SerendipityCrafts
12-05-2007, 11:06 PM
This should clear up any previous misunderstandings.
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with
a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to
the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where
to start."
We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind,
as a form of holy communion.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you,
this is no problem.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
Groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
To find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."
For all I know, these are the same thing.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working,
I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just
Cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and
Has to put it back together.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control
In my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was
Able to survive by holding a calculator instead
(applies to engineers only)
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don 't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . .
And if you are feeling amorous afterwards. .
Then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend
It to others.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine.
It does not make your *** look too big.
It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that.
Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007,
I will share equally in the housework.
You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming,
And the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
Like wandering around in the garden with a beer,
Wondering what to do.
___________________________________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with
a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to
the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where
to start."
We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind,
as a form of holy communion.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you,
this is no problem.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
Groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
To find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."
For all I know, these are the same thing.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working,
I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just
Cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and
Has to put it back together.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control
In my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was
Able to survive by holding a calculator instead
(applies to engineers only)
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don 't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . .
And if you are feeling amorous afterwards. .
Then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend
It to others.
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine.
It does not make your *** look too big.
It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that.
Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
__________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007,
I will share equally in the housework.
You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming,
And the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
Like wandering around in the garden with a beer,
Wondering what to do.
___________________________________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.