engagement ring question for ya

[rainbowtreat]

Ok here's the deal. I want to have my diamond before we buy our wedding bands. Nicholas has had a hard time picking out a ring for me. I told him we could go together and pick one out. We are not looking for anything expensive or huge. Just something simple and nice. I know how bad he has been wanting to do this himself and suprise me. But I told him he did already. Last year at this time he gaveme my promise ring and asked me to marry him then. That was a suprise. I didn't think I was getting a ring.

So he aske dme when I stopped at his work tonight if we were going Saturday to pick out a ring. I said it was up to him and he said he wanted us to.

What do you all think?

[Jenn060306]

Going together to pick out the ring would be nice. Find something you are both really happy with. It will be a really special event that is another step towards being married.
You might want to look at ones that are a set so your wedding band will match.
Have Fun! :D

[WebLady]

Yeah, I think it is a nice idea to go together and pick out the ring. I don't see anything wrong with it ... you will be sure to get what you like that way ;)

:goodluck: let us know how it goes :D

[LaceyinPgh]

I didn't pick out my ring so much as tell Sean what I wanted so he could have it made. But, I don't see anything wrong with actually pikcing out your ring. I mean you are the one who has to wear it for the rest of your life. You might as well like it.

[CindySue]

Everytime we went near a jewelry store, Brian would want me to look at rings, havent figured out if that was to get an idea of what I liked or to keep me from knowing that he had bought one and was waiting to give it to me on my birthday. Around here its actually common for the couple to pick the ring out together,
If it bothers you, you can go pick a few out that you like, but then let him buy the one HE liked out of those and surprise you with it. That way hes picking out your ring but it will be something you like.

[LizabethDavis]

Go get it! It's fun to go shopping for those things together! I love mine and probably would have picked out the same one had we gone together for it!

[AngelinLove]

I pretty much picked mine out, since we went Christmas shopping and went into the jewelry store to look at rings and I picked one and one month later I got it!!! It has worked for me and I love my ring!!!

[usahgrad]

While I didn't pick my ring, there were certain requirements the ring had to have.

If he's ok with you going, then go. Talk about a man who loves you! He wants to make certain he pleases you! Enjoy it! Make a day of it! It could be quite romantic. Most of all, remember, you're getting your engagement ring! YAY FOR YOU!:ura1:

[rainbowtreat]

Thaks all of you. And I HOPE I get my ring tomorrow. But I dont see how romantic it can be. The kids will be with us lol. Unless I can find a freind to take them for me but I dont usually have any one who can take them for me. So wish me luck that I just dont give up and come home. I have to work until noon. That is going to drive me crazy.

[rainbowtreat]

I GOT MY RING!!!!!!! It is a simply one stone, 1/3 carrat in a gold band. I picked it out and he toldme to go with the bigger one instead of the 1/4. But he wouldnt let me have it yet. We went shopping and out to dinner ( and yes we had the kids with us but they were good ). We didnt get home untill 10 at night. We got thekids in bed and the groceries put away. Then we were int he bed room watching TV when he said let do this. lol so ramantic , He pulled out the ring and i put my promise ring on my other finger. He slid it on my hand and asked me again to marry him. I cried. After being engaged for almost a full year I still cried. The ring is beautiful. I am going to get the stone lowered, ( it is a bit high for me ) and it needs to be sized. The guy is backed up at the moment and the lady said she could send it out but it would take 2 weeks to get it done. I wanted my ring now. So we will call next month to make an appointment to have it done. I am so excited. I do have ring gard at the moment and it is a paint but I will live with it for a month just to be able to have my ring.

[Jenn060306]

Awww! I'm so glad you got it and you're so happy! I got a little teary eyed too reading your post! That's so exsiting!
I knew Mark was going to propse the day he did and we'd been talking about it for a while and i still cried! I think it's just so natural to cry.
:hug: Congratulations! I'm so exsited for ya! :ura1:

[LaceyinPgh]

Congratulations on getting your ring. I love a solitaire setting. What shaped stone did you get? I'm so happy that you got it.

[usahgrad]

Your ring sounds beautiful! I'm so excited for you! CONGRATS! I got teary eyed reading your post too. I sort of knew my ring was coming when Jason proposed and I still cried...a LOT! I stood there and held him for the longest time.

Anyways, I'm so happy for you! Glad to hear the kids behaved and that you love your ring! Trust me, I wore a ring guard on mine for quite awhile before I could even imagine letting it go to get it resized...lol.

[Amy_Brown06]

Actually I picked out my ring myself.....which I got more what I wanted and we didn't actually pay a bad price for it. I know how to shop around for what I want....hummmm....I guess that is why it took me so long to find Adam!! :bblol: I wouldn't trade him for anything now!!!! :D

[martysgurl]

aw wow congrats :)
Sounds beautiful !
I picked out my own ring and I think we had the kids with us ! We were already together for 3 years and had 2 kids. We went out together and he picked out my ring and asked if I wanted it. I said yes and he bought it. With his money mind you :)
I know he loves me to the moon. Thats the only thing important to me. I dont' think buying a ring alone would make me feel any different for him.

[CornyCow04]

Ok here's the deal. I want to have my diamond before we buy our wedding bands. Nicholas has had a hard time picking out a ring for me. I told him we could go together and pick one out. We are not looking for anything expensive or huge. Just something simple and nice. I know how bad he has been wanting to do this himself and suprise me. But I told him he did already. Last year at this time he gaveme my promise ring and asked me to marry him then. That was a suprise. I didn't think I was getting a ring.

So he aske dme when I stopped at his work tonight if we were going Saturday to pick out a ring. I said it was up to him and he said he wanted us to.

What do you all think?I think its a great idea to pick out your own ring. I did and i have never looked back. That way your happy with your ring and not resenting that he picked a ring out for you that you might hate.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I think its a great idea to pick out your own ring. I did and i have never looked back. That way your happy with your ring and not resenting that he picked a ring out for you that you might hate.

How can you hate something given to you that is meant to express his love for you???? That I don't understand!!

[CornyCow04]

I didnt exactly mean hate but it would be nice to have the exact ring that you would love and the only way to have that is to pick it out yourself. Remember this ring is for life and something you will look at everyday wouldnt it be nice if you loved it to bits

[WhiskeyGirl]

I didnt exactly mean hate but it would be nice to have the exact ring that you would love and the only way to have that is to pick it out yourself. Remember this ring is for life and something you will look at everyday wouldnt it be nice if you loved it to bits

Not to start anything....BUT, I love anything my DH gives me....including my engagement ring that I didn't have a hand in picking out! I think its supposed to be a gift from him to me, I wanted it to be a surprise...sure I dropped some hints but in the end he went bigger and better than I want. I guess its about how much confidence you have in the one you love to pick out the right ring!!

[CindySue]

Not to start anything....BUT, I love anything my DH gives me....including my engagement ring that I didn't have a hand in picking out! I think its supposed to be a gift from him to me, I wanted it to be a surprise...sure I dropped some hints but in the end he went bigger and better than I want. I guess its about how much confidence you have in the one you love to pick out the right ring!!

While some guys DO want their FHs help in picking out the engagement ring, I have to agree here. Its not about the ring.....its the fact that HE went out on his own and picked out something that is a symbol of his love for you. I picked my ring out with my 1st marriage, but Brian handled it all on his own this time, and I absolutely love it.

[LaceyinPgh]

Maybe I am in the minority here. But I can understand how some people feel about not liking their engagement rings. Personally I love mine. It is exactly what I wanted. This is something that you have to wear the rest of your life. It is something that represents your relationship. It should fit you, your taste, your style, and your liking. At the same time however, you FH should know you well enough to be able to pick something out. Or if you are incredibly picky about fashion the way that I am, he should ask what you might like.

I personally am very classic person. I like things that neutral, clean cut, and alway going to be in fashion. So, if Sean picked out a very antique looking ring with lots of scroll detail and little stones or a very modern looking deep set ring, it wouldn't be something that would strike my fancy. Just the opposite if you are like my mother who loves antiques, girly girl bows and ribbon and lace you wouldn't care much for my square cut solitaire. I just woulnd't be comfortable wearing something that wasn't me or that I didn't like. I would hope that Sean wouldn't want me to either.

It isn't that you don't love someone just because you don't like a piece of jewelery. It isn't that it means any less to you because it isn't the one that you would pick out. But you are the one who has to carry it around with you most days. It should be something that matches who you are. It doesn't represent anything less because it isn't your first choice. This is something that everyone needs to be happy with. Now not liking the style of something as opposed to not liking something because you don't feel the stone is the right size or quality is a WHOLE other converstation. If you are going to throw a fit over the fact that it is half a carat as opposed to one whole carat or something like that, then you really need to reasses your maturity level and see if you are ready to really get married.

If your fiance knows you pretty well then you have nothing to worry about. If he is concerned I see nothing wrong with asking or taking you along so that you both get exactly what you want. I asked Sean the other day what he would have picked out for me if he didn't have my guidelines. I would have gotten a round solitaire in a yellow gold setting. Which would have been ok too but not exactly me.

[CindySue]

Maybe I am in the minority here. But I can understand how some people feel about not liking their engagement rings. Personally I love mine. It is exactly what I wanted. This is something that you have to wear the rest of your life. It is something that represents your relationship. It should fit you, your taste, your style, and your liking. At the same time however, you FH should know you well enough to be able to pick something out. Or if you are incredibly picky about fashion the way that I am, he should ask what you might like.

I personally am very classic person. I like things that neutral, clean cut, and alway going to be in fashion. So, if Sean picked out a very antique looking ring with lots of scroll detail and little stones or a very modern looking deep set ring, it wouldn't be something that would strike my fancy. Just the opposite if you are like my mother who loves antiques, girly girl bows and ribbon and lace you wouldn't care much for my square cut solitaire. I just woulnd't be comfortable wearing something that wasn't me or that I didn't like. I would hope that Sean wouldn't want me to either.

It isn't that you don't love someone just because you don't like a piece of jewelery. It isn't that it means any less to you because it isn't the one that you would pick out. But you are the one who has to carry it around with you most days. It should be something that matches who you are. It doesn't represent anything less because it isn't your first choice. This is something that everyone needs to be happy with. Now not liking the style of something as opposed to not liking something because you don't feel the stone is the right size or quality is a WHOLE other converstation. If you are going to throw a fit over the fact that it is half a carat as opposed to one whole carat or something like that, then you really need to reasses your maturity level and see if you are ready to really get married.

If your fiance knows you pretty well then you have nothing to worry about. If he is concerned I see nothing wrong with asking or taking you along so that you both get exactly what you want. I asked Sean the other day what he would have picked out for me if he didn't have my guidelines. I would have gotten a round solitaire in a yellow gold setting. Which would have been ok too but not exactly me.

Brian did some "fishing" before he bought mine. He knew I wanted white gold. I wear a lot of silver, so I wanted my ring to match. He also knew i didnt want a lot of "flash". I was able to let him know what I liked and still give him the pleasure of picking it out all by himself. I didnt pick it out, but I did have a hand in it.
While I personally just wanted matching wedding bands and didnt HAVE to have an engagement ring, that was what HE wanted so I went along with it. What he picked out is perfect and while I cant say how I would have reacted if it hadnt been something I would have picked out but I can tell you that I didnt really even look at it until we got back home. I was just sooo lost in the moment of how he surprised me with it and how it was "given" to me.

[rainbowtreat]

I did pick out my ring however if Nicholas hjad picked it out himslef and suprised me I am positive I would have loved it just as much. I told him I didnt care if it was a $5 ring. I just wanted to be married to him. He had already asked me and gave me a promise ring which he picked out himself and I love it just the same. ( have to have it resized now to fit my other hand ) My first husband picked out my diamond and it came with the band which he gave me at christmas about 3 weeks after my b-day which was when he gave me my engagement ring. I loved it. He knew what I liked and what would look good on me and he did a great job. As Nicholas would have done but he had said that he had 3 in mind at 3 differetn times and just couldn't make up his mind. We went together and as I am looking at the rings and trying them on and finding out the prices he looked at the 2 I was holding and told me to get the bigger one. I did not argure lol. He loves me enough that for him he wanted my help. He had already asked me and suprised me with one ring and we are 4 months from the wedding that we made it a family event and went ring shopping. I loved it. We had a great time. If it had happened a different way and he suprise dme again I would have loved that too. I get to marry this man and be with him forever. That is all I want.

[CindySue]

Youre right Gwen......It shouldnt be about the ring but about the men we are marrying.

[WebLady]

Well as some of you may know, I don't wear a ring and my DH doesn't either. Like Gwen said, it isn't about the ring. Personally, I am not a huge jewelry fan anyway and I don't care much for gem stones (I do wear some jewelry) I just don't see the point in some expensive ring ... at least for me.

I wore a ring (a cheapy one, but still) with my first marriage and it meant nothing. And even then I had people make comments about my 'little' ring. When my DH and I were talking about getting married, we talked about the ring thing and we agreed that it just wasn't all that important to us. Now if he had went out and got me a ring, I would have worn it, but it is not something I 'need'

A girl I knew once said she wouldn't marry her BF if he didn't get the 'right' ring :bbrolleyes: I have seen this kind of thing on TV and in movies too! And who ever came up with the whole "Two months salary" thing? It is all just silly to me.

The way I see it, (the same with the wedding in general) if you want it and you can afford it, then by all means go for it. But if you obsess over the 'right' ring, (or the 'perfect' wedding) you are kind of missing the point ... When it comes down to it, it is just a ring, it should not matter how big or small it is or even if you have one at all. It is a special gift yes, but not one that should measure how much he loves you or the strength of your commitment to each other.

Sometimes I think I might want some sort of a ring, but it is mostly when people won't stop talking about it and keep asking me why I don't wear a ring. I had once thought about getting "True Love" tattooed on my ring finger but the more I think on it I just don't care. I know my DH loves me and I know we are married and I don't need a 'symbol' to prove it to anyone.

Ok, I am gonna stop now ... sorry for rambling on, I hope I haven't upset or offended anyone :D

[countrygirl]

Not to butt in on this, but I agree w Cindy. My FH went out and picked the ring on his own. I was lucky enough to have gotten one that I would have chosen my self, but the fact that he took the time, and didn't even listen to my best friend's opinion on what to look for, just picked it out himself, that is the best part of it!!!

[RebeccaW]

my ring is a little to big as well. joe ordered me a ring and it was the wrong size. we've been engaged for almost 3 years now and i still havent gotten resized. i get nervous about handing my ring to someone else. cause u hear all the horror stories about people taking out the real diamonds and replacing them with fake ones. AHHHH

[WhiskeyGirl]

my ring is a little to big as well. joe ordered me a ring and it was the wrong size. we've been engaged for almost 3 years now and i still havent gotten resized. i get nervous about handing my ring to someone else. cause u hear all the horror stories about people taking out the real diamonds and replacing them with fake ones. AHHHH

That is unfortunate but I think if you can find a jeweller you can trust then there should be no reason to be concerned!! The jeweller that we picked is wonderful and has a good reputation! I don't think that a good jeweller would risk that just to have one diamond!! Yes there are ones out there who will do that, but a good reputable jeweller should be a person you can trust!!!