Whats Wrong With Me?

[Hayz]

First of all I'd like to start off by saying that I'm NOT in any way having doubts about marring my FH.
My wedding is in a few weeks time but:-
Am I bursting with excitment? No
I'm I nervous - Not really (not yet anyway)
I'm I worried - Actually I kind of am - even though our guest list isn't huge and is mainly family I'm not one for crowds (I think its because I don't really know is family) and I'm pretty much a worry wort.
I'm I having doubts about the whole wedding thing - Yeah, but its too late to change my mind about it now - though a little wedding I think would've suited me more.
Do I care about the wedding anymore - Not particularly, I just want it to be over.

What I'm I looking forward to? - As our wedding gift to each other we are going to get a puppy which I'm really looking forward to. And I'm looking forward to having 2 weeks off work.

I don't really care about anything (not just wedding stuff, but everything) anymore.

I'm I just totally stressed out??? I've been doing a little bit of research and everything that I've been feeling seems to point to depression which I really hope it isn't :bbcry: .

I'm not very good at talking about things like this though I am learning to talk to my FH, its just real hard for me.

I don't have any friends in the area I live in so its not like I can let their excitment rub off on me. My bridesmaid lives nearby but she is my brothers FW and we're not as close as we once were.

So I thought I'd put a post in here, where I don't really know you and you don't really know me and I guess doing it like this makes me a little bit more easier and comfortable than talking to someone face to face about it.

I'm hoping that when the big day arrives everything will be ok and I will be a bundle of nerves and bursting with excitement, and end up thoroughly enjoying the day.

Well thanks for reading through this. Its was kinda long wasn't it. Any comments would be great. Have those of you that are already married or have been married felt like this in the lead up to your wedding?

[WhiskeyGirl]

To be honest with you, I felt much the same way as you! For me I just wanted to be married and be my husband's wife, thats all I cared about! BUT, for me, it was about the **** that other people were putting me through and thats why I just wanted it to be over!! When it came to the day, I was excited, I wasn't nervous and I couldn't wait to see my FH!! Have you thought about talking with a doctor?? Have you spoken with your FH about the feelings you are having?? Talking will most definately help!! How about your mom? Or a mother figure in your life?? You would be surprised at how well people will understand you once you start to talk!! Please whatever you do, if you think you are having problems coping speak with someone, be it professionals or you FH or someone else you can trust!!!! I wish you all the best!! take care!!!!!

[StaceyMc]

There's nothing wrong with you. I'm betting that every bride goes through the same thing. It sounds like the stress is just getting to be too much for you. Make sure you talk to your future husband and maybe your doctor.

Ya know, I'm not much of a "center of attention" person. I told Joe that we just couldn't have a gigantic wedding because it would just scare me to death. In fact, I had a little bout of paranoia over the weekend.

I'm about a year away from my wedding and I went to a friends bridal shower on Sunday. I was watching her open gifts, in front of 35 people, all eyes on her and I thought "My gosh, I can't do it." Having people focusing on me was enough to make me reconsider a bridal shower :~) Silly? Probably.

I told Joe, he laughed. He thinks I'm just being goofy...he's probably right.

Since I've now rambled on....I just want to say this: make sure you talk to your FH and tell him what your fears are. I'll bet that you'll find that he's nervous too.

I did ask my friend, whose wedding is in April, if she was excited. She said "Not really..." She went on to tell me that the planning just gets to be so much to handle, that the excitement is kind of gone. But, she's sure that the excitement will be back on the day of, or the day before.

Take care of yourself.

[WebLady]

I felt much the same as you when I was planning our wedding about a year ago (wow, almost a year!) we were planning on having a somewhat traditional ceremony and reception but we wanted to keep it small. Then everything kept growing and getting out of hand so we called the whole thing off. We talked and we didn't really want to spend the money on a "wedding" we just wanted to be married.

We ended up having a very small ceremony in our home with just our parents there. Then we went out to eat with a few close friends and family then we were off to the honeymoon. We did have a party/reception a couple of weeks after we got back but we didn't go 'all out' with that either. It worked well for us and I don't think I would change a thing if I had it to do over again ... well, I would have stuck to my diet more 'cause I hate our pictures :( but that is another story all together.

I am helping a friend plan her daughter's wedding and the bride said to me the other day that she didn't realize it took so much work to plan a wedding, that she couldn't wait for it to just be over. She is also scared about the 'center of attention' thing.

So everyone goes through similar feelings so I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you feel like it may be a problem for you then do talk to someone. You should talk to your FH either way. You should be always be able to share and comfort each other.

:goodluck:

[CindySue]

Im sorry you are feeling this way. I still have 2 1/2 months, but Ive run out of things to do so I no longer feel very excited.

[rissy]

You poor thing,

I'm a long way off my wedding date but I do have something to offer. I bought this wedding planner, a beautiful hard covered silver
diary to record the planning process. It also has very useful information.

I was amazed to read that depression for the bride before and just after the wedding is not unusual. It's the way we handle change...though if might seem silly if you already live with your fiance you are still changing the relationship into husband and wife...it's alittle scary. and since we were kids we have had to drummed into us about fairytale endings. There is a pressure to succeed.

Don't worry, its normal (from what I've read) and you'll manage just fine, get a box of tissues grab your fiance and just have him hold you while you cry. It's a stress release, and by all means, don't feel bad about it...thats what makes us women...emotions.

Hold in there, you have a man there ready to support you. He'll love that you need him.

Rissy
<center><font face="verdana,arial,sans-serif" size="1" color="black">He wants me...forever!!!!</font><br /><a href="[/URL] src="[URL="http://daisyPath.com/days/070414/3/0/+10/1.png"]http://daisyPath.com/days/070414/3/0/+10/1.png (http://daisyPath.com)" alt="Daisypath Ticker" border="0" /></a></center>

[Jenn060306]

You are definatly not alone in your feelings.

I was having a terrbile time, and still do have times where i'm just like.... get this over with please! My MOH was concerned for me and my FH because i wasn't bubbly enough for someone getting married in 5 months. She was right... i wasn't all bouncy and stuff. But.... i haven't been like that ever in my engagement. Maybe as i get closer.... but thats just me.
Anyways.... i did realize i was really unhappy. Not with what was happening. I did go to talk to my Dr. about it and she gave me some suggestions to help. Seems to be workin for me.
Maybe a nice weekend away with for FH might help you get back in the swing of things. Some time just to the two of you to talk about how things are going with the planning.
Good luck! hope you feel better soon! Keep us posted on the planning!

[CindySue]

You are definatly not alone in your feelings.

I was having a terrbile time, and still do have times where i'm just like.... get this over with please! My MOH was concerned for me and my FH because i wasn't bubbly enough for someone getting married in 5 months. She was right... i wasn't all bouncy and stuff. But.... i haven't been like that ever in my engagement. Maybe as i get closer.... but thats just me.
Anyways.... i did realize i was really unhappy. Not with what was happening. I did go to talk to my Dr. about it and she gave me some suggestions to help. Seems to be workin for me.
Maybe a nice weekend away with for FH might help you get back in the swing of things. Some time just to the two of you to talk about how things are going with the planning.
Good luck! hope you feel better soon! Keep us posted on the planning!

Glad things are getting better for you Jenn.

For a lot of us, if not all, we have other things going on too besides just getting married. Some are in school, some just had a baby ;) , some already have families to take care of, and almost all of us have jobs. Some people cant understand that we cant just drop everything because we are planning a wedding. I wish I could sometimes because its is stressful trying to fit everything in. Between Brian, 4 kids, 3 dogs, a cat, a new home, a job, AND a wedding - I get stressed out a lot. Im sure most of us are going through the same thing.

[usahgrad]

Hayz, I'm in the same spot and I'm not nearly as close as you are. I just want this all to be over with. I gues my stems from the fact that I know the wedding is adding extra stress to people who don't need extra stress in their lives right now. Plus, I'm pretty much done with stuff until closer to the wedding, so now, I'm really just waiting. I don't think it's a bad thing or a sign that you're getting cold feet. I think it's totally normal and it's healthy. With this much excitement coming up, maybe we need to have a time where we're really not that excited (as a counter balance). I'm sure that in less than two weeks, everything will be all better! I can't wait to see your pictures and hear how everything went!

[CarlosHoney]

Yeah, I'm not really that nervous. The excitement wears thin sometimes, but, hey, I'm a highly excitable person. Like a little dog, only I don't pee all over you.

Sounds like you need to take some 'YOU' time. I think we all need that.

[bnd94]

I hope you are feeling better today Hayz! You are probably just stressed rather than depressed. You really should talk to your FH. I think it is so important to be able to talk to our SO anytime about anything. I bet he could cheer you up.;) Is he excited about the wedding? cause if he is a normal man he probably isn't showing much interest and that could definitely bring you down. I am wondering if you really are excited and are just showing it in a different way. Just think shortly you will be signing Mrs!! Now that is exciting!! :D

[shawnsgirl]

I was married once before. I call it my young and dumb thing I did...We had planned a last minute wedding. I had no doubts at the time and wanted nothing more to just be married at that time..We had planned a day to go to a little chapel, I called it a walk thru chapel. Just with my parents, his parents, our siblings, our son who was oly 6 months old, and my maid of honor and his best man...We had planned to have a big church wedding later but felt we should do this for us and our son so we could be married and save up to renew our vows and to have our "church" wedding. About two weeks before the wedding. I felt convinced that yes I want to get married, but a part of me didn't feel excited..I felt depressed, anxious, and honestly just didn't care. It didn't require much planning and my biggest problem was finding a simple white dress under 80 bucks. I woke up the morning of my wedding, I didn't feel excited, I didn't feel like wow its my wedding day, I felt really nothing. I don't know why but it was just the way I felt...
I know my situation them was ALOT different than yours, your in love I'm not! But I think your tired of planning. At first planning a wedding can be sooo exciting and fun but when it comes down to those last few details, those last few months you just want it to be over with...I am think this is how you may feel. Yoo've decided your heart out, you shopped your heart out, everything..Instead of thinking of your feelings as a bad thing try to turn them positive. Your focusing on the day after the wedding, most brides focus on the day itself. That's the biggest mistake a bride could make..Your wedding day is only the first day of forever for you and your fiance'. Yeah its important but hey you got forever...That means more than any single one day...Also, think of it this was as well, you just want it to be over....you just want to finally be married and there's nothing wrong with that. If you can before your day take a day, a weekend, a few hours...whatever you can spend...Be alone with your fiance'. Do something you both enjoy. I'm not sure where your from but if it's decent weather go for a walk in a park, in the woods, something away from every other human being out there. YOu guys need some alone time, also talk to him about your feelings. He is going to be your hubby soon so the sooner you can vent to him the better. He should be your best friend, and sometimes talking about ones feeling can make you feel vulnerable but it won't....It will bring you closer together. Have him try to help you find out why your feeling what your feeling. I wish you all the luck in the world and keep in touch and let us know how you make out!!!
take care
Jonelle

[wolf4091]

i wouldnt be too quick to diagnose yourself as it were. when things around you go that fast one can get numb. i felt the EXACT same way once i left the states for a whole new european way of life. all i knew and loved just out the door. i got very numb and didnt care as well. same thing when i got pregnant with my first kid. until the event actually happens and you're in the moment you may feel that way. dont worry. it cant be depression because otherwise you wouldnt be happy about ANYTHING. and you clearly are. and i am happy for you. best wishes. i mean that.