Just Wanted to Say --

[Whitewater]

THANK YOU to all you folks on OneWed for being *truely* tolerant and supportive.

I just lost about a dozen of my Internet-based friendships today because I discovered that my so-called friends are just as willing to turn on me as anybody else.

There's this thing called Usenet, which is an online group of totally non-related subjects about everything under the sun and it predates BBS and IRC and forums and so on (it may even predate email) and basically you subscribe to a group via your email news reader (if you're interested, you can PM me for the details of how to get to Usenet) and then any time somebody posts a message it shows up on the group and you get to read it. The groups by and large are unmoderated and completely authority free -- Usenet as a whole prefers it that way. They take their freedom of speech very seriously. It's a good place to be anonymous and talk about your problems, or your favorite guitar band, or book, or latest science news, or recipes, or whatnot.

I've been a Usenet regular since 2003 or thereabouts and made (or *thought* I made, hence this post) a few friends. Unfortunately, these friends have over the last year or two begun to seriously deride and scorn and mock my religion (telling really crass jokes, using language I won't repeat in polite company, etc), and see no problems with their behavior. When I pointed out that they'd really be upset at me if I denigrated their religion(s) like they were doing to me, they started cussing and swearing and saying all kinds of terrible things to me, comparing me to really foul creatures and basically, well, showing their true colors, which let's just say are NOT pretty. I never dreamed that they were really such mean, petty, small-minded people.

The nature of Usenet provides for the ability to get into a fight with 30 peple all at once, and I am now scorned and reviled by people across the world, merely because I told them that I didn't appreciate them bashing my religion.

I am SO GLAD that OneWed is here and that you folks are the kind of folks who don't trash talk other people's religions or sexuality or whatever, because I've already lost about a dozen or so friends today and I would hate to learn that those kind of bigoted, intolerant attitudes exist here.

So thank you, OneWed Forum People, for NOT being the sort of cruel tasteless people that see nothing wrong with mocking others. I am in the mood to really appreciate that right now and just wanted to say so.


Whitewater (still upset :( )

[WebLady]

I am sorry that you had such a bad experience :hug: I have been attacked on other forums and groups as well and it is never fun. Sadly some people seem to get off on it and somehow the anonymity and lack of retribution makes it worse :snide:

OneWed will never be like this as long as the Mod Sqad is around :bb: :icon_barbar:

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am sorry too that you have had such experiences. It amazes me how willing people are to bash someone via the net when they wouldn't have the gumpshun to do it in person.

I realize the net is rather impersonal but I always try to remember that there is a REAL person on the other side.

Don't loose heart though. I have made some WONDERFUL friendships via the net. I have also learned a LOT. For as many people are ready to scorn you, there are 10 times as many who are ready to embrace you.

[KMS]

Don't loose heart though. I have made some WONDERFUL friendships via the net. I have also learned a LOT. For as many people are ready to scorn you, there are 10 times as many who are ready to embrace you.

What she said! Sometimes people say things so well that there's really no point in trying to say it any better! :happy:

:flower:

[Nekochanpurr]

that really stinks. :( i hate when people think they can be rude just because its the internet. You know you have friends here, though! *^^*

[70707Bride]

That's terrible! We're so glad you're here!

[vicky_vicky]

(((HUGS)))

:flower::flower::flower:

[brendalin]

I am so sorry that these people made you feel this way!:hug:

Don't worry, we are all here for you!

[L.J.Aguirre]

:hug:wow. its amazing how stupid some people can be to this day.... you think they would know better by now but i guess not. and imo, nobody is god-like or perfect enough to judge another religion:bbrolleyes:. people need to grow up and quit picking on other people. *disturbed lauren*

[Krimangel]

:jpboxer:you should give them a ha hiya heewa and then kick them....




:hug:Sorry.

[Jamie'sBride]

I've been through similar situations, and it's so hard to get "real life" people to understand the heartache that can be caused by the internet. A place that you go to, with excitement, every time you turn on your computer... a place that offered familiarity and comfort and warmth, then you no longer have it. It's such a sense of loss. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, but you're right! I've never been to a place like OneWed where everyone is so friendly and non-aggressive! I've said things before where I've closed my eyes and braced for attack...but no one attacked. They respond with sweetness and understanding. It's amazing! I'm so glad you're here.

[Jenna5366]

I've had that happen to me on an unmoderated forum as well. I wasn't great friends with anybody at that point, and it still hurts. As frustrating as moderated forums CAN be (NOTHING to do with OW!) and some people complain about the do's and don'ts, it really is good to have someone there saying "play nice, ladies!" IMO, anyways.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you. These people are obviously not your friends.

[Parhelion]

<hug> That is so hard... I don't understand how people can be so cruel. :(

[FFC]

Don't let those e-thuggin http://greasemonkey4x4.forumotion.com/users/27/75/89/smiles/4068.gif's get to you. A lot of people use the web because they're hurting inside in real life, and the web is a place where you can hurt other people and feel like you're getting back at the rest of the world for hurting you.

Glad you know we got your back though http://greasemonkey4x4.forumotion.com/users/27/75/89/smiles/23269.gif Just don't forget it!

[Rainbow Brite]

I haven't used Usenet in 10 years for that very reason - there was no moderation and people were needlessly rude. I don't have time for attitudes like that. So sorry those people turned on you though! What jerks!

You'll always have us! <<HUGS>> :D

[Measha]

I can only echo what most of the other's have said. The ability to be anonymous is often just to tempting for some jerks. I'm very sorry this happened to you. Even if people have differing opinions they should be mature enough to live and let live. Glad that you are here with us!

[SouthernQueenBride]

Whitewater ... You have TRUE E-friends here! It is so cowardly and immature to gang up on someone via the computer ... those people probably get picked on in real life and are just taking it out on you. My advice ... just stay away from that site and ignore those people.

I had the same expeirence on pageant message boards. I used to direct charity pageants that benefit 100% various childrens' charities. These were non-profit events and completely natural pageants. (meaning they are not the kind of Jon-Benet pageants you see on TV. No makeup and big hair) Well after EVERY pageant there would ALWAYS be a few upset moms who would get on these boards and bash me and my pageant saying that it was rigged and they would say horrible things about me. It was sooo hurtful b/c I knew that it was all untrue. The thing that really bugged me though is that I never knew who was making these insane accusations b/c they would never use their real name. It was very upsetting but I eventually just had to avoid the boards b/c it got to me and made me so upset. Here I was trying to do something good for kids and these HORRIBLE people would just trash it!

So my advice (again) is just to stay off that board. You don't need negative people like that! Life is hard enough ...

Also ... we are here for you and genuinly care!!!

((((HUGS))))

[RosieAngel]

I'm so sorry that people made fun of your religion! That's so stupid! Seriously. This is for them! :chair:

Everyone here is so nice! It's like a big happy family! We'll never turn on you for something petty like different beliefs.

[EightEightEight]

I'd like to agree with everyone else and just add that Mean People Suck

[Brian's Bride]

This is my first experience with a forum, and I know that everyone is so helpful, friendly, nice here! When I was first engaged, I made the mistake of visiting The Knot (LOVE the pics, HATE their forums) and asking maybe two questions... OMG. The people on there were so mean and when I would read the stupid drivel they typed... let's just say I was so happy and relieved to find OneWed! I love you guys!!! err.. Girls! ha ha. Sorry the Usenet thing got out of hand for you!

[crazycatlady]

im sorry :( i had the same experience only opposite. someone asked a question and the answer required some talk of evolution. she was looking for the "god made it that way" comment but i didnt say that, i said what i had learned about the subject and well... she doesnt believe in evolution. which is fine by me but then others started attacking me for not being christian and not going to church. they called me evil and all this happened while i was at work so i had no chance to defend myself. they blocked me from the website for good because of that. i posted one thing, left for work, got back and there were 4 or 5 pages up! of people just calling me names and saying how horrible i am.

they had no sense of humour and i felt like i was walking on eggshells constantly. i couldnt make any jokes at all because it would always offend someone and they would all just gang up on people. they formed little cliques of popular kids and i you made them mad, buddy watch out. so i know how you feel. i think OW is pretty good about taking things with a grain of salt. it seems like here, if someone says something and it comes across the wrong way, someone gives a warning first or asks politely to back off rather than just throwing out stuff without them there to at least defend themselves. im glad you like it here :)

[WebLady]

Personally I think it is usually better to keep the peace just to stick to general and common interest topics. In a large group of people there are going to be people with different personalities, of different age groups and from different cultures and backgrounds. Whether it is a joke or something else we just have to realize that there are different opinions out there and not everyone is going to find the same things funny as you (in general) might. This gives a lot of room to offend, and sometimes the line between disagree and disrespect gets blurred.

I don't like feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around people, but there are just some places where a certain "adult" behavior is expected and other places where you can let loose. I don't know, I just think in some situations it is better to keep my opinion to myself than to risk hurting someone else's feelings and causing stress and drama in the group.

I have been hurt and attacked on other forums and I just hope no one ever feels that way here :flower: