Is it bad to plan your own engagement party?

[ddzlilangel]

I couldn't find any other threads on this, so if there is an original I apoligize for the new one. My question is , is it wrong to plan your own engagement party? My reason for asking is that we got engaged on Christmas Day and its been kind of obvious that no one is going to offer to throw one. No one has even mentioned it and we've been engaged for almost a month and a half ( give or take a few days). I want to have one to get the news out to everyone and i know where i want it. My mom is gung ho on buying stuff for the wedding but thats the only thing shes jumped on, as far as he goes, he only has his mom and shes not financially able to do anything and nor do i expect anything from her. But anywho, should i do it myself and invite who i want and have it where i want or hint to someone that i want it and where?????

[andysgirl07]

We didn't have an engagement party or anything (I don't think I've ever even been to one either). We pretty much just told everyone we saw since we were so excited. I don't know too much about having engagement parties, but if you really want one, why don't you just talk to your mom about it and see if she can help you put a guest list together or something? That way she'll know you want one and everyone can pitch in. Are you going to be having a bridal shower or anything later on?

[CarlosHoney]

We're not having an engagement party either. We're just having the rehearsal and the wedding. If someone wants to do an egagement party/dinner for us, or a shower, more power to them, but it's not that big of a deal to us.

I don't think that it's wrong to host your own, though. A party is a party, and people like to celebrate, whatever the reason.

[WebLady]

I don't think it is necessarily 'required' for anyone to throw you an engagement party. If you want to throw one yourself to celebrate and spread the news, then I don't see why you can't do it.

Your friends 'should' throw you a shower when the wedding gets closer.

:goodluck:

[WhiskeyGirl]

Agreed! I don't think anyone is required to give you an engagement party!! WE never had one either. Have a party and announce your engagement!! Any reason to party is a good thing!!

[CindySue]

We had one, but Brian planned it, not me. It was "supposed" to be my birthday party, but when he surprised me by proposing again with my ring, it ended up being our engagement party.

[rainbowtreat]

I dont seen many people haveing them. But to me I wolud think it would be somehting you do yourself. Just my veiw on it.

[LaceyinPgh]

Sean and I had one about a year before the wedding date. Technically you aren't supposed to throw one yourself because people might bring gifts. So then it looks like you are gift fishing. We just really wanted an excuse to have a party with all of our friends. I did most of the planning and organizing but my parents were on the invitation as hosts. Traditionally the bride's parents will host since they are announcing the engagement of their daughter to close friends and family with the party. But now days anything goes. Most people don't really have them anymore. But, I don't see why you couldn't host a small cocktail party with just a few close friends and family members as long as you let it be known (by word of mouth) that gifts were not needed. Sean and I didn't want anything for our party but we still cleared a lot of money and some lovely gifts.

[ddzlilangel]

nothing at the moment has been mentioned about a shower , the only thing that has been mentioned so far is the bachelorette party,and oh yeah im not gift fishing, i just want to have a small get together to celebrate. i am going to talk to my mom and see what she says....i can do it the same way and do the planning and have her as the host.

[LaceyinPgh]

nothing at the moment has been mentioned about a shower , the only thing that has been mentioned so far is the bachelorette party,and oh yeah im not gift fishing, i just want to have a small get together to celebrate. i am going to talk to my mom and see what she says....i can do it the same way and do the planning and have her as the host.

That is what we did. I did most of the work and my parents hosted it and invited a couple of their friends. It turned out very nicely. I didn't think you were gift fishing. Even if you say something like, "Your presence is your present" on your invites or spread it by word of mouth some folks just won't feel right coming without something. Even those who didn't bring a gift still got us lovely cards that we put in our scrap book.

[ddzlilangel]

sorry lacey i worded that wrong, i wasnt saying that you were implying that i was gift fishing.. i was meaning that yeah i didnt want people to think thats why i wanted to have one was to get gifts.....