Invitations

[Shawna]

My mother will be the death of me!
Sorry, I just had to say that first before I burst! ha ha.

Does anyone know what the proper etiquette for the return address on invitations should be? I didn't think there was a problem having our address (my fiancee and I), but my Mom said since my parents and his parents are hosting the wedding, it should be one of theirs. So, which one is the question?

[bnd94]

This site says that they should be addressed to the bride's family. I think that is the "proper etiquette" but personally I am going to have all the rsvp cards sent to me. It is really up to you. Now-a-days few people go by what etiquette says. :bbwink: Sounds like your Mom wants to be traditional though. What do you want?

[Jenn060306]

I had the same discussion with my FH and my mom. My mom feels that since her and my dad are hosting they need to know the numbers for guests at the reception. I can understand that. But i would like the RSVP's addressed to me.
We came to the agreement that they would be addressed to me, but at her address. She will open them if i am not arround to. But if i am there, or she knows i am going to be coming by she's going to save them for me. Then we can open them together.
It works better for us this way in retrospect because we are going to be moving sometime over the spring. But you need to decide what works best for you. Your mom is probaly concerned about keeping track of how many people are going to be attending.
Good Luck!

[bnd94]

Your Mom is right Jen. I didn't think about the person hosting needing to know. We are hosting our own wedding. Sounds like you guys came up with a good compromise. Shawn you could still have them sent to your and just tell your Mom the count.

[WhiskeyGirl]

My hubby's family payed for the largest chunk of our wedding bill but we had the RSVPs sent to me! We did all of the planning for the wedding, all the contacting and all the confirming!! If your mother is prepared to take all that on then let her get them! However if you are doing all that and need to know the numbers then why not have them sent to you! This is 2006 and as far as etiquette goes, who really cares!! People are so seldom following these rules!! Make your own rules, the old ones are outdated!!

[ikkin510]

My parents are paying for most of the wedding although my mom isn't huge on ehlping plan it (probably cause we butted heads too much in the beginning!) My mom wants the RSVPs sent to her. I want them sent to me though so I know who all is coming. My parents live an hour and a half away. Not sure what we are going to do yet.

[LaceyinPgh]

My are return addressed to me. This is because I am the one who is handeling everything and organizing everything. My mother is hopeless when it comes to the mail anyway.

[usahgrad]

Somebody may have already said this, but the rule of thumb that I was told was that the person paying for the caterer is the one who gets the RSVPs. That way they have the count to give the caterer. Ours are coming to us because I'm doing the planning and I need to know how many to plan for. My mother was ok with that though because she said she'd loose them. I do know that this is kind of an unanswered subject though.

P.S. My mother will be the death of me too!

[rainbowtreat]

Well seeing I am doing this whole thing on my own mine are coming to me. It is not as important for me though because it is a pot luck.

[bnd94]

Are you doing rsvp cards Gwen?

I am having a buffet but I want to do the rsvp cards to make sure I have enough seating for everyone. That and I don't want to have a whole bunch of empty seats either.

[CindySue]

I dont have to do the RSVP cards. My wedding got scaled down to close/immediate family and these are people I see or talk to several times a month. Ill know if they are coming or not.

[rainbowtreat]

Are you doing rsvp cards Gwen?

I am having a buffet but I want to do the rsvp cards to make sure I have enough seating for everyone. That and I don't want to have a whole bunch of empty seats either.

I am only because I need to know how many kids will be there because I want to do treat bags for each of them with their names on them. And I want to know who is bring what for food. I threw this together last night what do you think? It is not the final draft I was just fooling around.




Please Respond by May 1st 2006.

Name___________________________
number of adults___________________
number of children__________________
plate you are bringing________________

[bnd94]

Perfect Nikki!

Have you figured out how you are going to get everyone to bring something different?

ETA: I love your treat bag idea! I may have to steal that one from ya!

[rainbowtreat]

I thought about putting somethign like this in the invites. I would do half and half with the hot and cold plates part of it.


Reception to follow ceremony at the American Legion.

Reception is a pot-luck. We are asking each guest to please bring a plate of food.
We feel this will help us make it more of a get together of family and freinds rather
then a formal event.

Please bring a hot plate ( there is a kitchen available for heating )

Pleae bring a cold plate ( salad, sandwiches,rolls, veggie platter etc. )

Please no sweets as we will have cake.

We can't thank you enough for helping us make this a great day to remember.

[bnd94]

oh I like that. Good wording.

I have seen where some people request the guest to call and get suggestions too or to tell you what they are bringing. No matter what no two people cook alike so even if you get 2 or 3 of something chances are it won't taste exactly the same.

Also sometimes they specify to make the dish for so many servings. like 10 servings or something like that. That way they don't feel like they have to make enough for an army

I really hope you don't mind my suggestions or are annoyed by them. I really think what you are doing is perfect just the way it is. ;)

[rainbowtreat]

I really hope you don't mind my suggestions or are annoyed by them. I really think what you are doing is perfect just the way it is. ;)

Not at all, i can use the help. I just threw that together as a sample. It is not the final draft. I have time to figure this out yet. I think lol.

[CindySue]

Ok...yall......all this talk about the potluck reception and how easy it sounds to pull off is making me rethink my whole cocktails and cake reception. I feel bad not having a dinner, but the wedding is at 8, the reception is gonna be about 9pm, and I think its kinda late to be eating a whole meal.

[rainbowtreat]

You can also ask you guest to bring something light. Like sandwiches and meat and veggie platers and such. I think it would be easier for you seeing your is just family. Easier to keep track of and make it work. I think you could pull it off. Throw the idea out there and see what they say.

[CindySue]

I will talk to my FMiL about it. I trust her opinion. Brian is in "work" mode today finishing the walkway and cleaning rent houses so hes pretty much useless on anything wedding related.

[WhiskeyGirl]

To me I think it would be important to let your guest know:

-Bring a main course
Or
-bring a salad (potatoe, green leaf salad, coleslaw, etc)
Or
-Bring a dessert

Every summer my Inlaws have a big BBq on their farm for all the neighbors and ourselves. They never specify what others should bring and we always end up with WAY too many desserts! So if you don't want that to happen, just ask you guest to bring a certain food. (I've seen that happen at a great many a potluck, because dessert is the easiest to make and most people think that other people will like their dessert more then anything else they may bring!) So just a heads up for y'all...kind of an FYI thing.

[rainbowtreat]

That is why i am stating No Deserts As We Will Have Cake. As for the rest i am thinking i am simple going to go with somethign close to what i put down. To bring a hot or clold plate, in one half of the invites i will ask them to bring a hot plate in the other half i will ask them to bring a cold plate. Wil examples maybe.

[CindySue]

To me I think it would be important to let your guest know:

-Bring a main course
Or
-bring a salad (potatoe, green leaf salad, coleslaw, etc)
Or
-Bring a dessert

Every summer my Inlaws have a big BBq on their farm for all the neighbors and ourselves. They never specify what others should bring and we always end up with WAY too many desserts! So if you don't want that to happen, just ask you guest to bring a certain food. (I've seen that happen at a great many a potluck, because dessert is the easiest to make and most people think that other people will like their dessert more then anything else they may bring!) So just a heads up for y'all...kind of an FYI thing.

Apparently that had been an issue with Brian's people at Thanksgiving so this past year (my 1st with them) the hosts gave each person a menu. They ASSUMED everyone would go ahead and dring a dessert too, but most people didnt dring anything other than what they were told. We almost didnt have enough desserts! Thank goodness I got carried away and brought 3!