usahgrad
01-22-2006, 09:28 AM
Ok, I had to cool off a bit before I wrote this or it was quite possible that I would put my head through the computer screen.
Last weekend, we went down to Maryland to celebrate my niece's first birthday. Oi! She is a CUTIE! She'll be my flower girl so I spent a good part of the short time we were there working on getting her to walk. She stands up on her own and will take steps if you guide her, so I'm not too worried about her walking by May.
That's beside the point. Anyways, when the idea first came up that we could all going down together (my mother, sister and her ridiculous full of :censored: boyfriend were going to drive down to Ohio and then my FH and I would drive down to MD with them) to save on gas money and tolls, my sister wasn't so sure she'd be able to go due to work. As time went on, she had to take a day off for being sick (of course "sick" for my sister is "Ow, my pinky hurts." but anyway...) so it was looking like she really wasn't going to be able to come down.
Well, my cousin just moved to Maryland not too long ago and my aunt asked my mother to take some stuff down to him (this was enough stuff to fill the back end of my jeep...but it was just "some"). Thinking my sister and her bf weren't going to come, my mother said sure. She figured we'd have room with just the three of us.
Here's where it gets interesting; my ridiculous sister got herself fired from her job last Thursday. This causes two problems:
1. After she pulled her last stupid stunt on my mother, I convinced my mother to press charges. My sister took my mother's debit card and pulled $250 from the bank, replaced my mother's debit card back in her purse, and used the $250 to pay an outstanding traffic ticket. She didn't want to ask for the money because she didn't want my mother to get mad at her (she's had quite a few tickets) and figured she could get the money back into the bank before my mother noticed (I don't think that would be possible for my sister even if money was falling from the sky!).
Well, Mama noticed that day and confronted Gabi (my sister) immediately. Gabi denied taking the money. So my mother, upon my advise (because we all knew Gabi had taken it), called the cops and filed a police report. After some investigation, they figured out it was my sister (that's what we pay our taxes for). Well, Gabi came clean with Mama and asked her to drop the charges.
This is where I come in again; I didn't want my mother to drop the charges because my sister pulls a lot of stupid stuff (I'm sure you all know what word I wanted to put there) and she doesn't get punished for any of it. So I convince my mother not to drop the charges.
Gabi's sentencing is the first week of February. They lessened the charges from a criminal charge (due to the fact it was a bank card so it gets into identity theft) to a misdemeanor with the stipulation that, by the sentencing, my sister must have a full time job so that she can pay the court fees, pay my mother back, and pay for counseling and anger management classes (which she doesn't think she needs...good thing the court does). Well, her sentencing is two weeks away. If she doesn't have a full time job, she will probably end up in jail (which takes her out of the bridal party).
2. She gets fired, that means, all of a sudden, she can come. And of course, we said it was ok before so it was okay now. She's the type that automatically assumes the world will bend around her every whim and will.
Well, I said, yes, we could probably squeeze her in with the stuff, but I wasn't so sure of her bf. She knows that I really don't like her bf, so she looks at this as an I-don't-want-him-to-come-so-I'm-not-letting-him type of situation; not as the there-isn't-room-for-him-in-the-car-so-unless-we-strap-him-to-the-roof-rack (which he agreed to...idiot)-he-can't-come type of situation it actually was. I even said he was totally welcome to come if she stayed home seeing as how we only had room for one more person. She threw a fit! She called me a million times at work on Friday (could have gotten me fired if my boss wasn't in the field all week). It was so bad, I had to turn my phone off.
Finally, I loose it and I call my FH, in tears because she's ragging me out for being a hateful ***He tells me she's not allowed in our house and that should solve the problem right? She can't come with us because she can't stay that night in our house and she doesn't have the money to come on her own. So I call my mother and tell her this so she can convey it on to my sister, because I am still at work.
Well, Gabi got her last paycheck on Friday, so she said she could come. But she asked Mama for the money to get back. Her paycheck only covers her trip down there. My mother, in the way that she gives into EVERYTHING my sister asks for...says ok. My sister and her bf head down separately and my mother comes and rides down with me (my FH ended up having to work...stupid job he doesn't even technically have).
Well, Sunday, after my mother has given my sister much more money than she thought my sister needed (because my sister gallavanted all over kingdom come visiting friends) my mother declares to me, "I'm not giving her anymore money. She wants to go somewhere or see her family for family functions, she's gotta figure out how to get there herself." This is all well and good except for the fact that, providing my sister isn't in jail, the next family function she has to drive to is...MY WEDDING!
I am so perturbed with my family. I try to discuss wedding plans with my mother and she skips over to my sister's latest antics. I tell my mother that I have told my sister that she can invite a guest to the wedding and my mother reems me out because she thinks I'm going to create a scene with that full of :censored:, idiotic bf (the way I look at it, he won't even be at my table, so I don't have to talk to him). I was talking about money and how I had bought some paper or some flowers for the wedding and my mother cautions me from spending too much because she just doesn't have the money to give me if I need it and then she turns around and gives my sister money for everything.
My mother has this idea that because we're both her children, that she should treat us equally. Which would be totally fine except for the fact that I have worked my butt off to get through high school, get a decent scholarship to college, get through college and graduate cum laude. My sister spent five years in high school and didn't actually finish. She left part way through her fifth year and went to an alternative education school. We're not allowed to mention this because she did get her H.S. Diploma, so that makes her my equal. She has no ambition and spends all of her money on putting holes in her face and ink under her skin (which I have no problem with...if she had the money to do it). She's irresponsible and has some serious self-entitlement issues. And my mother feeds into it.
I believe a person has to EARN things and because I believe this, it makes me the bad guy because I'm frustrated that my sister gets everything that I get. What am I working so hard for if I can just turn to Mama and get everything I want anyways? I know, when my mother's gone, my sister's going to be royally :censored: , but it's still frustrating.
And then, to top everything off, I don't feel like my wedding matters at all to my sister. My mother told my sister that she didn't have the money to drive down last weekend in two separate cars because she had a wedding coming up soon that she was putting a lot of money into. What's my sister's response? "You need to cut corners with the wedding!" I have cut corners left and right. We only hired two vendors; the florist, who is ONLY doing bouquets, bouts, and corsages, and the photographer (and that was because that was REALLY important to me and EVERYONE knew it). We're in a community park, I'm making most of the decorations, my FMiL has hired someone from her work to do the catering. Yes my dress was slightly expensive, but I'm paying for most of it. And yet, because my sister wants her bf to go down for the party, we need to cut more corners at my wedding.
I want to tell her she's not invited to the wedding, but I know years down the line I'll regret not having her there. I try to discuss my frustrations with both of them and it turns into a screaming match because I'm being rude and self-conceited.
I'm sorry you guys...I didn't mean to go off like this. I guess I was just totally sick of this and I can't complain to my FH anymore because he's totally sick of it too. Sorry this is so long.
Last weekend, we went down to Maryland to celebrate my niece's first birthday. Oi! She is a CUTIE! She'll be my flower girl so I spent a good part of the short time we were there working on getting her to walk. She stands up on her own and will take steps if you guide her, so I'm not too worried about her walking by May.
That's beside the point. Anyways, when the idea first came up that we could all going down together (my mother, sister and her ridiculous full of :censored: boyfriend were going to drive down to Ohio and then my FH and I would drive down to MD with them) to save on gas money and tolls, my sister wasn't so sure she'd be able to go due to work. As time went on, she had to take a day off for being sick (of course "sick" for my sister is "Ow, my pinky hurts." but anyway...) so it was looking like she really wasn't going to be able to come down.
Well, my cousin just moved to Maryland not too long ago and my aunt asked my mother to take some stuff down to him (this was enough stuff to fill the back end of my jeep...but it was just "some"). Thinking my sister and her bf weren't going to come, my mother said sure. She figured we'd have room with just the three of us.
Here's where it gets interesting; my ridiculous sister got herself fired from her job last Thursday. This causes two problems:
1. After she pulled her last stupid stunt on my mother, I convinced my mother to press charges. My sister took my mother's debit card and pulled $250 from the bank, replaced my mother's debit card back in her purse, and used the $250 to pay an outstanding traffic ticket. She didn't want to ask for the money because she didn't want my mother to get mad at her (she's had quite a few tickets) and figured she could get the money back into the bank before my mother noticed (I don't think that would be possible for my sister even if money was falling from the sky!).
Well, Mama noticed that day and confronted Gabi (my sister) immediately. Gabi denied taking the money. So my mother, upon my advise (because we all knew Gabi had taken it), called the cops and filed a police report. After some investigation, they figured out it was my sister (that's what we pay our taxes for). Well, Gabi came clean with Mama and asked her to drop the charges.
This is where I come in again; I didn't want my mother to drop the charges because my sister pulls a lot of stupid stuff (I'm sure you all know what word I wanted to put there) and she doesn't get punished for any of it. So I convince my mother not to drop the charges.
Gabi's sentencing is the first week of February. They lessened the charges from a criminal charge (due to the fact it was a bank card so it gets into identity theft) to a misdemeanor with the stipulation that, by the sentencing, my sister must have a full time job so that she can pay the court fees, pay my mother back, and pay for counseling and anger management classes (which she doesn't think she needs...good thing the court does). Well, her sentencing is two weeks away. If she doesn't have a full time job, she will probably end up in jail (which takes her out of the bridal party).
2. She gets fired, that means, all of a sudden, she can come. And of course, we said it was ok before so it was okay now. She's the type that automatically assumes the world will bend around her every whim and will.
Well, I said, yes, we could probably squeeze her in with the stuff, but I wasn't so sure of her bf. She knows that I really don't like her bf, so she looks at this as an I-don't-want-him-to-come-so-I'm-not-letting-him type of situation; not as the there-isn't-room-for-him-in-the-car-so-unless-we-strap-him-to-the-roof-rack (which he agreed to...idiot)-he-can't-come type of situation it actually was. I even said he was totally welcome to come if she stayed home seeing as how we only had room for one more person. She threw a fit! She called me a million times at work on Friday (could have gotten me fired if my boss wasn't in the field all week). It was so bad, I had to turn my phone off.
Finally, I loose it and I call my FH, in tears because she's ragging me out for being a hateful ***He tells me she's not allowed in our house and that should solve the problem right? She can't come with us because she can't stay that night in our house and she doesn't have the money to come on her own. So I call my mother and tell her this so she can convey it on to my sister, because I am still at work.
Well, Gabi got her last paycheck on Friday, so she said she could come. But she asked Mama for the money to get back. Her paycheck only covers her trip down there. My mother, in the way that she gives into EVERYTHING my sister asks for...says ok. My sister and her bf head down separately and my mother comes and rides down with me (my FH ended up having to work...stupid job he doesn't even technically have).
Well, Sunday, after my mother has given my sister much more money than she thought my sister needed (because my sister gallavanted all over kingdom come visiting friends) my mother declares to me, "I'm not giving her anymore money. She wants to go somewhere or see her family for family functions, she's gotta figure out how to get there herself." This is all well and good except for the fact that, providing my sister isn't in jail, the next family function she has to drive to is...MY WEDDING!
I am so perturbed with my family. I try to discuss wedding plans with my mother and she skips over to my sister's latest antics. I tell my mother that I have told my sister that she can invite a guest to the wedding and my mother reems me out because she thinks I'm going to create a scene with that full of :censored:, idiotic bf (the way I look at it, he won't even be at my table, so I don't have to talk to him). I was talking about money and how I had bought some paper or some flowers for the wedding and my mother cautions me from spending too much because she just doesn't have the money to give me if I need it and then she turns around and gives my sister money for everything.
My mother has this idea that because we're both her children, that she should treat us equally. Which would be totally fine except for the fact that I have worked my butt off to get through high school, get a decent scholarship to college, get through college and graduate cum laude. My sister spent five years in high school and didn't actually finish. She left part way through her fifth year and went to an alternative education school. We're not allowed to mention this because she did get her H.S. Diploma, so that makes her my equal. She has no ambition and spends all of her money on putting holes in her face and ink under her skin (which I have no problem with...if she had the money to do it). She's irresponsible and has some serious self-entitlement issues. And my mother feeds into it.
I believe a person has to EARN things and because I believe this, it makes me the bad guy because I'm frustrated that my sister gets everything that I get. What am I working so hard for if I can just turn to Mama and get everything I want anyways? I know, when my mother's gone, my sister's going to be royally :censored: , but it's still frustrating.
And then, to top everything off, I don't feel like my wedding matters at all to my sister. My mother told my sister that she didn't have the money to drive down last weekend in two separate cars because she had a wedding coming up soon that she was putting a lot of money into. What's my sister's response? "You need to cut corners with the wedding!" I have cut corners left and right. We only hired two vendors; the florist, who is ONLY doing bouquets, bouts, and corsages, and the photographer (and that was because that was REALLY important to me and EVERYONE knew it). We're in a community park, I'm making most of the decorations, my FMiL has hired someone from her work to do the catering. Yes my dress was slightly expensive, but I'm paying for most of it. And yet, because my sister wants her bf to go down for the party, we need to cut more corners at my wedding.
I want to tell her she's not invited to the wedding, but I know years down the line I'll regret not having her there. I try to discuss my frustrations with both of them and it turns into a screaming match because I'm being rude and self-conceited.
I'm sorry you guys...I didn't mean to go off like this. I guess I was just totally sick of this and I can't complain to my FH anymore because he's totally sick of it too. Sorry this is so long.