question for wedding planners

[designdiva]

Hello, I have recently started my own event planning company, Design Diva in Frederick, MD. www.yourdesigndiva.com (http://www.yourdesigndiva.com). I have my first few weddings coming up this year. I was just wondering about the reception. Do you normally stay for the entire reception? I assumed you did but I just wanted to check and see what everyone usually does? Thanks for your time!

[wedbyjean]

If the bride wants me to, then I will. Most want me to, quite often I'm the one of the last people to leave the reception site. Only had a couple occasions where the bride just wanted me there until the 'formalities' were done.

[designdiva]

ok, that's what I thought, thank you!

[WebLady]

I find that most weddings with a good DJ don't really need a coordinator at the reception. I just do planning on the side these days and I usually don't stay for the reception. In these cases I just make sure everything is set up and ready after the ceremony is over. I work out a time-line before hand and talk to the DJ and/or band and they take over the reception from there.

But there are cases when I stay the whole day and be the last to leave at the end of the whole thing ... that is fine, I make more money on those ;) When I stay I keep things moving, cue the band/DJ and make announcements and such.

:goodluck:

[The Wedding Diva]

I definitely stay throughout the reception. I have had "life" happen at weddings, and surely the DJ could not do his job and mine too. I feel like that is what my client pays me to do-- to ensure that everything goes off with only one "hitch"-- hers LOL. True, things happen, but again, that is what I am paid and contracted to take care of. Moreover, you will find that you do have to be one of the last to leave, as you want to make sure that the other vendors fulfill their duties. The caterer has to have everything cleaned up and removed, or a cleaning crew has to come in, things have to be transported, moved to storage, etc. My job doesn't end when she cuts the cake, and it certainly doesn't end when she walks out of the door. Sure, it is more work, but (say it with me, now LOL) that's what I am paid to do. LOL! I feel great that my bride and groom can leave and know that everything is in capable hands, and should something go wrong, they aren't interrupted on their wedding night with calls from a rental company, DJ, etc.

At any rate-- I'm in Baltimore right now, scouting for a bride in Portugal (we're thinking of going with The Cloisters, the place where Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith got married). I look forward to getting to know you and possibly meeting since we're in the same state!

TWD

[The Wedding Diva]

"Jules",

I just came back to say what a NICE website! I love the orchids in water, and I am LOVING the Idea of the Month section. That ROCKS.

KUTGW!!

[wedbyjean]

"I find that most weddings with a good DJ don't really need a coordinator at the reception."

If they're only looking for someone to get the reception "festivities" underway then the dj can do the trick. But there is so much behind-the-scenes stuff that has to be taken care of, and the little problems that can turn into a full-blown crisis if not nipped in the bud that a planner is responsible for.

Some things I have had to do at the reception hall (before the guests arrive) are: Glue the cake topper because it was broken in half. Place the flowers on the cake (they were left in a bucket of water next to the cake table). Have the catering staff add two more chairs and place settings at the head table. Let the couple use my loaner cake knife & server set, and my toasting glasses set, and put my pretty loaner pen next to the guest book (in place of a plain bic pen). Replace several forks which were missing here and there. I also tape cards securely to the gifts they are on (guests so often just slip the card under a ribbon on the gift), and make sure the room is cleaned up at the end of the evening (I think it is so sad for any bride to have to see her beautifully decorated reception hall being torn down at the end of the evening).

What dj is going to take care of this?

[WebLady]

"I find that most weddings with a good DJ don't really need a coordinator at the reception."

If they're only looking for someone to get the reception "festivities" underway then the dj can do the trick. But there is so much behind-the-scenes stuff that has to be taken care of, and the little problems that can turn into a full-blown crisis if not nipped in the bud that a planner is responsible for.

Some things I have had to do at the reception hall (before the guests arrive) are: Glue the cake topper because it was broken in half. Place the flowers on the cake (they were left in a bucket of water next to the cake table). Have the catering staff add two more chairs and place settings at the head table. Let the couple use my loaner cake knife & server set, and my toasting glasses set, and put my pretty loaner pen next to the guest book (in place of a plain bic pen). Replace several forks which were missing here and there. I also tape cards securely to the gifts they are on (guests so often just slip the card under a ribbon on the gift), and make sure the room is cleaned up at the end of the evening (I think it is so sad for any bride to have to see her beautifully decorated reception hall being torn down at the end of the evening).

What dj is going to take care of this?

No one is saying that there is no need to a coordinator at the reception ... you're right and I too have done some of the things you mentioned here at weddings I have be involved with. I was just saying that I find things easier with the vendors I work with, and most of the time I am not always 'needed' to stay the whole time. In the weddings I have done, I work with the other vendors closely and go over all the details and the time-line and such. And the DJ's I usually work with make all the announcements and keep the party going and make sure it follows the time-line I set up with the bride. The carers are efficient and I haven't seen too many problems. :bblol: Well, a couple of months ago, the top 2 tiers of the cake fell over and I had to salvage it to make it look good for the pictures. The bride didn't notice until after the wedding when realized she ordered a 4 tier cake instead of a 2 ;) But for the most part, at least out here, and for the bride on a budget, they usually don't need to spend the extra money to have me stay through ... but rather to have me help them find the better vendors and coordinate everything. Aside from the cake incident, in the last few weddings I have done, there have been more problems before the reception and the receptions have been smaller events anyway. The larger events are the ones I stay through on most of the time. But, every wedding and every bride is different. I help them evaluate the situation and figure out what they need of me and the other vendors involved.

[The Wedding Diva]

Jean, thank you so much for your reply! I'm with you all the way. I read a lot of your posts at Brides' board (I'm wedding day barbie), and have been impressed with your grace and creativity.

At any rate, I know your comment was and could be easily misconstrued, Weblady. I just think it adds more fuel to the fire about the misconceptions about a wedding planner. For my wedding next year-- I don't want to be worried at all. But I'm certainly not paying her to hand her duties off to, of all people the DJ. I know that all my vendors are capable, but I am not paying my musicians to do their job and the wedding planner's too. There is so much more to do than to just follow timelines and make announcements.

This is what kills me, because I hear brides say, "I don't want to hire a wedding planner, because I can do all the work myself" or "What do I need a planner for when I have websites and forums?" But then, you have issues like in the general planning section of this very forum where a bride wants to sue the DJ for going against the contract. Who do you think can spear that off at the very beginning? If the DJ is left to his own devices, obviously (in that instance) he's not going to police himself.

I just think as a professional in the business, it took our position down a notch with that comment. It makes us look like we just pass off our work, and again "Don't really do anything".

*burning the soapbox*

[WebLady]

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, ... I am not trying to put down what you do by any means, and I apologize if my comments were seen as such. I don't know either of you or how you work with brides or anything. All I know is the vendors I have personally dealt with. When I first started in the wedding industry I was a coordinators aid then I became a photographer. As a photographer I got nothing but grief from wedding planners/coordinators I dealt with, and non of them ever seemed to want to help anyone or work together with me or the other vendors, they just wanted to 'run things' their way ... even when the bride told me something else. I would always try to contact the coordinator before the wedding and and go over what I had talked to the bride about, but they rarely ever got back to me. So when I quit photography and decided to do planning on my own, I said I would be better than those I had worked with before. There are some of the coordinators out here that don't like me because I am more affordable and I do more for the bride. But, there are a couple that I work together with.

I have said on many occasions that I think that everyone should have a wedding planner but sadly, (at least out here) many of them are SO expensive that most brides planning a smaller wedding with a smaller budget cannot afford their services. These are the brides I am trying to help with what I do.

I am going to stay out of your thread now, I just wanted to let you know that my comments were not meant to put down what any of you do. The OP asked for comments from other planners about staying through the reception and I gave my comments ... had nothing to do with anyone else here.

My best to all!

[The Wedding Diva]

Weblady, I am sorry if you feel like my post was a personal attack on you. It was not written like that, and I am truly sorry it was received that way. It was and is my position that such comments like yours diminishes the need to have capable and professional assistance on the wedding day, and could possibly mislead a bride who is of limited means that another vendor will handle the other aspects of her wedding.

I do agree with you-- some brides need a planner/coordinator. Others do not. It's not my position or job to convince the latter of the former.

I know what you meant, I just wanted to clarify as I also know how it could be misconstrued. I also want it known that there is no bad blood here. I just wanted to clear up a very common misconception.

[WebLady]

... I do agree with you-- some brides need a planner/coordinator. Others do not. It's not my position or job to convince the latter of the former.

I know what you meant, I just wanted to clarify as I also know how it could be misconstrued. I also want it known that there is no bad blood here. I just wanted to clear up a very common misconception.

No worries, there is no 'bad blood' on this end ;) I was just stating my opinions and experiences. Again, my comments were not meant in any way to be anything against either you, 'wedbyjean' or any other coordinator/planner here.

My best to all :D

[designdiva]

You all made very good points. Thanks for responding, it was helpful. Everyone has different experiences and that's part of it because no wedding is alike. I hope we all can agree that all we can do represent what our own experiences have taught us. Thanks again, I hope everyone is having a great year so far! :D

[The Wedding Diva]

I don't really think there was a disagreement, per se. Just thoughts! I'm glad you got everything figured out!