invites?

[EarlyBird]

Hey guys quick question---

On the wedding invite, are you not supposed to put the initial or monogram for the NEW last name??

We are designing our own invite and we are looking for something simple and elegant. we decided we wanted a large R in script on the bottom left and then writing on the actual invite to be in script as well. HOWEVER, fmil says we are not supposed to have the new names initial on there, that its bad etiquette cuz we are not married, but she says she cant be positive (after i sharply said "where did you ever hear that").. hmmm


any advice.

[TangoWedding]

I've never heard of anything EXCEPT to use the new/shared last name. That is the whole point of the monogram!


:bblol:


*shrug*

[EarlyBird]

hahaha thats what i said, im like then when is it appropriate to use it?!?!!?! and she said after the marriage (aka, reception, or anything after wedding) i told her i believed she was wrong and left it at that- said i would ask some OW girls.... she used to design wedding invites so i thought she knew what she was talkiing about... just needed some second opinions

[nic1124]

Somebody told me that too, but now I can't remember who it was. They didnt say it was bad etiquette they just said you're not supposed to use it before you're officially married. I used mine on our programs.

[StJohnBride]

On an invitation, you can use the married last name. But the shared last name should not be used on anything else until you're married (shower thank yous, etc.).

[TangoWedding]

I'm confused. What's the difference between the married last name and the shared last name?

[SunnyAB]

EarlyBird - your FMIL is actually right - as far as etiquette goes. The reasoning is that the monogram should be from the person or persons hosting the wedding - and even if its the two of you - you are not yet married so you shouldn't use the 'married lastname' initial - you should use your lastname intial and his lastname initial - technically at least. (Its fine to use the married initial on favors or napkins or whatever for things AFTER the ceremony, because you are then married.) Thats from the ettiquette book at least. Many couples are choosing to bend the 'rules' these days, so if your heart is set on it, and your guests aren't too etiquettely uptight - then do what you feel is right. :)

[TangoWedding]

Interesting. Never heard of that.

Of course, I'm not following very many rules, myself. :bblol:

You can always just do a monogram like ours, where there's no initial at all:


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v257/zennymountain/MONOGRAM4.jpg

[SunnyAB]

I'm right there with you TangoWedding - I just like to know the rules that I'm breaking. :D As my own rule, I feel that if my decision is not hurting anyone, not making anyone uncomfortable, and if its not something that most of my guests would even recognize as being incorrect (and make me look like an idiot), then I dont think its that critical. My opinion only of course. :)

[SerendipityCrafts]

Good question! We do it for our platters but then again, the couple will be married by the time guests would be signing it. Hmmm?????

http://www.serendipity-crafts.com/images/AmberandJared.jpg

[EarlyBird]

well i will speak with my FMIl and see if it makes her uncomfortable. as long as it doesnt make her or my parents uncomfortable, i will probably use it. If not, I will use the first names like you did cindy.
I did a mock up of them with the R for OUR new last name :) and i love it, so i hope its good with everyone!!!!
i just need to get a program to use it with and design it on there. i did it on like regular paint just to get a feel for what FH and I like. I think it looks plain but elegant. thinking of adding some embossing or some sort of paper that will add depth to it! im not real good at this stuff and didnt really expect to have this DIY