Some people invited to parts of the wedding

[Laura Lynn]

Hello everyone and congratulations to you all!!!

I just got engaged over the holidays in Cuba and am sooo excited! Over the weekend I attempted the guest list and was just wondering if anyone knows the etiquette for inviting some people to lets say only the ceremony and reception party (not the dinner) and others to only the ceremony! What has anyone heard about this...both my parents and my fiances parents say this is fine to do but I have never heard of this!

Please help me out...I would really appreciate it!

Thanks a bunch....Laura Lynn

[Shawna Bride]

I know that people do that for sure. I have a problem with it though, and I'm not doing it. I know that it's not against any etiquette rules, I just find it a little uncomfortable. But that's just my opinion.

[LaceyinPgh]

In etiquette terms you can't invite someone to the ceremony and then not to the reception. Also, you shouldn't invite people to only parts of the reception if that is what you mean by the reception and wedding dinner. (Im a little unclear on the difference there.) what you can do however is not invite people to the ceremony if you want a smaller one and then just invite them to the reception.

[CindySue]

Thats what I was thinking Lacey......Inviting them to the reception even if they werent invited to the wedding. I have never heard of that reversed.

[LizabethDavis]

I agree on inviting them to the ceremony and then not to the reception. I believe that goes against etiquette. You can not invite them to the CEREMONY and still invite them to the reception, but only for the FULL reception. Not parts of it.

[KMac]

Hi Laura Lynn,
I have been on the receiving end of what you are referring too. I didn't mind not going to the actual dinner and then have to sit through the speeches and what not. We were co-workers of the groom, however we weren't that close to him. The groom just said to us that he would like us to come and have a drink/toast with him and his new bride. Of course, we new that we were not invited to the wedding, but being thought of in that small way was nice. We ended up going at around 9:00pm when the dinner was over and speeches had ended. It ended up being a really fun time.

I agree with everyone else though, I don't think it is proper etiquette to invite people to only parts of the reception. And if they are invited to the ceremony, usually you give them the invitation to the dinner portion as well. Let us know what you decide!

[Shawna Bride]

I have in the past been invited for drinks and dessert- but to be honest, I felt a little awkward walking in around 9:00 after everyone already been there.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I would think that if they are important enough to invite to the reception then they should be important enough to invite to the ceremony! To me if someone invited me to the reception only, I would think they only want a gift from me! Unless your wedding is like Becky's up on a mountain, then I don't think it's acceptable! But just my two cents.

[CindySue]

I have been to a wedding reception were the couple only had immediate family at the ceremony. Ive also been to one where the couple more or less eloped (or had a destination wedding, it sounds better) and then had a reception after they got back home. I didnt feel uncomfortable either time, but I think I would if I thought I was part of the "eeny-meeny-miney-moe" system.

[Jenn060306]

I have to agree with the other girls. I don't like the idea of inviting people to parts of the wedding.
A couple of our friends were a bit surprised that we were inviting them to the dinner part of the reception as well as the rest of the days events. But i really do feel like if i want them to be there on my wedding day. Then i want them there for all of it. Not just parts.

You have to decide what is best for you and your FH. Consider how you would feel being only invited to part of the couples special day.

[usahgrad]

My cousin did a destination ceremony and then held a HUGE reception at home with her family and her DH's family. I don't think it really bothered me, but I think that's mainly because, except for the bridal party and the immediate family, everyone who was at the reception hadn't been at the wedding either, so it wasn't like we were a minority. I do have to say, I think it is more common to invite people to just the ceremony...but now a days, you'd probably hear from someone no matter which way you went.

My aunt told me I should put what time the reception was starting on my invitations in case someone wasn't going to be there for the ceremony (everyone who's invited is invited to both). I was appalled! If they couldn't make the effort to be there an hour earlier for the ceremony, then I didn't want them at my reception. The ceremony's the important part anyways. It's not like my ceremony is early or anything. I intentionally put it at 3:00pm so that people who were driving from Detroit could leave at 11:00 and still get there with an hour to spare.

Sorry, that bugged me...:bbredface: