Been thinking about why weddings are sooo expensive

[frenchie]

It's like an expectation, that it's OK to spend thousands of dollars on an event that only lasts a day, instead of investing that money into a new life together that is starting out.

And that really, really doesn't make sense to me. Of course I want the fairytale as much as the next person, but if you had told me a couple years ago that I would be spending so much on my wedding I might have fainted - and I'm a budget bride paying under 4000$ total all included!

So I was thinking "what about the old days? I'm sure they didn't spend so much back then, it's just modern marketing, like christmas. A few decades ago, an orange was a christmas present, wasn't it?"

And then I realized that that just wasn't true. Weddings have ALWAYS been money-spending affairs, halfway political, a display of wealth and interest, and the couple themselves often didn't have any say in it at all - sometimes not even as far as the choice of spouse goes.

And I'm getting to wondering if the tendancy to want to spend SOOOO much money doesn't come back from the days where families were trying to impress people. And it just got more modern? Either way I seriously wish it wasn't sooo much - some people spend enough on a wedding to use that as a down payment for a small house! That isn't our case but if we were spending the french average (20000 euros) it would be...

Well I'm done rambling on now - tell me what you think.

[Danielle9608]

I think wedding have always been an expensive affair, partly because of image and partly because you only do it once (hopefully). I personally don't like the fact that we are spending some much (about 25k), but in some regions you really don't have any other choice. You want to do it right and you want to do what you can afford. Jon and I are very fortunate that we were able to buy a home before getting married. I also think that is why people are waiting longer and longer to get married, because it is hard for young couples to pay for a wedding and buy and home and get on their feet. I really don't have any answers either :purplex:

[StarCoveter]

I think that a lot of people still do big, expensive weddings as a status thing, but others spend a lot because they only do it once (hopefully!). It's something that you don't want to mess up, and if that means spending a few thousand dollars, most people are okay with not having to worry.

[septemberbride06]

Honestly, If I had money to spend on my weddig things would have been different...way different, BUT me and Joe were just starting out and did what we could....to me It's not about the frill, or the status, or any of that It's about a celebration to show how much you love your spouse, and that could mean spending $1,000.000 or $50,000.00 IMHO.
People (here anyway) put too much emphasis on status and go all out just to prove they have money and wealth...silly to me but again JMO :whoa:

[ChibiAiChan]

i spent under $2000 wedding and reception. I agree with you completely! I rather have that money for a house or something for us in the future... BTW we had a lovely wedding and reception. What matters is the memories and WHY you are getting married, not the money you spend (especially when you don't have the money! heh! Like me XD)

[SerendipityCrafts]

I believe that there is always a choice as to how much we spend on a wedding. The problem is as I see it is that we feel a need to fufill a dream - the bride's, the mother's or the mother inlaws.

Most of us don't have the expendable money to fufill that dream. Someone normally ends up going into debt. You are right ..... any "sane" person would take the money and invest it in their future (house) instead because the reality is - when all is said and done, it's just a day.

LOL now with all that said, I too bought into the dream for my first wedding but we ended up living in an apartment until my oldest child was 5 (and we never would have had the home at all without the help of my parents). I learned my lesson the second time round ...... what may have been necessary to have for my first wedding were not at all when I married for the second time.

[Danielle9608]

Honestly, If I had money to spend on my weddig things would have been different...way different, BUT me and Joe were just starting out and did what we could....to me It's not about the frill, or the status, or any of that It's about a celebration to show how much you love your spouse, and that could mean spending $1,000.000 or $50,000.00 IMHO.
People (here anyway) put too much emphasis on status and go all out just to prove they have money and wealth...silly to me but again JMO :whoa:

Do you mean here as in the US or OW?

[exoduslaughin]

I completely agree. We started out with the plan of going to Las Vegas with our parents and a few close friends. It was my parents who did not like the idea at all, and they wanted me to have a formal wedding. But my mom kept saying it was up to me what we finally did. FH and I don't have the money to pay for a wedding, and I didn't want my parents to spend so much money. But ultimately I decided that if it was so important to them, we would have a wedding. So I proposed that we do something small and intimate at my parents house... well, my mom's guest list is huge... plus she wanted an all out formal affair. So basically we figured out that it would cost only a little more to have it somewhere, without all the work involved in an at-home wedding. So thus my small wedding is no longer small. But even though it is not what I originally wanted, I am looking forward to it and having lots of fun with the planning. So I guess it all worked out in the end. Except for the money part... most of the wedding is being paid for by my stock account, consisting of money left to me when my aunt passed away, the money has been sitting in the account growing... I think it will all be used toward the wedding. I would have liked to put the money to different use, but at least I am making my parents happy.

Looks like I rambled a bit too... sorry, kind of got off topic there. LOL.

[Whitewater]

In addition to what everybody's mentioned above, I think weddings are expensive because the people involved buy into (har har, no pun intended!) the Wedding Industry's bull hockey about what are the "essential MUST-HAVE" items.

Do I really *have* to have, or NEED a $25 little lace hankierchief when I can put a couple small travel packs of Kleenex (with their pretty little flower case) into my purse?

Is it ESSENTIAL that I buy a 'genuine Swarovski crystal cake cutting set' for an occasion in which I will only use this set once? And of course, to get said item I'll be paying $100.

Do I really NEED decorative fresh floral individual rose and orchid splays for each aisle chair?

Must I, lest I not be like all the other brides, have six bridesmaids at a cost of $125 per dress and $25 per necklace as a gift?

The wedding industry bombards brides with information about what they NEED, gives them literature about the ESSENTIALS, the MUST-HAVE's in their weddings, and then we wonder why a wedding costs $20,000!??!!

We are bamboozled into thinking we MUST have our reception in a beautiful hall, with expensive linens and china plates, we figure we HAVE to have our food catered, we HAVE to provide alcohol for our guests, we HAVE to have aisle runners and flower girls (plural) and knuckle-duster diamond ringers that are "absolutely wortheless, my dear" unless they're at LEAST a half-carat ("and believe me, Maude, that man didn't care enough about his FUTURE WIFE to buy her a diamond ring. He got her a ring that is just .14 carats! NO! *gasp* It's true! I wouldn't let any daughter of mine get married to such a cheapskate . . . .") . . . .

Renting stretch Hummers for get-away cars, live bands, all of that is stuff that we're told we supposedly NEED to make ourselves and our guests happy on our Big Day.

But do we really?

Really?

What makes us really happy? What, on our wedding day, would give us happiness and decrease the stress?

Personally I think that the less froo-froo "Stuff" I or my crew have to deal with, the better. Keep It Simple, Stupid!!! Anyway, the more stuff you have, the more you're going to pay for. Why not ignore what the bridal industry tells you and go with what you really want, what will really make you happy?

Seems to me that's the better way to go about a wedding.


Whitwater

[SerendipityCrafts]

In addition to what everybody's mentioned above, I think weddings are expensive because the people involved buy into (har har, no pun intended!) the Wedding Industry's bull hockey about what are the "essential MUST-HAVE" items.

Do I really *have* to have, or NEED a $25 little lace hankierchief when I can put a couple small travel packs of Kleenex (with their pretty little flower case) into my purse?

Is it ESSENTIAL that I buy a 'genuine Swarovski crystal cake cutting set' for an occasion in which I will only use this set once? And of course, to get said item I'll be paying $100.

Do I really NEED decorative fresh floral individual rose and orchid splays for each aisle chair?

Must I, lest I not be like all the other brides, have six bridesmaids at a cost of $125 per dress and $25 per necklace as a gift?

Maybe not ......... but you ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE a personalized & hand painted guest signature platter because your marriage would not be all that it could be, without one. :rofl: :)

*sorry, couldn't resist*

[crazydaizychiki]

I think there are definately fluctuations in our society's spending. I think it's starting to look like th 20's again. People threw mpney into everything they could. I think there have been a few modest generations, but, ours isn't one of them.

[shawnsgirl]

I think a lot of it has to do with supply and demand..I mean if people are willing to pay 30-60 dollars a person for meals than the vendors will continue to charge that amount.
Personally, I think things have gotten way out of hand. We had a 140 person affair, but we didn't have any frills, thrills, or out of this world things at our wedding. It was your run of the mill wedding day. I think what sometimes happens is some people wants to do something new, different, exciting for their wedding. Yeah, its nice but those things come with added costs. Every watch platinum weddings on WE?? They want the best and most of everything in most cases. As long as those people are wanting those types of things it drives the costs up in the wedding industry.
As well, vendors jack up the prices for weddings. If I paid our venue we had for our wedding reception to serve 140 people meal and if rented the same room on a saturday, had the same food, for the same amount of hours the cost would be considerably cheaper!
What can you do about?? Pretty much nothing..

It stinks..I think weddings and the cost of weddings are completely out of control. We worked with a small budget but I hated a lot of the spending. I kept thinking in the back of my mind..I could get a new living room sent. We could go on vacation with that. However, we did it to have both of our families and closets friends to share in our day all in the same room. It will probably be the only time that will ever happen. So, looking back it's not so bad...but, we did work within a budget we could afford that didn't strap us financially, we worked hard, and did what we could to cut corners. So I can say I'm pretty proud!

[L.J.Aguirre]

Honestly, If I had money to spend on my weddig things would have been different...way different, BUT me and Joe were just starting out and did what we could....to me It's not about the frill, or the status, or any of that It's about a celebration to show how much you love your spouse, and that could mean spending $1,000.000 or $50,000.00 IMHO.
People (here anyway) put too much emphasis on status and go all out just to prove they have money and wealth...silly to me but again JMO :whoa:
i totoally agree with everything said. and the girl below you who said she spent under 2k. i'm on the same boat with her. we're spending about that much. i don't need a lot of things and a wedding to me is a celebration of 2 people in love so as long as i have the time of my life that night (and it doesn't take much to please me) then in the end i'm still happy. our wedding is at the monte carlo. it's still going to be very nice.... not a cheap wedding. and either way im excited

[flyerso6]

I think alot of it is expensive because people know that couples getting married and/or their families will pay it because they get caught up in the momment. And places know that people will pay those prices.