.....I definitely will post pics if I can figure out how to post them and I guess I can finally start a wedding journal....I'm just a little nervous its actually happening....and you know its ok to have an impatient day we all have them. Just dont forget we are all here for you we are a OW family remember........

[alli816]

Thank you FutureMrsDM.

[mandaj10]

Well we dont mind you at all Mandaj10....We love you and I'm so glad you started this thread.....I definitely will post pics if I can figure out how to post them and I guess I can finally start a wedding journal....I'm just a little nervous its actually happening....and you know its ok to have an impatient day we all have them. Just dont forget we are all here for you we are a OW family remember........
Thank you soo much! I'm glad that you all are here to vent to on these bad days! And to top it off, I just got a bleep bleep cold sore! :irked: And get going on that journal, you know that we all love to read them!
And P.S.- You can call me Amanda :D

[alli816]

Thank you soo much! I'm glad that you all are here to vent to on these bad days! And to top it off, I just got a bleep bleep cold sore! :irked: And get going on that journal, you know that we all love to read them!
And P.S.- You can call me Amanda :D

You know its nice to your real name...........:D

[Qtpie]

I guess I am a pre-engaged. My FH gave me my engagement ring a few days ago so I could wear it but he still needs to ask my parents for permission to marry me. Does this seem odd to any of you?

[Thalia_themuse]

I guess I am a pre-engaged. My FH gave me my engagement ring a few days ago so I could wear it but he still needs to ask my parents for permission to marry me. Does this seem odd to any of you?

Well, the whole 'asking permission' seems weird to me - but I'm from a very independent family.... If getting their permission is important to you and/or him, then it makes sense. I think the tradition is to ask the parents' permission before giving you a ring though... maybe he just wanted to make sure you guys were on the same wavelength and to show you that he loves you and wants to marry you...? The reason I know my partner is going to propose to me is because he wants me to know how much I mean to him... so it all depends on the couple!

Wedding I was at 2 weeks ago: when asked "who brings this woman to be wed to this man?" The Bride's mother stood up and said "She brings herself freely - with my love, and with our blessings". I thought that was nice :) But I don't think tradition matters as much down here in Oz.

[Qtpie]

I think the reason he gave me the ring before he asked my dad is because i knew he had it and I was anxious to start showing it off so I kept bugging him about it. We have been datin 7 years and living togeter 3 years. I havent' shown my parents yet but the suspense is killing me. I wanna show them and I wanna start planning our wedding. I already have a day I want too. so we will see what happens

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

Chris and I are "pre-engaged." We know it is going to happen. We have looked at rings, I have bought the magazines in front of him, we have talked about the wedding and have made guest lists and discussed dates. We know it is going to happen. I just don't have my ring.

And on the ring, he has bought one. I was with him when it happened because he was freaking on making sure it was something that I like and in my size (I have small fingers). I am just not wearing it. He had to send it away to get MEGA re-sized, so I have no idea when I am going to get it. They said it would be ready today (which oddly enough is our 6 month anniversary), so I am mega anxious. I have no idea what is going to happen.

All I know is that I am looking at the roses he sent to my work right now (because they are on my desk), and after work I am going to get ready for a really expensive & romantic dinner. He told me that he is going to have to leave me while I am getting ready (in which I assume it is to go to the jeweler and pick it up) but that doesn't necessarily mean that I get it tonight. He has already said that he doesn't want to do some big public display, and that the reason why I didn't get it the day he bought it (besides the fact that it was too big) was because he has this great big proposal idea in his head.

He has showed it to his mother and has talked with her about it, and he spoke with his father this past Sunday and the two of them had a conversation that he won't tell me about... so today could be the day!!

And if it isn't, that is fine too, because I know it is coming lol

[alli816]

Chris and I are "pre-engaged." We know it is going to happen. We have looked at rings, I have bought the magazines in front of him, we have talked about the wedding and have made guest lists and discussed dates. We know it is going to happen. I just don't have my ring.

And on the ring, he has bought one. I was with him when it happened because he was freaking on making sure it was something that I like and in my size (I have small fingers). I am just not wearing it. He had to send it away to get MEGA re-sized, so I have no idea when I am going to get it. They said it would be ready today (which oddly enough is our 6 month anniversary), so I am mega anxious. I have no idea what is going to happen.

All I know is that I am looking at the roses he sent to my work right now (because they are on my desk), and after work I am going to get ready for a really expensive & romantic dinner. He told me that he is going to have to leave me while I am getting ready (in which I assume it is to go to the jeweler and pick it up) but that doesn't necessarily mean that I get it tonight. He has already said that he doesn't want to do some big public display, and that the reason why I didn't get it the day he bought it (besides the fact that it was too big) was because he has this great big proposal idea in his head.

He has showed it to his mother and has talked with her about it, and he spoke with his father this past Sunday and the two of them had a conversation that he won't tell me about... so today could be the day!!

And if it isn't, that is fine too, because I know it is coming lol

Well congratulations in advance....its sounds like to me tonight will be the night......my FH bought the ring on Monday and he's shown just about everyone....we're going away to Boston this weekend he actually said it would be Sunday so I'm just patiently waiting.....no surprise now so I said cant i just have it......anyways....good luck tonight....

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

Well congratulations in advance....its sounds like to me tonight will be the night......my FH bought the ring on Monday and he's shown just about everyone....we're going away to Boston this weekend he actually said it would be Sunday so I'm just patiently waiting.....no surprise now so I said cant i just have it......anyways....good luck tonight....

Thanks. I am just a ball of nerves in my stomach. I have problems with anxiety anyways and get panic attacks so this is just throwing me for a loop hahaha!!!

I just know that on the day of the wedding LOTS of meds will be taken :calm:

[alli816]

Thanks. I am just a ball of nerves in my stomach. I have problems with anxiety anyways and get panic attacks so this is just throwing me for a loop hahaha!!!

I just know that on the day of the wedding LOTS of meds will be taken :calm:

Actually I've been feeling the same way.....so hang in there......I'm starting to get soooooo nervous.....this is the day I've been waiting for and I'm so nervous now......

[AshAllen]

Hmph..So he's made the purchase of my wedding set..But my left hand still has no ring on it...He says it'll be before the end of this year...Iuno it's just so frustrating knowing he has it but..I don't want to sound like a selfish snob or a greedy bratt because I'm not..but gosh darnit! He shouldn't have told me he has it yet until he was ready to ask me..Iuno does it make anyone else feel that they're not good enough? I guess I should explain..I'm about to take my Real Estate License Exam..but I'm terribly afraid of failure..Well he said he wants me to prove that I can do something and stick to it..Iuno..I just need some advice as to how to address this with him

[Thalia_themuse]

Hmph..So he's made the purchase of my wedding set..But my left hand still has no ring on it...He says it'll be before the end of this year...Iuno it's just so frustrating knowing he has it but..I don't want to sound like a selfish snob or a greedy bratt because I'm not..but gosh darnit! He shouldn't have told me he has it yet until he was ready to ask me..Iuno does it make anyone else feel that they're not good enough? I guess I should explain..I'm about to take my Real Estate License Exam..but I'm terribly afraid of failure..Well he said he wants me to prove that I can do something and stick to it..Iuno..I just need some advice as to how to address this with him

Um, he wants you to prove something to him...? Ok, that's weird IMHO. My partner will only get hard on me when I know I need to do something but am looking for an excuse... and only then because I've told him he needs to! And sometimes I need to prove things to myself... but never to my partner. I'm sure it makes sense in context, it just sounds a bit weird! How long have you guys been together? Because I thought that you committing to your relationship and to him would be enough 'proof' that you can stick with something..?

I understand the agitated feeling when waiting - I always hate the waiting!! Afaik my partner hasn't bought my rings yet but he has told me he is proposing sometime before september... sometimes it drives me crazy too!! It doesn't make me feel like I'm not 'good enough' it just frustrates me.

[AshAllen]

It frustrates me a lot! We have been together only 11 months so far..I know it's early but I know that he's my everything. He's the only one for me..He says he's afraid that I'm going to up and leave..I've tried and tried to explain to him, I'm the one who liked him before he even knew my name. Iuno how to explain our relationship but it's very different from most.. I think he honestly has trust issues..He's never had a g/f before and me being quite younger (7 yrs) than he I can see where he wants me to grow up a bit..

[Thalia_themuse]

It frustrates me a lot! We have been together only 11 months so far..I know it's early but I know that he's my everything. He's the only one for me..He says he's afraid that I'm going to up and leave..I've tried and tried to explain to him, I'm the one who liked him before he even knew my name. Iuno how to explain our relationship but it's very different from most.. I think he honestly has trust issues..He's never had a g/f before and me being quite younger (7 yrs) than he I can see where he wants me to grow up a bit..

Ah... well, I don't know your circumstances fully, but if there are issues between you then you should probably work through them before thinking about getting married. 11 months can be enough time for people to get to know each other, but you should be careful.

This thread has some good questions that couples should discuss before tying the knot: http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=12934

If he has issues with you now, those issues probably won't just disappear. And if he wants you to CHANGE who you are, then that's a pretty big problem!! I'm not trying to have a go or anything, but it sounds like these are some seriously deep-rooted problems... I'm sorry if I have misunderstood!

[AshAllen]

No, no. You're perfectly fine..This is what I've been telling him...That the way he's going about this is totally wrong..It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him..That I have to work harder..But like I've told him, he has to realize he's already through college and set in life..Me, I'm just starting out with only three weeks of college..((Real Estate only required the three)) He's saying that he wants me to do something "hard" in order to prove that when times get hard for us, I wont leave. But what about him? What if he leaves?

[Thalia_themuse]

No, no. You're perfectly fine..This is what I've been telling him...That the way he's going about this is totally wrong..It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him..That I have to work harder..But like I've told him, he has to realize he's already through college and set in life..Me, I'm just starting out with only three weeks of college..((Real Estate only required the three)) He's saying that he wants me to do something "hard" in order to prove that when times get hard for us, I wont leave. But what about him? What if he leaves?

Whoa whoa, back up! He is definitely going about this wrong!! One of the big no-nos is to expect your partner to 'prove' something to you, or to expect them to change for you! Ouch... it isn't fair for him to do that to you. My best advice (and I can imagine how hard this would be :( ) would be to put off an engagement until you guys can work on your relationship a bit more. My partner and I had a really bad first year, but we stuck it out and we've been together for 4 years and will be getting married in 3. I am not afraid of a very long engagement because I want to be able to take the time to enjoy it, and I don't want to have to rush wedding plans. I think it is really, really important to have a strong, sturdy relationship before you think about getting married... I think a lot of problems might stem from the age difference and the fact that he has unrealistic expectations (prob because he hasn't been in a relationship before). He shouldn't expect you to change for him, as if he is untouchable and above you. You really need to firmly discuss this with him, and explain that even if you stuck out 4 YEARS of college that doesn't guarantee you will stick through a relationship.. that takes trust, love and communication! You guys need to be able to accept each other for who you are... yikes.

My honest opinion is that he is being unfair and unrealistic... you should talk to him. If you want more advice, I suggest you post a new thread and get other people's input.

[AshAllen]

Nope, don't need more advice..Yours was all that I needed..

[Thalia_themuse]

Nope, don't need more advice..Yours was all that I needed..

I'm sorry if I sound harsh... I had a really bad experience with my ex - there were unrealistic expectations on both sides, and even though he talked about marriage really early and I felt obligated to agree with him, we had horrible issues. I am SO glad now that that 'marriage' concept never eventuated! But as I said, my FH and I had a truly horrific first year together... it was really awful. But someone we just kept plodding along, and one day realised that we had developed a really good relationship! So I am sure that you can resolve your problems with your partner, but I know from my ex that if issues aren't solved in the beginning they only escalate... But again, that is only my opinion. I could be very wrong, as every couple is different. Look over those questions on the other thread and consider talking to your SO about them...?

Good luck!! (love and warm wishes!)

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

Actually I've been feeling the same way.....so hang in there......I'm starting to get soooooo nervous.....this is the day I've been waiting for and I'm so nervous now......


It happened!!!! He proposed and it was so sweet. My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn't even say yes because it would have came out as this pathetic squeak, so all I could do was smile and nod!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

But I am so excited, and yet dreading all the planning that is going to have to take place now. Geez.....this thing will be so expensive. He easily will have 300 guests on his side... **feels all of her hard earned money slowly blowing away** :sob:

[Nekochanpurr]

Awww, yay!!! :D I'm glad it was a good one!!

Haha, i think we all get the 'oh crud, thats a LOT of money..' going through our head, at least once..

[Qtpie]

wow, congratulations. Lets see a picture of your ring please.

[ElizaE]

No, no. You're perfectly fine..This is what I've been telling him...That the way he's going about this is totally wrong..It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him..That I have to work harder..But like I've told him, he has to realize he's already through college and set in life..Me, I'm just starting out with only three weeks of college..((Real Estate only required the three)) He's saying that he wants me to do something "hard" in order to prove that when times get hard for us, I wont leave. But what about him? What if he leaves?

What does he want you to prove? That you love him, you won't leave him. How are you suppose to prove that?

I see so many red flags all round your scenerio. A guy who is not self-assured and who thinks you should prove your love is not worth marrying. He is trying to manipulate you and will make your life miserable. Every time you put on make-up or nice clothes, he will think you are cheating. Everytime you have to stay out late because of work he will think you will leave him. If you don't answer your phone, he will think you are talking to another guy. Is he doing any of the above right now?

I am a strong believer in listening to your friends and parents/family about the person you a planning on marrying. They know you very well and they will be able to have an objective voice. So do your friends and parents like this guy or not? If not, then run as far as you can. The red flags coupled with others opinions are deal breakers in my book

[AshAllen]

My family loves him, and he's not doing any of that. The only thing he wants is me to get my Real Estate License...Because right now I can't help pay the bills..I make just enough to cover mine..So he said he didn't want to end up paying everything for the rest of our lives..But like I tried telling him, he had his time to make something of himself..Now he needs to give me mine. And I'm sorry but anyone who has taken this exam knows the pressure.. He took his broker's exam and so he thinks I can take this one with no problem.

[ElizaE]

I don't understand. He is basing whether or not he will propose to you and marry you on how much money you earn? He doesn't want to be saddled with all the bills. Does he want a marriage or a business partner?

Obviously money is important in a relationship. If you have less money, you have to spend less. If you have more money, you can spend more. If you have no money, this can put a strain on a relationship. However, I do not get his reasoning. Worth is not based just on the amount of money you bring into the family. There are plenty of women and men who are stay at home parents and their work at home is a huge contribution to the family. Is he seeing you as just a monetary asset and if you do not make money, he will see you as nuisance? Does he not know that your worth is more than just the paycheck you bring home? Is the money you make at your job the "proof" he needs from you?

I would have a very frank talk with this guy. What is it that he wants? What is this proof that he is seeking (make him be very specific)? How important is money to him? What will happend when you have children? Does he want you stay home or continue working and why? Does he fear that you will overspend his money? Etc, etc.

If you think this relationship is leading toward marriage, you need to figure out his "issues". He has some hang ups and in the end you will be the one married to him. Do not for a second think that these things will magically change once you tie the knot. You marry the person you marry.

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

wow, congratulations. Lets see a picture of your ring please.


Here is a picture -

http://img295.imageshack.us/img295/9936/003mq4.th.jpg (http://img295.imageshack.us/my.php?image=003mq4.jpg)

http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/6514/005px0.th.jpg (http://img292.imageshack.us/my.php?image=005px0.jpg)

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/5025/007lk8.th.jpg (http://img261.imageshack.us/my.php?image=007lk8.jpg)

And here is a picture of him and I right before we went to dinner at Slates where he proposed :

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/8403/engagementey1.th.jpg (http://img261.imageshack.us/my.php?image=engagementey1.jpg)

[Thalia_themuse]

Here is a picture -



Lovely :) Congrats!!! I hope your engagement is happy and not too stressful :D Keep us updated!

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

Lovely :) Congrats!!! I hope your engagement is happy and not too stressful :D Keep us updated!


Thanks. I will for sure.

We started on the guest list today.... and he is at 250-300... that doesn't include anybody I would be inviting.

Eeepp... oh, and we will need to save up a budget of about 20,000. Good times hahahaha!!!

[Thalia_themuse]

Thanks. I will for sure.

We started on the guest list today.... and he is at 250-300... that doesn't include anybody I would be inviting.

Eeepp... oh, and we will need to save up a budget of about 20,000. Good times hahahaha!!!

Wow, that's going to be big!!

And yeah, weddings add up very quickly :bbeek: - I'm not even engaged yet but was talking to my partner about how much stuff will cost, and he almost got put off the idea, lol. I just put him on a very small budget for my ring, which I think made him feel a bit better :D

Good luck on the saving - have you guys got a date in mind yet?

[Thalia_themuse]

Oh wait just saw Oct 2009???? You've got some time at least!! :)

[alli816]

Here is a picture -

http://img295.imageshack.us/img295/9936/003mq4.th.jpg (http://img295.imageshack.us/my.php?image=003mq4.jpg)

http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/6514/005px0.th.jpg (http://img292.imageshack.us/my.php?image=005px0.jpg)

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/5025/007lk8.th.jpg (http://img261.imageshack.us/my.php?image=007lk8.jpg)

And here is a picture of him and I right before we went to dinner at Slates where he proposed :

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/8403/engagementey1.th.jpg (http://img261.imageshack.us/my.php?image=engagementey1.jpg)

Congrats.......your ring is beautiful......

[alli816]

Hey Ladies, just wanted to say.......ITS OFFICIAL.....I'M ENGAGED.....pics to follow......

[MrsDM]

Hey Ladies, just wanted to say.......ITS OFFICIAL.....I'M ENGAGED.....pics to follow......

WHOO HOO!!! Congrats!

[MrsDM]

It happened!!!! He proposed and it was so sweet. My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn't even say yes because it would have came out as this pathetic squeak, so all I could do was smile and nod!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

But I am so excited, and yet dreading all the planning that is going to have to take place now. Geez.....this thing will be so expensive. He easily will have 300 guests on his side... **feels all of her hard earned money slowly blowing away** :sob:

Congrats!!!! Your ring is very pretty!!

[mandaj10]

Hey Ladies, just wanted to say.......ITS OFFICIAL.....I'M ENGAGED.....pics to follow......
HOORAY! I'm so happy for you! Get back here as soon as you can with your pics!

[alli816]

HOORAY! I'm so happy for you! Get back here as soon as you can with your pics!

Hopefully tonight....I have to download them and there on my daughters camera, which she has in hand........lol...

[alli816]

Thank you ladies...I'm so happy....even my kids are thrilled....

[MrsDM]

Well, looks like you are getting booted from this club, but welcome to the E-Club!!!!

[vannadear]

I'm a member of the Pre-Engaged ladies as well. (lol, or the NEY crowd as the "knotties" say)

My guy has already said "We're getting married." we talk about wedding plans all the time, and our future house and everything like that. But my boy has been hurt before and is a bit of a commitment-phobe (which I can understand) so until I have a ring and an official proposal I'm quietly taking notes of all the things he wants in a wedding while also jotting down my favorite things, so that when he finally does "Officially" ask me I have a head start on the planning process.

Obviously with no official proposal I can't start buying wedding things yet.

But since I'm a giant dork, if I could have my dream proposal it would be on July 17th at the Movie Theatre, right before "The Dark Knight" premiered :sweatdrop:...yes I love batman that much. I'm a dork I know, but how legendary would that be?

lol, I would also plan our wedding for October 23rd, 2010 as the 8 year anniversary for our first kiss :grinhappy:...i'm gonna go back to work now...:bbredface:

[mandaj10]

I'm a member of the Pre-Engaged ladies as well. (lol, or the NEY crowd as the "knotties" say)

My guy has already said "We're getting married." we talk about wedding plans all the time, and our future house and everything like that. But my boy has been hurt before and is a bit of a commitment-phobe (which I can understand) so until I have a ring and an official proposal I'm quietly taking notes of all the things he wants in a wedding while also jotting down my favorite things, so that when he finally does "Officially" ask me I have a head start on the planning process.

Obviously with no official proposal I can't start buying wedding things yet.

But since I'm a giant dork, if I could have my dream proposal it would be on July 17th at the Movie Theatre, right before "The Dark Knight" premiered :sweatdrop:...yes I love batman that much. I'm a dork I know, but how legendary would that be?

lol, I would also plan our wedding for October 23rd, 2010 as the 8 year anniversary for our first kiss :grinhappy:...i'm gonna go back to work now...:bbredface:
I also have all sorts of things planned out in my head
Like I would love FH to propose oh somewhere around the 28th of July- the anniversary of the day that we admitted having feelings for each other. It was one night during the County Fair, and I think that it would be sooooooo romantic if he proposed then. And symbolic. We "began" there, and we could "begin" our new [married] life there. I don't know, that's just my idea.
And I have too many dates to choose from for our wedding, so I guess its a good thing that they are all at least two years out.
I try to be patient, I really do. But sometimes its hard :sweatdrop:

[vannadear]

I also have all sorts of things planned out in my head
Like I would love FH to propose oh somewhere around the 28th of July- the anniversary of the day that we admitted having feelings for each other. It was one night during the County Fair, and I think that it would be sooooooo romantic if he proposed then. And symbolic. We "began" there, and we could "begin" our new [married] life there. I don't know, that's just my idea.
And I have too many dates to choose from for our wedding, so I guess its a good thing that they are all at least two years out.
I try to be patient, I really do. But sometimes its hard :sweatdrop:

Preaching to the choir sister I totally understand how you feel!

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

Hey Ladies, just wanted to say.......ITS OFFICIAL.....I'M ENGAGED.....pics to follow......


YAY!!! Congrats!! We are both newly engaged together!!

:)

[alli816]

YAY!!! Congrats!! We are both newly engaged together!!

:)

Yes we are!!!!!Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!

[Qtpie]

Congratulations on the new engagements. How exciting.

[vicky_vicky]

Oh this is so exciting i am engaged too !!!

pics are on this thread


http://forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=17394



And congratulations to the other recently engaged girls!

[Qtpie]

Ok so it is official now. I am no longer part of the pre-engaged. James asked my parents today and got the Big YES. Yeah its time to start planning the wedding now. I am so excited.

[Going2BeMrsEshraghi]

Ok so it is official now. I am no longer part of the pre-engaged. James asked my parents today and got the Big YES. Yeah its time to start planning the wedding now. I am so excited.

YAY!!!!

CONGRATS!!! Welcome to the club!!! :o

[Qtpie]

YAY!!!!

CONGRATS!!! Welcome to the club!!! :o


Yay! Thank you!

[Thalia_themuse]

Ok so it is official now. I am no longer part of the pre-engaged. James asked my parents today and got the Big YES. Yeah its time to start planning the wedding now. I am so excited.

Congrats! :) Good luck with all the planning, and don't forget to have fun :)

[mandaj10]

Ok so it is official now. I am no longer part of the pre-engaged. James asked my parents today and got the Big YES. Yeah its time to start planning the wedding now. I am so excited.
Congratulations! One less in the p-e'd club... dang! We're running out of members :bbredface:

[Thalia_themuse]

I went and looked at e rings today with my partner... I think he has picked which one he wants to get, so he may be getting it soon... Although he might order it in white gold, so probably a few weeks to go. Still, I'm glad something is finally happening! :P How are the rest of the pre-engaged going?

[snu]

He picked up my ring from the jewelry store a few weeks ago, and now I'm just waiting.....

:)

[Thalia_themuse]

My ring has been ordered but has to be made specially in white gold.. I think it'll take 6 weeks to get here.

..SO, what are the rest of you ladies up to...? all the pre-engaged seem to have disappeared!

[snu]

I'm still here, and still waiting. :bblol: I'm starting to wonder if he's waiting until our 3 year dating anniversary...which is still over a month away!

[Thalia_themuse]

I'm still here, and still waiting. :bblol: I'm starting to wonder if he's waiting until our 3 year dating anniversary...which is still over a month away!

Hmm... our 4th dating anniversary is in September, but I have been told it will be before then... Eh, who knows? Good luck to you!!!

[princessbridezilla]

i'm still waiting too.
:eat:

[lisa826]

so i'm getting a little frustrated (or maybe disappointed, i don't know maybe a little of both). my FH and i have been talking about getting married for bout 6 months. we've pretty much known we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together since day one. anyways due to financial reasons FH has not been able to buy a ring ( and i know it's not all about the ring) but because of things he said the last few months i've been expecting one and now i find out it may not happen for a few months more. I don't really mind waiting (he's already asked my parents if he could ask me to marry him so i know it's coming sometime) i've started the beginnings of planning but i really really want to start FULLY planning. we already know the date of the wedding and the time of day but i just don't feel right about trying on wedding gowns and bridesmaid dress shopping without a ring. plus everyone i talk to about the wedding always looks down at my hand and says "oh are you engaged". and of course i'm not so they think i'm crazy for starting to plan. ugh it's just a lil frustrating

[smiller]

so i'm getting a little frustrated (or maybe disappointed, i don't know maybe a little of both). my FH and i have been talking about getting married for bout 6 months. we've pretty much known we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together since day one. anyways due to financial reasons FH has not been able to buy a ring ( and i know it's not all about the ring) but because of things he said the last few months i've been expecting one and now i find out it may not happen for a few months more. I don't really mind waiting (he's already asked my parents if he could ask me to marry him so i know it's coming sometime) i've started the beginnings of planning but i really really want to start FULLY planning. we already know the date of the wedding and the time of day but i just don't feel right about trying on wedding gowns and bridesmaid dress shopping without a ring. plus everyone i talk to about the wedding always looks down at my hand and says "oh are you engaged". and of course i'm not so they think i'm crazy for starting to plan. ugh it's just a lil frustrating

Why are you so eager to get a ring, plan a wedding and get married? If you know that you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person then why not just enjoy life and let it happen? Frankly the anticipation is half the fun. Since you are no longer surprised that he is going to ask you then you can look forward to when he asks you. Some people wait until they can afford a ring and married life while others are willing to be pre-engaged. If you are in the second category then just sit back and relax. You have plenty of time to get married and to plan a wedding. Also if you are stressed it probably shows. Which means that your huny may also be stressed that he can;t get a ring right now and he will either put himself in a financial bind or will buy you a crappy ring just to make you happy. Now I understand why a ring is nice. Mine came to me as a surprise along with a proposal and I love my ring. But I love my fiance way more and I am glad that it happened on his terms. I knew that he was the person I was going to marry when I first met him but I also allowed myself to enjoy our relationship every step of the way. After all marriage is just a formality to the love that you already share.

Okay sorry about the rant. All that I am trying to say is that you should "stop and smell the roses". You will get a real proposal when you do. Let it happen naturally and just enjoy each day as it is with the person you love.

[RosieAngel]

so i'm getting a little frustrated (or maybe disappointed, i don't know maybe a little of both). my FH and i have been talking about getting married for bout 6 months. we've pretty much known we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together since day one. anyways due to financial reasons FH has not been able to buy a ring ( and i know it's not all about the ring) but because of things he said the last few months i've been expecting one and now i find out it may not happen for a few months more. I don't really mind waiting (he's already asked my parents if he could ask me to marry him so i know it's coming sometime) i've started the beginnings of planning but i really really want to start FULLY planning. we already know the date of the wedding and the time of day but i just don't feel right about trying on wedding gowns and bridesmaid dress shopping without a ring. plus everyone i talk to about the wedding always looks down at my hand and says "oh are you engaged". and of course i'm not so they think i'm crazy for starting to plan. ugh it's just a lil frustrating

Why don't you buy yourself a fake ring for $20, then? This is what I did while FH took his sweet time having my ring made but was in a hurry to book a venue and pick out my wedding dress.

JCPenney has this collection called "Platinum Dreams." It looks real but it's totally cheap! FH actually had my wedding band made to look like the fake ring I picked out for myself! :o

http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/SearchDepartment.aspx?SearchString=platinum+dreams&JSEnabled=false&mscssid=60dda1950946a41d39c37423026bbaf7exMnVNoVza GoxMnVNoVzaGW200B5D1628AD9B8023135F16F737E88CC1390 819918&cmResetCat=true

EDIT: Oh, and my friend's DH, who was very poor, bought her a little silver ring for an e-ring, and got her a plain gold band for a w-ring. I love that band. There is something so elegant and meaningful in it. I kind of wanted something similar, but FH likes blingy things.

So, if you're both comfortable with it, allow me to suggest foregoing the shiny shinies until you have an anniversary where you're in better financial shape.

Good luck with everything, my dear!

[Hope75]

Why don't you buy yourself a fake ring for $20, then? This is what I did while FH took his sweet time having my ring made but was in a hurry to book a venue and pick out my wedding dress.

JCPenney has this collection called "Platinum Dreams." It looks real but it's totally cheap! FH actually had my wedding band made to look like the fake ring I picked out for myself! :o

http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/SearchDepartment.aspx?SearchString=platinum+dreams&JSEnabled=false&mscssid=60dda1950946a41d39c37423026bbaf7exMnVNoVza GoxMnVNoVzaGW200B5D1628AD9B8023135F16F737E88CC1390 819918&cmResetCat=true

EDIT: Oh, and my friend's DH, who was very poor, bought her a little silver ring for an e-ring, and got her a plain gold band for a w-ring. I love that band. There is something so elegant and meaningful in it. I kind of wanted something similar, but FH likes blingy things.

So, if you're both comfortable with it, allow me to suggest foregoing the shiny shinies until you have an anniversary where you're in better financial shape.

Good luck with everything, my dear!

That is a nice set of jewelery there and cheap!

I am not sure why she would buy herself an engagement ring when he hasn't asked her to marry him yet and they aren't engaged.:snide:

I think if I had jumped the gun and bought myself a faux engagement ring my fiance would have been annoyed and hurt that I didn't wait for him to actually propose to me before presenting myself as engaged.

It takes two to get engaged, one to ask and the other to accept, or the two to agree and decide they are engaged. I don't see where he has officially made that declaration yet.

JMHO.

[RosieAngel]

That is a nice set of jewelery there and cheap!

I am not sure why she would buy herself an engagement ring when he hasn't asked her to marry him yet and they aren't engaged.:snide:

I think if I had jumped the gun and bought myself a faux engagement ring my fiance would have been annoyed and hurt that I didn't wait for him to actually propose to me before presenting myself as engaged.

It takes two to get engaged, one to ask and the other to accept, or the two to agree and decide they are engaged. I don't see where he has officially made that declaration yet.

JMHO.

I jumped the gun myself with FH's blessing because... well, I already told you the stupid story of the kinda-sorta-not-really proposal I got.

From what she said, it sounded like they did agree to get married, since they already have a date set and a venue picked out? Or did I read that wrong?

ETA: Wait, I did read that wrong. Sorry!

[Thalia_themuse]

so i'm getting a little frustrated (or maybe disappointed, i don't know maybe a little of both). my FH and i have been talking about getting married for bout 6 months. we've pretty much known we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together since day one. anyways due to financial reasons FH has not been able to buy a ring ( and i know it's not all about the ring) but because of things he said the last few months i've been expecting one and now i find out it may not happen for a few months more. I don't really mind waiting (he's already asked my parents if he could ask me to marry him so i know it's coming sometime) i've started the beginnings of planning but i really really want to start FULLY planning. we already know the date of the wedding and the time of day but i just don't feel right about trying on wedding gowns and bridesmaid dress shopping without a ring. plus everyone i talk to about the wedding always looks down at my hand and says "oh are you engaged". and of course i'm not so they think i'm crazy for starting to plan. ugh it's just a lil frustrating

I don't have my ring yet so I'm not physically looking at dresses or anything yet, but I have thought about simple but very important things like colour schemes and dress styles.

See some of the mock parties I've done to give me an idea of colours/flowers/styles:

http://kimsweddingwork.googlepages.com/party17-pastelrainbowcopy.jpg
http://kimsweddingwork.googlepages.com/party12full2.jpg
http://kimsweddingwork.googlepages.com/burgpartycopy.jpg

Please don't look too closely because they are really quick jobs in paint/photoshop and I have 'painted' over things really fast, so everything looks pretty bad... Plus I am no computer expert :D But anyways, you can still look at party set-ups and colours and flowers before needing to enter a store.

I know how frustrating it can be to be waiting, but try to relax and think of all the nice times ahead!! :)

[lisa826]

I know how frustrating it can be to be waiting, but try to relax and think of all the nice times ahead!! :)

if he never would have said (3months ago) that it would be within the next 2 months (he can't keep secrets when he gets excited he has to give hints..so cute!) it wouldn't have crossed my mind. but since he did i've just been sittin waiting. I hate suspense (even in movies i fast forward if it starts to get suspensful, drives FH crazy) i'm just excited about starting our lives together where i can see him every day and wake up with him next to me is all.

[Thalia_themuse]

if he never would have said (3months ago) that it would be within the next 2 months (he can't keep secrets when he gets excited he has to give hints..so cute!) it wouldn't have crossed my mind. but since he did i've just been sittin waiting. I hate suspense (even in movies i fast forward if it starts to get suspensful, drives FH crazy) i'm just excited about starting our lives together where i can see him every day and wake up with him next to me is all.

OMG - that sounds exactly like me and my man!! He cannot keep a secret about anything (even what his mother is getting me for christmas lol!) and gives me birthday presents early :P I hate the suspense and pretty much told him to stop telling me about the proposal!! Haha, I was getting annoyed with the frustrated waiting too, so now he is trying not to talk about it until he proposes!!! :P I suggest you try explainig to him why it frustrates you and plead with him to go and tell someone else!!

Good luck! You can always come on here to vent some of the frustration out - I find just chatting with people on here helps me!! :)

[MrsDM]

My best advice to you ladies in the pre-engagement stages is enjoy this while it lasts. Don't get me wrong, I love planning our wedding and love the ring he gave me, but all the anticipation leading up the the proposal was the best so far. There is not a day that I look down at my finger and think about him on one knee and me just balling.

Although, I am sure that once the wedding day is here and gone, I'll look back and say the same thing!!

Ok...I posted this awhile pack in this thread, but I figured with all the pre-engagement excitement, I'd share my feelings again. Even now..we have been engaged for 6 MONTHS! I can't believe it has gone that fast. I still joke around with FH and I tell him.."Here..take the ring, get down on one knee...just because you can!!" lol!!

I promise..the day will come before you know it. I know how it is waiting. We were together 4 1/2 years before we got engaged. I was sick of being his "GIRLFRIEND!" I wanted to be his fiancee. Years before the engagement I was obsessed with wedding shows and anything to do with weddings. FH asked "why?" I said, "Because thats what women do" lol!

[Qtpie]

I have been with my FH for 6 1/2 years. He finnaly proposed to me about a month ago. Just don't worry about it. it will come before you even know it. Just relax. Don't wish your time away.

[Hope75]

Another vote for relax and let it happen.... I was with my guy for 4.5 years and living together for 4+ years when we got engaged a year ago.

[gwenshack]

I just wanted to add another "just wait" to the already resounding choir! We've been together about 4 years and he finally asked about 2 weeks ago when we were in Europe. He told me he had wanted to ask for about a year but wanted to make sure he did it at the right moment - when he realized we'd go to Paris he decided that there would be no more romantic place to give me that one moment that he felt I deserved.

He could have asked me any minute of any day but he wanted to hold out for the right moment...and it was awesome...sure I'm not getting any younger! But it was very special. You don't want to begrudge yourself a perfect moment! Just be grateful for your time together with whatever label you have! :)

[mandaj10]

Just an update on myself... still patiently and happily waiting. I'm still excited for FH to dazzle me, but I think my slight impatience from before has (very luckily!) gone on vacation :grinhappy:

[teacherbride2010]

FH and I were dating for 50 months to the day before he proposed. But he made the wait so worth it, with a lovely proposal that was so totally us. I would consider myself pre-engaged for at least a year prob more than that. We picked a date that was well in the future so that planning could be a special time for us and as stress free as possible.

Enjoy this time together and just know that your FH has a plan in his head that he's probably not willing to share with you yet....

[conceited]

Well we purchased my ring, friedmans had a great going out of business sale. We havent made our engagement official yet because we havnt started saving money for it yet, so he wants to wait before we make any announcements because everyone will want to know a date. Im glad this forum is here though. I thought I was alone.

[Thalia_themuse]

Well we purchased my ring, friedmans had a great going out of business sale. We havent made our engagement official yet because we havnt started saving money for it yet, so he wants to wait before we make any announcements because everyone will want to know a date. Im glad this forum is here though. I thought I was alone.

I know the feeling!! I was very relieved when this thread popped up, because there are other 'pre-engaged' girls on here too!! My ring is on its way, but we have chosen a date (3 years away!). Even once officially engaged we aren't going to be making many announcements - my FMIL thinks long engagements are silly and my family are likely to tell me I'm stupid for even getting married!! *Sigh* Either way, it will come out eventually. Good luck with your planning and saving, and make sure to stick around - everyone on here is really nice!!

[princessbridezilla]

i'm still waiting too. :eat:

but...my honey DID pay a visit to the store where he's planning to get my ring, and the other day he made a comment, "i have $X saved, only $Y more to go!"

so i'm trying to think of ways to get $Y as fast as possible, lol!

[lisa826]

one good thing about being pre-engaged that i have recently realized is that you don't have to make any final decisions. you are free to change your mind without consequence or having to redo any projects. I have changed my mind about my colors about a million times until i finally found a combo i can live with and wont get sick of. And i like the fact that i have time to search every internet site i can find to get all my ideas together and find exactly what i want. i keep finding new sites with new ideas. i love the freedom that comes along with it.

[Thalia_themuse]

So my ring came in a bit early... so I got an impromptu proposal while home sick from work. I was feeling really cr*ppy, but am really happy now :D

How are the rest of you girls doing?

[Qtpie]

So my ring came in a bit early... so I got an impromptu proposal while home sick from work. I was feeling really cr*ppy, but am really happy now :D

How are the rest of you girls doing?


Yay, congratulations, and welcome to the engaged club. Lets see some pictures.

[Thalia_themuse]

Yay, congratulations, and welcome to the engaged club. Lets see some pictures.

I'm actually sick atm so don't have many decent pics... I can show off my ring though! I wanted something small and simple because I have little fingers, and I wanted something that wouldn't catch on things - I'm an archaeology student so I needed something practical!!

http://kimsweddingwork.googlepages.com/myring.jpg
http://kimsweddingwork.googlepages.com/myrings.jpg

[mandaj10]

So my ring came in a bit early... so I got an impromptu proposal while home sick from work. I was feeling really cr*ppy, but am really happy now :D

How are the rest of you girls doing?
Congratulations! :D
Still waiting :gurn: Somehow, I think my "dream" proposal (two days away!) might not happen... at least this year.
BUT don't let me rain on your parade! Congratulations again and bring on the pictures!
ETA: I posted before I saw the pictures! Beautiful beautiful beautiful set! It is very lovely! I love the kinda swirl design! :bbmrgreen:

[Thalia_themuse]

Congratulations! :D
Still waiting :gurn: Somehow, I think my "dream" proposal (two days away!) might not happen... at least this year.
BUT don't let me rain on your parade! Congratulations again and bring on the pictures!

Hey I'm just glad because my FMIL cried from happiness when we told her!! I wasn't expecting that.

I know the waiting can suck :( But you never know what he may have up his sleeve... Good luck!!!

[mandaj10]

Hey I'm just glad because my FMIL cried from happiness when we told her!! I wasn't expecting that.

I know the waiting can suck :( But you never know what he may have up his sleeve... Good luck!!!
Aw thats cute! I think that when we tell our mothers, his mother will roll her eyes and be like "Well, finally." And my mom will probably just be like "Oh, thats nice Amanda." :sweatdrop:
He's tricky :winktongue: And I trust him to do a good job, no matter what the date.

[Thalia_themuse]

Aw thats cute! I think that when we tell our mothers, his mother will roll her eyes and be like "Well, finally." And my mom will probably just be like "Oh, thats nice Amanda." :sweatdrop:
He's tricky :winktongue: And I trust him to do a good job, no matter what the date.

Ahhaaha, well I haven't told *my* mother yet because I know the response will be a terrified look and "You're not expecting us to pay for anything, are you?!?!?" :bbrolleyes:

Oooh, a tricky one! That's awesome - mine tried to sneak my ring in and I caught him, lol! He's awful at keeping secrets. :P

[Thalia_themuse]

Congratulations! :D

ETA: I posted before I saw the pictures! Beautiful beautiful beautiful set! It is very lovely! I love the kinda swirl design! :bbmrgreen:

:D Thank you!!! I love them!!

[Qtpie]

very beautiful ring, it fits your hand perfectly, couldn't be better. I love the design. Congratulations again. And welcome to the Engaged Club. I just got engaged about a month ago.

[Thalia_themuse]

very beautiful ring, it fits your hand perfectly, couldn't be better. I love the design. Congratulations again. And welcome to the Engaged Club. I just got engaged about a month ago.

thanks! :D Congrats to you too!!

[alli816]

Thalia the muse, congrats on your ring.....its a beautiful ring...definitely like the design....

[snu]

Beautiful ring, Thalia!

I'm still waiting, too! I know he'll do it at the right time; I'm enjoying our time together, and staying patient...

[Thalia_themuse]

Thalia the muse, congrats on your ring.....its a beautiful ring...definitely like the design....

Beautiful ring, Thalia!
I'm still waiting, too! I know he'll do it at the right time; I'm enjoying our time together, and staying patient...

Thanks guys! :) Ring had to be specially commissioned in white gold, pfft!

Snu - it seems that these guys always have something unexpected up their sleeves... glad you're enjoying the wait though - makes it much easier!! Good luck!!

[kristan]

Here's another PE! We've been searching for the perfect ring, but neither of us can make a decision!

We've been together 7 years this Sept, lived together for 5, and just bought a house together. So since we just dropped a chunk of change on the house were saving up again for the ring!

We've picked a location (Mackinac Island, MI - just haven't decided on the venue!), picked the colors, found some cakes we love...etc! I'm totally anal about details so I like to plan...and re-plan...and re-plan!

[Thalia_themuse]

Here's another PE! We've been searching for the perfect ring, but neither of us can make a decision!

We've been together 7 years this Sept, lived together for 5, and just bought a house together. So since we just dropped a chunk of change on the house were saving up again for the ring!

We've picked a location (Mackinac Island, MI - just haven't decided on the venue!), picked the colors, found some cakes we love...etc! I'm totally anal about details so I like to plan...and re-plan...and re-plan!

Yay!! Yeah the pre-planning can be kinda fun, until it drives you insane :winktongue: Haha, as someone else said - being pre-engaged is good because you don't have to make any final decisions yet! Part of the reason I'm having a 3 year engagement, mwahaha!!!

Congrats on the house and your impending engagement, whenever it may come... :grinhappy:

[Nekochanpurr]

Here's another PE! We've been searching for the perfect ring, but neither of us can make a decision!

We've been together 7 years this Sept, lived together for 5, and just bought a house together. So since we just dropped a chunk of change on the house were saving up again for the ring!

We've picked a location (Mackinac Island, MI - just haven't decided on the venue!), picked the colors, found some cakes we love...etc! I'm totally anal about details so I like to plan...and re-plan...and re-plan!

OHH!! Mackinac would be beautiful!!!!!

[conceited]

hey i dont know if you know. My ring is yellow gold too. If you havent already, do some research on having your ring changed to white gold. I wanted mine white gold too, until I started reseaerching. Everything that I have read suggests that I will have to keep getting the ring replated in white gold. It called rhodium plating. Im no expert so do your own research but I was reading on another site about this lady who works with cleaners and such noticed that her white gold ring started turning to yellow gold. She had her ring changed to white gold. I changed my mind. You may still want to but just look into it.

[kristan]

Yes, white gold need to be rhodium plated to keep it's shiny "white" look. I'm going to use Palladium in my ring. Similar to Platinum, but cheaper!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palladium

[Thalia_themuse]

hey i dont know if you know. My ring is yellow gold too. If you havent already, do some research on having your ring changed to white gold. I wanted mine white gold too, until I started reseaerching. Everything that I have read suggests that I will have to keep getting the ring replated in white gold. It called rhodium plating. Im no expert so do your own research but I was reading on another site about this lady who works with cleaners and such noticed that her white gold ring started turning to yellow gold. She had her ring changed to white gold. I changed my mind. You may still want to but just look into it.

Is this addressed to me..? I already have my ring - we specially ordered it in white gold, and I know about the rhodium coating. It needs to re-coated every so often (depending on what you do to it - lots of chemicals = every few months) to stay shiny. If your friend's ring started turning yellow it is possible that her ring was a yellow gold ring they coated in rhodium to make it look like white gold. My FH was told in one jewellry store that they could coat any of the yellow gold sets to look white... yuck! My set is made in white gold as it is my preference, and quite frankly, seeing my set was so cheap I can afford to get some coating every so often :grinhappy:

[conceited]

oh ok. mine is yellow gold. sorry I thought yours was too.

[Thalia_themuse]

oh ok. mine is yellow gold. sorry I thought yours was too.

a friend looked at the pic too and thought it was yellow... no idea how! I love white gold, and my particular rings look sooo much nicer in white than yellow.

Anyways, I love my rings - hopefully you love yours as well! :D (sorry, am giddily happy atm)

[Brian's Bride]

I just wanted to say that the place where my white gold ring is from has a lifetime warranty and they will re-coat it anytime I want because it's free. They suggested once a year and I will definitely take them up on it since it was included in the cost of my ring!

[FireChick]

Hey all! just wanted to say I am joining your p-e club. My bf and I have been dating almost 3 years now and have been talking about getting married for 2. We have been waiting because he wants to finish school first. Well it finally seems like he is actually going to finish. His last final is on the 14th, and he has even made comments about going to talk to his family jeweler the same day. As excited as I am about the thought of finally getting that ring, I told him to pick a different day (I'm having wrist surg that day and would rather have him with me...) We did go looking at rings this past weekend. Mainly so he could get an idea of what kind of ring I would like. He is getting something custom maid, and I can't wait to see what he comes up with.

[Qtpie]

How exciting. Good luck on that. I am just recently engaged myself.

[FireChick]

thanks! :)

[Thalia_themuse]

Good luck on the patiently waiting.... that bit can be the most annoying!!! :winktongue:

Just remember to stay excited!!

[mandaj10]

Welcome to OneWed! You should like the pre-engaged club... we're a nice helpful bunch! Glad to hear of your pending engagement, too!

[KellieGWA]

I am a newbie here. I have been browsing this website for a month or so because I absolutely love looking at wedding dresses and things. It makes me so anxious for my chance to get married.

I never considered joining OneWed at the moment because I am not engaged yet. Then I saw this thread! Soo, now I am officially a Pre-engaged member! haha.

I think the proposal is coming soon. My boyfriend has mentioned a couple times in the past few weeks that he is going to start looking at engagement rings now. :smile: My guess is that the proposal would be on my birthday in November. But who knows...

So here I am. :redface:

[Thalia_themuse]

I am a newbie here. I have been browsing this website for a month or so because I absolutely love looking at wedding dresses and things. It makes me so anxious for my chance to get married.

I never considered joining OneWed at the moment because I am not engaged yet. Then I saw this thread! Soo, now I am officially a Pre-engaged member! haha.

I think the proposal is coming soon. My boyfriend has mentioned a couple times in the past few weeks that he is going to start looking at engagement rings now. My guess is that the proposal would be on my birthday in November. But who knows...

So here I am.

Hello!! :hi: This is a lovely site for DIY brides, and just for general chat as well. The pre-engaged stage can be a bit frustrating, which is why the OP started this thread. It was really good to be able to commiserate with other ladies waiting on their official engagements!! I'm not pre-engaged anymore, but still, welcome!!! :grinhappy:

[Kay]

Hi Kellie!! Same boat here!! In July I started realizing he was about to propose and so I did a little "sniffing-around" looking at websites and such... and now I am fairly positive he is just waiting for his brother's wedding to be over next month... so, sometime mid-October to mid-November, I'm hoping to see him on one knee!!! Thanks to OW, my head and my computer is FULL of ideas!! This site is addictive!! WELCOME!! :D

[TeacherSonja]

Thanks to OW, my head and my computer is FULL of ideas!! This site is addictive!! :D

Addictive for sure! I am at the pre-engaged stage too. But I love browsing and doing research on weddings. I love it here!

[amisteratwisterandme]

I too have not been "officially" engaged yet, and quite honestly don't expect anything formal for a few months now. FH wants to do this his way, with a pricey ring, on his terms, even though I couldn't care less about a ring, and due to some unexpected medical bills with my mom, he has been helping her with anything extra he may have so this may take a while. With that being said, we both have been forming ideas about what we want, and how we want a more personal wedding then some we have gone to in the past few months.

We are putting everything "US" into this day. We already have an idea on our venue, our theme (Past, Present, Future with a lot of WWII era) We already know he is going to be wearing my grandfather's WWII Uniform, we know that we want to incorporate old family photos from weddings to War photos, we know what kind of food we want. AND, the other night, FH is washing dishes and he gets this really serious expression on his face, and I ask you know what's wrong? And he says I was just thinking about the wedding, and wouldn't it be cool if instead of leaving in a limo, we leave in either of B-17 bomber or a B-25? (Both are available at our venue)

So yep, I am planning a wedding that is not on any official books yet. But for what we want to do, it takes alot of research and time, and honestly the more time I have deciding on ideas, the more money we end up saving. We are both very clear on the fact that we will not spend the equivalent of 2 cars or a really nice down payment for one day in our lives. Just not us. We will have a very intimate and personalized wedding, and he is just as much a part of the planning as I am.

[KellieGWA]

Hi Kellie!! Same boat here!! In July I started realizing he was about to propose and so I did a little "sniffing-around" looking at websites and such... and now I am fairly positive he is just waiting for his brother's wedding to be over next month... so, sometime mid-October to mid-November, I'm hoping to see him on one knee!!! Thanks to OW, my head and my computer is FULL of ideas!! This site is addictive!! WELCOME!! :D

Thanks!!
Yeah, I have soo many great ideas too! ALL of them I have gotten right here. :D I love how friendly everyone is here.

[rainbowtreat]

When I joined this site over 3 years ago I didn't have a ring yet. I was never realy asked by him to marry him. We just knew that once he moved up here with me that we would get married at some point. So I just started planning and picked a date and all.

We were together for 7 months. Apart for almost a full year. Got back together by me saying I was wrong, your the one for me, if you still want to be with me you have to be here with me not 13 hours away. I still want to marry you and have a child with you. After 2 months he was living with me.

He moved up here in March. I think I started planning around Nov. or so, got a ring and the "Will you marry me?" in Feb. ( I picked out the ring, we took my kids and headed to the mall, I got my ring, it was boxed up and given to him, we all went to dinner, got home got the kids put to bed and then he put the ring on my finger and asked me to marry him ) and married in June. I never felt like I was not engaged though. I was marrying him regardless. I just wanted the ring before the wedding got to close lol.

I knew the ring would come. He had just oved up here and was just starting his job and I was a single mom working full time with 2 kids in day care. So money was the issue and since we pade for every thing wedding related just about weekly we waited until tax time and then we got my ring. He was funny, I held up 2 and he said go for the bigger one lol.

[KellieGWA]

My bf just told me last night that he is going to ask my Dad for his blessing next week and that the ring will come soon after!! :smile:

[amisteratwisterandme]

My bf just told me last night that he is going to ask my Dad for his blessing next week and that the ring will come soon after!! :smile:


Congratulatios!!!!!!!!!!

[Thalia_themuse]

My bf just told me last night that he is going to ask my Dad for his blessing next week and that the ring will come soon after!! :smile:

Oooh how exciting!!! Congrats and good luck!

[Qtpie]

My bf just told me last night that he is going to ask my Dad for his blessing next week and that the ring will come soon after!! :smile:

Congratulations, and good luck, I wanna see pictures when you get your ring.

[Kay]

I am planning a wedding that is not on any official books yet. But for what we want to do, it takes alot of research and time, and honestly the more time I have deciding on ideas, the more money we end up saving. We are both very clear on the fact that we will not spend the equivalent of 2 cars or a really nice down payment for one day in our lives. Just not us.

I agree!! Since last month alone, I have found one way after another to whittle-down our budget. We both wanted to look at a reasonable budget figure and found one, total, with his ring, for under 5K. I think I can get it even lower (its around 4500 max now) but we'll see.

I am like you ~ a budget-busting-borrowed-for wedding is no-not! We are just two people who think alike in the finance dept (and other areas).. which is probably why we'll be gettin' hitched next year! :winktongue:

[amisteratwisterandme]

I agree!! Since last month alone, I have found one way after another to whittle-down our budget. We both wanted to look at a reasonable budget figure and found one, total, with his ring, for under 5K. I think I can get it even lower (its around 4500 max now) but we'll see.

I am like you ~ a budget-busting-borrowed-for wedding is no-not! We are just two people who think alike in the finance dept (and other areas).. which is probably why we'll be gettin' hitched next year! :winktongue:

Definately not trying to say other people are wrong for that approach. If I was younger who knows, I may have gone all out. But at this time in my life that's alot of money to put out.

I am very fortunate as I have alot of friends and family helping out. Part of my theme is past, present and future including old family photos. I will be wearing my grandma's wedding rings, FH will wear my grandfather's WWII uniform, one of my best friends is a photographer, my sister will make my cake and my mom and I will make my dress. Another good friend is also my "craft buddy" and she is helping with the ideas as well as the decorations.

We could get married where I work for free, but it is where I work so we will only use that as a last option. Beautiful scenery though.

[Kay]

Definately not trying to say other people are wrong for that approach.

My goodness!! Me either!! If my FH wins the lottery, I'm calling TLC and signing-up for Platinum Weddings!! LOL :D

[little miss sunshine]

Hi
I'am new to this website. I have been with FH for 1 year but we have known each other for 14 years. He has not proposed yet, but is very close to it. We agreed on getting married next july so i went ahead and chose the 18th. :D
So it is a matter of "when" and it is killing me. haha
My birthday was last week and i was for sure that he would pop the question but no dice. So now i'm just lurking. He has already asked for my fathers phone # for the "blessing" (dad lives out of state), and wants to start shopping for the wedding, i told him to start shopping for the ring first.;)
well i guess that is all for now.

[KellieGWA]

Hi
I'am new to this website. I have been with FH for 1 year but we have known each other for 14 years. He has not proposed yet, but is very close to it. We agreed on getting married next july so i went ahead and chose the 18th. :D
So it is a matter of "when" and it is killing me. haha
My birthday was last week and i was for sure that he would pop the question but no dice. So now i'm just lurking. He has already asked for my fathers phone # for the "blessing" (dad lives out of state), and wants to start shopping for the wedding, i told him to start shopping for the ring first.;)
well i guess that is all for now.


:D Welcome! I am new here myself and my situation is very similar to yours. We know when we want to get married, but aren't engaged just yet. FH is asking for my Dad's blessing sometime this week.

Hopefully the proposal is coming soon for us both!

[little miss sunshine]

:D Welcome! I am new here myself and my situation is very similar to yours. We know when we want to get married, but aren't engaged just yet. FH is asking for my Dad's blessing sometime this week.

Hopefully the proposal is coming soon for us both!


thanks kelly
yeah i've been wanting to shop for some things for the wedding but really want to wait until it's offical. I've found my dress already that was the first thing i looked for :D

[TeacherSonja]

So it is a matter of "when" and it is killing me.


Me, too. :) But I'm waiting patiently for him to ask :)
Hope there'll be a proposal for you soon! Welcome!

[little miss sunshine]

thanks sonja
It's a little overwhelming I had no idea of all the planning it takes for a wedding.
I'm not sure where to begin first. There is so much, but worth it.

[amisteratwisterandme]

I am now at the stage where FH comes home, and has all kinds of ideas for our wedding.
EX: Hey, you know how everyone leaves in a cool looking car or a limo? I had an idea, if we get married at the airplane museum we can leave in a B-25! That would be sweet. I think we should do something with dog tags, too. Maybe name the tables after different places our families were in during the war.

So now he is totally stoked about doing our theme. I am not sure we will ever have a formal engagement. I have told him repeatedly that he didn't have to do the whole proposal thing. Now I am confused on whether we are in total planning mode or what, and when I ask him, he says, "Do your thing, baby"

Then we went out to dinner the other night with a couple of friends who are getting married next year, and he is sitting there telling them about our wedding plans.

Needless to say I'm confused! I don't really care for a big proposal, just don't know where I am supposed to go with all of this....

Oh well, planning mode it is.

[Kay]

Jannalynn...

Tooooo funny!! Your conversations with your FH sound like mine... he'll call and say "If we get married do you think we should have a DJ or a band?" or "When we get married and start re-doing a house, do you think we should have an exercise room??" blah blah blah...

But, my FH knows he has to surprise me and he has to formally ask. I just want it that way. He does, too. Soooooo.... it's all kinda neat anticipating... but, at this point, I'm really hoping he doesn't wait until Christmas. Yikes.

I do think its funny how there are so many of us that are pre-engaged... and yet we all "know" ...cuz it seems like men these days need that reassurance that we are definitely going to say YES before they ask ~ suppose that clip of the guy asking the girl on the basketball court at half-time and her running away was just shown one-too-many-times on America's Funniest Home Videos! They all got scared that could possibly be them humiliated like that!! Ha :lafhard:

[amisteratwisterandme]

That is too funny! I think my FH is just traditional enough that he wants to formally ask for my dad's blessing, which to me is insane as my dad was never around until a few years ago. I also think he wants it for me, to be special. I don't so much care though. It would be nice, but I don't need it.

We have definately moved from the we might get married to we are getting married. His words, not mine. And at least every other night he will look at me and tell me that he wants to spend his life with me. Too Funny!

[Kay]

Yeah, sounds like he's totally "cheating" and MAKING SURE first!! HA I bet he surprises you and just does something wonderful and over-the-top to ask you!! :D

[Thalia_themuse]

Ahhh I'm really glad this thread is getting good use :D I was pre-engaged when I started here, and having a 3 year engagement almost leaves me pre-engaged anyways lol.

Welcome to all the newbies and good luck waiting for your rings :winktongue: It was very frustrating at times for me, and I got my ring earlier than I should have, but everything turned out happy in the end. Sounds like you all have great FH's, so I'm sure they will make you deliriously happy with their proposals :grinhappy:

[Kay]

I posted this in my wedding journal (Yep, I already started one!)... and I thought you other pre-engaged ladies might get a kick out of it. I'm still wondering about it... :D

I went to M's house today to hang-out a bit and have lunch before he went to work (he works nights usually) and I was getting some iced tea while he ran upstairs and I am NOT a nosey person.. but there was some mail laying on his counter... and there was an envelope from the jeweler that had the ring we liked the most.. it had been addressed to his formal name....and there was a written card laying beside it. I had every opportunity to open that card and read what it said but I did not. I felt really excited but then I reminded myself that maybe he went back and looked at it again and they got his address at that time. I do not know HOW they got his address - the place is nearly 2 hours away from us. Still.... it does seem like a really good sign!! If he has bought me a ring already, I really hope he doesn't wait until Christmas to propose!! We shall see...

I know I should be more excited but it was almost surreal. I put the envelope back down and sat on the couch drinking my iced tea.... :cool:

[TeacherSonja]

Wow! I'm so excited for you! :) Hope you'll be at the engaged stage soon! Let us know when he proposes!

[tha_mrs]

it's so wonderful to see this. I am in this stage as well. when i first join this site, i was in a 3 yr relationship with the wrong person with the hopes that he would marry me. it turns out that he didn't love me at all and was just using me. i let him go with the greatsest of ease, and then it happened! My FH found me.And it has been wonderful every since. We talk about marriage all the time, and we have made a commitment to each other and to the progression of our family. (we have 2 kids) I just don't have a ring,yet.In my heart I believe that he is going to ask at Christmas.He told me he didn't want a long engagement, and I agreed that neither did I. I told him it will be 6 mths from the day he proposes.So, I mean here we are. We know we want it to happen,we just don't know when.

[MrsDM]

I just have to say, even though I'm engaged, I love reading everyone's experiences and stories. Its such an exciting time right before you get engaged with all the anticipation!!

[tha_mrs]

I just have to say, even though I'm engaged, I love reading everyone's experiences and stories. Its such an exciting time right before you get engaged with all the anticipation!!

did you know before it happened?

[MrsDM]

did you know before it happened?

Yes! But it was by accident. FH can't lie, so when I asked him where he was, he got this huge grin on his face and said..."uh....uh..."

So anyways, we were planning a trip and he said that he was not going to have the ring by then because it was custom and it would take several weeks, so don't get your hopes up. So, I took his word and then he surprised me with it then - I was shocked!