Step-Mother of the Groom for want of a better name

[kgvettegirl]

RC's oldest son is getting married Feb 23 at Myrtle Beach. The ceremony is going to be on the beach weather permitting. Other than that I don't know a thing. Hopefully we will get some more information before the big day. But what should I wear? Won't it still be freezing on the water then? I know casual but how casual. Jeans? dress? You would think after going through all this myself I would be better prepared. Should I offer to help? his fiance hardly says boo much less talks to me. I gave her my brides mag. should I offer to do more or leave it up to them.

[EarlyBird]

Maybe ask your husband if he could talk to his son and see if you could possibly offer any help.. say "i just recently went through this and would love helping out as much as possible, what can i do"
Is the Step sons mom around? is she involved with the wedding? (dont know if you would be stepping on any toes) other then that, i would really say that trying to be involved is a great way to start your new family.

Regarding attire, you may want to ask the formality. they could be having a fancy reception after in a hall and having a sunset beach wedding or something (making it more formal) or they could be having a informal day time beach wedding with a short wedding dress and no shoes.. never know.. it can vary so much for the beach. I would def say that a nice sundress is called for , maybe in a yellow or light pink :)

[WebLady]

Yeah, I would offer to help where ever you can, but then leave it up to them to come to you.

As for what to wear, I would wear a dress; something sort of like church attire to a wedding, unless someone tells me otherwise.

I am sure it will be at least breezy on the beach in February.

[kgvettegirl]

His mother passed away in 2006. Although we have a ok relationship I don't want him to feel like I am trying to ursurp his mom's place. I am very sensitive to his feelings since at first he was not so thrilled that his dad was even dating. I've made it very clear to both of RC's sons that I would love to be their friend but in no way am I trying to take there mom's place. Thanks for the advice I think I will have RC make the offer of help and then whatever they decide I will go with. I guess I may say I'm not trying to mother it still comes out.
I look lousey in yellow how about pale blue? Wish I could wear my wedding dress again LOL

[Nikita706]

I would let his Dad decide. We're in a similar situation. My fiance's Dad and his wife (and his Mom and her husband, for that matter) have yet to volunteer anything, and my fiance is too embarrassed to ask (and I certainly don't feel comfortable doing so if my fiance wont), so currently, we have no rehearsal dinner or honeymoon planned.

I think that in your case, his Father should make the first move and let them know that you guys are both there to help, and if you have something in mind, let him know (we'll cover the honeymoon, we'll cover the bar expenses, etc.). I do tend to think that his Father should be making the decisions though. I know people have mentioned that you should 'let them come to you', but honestly, I have no idea what my in-laws financial situations are, and I have no idea how much they are planning to put forward (if any). We don't want to come in and ask that they gonna throw in a couple grand when they were thinking more like a couple hundred. And how embarrassing for them to have to say 'I'm sorry, but we can't afford to throw in $xx.xx". I really think it makes more sense for you guys to determine how much you want to spend and at least give them an idea.

And I don't think that you should hold it against the son's fiancee that she's shy. If she's rude, that's one thing, but I'm shy as well. I try my best to make conversation with my in-laws, but it's not always easy. They seem to like me anyway, and we all get along great, and I'm certainly not as shy as I used to be, but not everyone is blessed with the 'gift of gab', so I would give it time. She'll come around. I certainly did. :frogg:

[kgvettegirl]

I can't figure out if it is shy or rude. In this family at least you have to speak up for yourself or you get run over. The boys follow their dad in that respect. Picking on each other is a sport. If you can't hold up your end and give as good as you get they steam roll you. I'm hopeing it is just shy and as soon as she feels comfortable she will join in. I would hate to have to be the one protecting her from them all the time. But if I have to I will.
RC is willling to help out with $ and anything else his son needs. They got a great deal on the hotel and so it would be mostly for the wedding. I don't have a problem with him helping out. We know that we will be paying for his brother the college student to come.
I just want this to be as great as our wedding was. I want them to have great pictures and great memories.

[kgvettegirl]

RC just told me that the great deal for their room is not going to happen because the bride does not want to sit through a 90 minute presentation on timeshares. ( I did to get free tickets for the luau we wanted to go to) $50 for 3 nights at a new resort. I am so afraid that she is going to back out of getting married I don't know what to do. I wish his mom was still alive because she would have straighted her out a long time ago. she has put off the wedding now 4 times. 1. She was pregnant and would lose her insurance. 2. ex-boyfriend did not want her taking his daughter out of the country when they were going to get married in Canada. 3. After birth of daughter wanted to wait til she could wear a certain dress. 4. Might be getting an inheratance and did not want to get married because her name would be different. She broke up my stepson and the girl he was dating to get him and now she can't make up her mind WTF! I wish I had the guts to tell him to get out while the getting is good.

[Nikita706]

RC just told me that the great deal for their room is not going to happen because the bride does not want to sit through a 90 minute presentation on timeshares. ( I did to get free tickets for the luau we wanted to go to) $50 for 3 nights at a new resort. I am so afraid that she is going to back out of getting married I don't know what to do. I wish his mom was still alive because she would have straighted her out a long time ago. she has put off the wedding now 4 times. 1. She was pregnant and would lose her insurance. 2. ex-boyfriend did not want her taking his daughter out of the country when they were going to get married in Canada. 3. After birth of daughter wanted to wait til she could wear a certain dress. 4. Might be getting an inheratance and did not want to get married because her name would be different. She broke up my stepson and the girl he was dating to get him and now she can't make up her mind WTF! I wish I had the guts to tell him to get out while the getting is good.

Hmmm...Sounds shady. A couple of those were horrible reasons for postponing a wedding and looked more like lame excuses to put the wedding off. But...it is his decision. If he thinks he loves her, nothing anyone says will turn him away. He's just going to have to learn for himself. I'm sorry this is turning into such a hassle for you guys. :bbconfused: