a little body sadness

[crazycatlady]

im a little down. im a size 14. To me that sounds huge because I hear all this **** about everyone wanting to be a size 2 or 4 or even a 6. So Im looking at a chart to tell me what size I am. My bust is a 40. Thats my rib cage. I can't help how big my rib cage is. And I can't help the fact that I have huge, wide child bearing hips.

I guess I just always envied these tiny teeny little girls that can wear absolutely anything. I cant wear miniskirts.... ever. If I try, my butt would hang out. Ive lost 15 lbs and still... size 14. Just sucks to finally come to the realization that this is my frame and there is nothing I can do about it. Living in a college town doesnt help. I see these bleach blonde girls (im a brunette) who are so tan (im irish) and wear miniskirts all year long. Im not trying to throw a pity party. More like looking for encouragement to love my body.

I guess Ive gotten lucky in finding guys who like some meat on a girl lol... and my fiancee always tells me how he likes the fact that Im not petite but when all youre surrounded by is little girls like that and guys who gawk over them, its really hard to feel like this is supposed to be attractive. Im really not even looking for encouragement, I guess Im just venting.

Anyone else felt this way? Im sure just about everyone has. I want ideas on how Im supposed to change my attitude. I just cant help but make fun of myself and call myself fat. I try forcing myself but it never works. The other day we went to Kohl's and I about cried in the dressing room because nothing ever looks good on me. Ok so maybe I am throwing a pity party... sorry. Just had an epiphany I guess.

[WebLady]

I think we all get a little bothered about our bodies from time to time, but try not to let society and the media tell you what you should be.

I am a 14-16; sure I'd like to loose a few (like maybe 20-30) pounds, but not to please anyone or to "fit in"; only to be a better me and be healthier.

As long as you are healthy and in decent shape, I wouldn't worry :hug:

ETA - How do you change? Don't let anyone or anything dictate how you view yourself or your body. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people that will love and care for you, for YOU ;)

[crazycatlady]

thanks. i guess hearing my fiancee i always think "he says it because he has to". They are loving and supportive. :) thanks again.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am a 12 - 14 too .... don't let it get you down, we are the norm. The majority of women in North America are us. Marylin Monroe was a 14 .... it wasn't until Twiggy bounced onto the scene that the idea of bone thin became the "ideal".

Ask any man - your FH isn't just being nice, they truly do prefer curves over walking skeletal bones.

[WebLady]

I just found this online in a quick search:

50 percent of American women are size 14 or larger.

Sometimes we shoot for unrealistic goals or sizes. Don’t get down on yourself because you’re not a size 2! Love who you are and be the best you, you can be, no matter what your size is!

ETA - Now I am not saying there is anything "wrong" with women that are slimmer, but that is just not going to happen for everyone. We are all different and should not be made to feel that we are less of a person because we are not "perfect" by someone else's unrealistic standards.

So just be happy, be healthy and don't worry about the numbers on the scale or the size of your clothes.

[crazycatlady]

you guys have really helped me a lot. maybe that will be my new years resolution. to not be so hard on myself. my fiancee tells me all the time that im too hard on myself. with school and weight etc... thanks again. :)

[StJohnBride]

As long as you're healthy, a size 14 is perfectly normal. I can feel your pain. When I was in high school I used to run track and cross country. I was still a size 8. Monster for a runner who ran 6 miles a day.

I've since injured my knee and would give anything to be an 8. lol
But I try not to obsess about it, because everyone has their issues, even my size 0 mom, size 4 sisters, and varying sized friends.

[ger]

My sister used to be a size 0...but was NEVER happy with her weight. She wouldn't eat more than 3 or 4 bites...because she might "get fat like Ger!"...and she said that more than once.

She committed suicide in 1998...she obviously had more problems than just her weight...but I will always remember how she obsessed over not being fat. It was quite sad, actually.

[StJohnBride]

Wow Ger. I'm so sorry to hear that. How absolutely tragic. :(

[crazycatlady]

yes ger, im so sorry to hear about your sister. shows everyone that we never know what goes on behind closed doors. i hope youre doing okay now. thank you for sharing that with us, i know it was hard.

[ger]

Oh, I'm OK with it. She really struggled. We were best friends when we were little, but after we grew up, she just didn't handle life real well. The whole thing was a sad deal...but I think we all have moved on (she has 3 children that were still in high school when she died) and are making good lives for ourselves.

I really didn't tell you guys this to make you sad. I just was thinking how our body image affects a lot of what we think and do. And I hope that no one else takes the attitude that being skinny is THE most important thing in the world!

[woohoo2me]

im a little down. im a size 14. To me that sounds huge because I hear all this **** about everyone wanting to be a size 2 or 4 or even a 6. So Im looking at a chart to tell me what size I am. My bust is a 40. Thats my rib cage. I can't help how big my rib cage is. And I can't help the fact that I have huge, wide child bearing hips.

I guess I just always envied these tiny teeny little girls that can wear absolutely anything. I cant wear miniskirts.... ever. If I try, my butt would hang out. Ive lost 15 lbs and still... size 14. Just sucks to finally come to the realization that this is my frame and there is nothing I can do about it. Living in a college town doesnt help. I see these bleach blonde girls (im a brunette) who are so tan (im irish) and wear miniskirts all year long. Im not trying to throw a pity party. More like looking for encouragement to love my body.

I guess Ive gotten lucky in finding guys who like some meat on a girl lol... and my fiancee always tells me how he likes the fact that Im not petite but when all youre surrounded by is little girls like that and guys who gawk over them, its really hard to feel like this is supposed to be attractive. Im really not even looking for encouragement, I guess Im just venting.

Anyone else felt this way? Im sure just about everyone has. I want ideas on how Im supposed to change my attitude. I just cant help but make fun of myself and call myself fat. I try forcing myself but it never works. The other day we went to Kohl's and I about cried in the dressing room because nothing ever looks good on me. Ok so maybe I am throwing a pity party... sorry. Just had an epiphany I guess.


I am working on my third baby, and no matter what i do i know my hips wont be any smaller, so even after this baby i will probably be a size 12 in the hips. im okay with this, i have a man who is proud of the way i am, and its all due to making babies so i couldnt be happier. I just wish i would have appretiated my body before i started having kids, waisted alot of years obsessing about it, lol. i feel "fat" almost all the time, so dont worry, its just matter how healthy you are. like the special K comercial says, its not the shape you are but the shape your in :D