The groom's family is important too

[shopmysongs]

When my son was married the photographer took no pictures of our family at the reception and at the gazebo for the wedding. We started to think the next day that we didn't get one picture of our family at all. I have two sons, that's all and we are not together for any wedding day pictures. I should have thought of it at the time but you just don't. If we didn't have videograpger we would have nothing. And we paid for 1/2 the wedding too. Next time I would have a list of things that I want taken care of that day & put people in charge. We thought we ran out of some alcohol too. But we didn't, we had extra in a seperate room & the bar tenders knew that. I would put someone in charge of the bar also just to check on things. Friends & family would have done that in a heart beat then you return the favor for them.

[StJohnBride]

If "we" didn't have a videographer? "I'll make a list of things"? Whose wedding was this? Not yours. Don't blame your DIL, your son should grow a pair and ask for things, too. It's his wedding, and his say.

Get over yourself.

[shopmysongs]

I'm so sorry you misunderstood or I worded it wrong. I was not blaming my DIL, I love her very much & her family too. The blame goes on the photographer for not taking the pictures of the groom's family. That was her job, she was the professional that we hired. Everything was so hectic that day that no one realized till the next day that our family was not included. As parents of the couple & the bride & groom themselves should not have to worry about something that you are paying a professional for. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.

[shopmysongs]

As far as "we" goes, I meant we as two families putting on a wedding. I guess what I was trying to say is even though you pay good money for your son's or daughter's wedding you have to be aware of everything. Both families should be aware, bride & groom included. But I guess a lesson was learned.

[EarlyBird]

I'm so sorry you misunderstood or I worded it wrong. I was not blaming my DIL, I love her very much & her family too. The blame goes on the photographer for not taking the pictures of the groom's family. That was her job, she was the professional that we hired. Everything was so hectic that day that no one realized till the next day that our family was not included. As parents of the couple & the bride & groom themselves should not have to worry about something that you are paying a professional for. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.

i would actually call the photographer about this. Its quite ridiculous that as a professional there was no body saying "GROOMS FAMILY LINE UP FOR PICTURES" I MEAN THATS HOW IT GOES. if the traditional pictures were taken with the brides family, why would the photog (and no offense but why would YOU AND YOUR SON AND ENTIRE FAMILY) not mention this.. but i would REALLy stress this to the photog how upset you are- its not like you hired some family member to run the photography, it was a professional!!!

[shopmysongs]

You are exactly right. The photographer was really bad. The minister was a large woman & most of the pictures at the gazebo were of the back her & the bride, you couldn't see my son due to the back shot & the minister being a larger woman. She had tons of pictures of the table setting with the salt & pepper shakers. Why, we don't know. We didn't realize how bad the pictures were until we saw them & we just couldn't understand what she was thinking. She wasn't cheap either. She was at the high end when my DIL got a price. As the wedding party & family were walking into the gazebo before the bride & groom, no one was looking at the camera. She should have stopped us & said "look here". It was bad from beginning to end. It never dawned on any of us that day. My son & DIL talked to her after & told her how disappointing they were but it was too late. She really had nothing to say except that she thought the pictures were OK. What else could she say, ya I took bad pictures. Oh well, the memories are still with us & so is the video.

[Rainbow Brite]

I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with your photographer. It seems that our society unjustly focuses on the bride much more than the groom and we have to fight to keep things equal. Just go to Bed, Bath & Beyond for example - their wedding registry is called a "Bridal Registry." Hello - these gifts are for BOTH of us, not just me! Has your other son gotten married yet? If not, perhaps things will go better at his wedding. I'm working hard to make our wedding as equal as possible since it is OUR day after all.

[shopmysongs]

I guess it's like anything else, you learn from experience. When my friend's daughter gets married she is having some friends & family check on things throughout the night so the bride & groom can focus on thier night & their guests. They are having someone check on the bar to make sure they don't run out of anything, they have a list for the photographer of who they want to make sure they get pictures of & someone to make sure the presents & money are locked up or taken to someone's home. Family & friends are always willing to help out then you can always return the favor. I think it is a good idea. The bride & groom can relax & enjoy their evening.

[bichonlvr]

This totally stinks!!!!

I have a funny feeling we missed a ton of pics too! I just was soo over taking pics so I stopped! Now I am feeling badly about it!

I hope you will have an opportunity to take a family pic at a later time!

[frenchie]

Aww that's a shame. I know it's not the same, but you could always all dress up again as you were at the wedding and take the family pictures now, and even though it's not the actual wedding day, it WILL be a memory.
Maybe at the next family reunion?

[EarlyBird]

i find that alot of people do this though- for example being on the other end of this... im obviously a bride, but was sitting with my mil when she went through my sil/bil wedding photos. She literally cried. The first picture she had of her son was when he was at the aisle WITH THE BRIDE.. there wer 500 (not lying, literally 500) pictures of the bride getting ready (msot of them the same shot just taken 5-6 times each) and it was disappointing to see my mil so upset. the photog was supposed to go to his hotel room and shoot him and his bros getting ready and since MIl was with the bride, she didnt know that the photog decided "not to go to the grooms room" cuz according to him "theres nothing special about putting on a tux"

Im so sorry cuz i know you can never get those pictures back.. May i suggest having a portrait done (AND INSITING YOUR HORRIBLE PHOTOG DO IT FOR FREE) with the groom, bride and you in your wedding attire.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I feel your pain. We got shots of DH & his kids, we got shots me & my kids but we did not get ANY shots of the 6 of us together or any formal poses at all!

It's been a year and a half since the wedding and we haven't all been together again in the same place, at the same time. I will never get that shot I so wanted :( Somehow though ..... we did end up getting a gazillion shots of our nephew???? :hothead:

Your photographer screwed up (there is no excuse for not shooting the groom's family) but in our case, I am kicking myself for not giving my photographer a must shoot list.

[shopmysongs]

That's funny you mention getting ready. The photographer showed up 5 mins. before we had to leave for the gazebo (outdoor wedding) & we got no shots of the guys getting ready. We couldn't wait for her. We got some pictures of the guys standing by my son's car, which he wanted. We also got 2 pictures of our family in front of our house. That's the only family pictures we have for the day, two. None with our family, grandparents or the bride. The photographer originally showed up at the bride & groom's house when she was suppose to be at the bride's parents house. WOW the more I think about it the worse it gets. I think a list is a good idea for the photographer even though you shouldn't have to.

[ger]

We have that same thing...only with the Grandkids. We have a pic of me with my Grandkids (kind of...as much as they would cooperate..lol), but we don't have a pic of the both of us with all the Grandkids. I don't think there is even a pic of Bruce with his Grandson. I even made a list...but wasn't thinking of those shots! My very favorite pic is of us with all 5 kids though. I'm really glad we got that one!!

I don't understand a photographer that doesn't think the groom getting dressed is just as important as the bride. It's his wedding too!!

[WebLady]

Sorry this happened to you!

For other brides that may read this ... this sort of thing is one of the many reasons to discuss what you (as a bride) want from your wedding pictures with your FH and/or his family and then with the photographer before the day of.

I know when I was a photographer I had a pretty standard "list" of shots that I did. I always had the bride fill out a special shot or "must have" list, as well as a list of important people too. But if no one told what was important to them, I just went with the typical and/or what looked important when I was there.

However, part of my standard list still included at least some shots with the groom and his family.