Relationships are NOT easy!!!

[Whitewater]

They're good, when they go well, but boy, are they hard.

Currently, there's nothing wrong between my fiance and myself. No, really. We've had our monthly money talk, we survived having my best friend in town for the weekend, his cat has been at our home for almost a week now (by the time you read this, it will be a week exactly) and we managed to open preliminary discussion about putting an offer in on a home without the darling FH feeling pressured, resentful, or terrified about it. (He's going to be the only one on the mortgage until I can get my credit score out of negative numbers . . . )

So yeah, a lot of stress recently and we've weathered all of it still in love and still intact and still wanting to spend the rest of our lives together and that is an unreservedly good thing!

But DANG, the work it takes to get to that successful place is not to be believed. We did more checking in with each other these past ten days than I think we've done in the last six months.

I just wanted to mention how much work it takes to have a successful relationship.

Did I mention it takes work?


Whitewater

[bichonlvr]

HA HA I hear this......

[shawnsgirl]

You are exactly right! Why do you think finance is one of the most common reasons for divorce?? Some people just expect certain things...As long as you both communicate, work together on the financial aspects of things and think of it more as a team than an I you'll be good! DH and I still have our money talks and we're both working hard to have the life we both want..It will take awhile but it takes a lot of work and more the excellant communication thats for sure!

[shopmysongs]

I agree with above. I've been married for 32 years but somehow it's been easy for us. We are complete opposites & maybe that helps. I can only remember 2 fights that we yelled & got really mad. But I'm a person that says what's on my mind. Once I express it then it's over. It's harder for him but I make him spill what's wrong. Once it's out you talk about it, tell each other how you feel, then it's over. Respect each others opinions. Good luck to everyone that is just starting out. The divorce rate is sad. I hope with so many couples living together marriages will last longer.

[Smashingpennies]

We will have been married ten years in May and while we have had ups and downs; we have always gotten through them, by remembering that we loved each other and why we married each other. You also have to remember that you are not the only person in the marriage; it is a constant give and take, between you and your husband. My grandparents gave me the following advise when I got married. They said remember that as you grow together you are going to fall in and out of love with each other; but what you do about it is what makes a marriage work or fall apart. I always love my husband; but there are days when I am less than thrilled with his choices. If you make choices together instead of by yourself; your far less likely to feel unsuportted and resentful against your husband. While money is a key reason most couples get divorce; so is not communicating about things that are important and effect you both. Kids is another reason that some couples divorce; I have a friend that is going through a divorce because of kids. She wanted more; he didn't and went and got things taken care of with out telling her and then moved out and told her he didn't want the kids they had, he felt like he had to give them to her. She was telling me that while they had talked about kids; they never talked about it in depth.