Trouble in Weddingville

[myanmystery1]

I recently found out that my significant other has been chatting online with an ex girlfriend. And by chatting I mean he has been pretty much nasty talking with her. I find out that he told her he is just seeing me, and not dating. Well no we were engaged at the time. I confronted him and her, he promises he will never do it again, and she wont talk to him at all. Am I doing the right thing by staying with him, and still getting married?:confused:

[CindySue]

Ok.....this is just my opinion, but its completely up to you whether you stay or not. If you love him and you believe that hes not going to talk to her or anyone else in a way he shouldnt, then by all means stay - if thats what you REALLY want. I would hold off on the wedding though. Not cancel it, just postpone it. The fact that you came to us shows that YOU need some time to think. You are hurt (and I would be too) and are having doubts. I completely understand that. Just take some time and weigh ALL of your options.
Hope I helped some.

[bnd94]

Boy I don't know what to say. I know if I was you I would be gone. I'm sorry I honestly don't mean to sound mean or harsh at all. I just have the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" stuck in my mind. I personally believe that. If you stay I would definetly keep a close eye on him. And postpone the wedding.

But everyone is different and as Cindy said if you love him and believe him then only you know him best. We can all tell you what we would do but when it comes right down to it, it is your life and your decision.

Just keep in mind that we are all here for you if you need to talk. You can PM us too if you feel it is too personal.;) No matter what you decide to do stay or go we will support you.

[andysgirl07]

I agree with Becky and Cindy. I used to be a cheater, granted none of the relationships were very serious, but I cheated on every boyfriend I ever had. Until I met Andrew (my FH) and I can honestly and happily say I have never cheated on him, or wanted to. I feel that if you really and truly love someone, you wouldn't cheat on them EVER no matter what the circumstances. And if you ever feel like you're needing to look elsewhere for any reason, you should talk to the person you're with before it starts an affair. To me, if you cheat on someone, it shows you're not happy in the relationship, so unless ya'll address the real reason he was cheating in the first place, it won't get fixed and he's likely to do it again.

[WebLady]

I agree with the other ladies here. I would at least postpone the wedding and re-evaluate your relationship. Some men don't think 'cyber' is really cheating. But the way I see it is if you wouldn't do it in front of me then you shouldn't be doing it at all!

IMO it is hard to be friends with someone you use to date anyway, especially if you were intimate with that person. I have tried and it just doesn't work. And if you are in a committed relationship with someone else, why do you really need to be friends with that person anyway? Unless they have a kid together or something.

I cheated on my ex-husband because I wasn't happy and I didn't have the 'power' to leave him at the time. But I am in a loving, committed and very fulling relationship now and I would never even think of doing anything to jeapordize what we have. I am older and wiser as well and I think that I would much rather find out that my DH didn't love me anymore rather than have him cheat on me in any way, shape or form. I agree with 'andysgirl' if you really and truly love someone you won't feel the need to look elsewhere, for anything.

So if you love him talk to him about it and see if you think you can work through it. But personally if it where me, I wouldn't marry him, at least not anytime soon.

Best wishes :hug:

~ WebLady :)