Why am all of a sudden nervous?

[rainbowtreat]

When I got home today my FH informed me that his mom and nana said congradulations. I said for what. He told me he told them about us getting married. Now all of a sudden I am nervous. Not about his mom knowing or what she thinks about it. I don't know but now I am like OMG I am gettign married.

His mom gave him what he knew she would. Why fix something that is ot broken. She doesn't have a good outlook on marriage. Now don't get me wrong I like her and she is a good woman. Raised a kid on her own and works her butt off to make ends meat. She is only looking out for her only son. I don't want any one thinking she is trying to stop this or doesnt realy want it. She knows her son is a grown man and will make his own choices. She is just a typical mom. Don't look bad on her she is a good woman.

So they are keeping the date opened and they will both be there. He coulnd't reach his grandfather in Florida or his uncle in NC yet. But his mom and nana said his little cousin being a ring bearer would be cute. But that little cousins parents dont know yet lol.

So for some reason I am nervous ( sp?) about it. Why is this. I mean I have to cut back where I can cause it is costing alot. I think I am gonna squeeze it into $2000 to $2500. We need money for other things. MAybe this is what is making me nervous.

OK I am just rambling here. But I am excited that EVERY ONE knows now. That is a big releife.

[WebLady]

It is natural to be nervous ... getting married is a big step in your life! And of course the money might have a little to do with it too ;) I got a little nervous about our wedding too, I think it was mostly about the money and what everyone else would think about how we did it and such.

So all I can say is just try to focus on you and your FH's future. Do what you can afford and make the most of your wedding. Do what makes the two of you happy and try not to stress or worry. Have fun with your wedding plans. Remember, "don't sweat the small stuff ... and it is all small stuff" and then "Getting married is about the marriage, not the wedding"

As long as you are sure of him then there isn't much of anything left to worry about when you really think about it :wink:

:goodluck:

[CindySue]

Gwen, this may be out of line and I apologize but Brian and I have been discussing OUR nervousness and we have figured it out as we have both been divorced (and it hurt ALOT) and while we know that we were meant to be together, that little angging doubt still comes back: Will we end up divorced again? We didnt really realize that this was the root of the issue until we sat down and really talked about it. But because we know what it is, we are able to work through it and its not really a big issue.
Youve been divorced and you know how bad it hurts too. I know you have a good man now and that you are truly happy. But do you think if you stopped and really thought about it that you may have that same doubt? I know figuring it out for us HELPED so much and I just thought maybe if that was something trying to sneak up on you, if it can be recognized it can be quashed and you can get back to planning that beautiful wedding.
I apologize again if I over stepped any bounderies, but I personally think getting remarried carries ALOT more stress than getting married for the first time.

[bnd94]

I am really more excited than nervous. I really don't anticipate anything being different for us at all. But I totally think it is normal to be nervous. :D It is a big stepping stone in life. For me hopefully it means we can concentrate on starting a family now. It means alot to us to be married before we have kids.

[dee177]

I havent got to that stage of nervousness yet. The wedding still feels a million miles away and all a bit of a dream but im sure in a couple of months when the wedding is less tham 6 months away the nerves will be setting in and you will have to give me advice on how to keep cool and calm. I think the issue of the wedding budget plays on all brides minds, purley coz us women have a tendancy to go over budget with most things, but i think you have to cut back on little things along the way which does start to ease the stress bit by bit. For example for my seperate evening reception im inviting an extra 120 guests, some of which are collegues from my work and their partners. Instead of sending them an inviation each im having a A4 size notice made, matching the invitations, which ill pin up in the staff room, with the words of the invitation on the top and spaces for my collegues to write their names to let me know who is coming, this has saved me £40. xx

[LaceyinPgh]

Gwen, we all have those nervous days. I get them too. It is natural. You are taking a huge step in your life that is going to change things forever. You don't know what married life has in store for you. Human instinct starts up in situations like that and for our own safety makes us nervous so that we can be cautious. Remember your first day of school? You were nervous then too, but it tunred out all right because you are here with us.

As for his mom, don't sweat it. My dad is the same way. Their negative out look on other people's actions in marriage makes it totally impossible for them to think that it will work for anyone. 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce on the flip side of that 50% of marriages in the country last a lifetime with two very happy people. (Those are way better odds than any blackjack table in Vegas)

[WebLady]

I just think it is great that we can all help each other and offer advice and such ... I love you ladies :D

Like Cindy said, the divorce thing is a good reason for the nervousness, I was married before too and looking back on it, I think that was always put a little doubt in my head which probably added to the wedding nervousness for me. I used to feel that since my DH hadn't been married before that he would somehow see me as 'used' but I don't feel that way anymore.

We have had lots of deep and meaningful conversations about our life and our relationship and I don't see anything happening to us :D But, Heaven forbid, if it did, I would have at least 7 years of bliss ;)

Here is a quote I love ...

"Love as if you have never been hurt, Dance like no one is watching ... that is the only way to really experience the immeasurable joys that life and love can bring" - Unknown

[Jenn060306]

I've been nervous about getting married too. I'm terrified of being hurt. It's strange to me because i come from a family where my parents are still together. However, Mark's father fell out of love with his mother and had an affair before leaving her and the kids. I don't really know why but i have days where i am scared that that will happen to us.
I've found that talking to Mar about being nervous has really helped. The honesty with eachother has made me feel better, and given me more insight into who he is.
I've also found that being apart of the board has helped me also. Hearing how everyone eles who is in the same place as me are doing really makes things feel better.
I hope you feel better Gwen. Talking about everything will make things better i find. Good Luck!
:hug:

[rainbowtreat]

Thank you all for all your coments. No one has stepped any bounds. Don't ever think you would with me. It takes alot ot make me mad lol. I do often think about me having been married before and how I didn't work harder to keep it together. My ex-husband has even said to me recently that there will be bumps in the road but you just have to work through them. Talkign about me and my FH. My FH has not been married before but he has said he would not be doing this if he thought for a second that we would not last the lifetime we are comitting to.

The budget is a huge deal right now. I am trying to find ways to do waht I want but cut back on the cost. Any ideas would be great. Like instead of the acrylic ice what would the colored stones look like and would they be cheaper?

Again thank you all I knew I could count on you to help me out.