Some BFF!!!!

[SouthernQueenBride]

Ok ... this is def. a VENT! B/C right now I am soooooo mad!!!:hothead: I just got off the phone with my FH and he told me ... "See what your friends at onewed have to say about it!" GOOD IDEA HUH! Ok .. this could get long so I totally understand if you get bored and lose interest halfway thru b/c this might not be a big deal to some of you! BUT it takes A LOT to make me mad and right now I am BOILING!!!!

Here is the back story:
I have lived with one of my MOH's/BFF (Kristen) for 3 years. We got a GREAT apartment together and when we moved in we bought some stuff together:
Couch and club chair $300
Drapes $50 each
Paint $100
And her brother was getting a new washer and dryer so he GAVE her the washer but made me pay $100 for the dryer. Don't ask me why I agreed b/c I should not have b/c he should have just GIVEN her the whole set.

So total: together we each put in about $325. Well as some of you know me and the FH just moved in togther. Well we had a really hard time getting everything moved b/c of his crazy schedule, my crazy schedule and getting my brothers work truck so we would not have to spend $$$ renting a truck. Well we got everything out of his apartment b/c he was leaving his but Kristen was going to stay at our apartment. Keep in mind I have paid rent every month even though I started staying jsut about every night at FH's apartment.

Well... I officially moved out of the apartment at the first of November. SO I went and loaded up FH's Jeep with all of the stuff that I could get into the jeep. Now all that is left is my big furnture in my bedroom. (Dresser, Curio Cabinet, 2 small end tables) I have not paid rent in November b/c we moved into the apartment in November. So she is paying all the rent b/c that is what she wanted to do ... live by herself. This is not a big deal for her since her mom and dad STILL pay all her bills. AND she goes shopping each single week. (She always wears a new outfit) I digress ...

But she KNOWS how tight money is for us right now and she KNOWS how hard it is for me to get someone to help move the big furnature. So I was over there the other day picking up some mail and I asked her how we would split the $$$ for what I put into the furniture, paint and dryer. B/C she told me that she was going to keep it all. (I never even had a say in who was going to keep what. She just said that she was going to keep it) We have talked about it before and it was HER idea to just buy me out of it (not for the total price b/c we have lived together for 3 years which was my idea... but at least $150!!!) She told me ... "Well, I figured since your dresser and cabinet has been here for november we could just call it even b/c you have yet to move out all your stuff!" Well that did tick me off but I let it go ... I thought that was kinda shady of her since she knows how hard it is for me to get a truck and someone to help move those big peices. Not to mention that my stuff is NOT in her way. It is against one wall in my old bedroom.

WEll she calls me last night and we are talking and I am upset b/c I am telling her all about how I am having to work late every night this week and that Brandon is gone out of town to South Carolina to take some big test thingy for residency. And she was like, "Well, you need to come and get your furnature by the end of this month. If you don't come and get it then I am going to charge you some more money!!!!" AGHHHHHH! She is telling me this while she is going shopping (not like she is in need of money. Her parents pay all her bills still) I thought she was joking so I laughed and said, "Yeah right!" And she said, "Lauren, I am serious! I am so tired of you waiting on Brandon or your brother. This needs to be out so I will have somewhere to put my boxes when I pack up" TO PUT HER BOXES!!! IT IS ONE FREAKING DRESSER AND A CURIO CABINET AND 2 SMALL END TABLES THAT ARE TOO HEAVY FOR ME TO LIFT MYSELF IN THIS HUUUUUUGE EMPTY ROOM!!!!!!

OH YEAH ... ALMOST FORGOT --- she is moving out at the END of December. b/c she just bought a house!!!! So it is NOT like she is even going to PUT anything in that room where my dresser and cabinet is except for boxes!!!! If anything I figured she would understand about me, Brandon's and my brothers schedule not being that flexible and offer to let me keep it there til she moves out. But she was sooooo serious about "charging me more money" if I don't have it out in 3 days!!! Beeee-otch!!! I was sooo upset that I just got off the phone with her.

I mean, she KNOWS that things are soooo crazy right now for me and I would THINK that a good friend would offer to help me out. To be honest this does not come as a surprise. She will nickle and dime just about everyone!!!
I am sooooo pissed right now! Just wanted to :hothead: vent ... so thanks!

[SerendipityCrafts]

Whoaaaa you sure Kristen isn't a drag queen because she's got balls! I can't believe she expects you to call it even / ie pay $150 to essentially rent a room for your stuff for a month?!!!!

Can you say ..... "OK we will call it even and oh yes .... before I forget, you are no longer my MOH"?

[HisMuse]

I'd be livid, that's no way for a friend to act. I could understand if someone was moving into the room or if she was moving out by the end of the month but otherwise, it seems unreasonable to me.

This is your MOH??

[crazydaizychiki]

WOW you should tell her she's being unreasonable. Try to explain why it's hard for you. Explain to her that she has plenty of room. Maybe explain why money is tight for you and why she shouldn't charge you. Maybe you should talk to her parents and have THEM PAY for movers for you. I wonder if they know what they've made her into.

[Brad's Bride in 08]

Wow...I don't even know what to say! I am so sorry you have to go through that with a so called "BFF." When does Brandon come back in town? Will you even be able to get your brother to help or anything. She should have atleast offered you some help or something. There's absolutely no point in you having to move the stuff if she is moving anyways. Gosh I am so sorry sweetie. Good luck!!

[lizardbnorton]

I think she needs a wake up all. She doesn't seem like much of a friend. I, like you, would be totally pissed right now.

[Krimangel]

That Is Just CRAPPY. But Are You Surprised? From The Sound Of It (with Her Parents Still Taking Care Of Her) She Sounds A Little Selfish.

Im Sorry This Is Going On For You, She Should Be A Better Friend And Understand, What Are You Going To Do? Is There No One Else That Could Help You Move It, Other Than Brandon Or Your Brother?

[bichonlvr]

This totally stinks, friends generally let you keep stuff at their houses, you know???....BUT maybe she feels like you are taking advantage of her! I am NOT saying you are I am just trying to see why your BFF is being like this..... Does she have a BF? Maybe she is jealous of you and Brandon and is taking it out like this? I am going with the whole jealous thing!!!!!

There is something else going on with her!!!

If I were you I would talk to her using the words..."I hear what you are saying about the furniture...But help me understand...BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Hang in there...HUGS LADY!

[frenchie]

WOW that really stinks I'm really sorry for you and I hope things will work out.
Whatever happens, she can't MAKE you pay her anything. You can't make her give you money for some of the stuff you bought and used together, and she can't make you pay either - what's she going to do? File a lawsuit? You don't even live there anymore! She can't charge you rent. She's not using the room so just tell her to leave you alone about it or she may lose you as a friend because she is acting like SUCH a brat right now.
What next? Will she expect you to pay for her MOH dress? And for her transportation and lodging too? She sounds really greedy.

[EarlyBird]

Lauren, you CANT be serious- i know she is your bff/moh but are you sure you made the right decision.. i mean what happens come bridal shower time... she gonna collect money from you?!?!?!?!?! Think this through, think of any other time she may have pulled this, and maybe talk to her about it - I mean i would never think of doing this to a friend.. in fact- in my garage i have my best friends boxes (actually two different best friends have their boxes here) b/c they moved int smaller places and couldnt take some stuff- yah it an get annoying when i cant park my car there but then again, thats what friends are for.... well the truth is, this girl sound really shallow (all about money) and i dont know how you guys were ok for 3 yrs...

Really though, best friend or not, this is rude and if your ready to take her away from being your MOH, i would really let her know it was HER actions to do this - something like "my 5 pieces of furniture are not bothering you, i have tried everything possible to accomodate you and im trying to juggle everything at once. I cant see calling it EVEN with all that money cuz i had furniture left there, its not like you didnt know what was going on. If you think that you can treat ppl this way, think again" Truth is, if she is a true friend, in time she will realize your right, and your friendship will prevail (i had a friend this happened with, i am not longerr her MOH and she isnt mine but our friendship has been building again and its been a yr since our buildup) Also, ever think she may be jealous?? i mean here you are marrying someone wonderful, moving in with him, happy --- remember money doesnt always buy happiness so that shopping habit of hers will only get her so far.. good luck

[SouthernQueenBride]

Ha! Every single one of you are right!!! I love her to death and this REALLY is not all her fault b/c I LET her do it!

We have been friends for OVER 6 years and we are really night and day. She is VERY selfish and will even admit to being this way b/c things have ALWAYS been handed to her. The thing is, she admits to it but she never tries to change it. She is the epitome of the phrase, "the world revolves around me".
She always calls the shots and makes the decisions... I am soooo "whatever" about things that I just let her do it ... therefore I think our friendship has really been based upon the idea of "What Kristen says goes". And THAT is my fault so like I said, I am not that surprised that she pulled this especially about $$$ b/c she has always nickles and dimes everyone. "Remember that time I bought you a beer 3 months ago ... so you owe me one or do you just want to give me $3.00" that kind of thing. Not that I would never pay her back or whatever ... but just very nitpicky about things.

When me and Brandon first started dating she did have issues (like she ALWAYS does with every single guy I date) but since then it has worked itself out and she does like Brandon so I don't think it is that. It is not like I am her only friend b/c she is part of a huge group of girls where we all consider ourselves best friends. And she has been soooo excited about being my MOH b/c she has never been one. And she is a really good one b/c she has already planned 2 of my showers and my bachelorette party. But of course ... I have no input hardly.

Luckily Brandon will be back tonight (though, he will probably be too tired to move anything) so hopefully I will have someone help me move it this week. I could probably ask my friends husband to help me move it ... but I just HATE asking others for help. You know??? I just don't want to make anyone feel like they should help me although I know that they would not mind at all.

I think I am just going to drop it with her unless she brings it up again. I will tell her that she can kiss it b/c I am not paying her a dime and she is a bad friend to ask that when she KNOWS my situation. Thanks for the advice girls... sometimes I scratch my head and wonder what makes our friendship work ... but it just does. Can you believe though that we have NEVER been in a huge fight before. She just does these stupid/bitchy things and I fuss about it and then get over it. :rain:
Ahhhh ... I am such a push over!

[SerendipityCrafts]

Hey, here is an idea .... why not print out this thread and let her see just how others view her behaviour.

[bichonlvr]

Hey, here is an idea .... why not print out this thread and let her see just how others view her behaviour.

Good call!!!!

[HisMuse]

I have a couple friends like this...where the world revolves around them. I've fallen out with them so many times but I'm a pushover, I always go back.

[SerendipityCrafts]

I have a couple friends like this...where the world revolves around them. I've fallen out with them so many times but I'm a pushover, I always go back.

One nice thing about getting old and crochety like me :) ...... you stop putting up with the **** that so called "friends" dish out because you just realize that you don't need it in your life.

I would bend over backwards for a friend & stranger alike (and have done so many times) but I am not about to let anyone walk all over me.

[Dani]

My mouth hit the floor. Oh my gosh! I am sorry that your friend is acting like that!

[bichonlvr]

One nice thing about getting old and crochety like me :) ...... you stop putting up with the **** that so called "friends" dish out because you just realize that you don't need it in your life.


SERIOUSLY!!!

You win some you lose some...life is too short to put up with Cr@p friends!!!!!

[Nekochanpurr]

Wow, thats awful! Thats not a friend, a friend doesn't treat you like that! I'm telling you right now, you should make sure she knows you won't put up with it anymore! Could you imagine when she gets married.. Has kids? Who do you think shes going to come to and EXPECT help now! I'd set her straight before something REALLY serious happens..

[SouthernQueenBride]

Hey, here is an idea .... why not print out this thread and let her see just how others view her behaviour.

Great idea! I might just do that!

She has already lost a friend, a very close friend b/c of her behavior. Dori *who is also in my wedding* and Kristen used to have the exact relationship until Kristen just finally pushed to much and overstepped the boundaries of friendship and now they are not close at all. I don't want that to happen. The more I think about it the more I get mad. Brandon has already told me that I need to confront her and tell her face to face that she this is really low and selfish and just lay it all on the table. I KNOW this is the best thing ... but I am just DREADING the reaction/outcome.
:rain:

[bichonlvr]

Is this the same friend who has something against fluffy~chubby girls???

[SouthernQueenBride]

Is this the same friend who has something against fluffy~chubby girls???

No ... not the same girl! Although I am sure yall must be wondering about me and how I pick my friends right about now huh? LOL
Actually she is one of the "Fluffy" girls ... although I do not think she fat at all! She is seriously just a self acknowledged "bee-otch"

[HisMuse]

One nice thing about getting old and crochety like me :) ...... you stop putting up with the **** that so called "friends" dish out because you just realize that you don't need it in your life.

I would bend over backwards for a friend & stranger alike (and have done so many times) but I am not about to let anyone walk all over me.

Oh I know, I'm getting better about this with age but Erik still complains how I let my friends treat me.

[Kirby]

Wow, what nerve!! This girl has problems. I don't see why a few of your things in an empty room are such a big deal to her. Don't give her any money! She is the one who owes you money for all the stuff you guys bought together.

[flyerso6]

Can you say spoiled brat. I had a friend like this, everything handed to her, thinks the world revolved around here. We havent talked in years. And to be honest I wouldnt give her a dime, she can't charge you unless you actually agree to give her the money, she would also no longer be my MOH.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Oh I know, I'm getting better about this with age but Erik still complains how I let my friends treat me.

LOL it's coming girl ... crochety-ness can only develop with time :) It's like fine wine.

[soontobemrs]

Great idea! I might just do that!

She has already lost a friend, a very close friend b/c of her behavior. Dori *who is also in my wedding* and Kristen used to have the exact relationship until Kristen just finally pushed to much and overstepped the boundaries of friendship and now they are not close at all. I don't want that to happen. The more I think about it the more I get mad. Brandon has already told me that I need to confront her and tell her face to face that she this is really low and selfish and just lay it all on the table. I KNOW this is the best thing ... but I am just DREADING the reaction/outcome.
:rain:

I agree with Brandon - lay it all on the table - Her reaction/outcome will give you the answer you are looking for about whether she is a true friend or not. *Hugs"

[EarlyBird]

Great idea! I might just do that!

She has already lost a friend, a very close friend b/c of her behavior. Dori *who is also in my wedding* and Kristen used to have the exact relationship until Kristen just finally pushed to much and overstepped the boundaries of friendship and now they are not close at all. I don't want that to happen. The more I think about it the more I get mad. Brandon has already told me that I need to confront her and tell her face to face that she this is really low and selfish and just lay it all on the table. I KNOW this is the best thing ... but I am just DREADING the reaction/outcome.
:rain:

unfortunatley lauren, it seems like she acts she is still n hightschool and at one point, she needs to stop acting tha way- she needs to grow up... thats what it comes down too.. cuz remember how people go through friends like underwear in HS??? thats what gonna start happening, people will grow up and sick of it!

[heatherh321]

That is so shaddy for a close friend to do that! I would be pi**ed as well. I have a friend who is a self-proclaimed BI*CH but she never goes things like this to her own friends. I have just learned to accept her as she is but when someone is being so ugly TO YOU it is hard to do that! I would lay it out on the table and let her know how you feel. She sounds like a brat that feels entitled to act however she wants!!! Don't let her get away with this!:hothead:

[RevMatty]

Not to defend her, but I have done that myself. Charged my brother for storage in a room he use to rent for me. I was nice enough to charge him less, but I still charged him something. I could've had another person using that room and paying me rent, which would help me pay the bills. Or been using it as my storage space or something. He understood that, and was willing to pay me for the storage. And I understood, he was no longer living there, so I could give him a break. We compormised.
Friends should never fight over stuff like this, niether should flesh and blood. Don't let a friendship slip away over a few pieces of furniture. Don't let your anger get the best of you.
Friendship is never easy, it's like marriage, sometimes even worse. Especially with the ones that have been around you longer then you F/S or spose has been. If you can work out things in a friendship, especially the times a friend hurts or upsets you. You have the key to solving those difficult times in marriage.
Just my two cents.
Best of luck.

[HisMuse]

But I don't think she'll be living there much longer and wasn't going to rent out the room. If she needed to rent it out, that would be another story I think.

[SouthernQueenBride]

But I don't think she'll be living there much longer and wasn't going to rent out the room. If she needed to rent it out, that would be another story I think.

EXACTLY! She was never going to rent it out to begin with. Since most of the girls in our circle are married/in serious relationships, she was having a hard time finding a roommate.
When I talked to her early this week (Monday I believe) She was telling me that she bought a new townhouse/condo thingy and that she signs on Dec. 20. So as soon as she mentioned that, I was like ... "Oh good ... I could probably just wait til my Holiday break kicks in to go get my stuff!" But as soon as she told me the date ... she then went into the whole spiel of "You need to come get it NOW b/c I need somewhere to put my empty boxes." I was so angry about this whole thing yesterday and STILL today that I have not brought myself to talk to her when we usually talk every other day. I did talk to another one of my BFF's/BM and she was appalled! She thought that she was just acting this way to get a rise out of me b/c I have been so busy lately and I have not had as much time for a social life/friends. Whatev! I think I am going to cool off for the rest of this week and then get Brandon to help me and my Brother move it on Friday after work. I will probably tell her, that she really hurt my feelings and taht it was the principle of the thing that really hurt.

Thanks girls (and Matty!) Hugs!:heart:

[septemberbride06]

good idea! I think that is the perfect solution, and although I've never been in this situation personally I've seen it happen to plenty of others.
It sounds like maybe your friend is jealous over your and Brandon's relationship and soon marriage..as you stated all of your friends are either dating or married and because she's not she feels like the outsider :(

I know It's hard to swallow your pride (especially when YOUR RIGHT) but maybe you should order up some pizza, grab a 6 pack and head over and TELL her why her attitude is bothering you, and that you'll make the best effort you can to try and get your stuff outta there pronto!
I'm SURE she'll understand and if not...tell her you can't be "bogged" down by someone who disrespects you as much as she does...then, let her be your MOH and demand her respect before you two hang again :bbidea:

[Krimangel]

I know It's hard to swallow your pride (especially when YOUR RIGHT)

my goodness sometimes I HATE having to be an ADULT! gaw:whoa:

sometimes you just want to pull their pigtails and run.

[tinkerjew]

Ummm... hell to the no! She cannot charge you for keeping your stuff there! Ugh, this has me so pissed off right now. I'm sorry baby, but she sounds like a stuck-up b**** who's just jealous because you're getting married and the spotlight's on you! You deserve so much better than that!

Don't worry sweetheart; things will work themselves out and you will probably make a lot of realizations about her. But you need to stick up for yourself, too! I know you're dreading the outcome, but you have to ask yourself what's the worst that could happen. You might lose a "friend" who wasn't really a friend in the first place?

The good thing about being a "push-over" as you call it, in my eyes, is that we make the best friends. Don't worry, I know what it's like 'cause I'm a push-over, too!

[Littlemonkey]

I cannot believe that your BFF is treating you like that. Sorry to say, but she sounds a bit spoiled considering she appears to not have to worry about anything. She has her parents there to pick up the pieces. You deserve the best, and she should be supportive and understanding, and instead she is being a brat! She is not being a good friend, makes you wonder if she ever was.

I say, bite the bullet, and get your belonging out of there as fast as you can and then just move on. The faster you get your things out, the less you have to worry about hearing her whine and complain and not to mention nogt have to listen or deal with her childress threats. It is diguesting that she would treat you like this. The world does not just revolve around her. Jealously is an ugly thing....she will get what is coming to her. Karma is a
*****.

[SouthernQueenBride]

UPDATE ...

So ... things are really fine now. I don't know why she was acting that way at first. I really think it was b/c I was not hanging out at much with her and the other girls. So she was starting to get pissy! I called and talked to one of our other really best friends about the situation and I think she talked to Kristen and told her that it really hurt my feelings and that she was being spoiled and bratty.

Well... Kristen called me on Friday (I was not going to answer - but I did) and she was really nice. She just told me about her day and asked about mine. Then in the middle of our convo ... out of the blue she said, "Well, I guess it does not matter if you need to leave your dresser here b/c I am planning on being out of here on the 20th ... if that is easier on you then that is cool" She never really apologized, but for her that was a big step so I took what I could get and was fine with it. We ended up going to a football game that night and had a great time. She has really been a good friend with the exception of these little bratty spells.... but hopefully everything will be ok from now on out.
Thanks for all the great responses and advice! You girls *and Matty* are the greatest!!!:heart:

[bichonlvr]

Girls get jealous and sad when we don't spend soo much time with them...I swear girls need attention!!!

I am soo happy that it worked out!

[SouthernQueenBride]

Girls get jealous and sad when we don't spend soo much time with them...I swear girls need attention!!!

I am soo happy that it worked out!

Yup! And it is always the single ones!!! I remember her doing this to our other friend but when she got married ... she started to back off. I did tell her this weekend that my new DIY was going to be to get her a Boyfriend! HA!

[bichonlvr]

Yup! And it is always the single ones!!! I remember her doing this to our other friend but when she got married ... she started to back off. I did tell her this weekend that my new DIY was going to be to get her a Boyfriend! HA!

Single ones indeed and they don't get that things you do when you are single, you don't do when you are about to be married, or married for that matter! Was I like that ?!?! :)