making mistakes in planning?!?!?!

[LookingBridal]

Do you ever feel like you've made mistakes in your wedding plans?

I'm brandnew to the site, and I'm hoping I can get some and give some advice on wedding topics:)

So here's my trial:
I've been planning my wedding for three months and it's not until June this coming summer. We've chosen our venue- absolutely amazing vineyard with the perfect everything, except.... they are slightly small for our guest list. They seat "120" and we have exactly 120 guest so far listed. I'm worried we won't fit everyone in! They also don't like the idea of candles. I've worked in out with the coordinator and it's in our contract that we can have three floating candles at every table, but it's not precisely what I envisioned.

We also have a caterer that is a family friend and is doing everything dirt cheap for us and he's amazing at what he does, but he is very scattered and doesn't get back to me promptly(weeks will go by before I get a call back!)

I've also choosen blue and sliver for my colors which I love, but then I see pink and green and I love that! or pink and black and love that too... or (you get the picture)

I guess I'm just worried it won't look how I want it too. I also feel like vendors are fully taking advantage of my big day. They have all these extras tacted on to their "super low price" we have a $9000 budget! and I feel like we're not going to come under budget.

We still don't have a DJ or photographer because all of them seem to want thousands of dollars, even though their list price is a few hundred... it's so frustrating to feel like someone is trying to make more and more and more money off mine and my finance's happiness

Does anyone else feel this way?!?!?!

[ikkin510]

First off, for the guest list. Not everyone you invite will be able to attend the wedding. So You should be able to fit in the venue just fine. Even if you do invite a few more then 120.
As for the other issues. My DH and I changed our minds and second guessed a lot of things. I think most brides do. In the end, go with what makes you and your FH happiest. The day will turn out to be wonderful!

[StarCoveter]

Oh yes, I definitely feel frustrated with everything. I have not settled on a caterer or photographer either, because I cannot really find one that will do exactly what I need for the price I need. It's ridiculous to think that pictures cost so much!

Also, I am having the issue of wondering if it will look the way I want. Actually, I am having trouble figuring out exactly what I want. Part of me wants a lot of family and friends there, with a scheduled day and definite things that will take place (or won't)... but another part of me want something uber-casual, so that there's no stress about the day. Mainly, I want to save as much money as possible so that we can have an amazing honeymoon without worrying about the cost with that. We don't have a set budget - dirt cheap, really. i think right now we're going to hit around $7-8,000, including the honeymoon... but that's with it being super casual.

I need to give up on some of my ideas if I don't want to spend the money.

[LookingBridal]

That's what makes it mostly so stressful is that I don't want to have to settle for things I don't want and I do change my mind a lot:)

[EarlyBird]

for sure. m color is very hard to match and probably every couple days i think i should change it- i also worry that looking back i will hate everything i picked. I amso indecisive that i worry probably MOST about making a mistake in my planning :)

[Nekochanpurr]

LoL, i worry after everything we finalize.. Like 'omg i put down so much money, what if this doesn't work for us?!?!' I'm crazy, i think. >.<

[twu]

Actually, I decided to save myself a lot of stress and worrying about making the wrong decision by getting a wedding planner. It gives me quite a bit of peace of mind to know that my planner has organized and designed many, many weddings before mine whereas this would only be my first. But my budget is hovering at about 2x what yours is, so even if the planner is 2k, then I still have 18k to work with. Plus, I don't live in the city that I'll be getting married in, so it's necessary for me to have someone to do all my legwork.


If I were you, though, I would try to decide what was most important to me about the wedding. Do you want an awe-inspiring, gorgeous reception, or would you rather have an awesome, fun time? The former would indicate that you should focus your budget more on decorations, and the latter would mean spending more for an MC and band for the reception. You should also decide on the quality of execution on each aspect.

For example, if you don't mind photographs with a less interesting composition or non-optimal lightning, then you could try getting a student to photograph your wedding at a cheap price.

To pass along some advice I've gotten from talking to wedding planners, it's better to put some money into getting good linens and good lighting for you wedding than to put money towards flowers. Flowers are the biggest money dump for the least amount of impact. A modest centerpiece with nice lighting on it can look very rich.

I totally hear you on the colors, though. I pretty much just put my foot down with myself because I knew that there would be no end to my vacillating.

[BingBot]

Yes I'm always worried I may be making the wrong decision (hence my post today titled "help with my dress") It's so hard to make a choice when there are so many to choose from. Like a million dresses, photographers, venues, etc! Yikes! Haven't picked my photographer yet but that's my next to-do. I've been looking and they all are pretty expensive.

[TangoWedding]

My dress and photographer were super easy for me....as soon as I saw them, I knew they'd both be mine. The photog cost more than I wanted to spend, but the dress I got for under $100 on eBay. So that worked out great. :bblol:

However, I have re-designed my invitations about 30 times...and I'm not done yet. So yeah... :rain:

[Whitewater]

I think the whole 'I can't make a decision!!!!!' thing is something that everybody goes through with *something* at least, for their wedding. After all, it's a very special day in your life, you want it to go well, you want it to look nice, you want your guests to be happy . . . there's a lot of pressure that comes from you that goes on you, and I get it, because I'm doing the same thing!

In my case I worry mostly about the fact that our ceremony and reception are going to be outdoors. You know. Do we have enough money to rent everything we need, what about bathrooms, and parking? Rain? Shade? How will we deal with the logistics of getting everything from Here to There, and back again? What about the potluck? What if people refuse to cook?

There's a *thousand* worries that people could have.

After dealing with them myself the only way I've found so far to deal with them is to look them in the eye (and not pretend they don't exist!), figure out whether or not it's something to really worry about (f'rinstance, I *know* people will want to come to the reception and that they'll bring a dish -- that's an irrational fear) and then, if it's not a rational fear, I tell myself the truth, like I did with the potluck. If it *is* a real fear, I figure out solutions to it and talk to my FH about it, because he wants to help --and even if he didn't care about the wedding, he still cares about *me*, and he would want to help and support me.

I recently realized that renting an outdoor location for the wedding would cost *double* because I figured they'd charge us for the rehearsal as well.

My FH just *looked* at me. "It's a public park, if we bring about a dozen people to the park and wander around doing our thing for about an hour, what are they going to do? It'll be late June anyhow, there will be other people there -- don't even worry about being charged for the rehearsal."

Oh.

Heh. Sometimes we make things needlessly difficult on ourselves, too!


Whitewater

[nesi]

You do sound frustrated and that's not a good thing. This is what I would do in your situation:

Decide on a color scheme.
Stay within your budget (very important)
Have a list
Tell your planner what you want (exactly)

You can bargain with all your vendors. Just tell them this is your budget, and if they can't stay within that budget than you are going to look for other options. These people want your business! Never forget that. So shop around. Let them also know that you are shopping. This does not mean you have to be discourteous, just be firm.

People can advise you, but it is your day, so go with whatever pleases you. Listen to other's advise but follow your heart.
I can't think of any good reason to go into debt before you start your new life together.

[LookingBridal]

Well I have taken the weekend off with the future hubby and it was much needed. I was getting so stressed out. I fully realize there is lots more stress to come, but the most important part is taking time off from the planning and decisions to just have us time.

With that said I changed my invitations ... again, but I'm not buying anything of making anything for at least a month so I make sure it's what I really want.

I think it's so difficult because of the money that is going into the day... it makes it tough to part with thousands if it's not something you really want

And my FH finally got me all the addresses I need so that's one less thing on the stress list YAYAY!:whoohoo:

Thanks for all the advice it really helps :heart:

[LookingBridal]

Oh and this is my dress and location two things that are very set and I love the way they both look!:soppy:

http://www.beckenridge.com/img/facility_leftTop.jpg
http://www.beckenridge.com/img/winesBottom.jpg
http://www.beckenridge.com/img/locationTop.jpg

[LookingBridal]

(for some reason I couldn't get the dress to be the color blue in the picture, but it's the same color as my font color and the laces will also be the same color:rassberry: )

http://www.alfredangelo.com/images/products/0/08f7df67-ed15-4038-a2ec-43549de9b42f.enlargedBackDetail.jpg (javascript: changeImage('1678-600?wid=340&obj=main&sharpen=1',null,1);)

http://s7d4.scene7.com/ir/render/AlfredAngeloRender/1678-600?wid=340&obj=main&sharpen=1 (javascript: changeImage('1678-600?wid=340&obj=main&sharpen=1',null,1);)

http://www.alfredangelo.com/images/products/0/08f7df67-ed15-4038-a2ec-43549de9b42f.enlargedFrontDetail.jpg (javascript: changeImage('1678-600?wid=340&obj=main&sharpen=1',null,1);)