My son called last night

[firespirit]

He was upset because his stepmom-to-be grounded him.

He claims he got grounded for going to church because he didn't know that he wouldn't be home till 9:30 and he was supposed to be home by 8:30.

And he said he got punched in the face for no reason by some other kid yesterday.

He said he wanted to move to Seattle and live with me. It just sucks to try to explain that moving across the country can't be a decision that is made on a whim and then I think he got mad at me and thought I don't want him out here. Which isn't true, there's just no good way for me to explain that his dad isn't going to let him move out here and it's more complicated than he thinks.

[Goin2thechapel]

I know, And at his age, it's very tough to comprehend a situation like this. I wish there was some more advice that I could give you :)

[shawnsgirl]

How well do you and his father get along?? Perhaps, you can reach some sort of an agreement..I know that one's a long shot.

Just remember there are two side's to every story. Nine chances out of ten if your son would come to live with you there is a chance that he could pull the same stuff if he doesn't get his way.

Kids find ways to work their parents wether there divorced or still together. They are smarter than what you think!

Is it an option for you to live closer to your son?? I'm not passing any judgement but maybe it would be good for him if you lived a little closer and maybe you would be able to see him more often. I understand that it is hard to pick up and leave everything you and FH may have too. Possibly you could also go and at least get some visitation rights or something so your son can be with you even though you are so far away. You do have a right to see him and you should exercise that right. As well, if you do have visitation rights and you do see him regularly it gives you a better chance to gain custody ecspecially if things aren't going well for him where he is, if what he is saying is true..

These situations are never easy. Hopefully, things will work out for you ...Good luck!

[firespirit]

I imagine that he was only saying that because he got in trouble.

For visitation, I buy plane tickets so I get to see him about every other month and he spends about 6 weeks out here in the summer. We've got joint custody and while the divorce agreement says 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends of every month that would be a lot of time he would be flying and a lot of expense. So I mostly try to plan using his days off of school so he spends more time here when he's got to fly out here.

It's not feasible to pick up and move to the midwest, we are both established at our jobs out here and there is no way we'd make what we do here back in the midwest. Plus we both really hated living there.

[Krimangel]

do you and the step mom to be get along? is she reasonable?

That must be hard being away from your boy, how old is he? I hope he understands.

[firespirit]

do you and the step mom to be get along? is she reasonable?

That must be hard being away from your boy, how old is he? I hope he understands.

I've never met her and have no idea what she is like. Aiden says he's tired of eating chicken all the time but at least I know she's cooking meals (unlike one of my ex's ex's that would just warm up a hot dog for Aiden in the microwave).

He'll be 13 at the end of the month.

[shawnsgirl]

I'm not sure what the laws are in your state but he might be at an age where the law states he can choose where he wants to live. You'll have to call the domestics office in which your court order is at and ask. If he wants, I mean really wants to come and live with you, you could go to court..Although...I would have a long talk with him first or have an unbiased person do so first. See if he is really serious though. You could spend the money for a lawyer and court costs and next thing you know he changes his story.

[bichonlvr]

Oh man! Why did he get punched? I think that is the first thing I would deal with!

Who drove him home from Church? Seems silly that a kid is at Church and gets grounded, there must be more to the story then Aiden is telling you!

PLUS, he is totally missing you because he spent so much time with you over the holiday and in HAWAII! I think we are all a little extra cranky from being home too :)

I say it is time to call his dad and talk to him, then put Aiden on the other line so the three of you can talk together!!!

[firespirit]

Yeah, I know, as the part-time parent I've become the fun parent. He doesn't have any responsibilities when he comes to visit me so it ends up being a vacation for him.

I've booked a trip for him to come out here a weekend in Feb. since he's got a day and a half off of school then.

[RevMatty]

It's hard having step-parents. Hard on the kids, the real parent, and the step parent. It's always a battle. To this day, I still battle between my bio-dad, mom, and step dad. He said, she said, blah blah blah.
It's not easy being on either side. But as a son, I do love them all, even when at times it didn't look like it.

[Smashingpennies]

I have several friends that have step kids; and they have always told me that unless there are rules for all parties involved, things are really rocky and can get out of hand quick. I would find out just what really went on; no matter how old kids will make things up to get out of trouble, and they are really good at pitting parent against parent. My oldest came and told me that daddy said they could have their deseret before dinner and because we had talked about having a backwards dinner; I went ahead and started to scoop up the deseret. He came into the kitchen while I was doing this all and asked what I was doing. I told him and he said that he had told them to make sure it was ok with mommy. GOOD LUCK! Being a parent is never easy.