What a piece of work

[LaceyinPgh]

I swear to God I am going to have to take up drinking. Because Jack Daniels is the only person who is going to get me through until May 27. If I can't do that then I don't think I will be able to control myself and I might start taking chairs to people! :chair: My fmil gives me her guest list for the bridal shower. First of all her guest list is twice the size of mine and my mother's combines. I don't care because she has a deal with my mother that they will each pay for their own guests and split the cost of my friends that I want to invite. First of all, I look at her list and there are like 5 people on it that live over 2 hours away. Now I know darn well they aren't going to drive that for a bridal shower for some girl that they don't know. Her reasoning....they will send a gift and not come. Well now my mother and I are mortified over that idea because it is very blatant that is what will be happening to them. In all honesty I hope that they are smart enough to not send a gift and to not come. Then I am putting the names and addresses into my master list to email to my mom and I realize that several of these people aren't on my wedding guest list. Problem here because my fils have already exceeded their allotment of guests by like 16 people. So if they think that I am adding more they are crazy. I email fmil and tell her that she has shower guests on her list that aren't wedding guests, what does she want me to do. Well I just hear back from her. She knows that they aren't on the wedding list. She doesn't want to invite them to the wedding because they are "second" cousins. But she doesn't see a problem with inviting them to the shower. They will have fun and that is what she did for her daughter's wedding. I am mortified by this. I am not a big fan of etiquette and all that because it is 99% outdated. But there are still some rules that make sense. Like don't invite people just for a gift or if you are going to invite them to one party you have to invite them to all th eparties. It isn't just etiquette, it is common civility. Why does every person in my life have to be :censored: crazy!!? I can't take it anymore. I am about ready to just have myself committed to the loony bin to get away from them all.

[LizabethDavis]

Some people will never get it :bbeek: . Just stick to your guns that they aren't coming to the wedding. Invites get lost in the mail all the time...even the ones for bridal showers.

[CindySue]

Hey Lacey...sorry your so stressed. Im not sure how you should deal with your FMiL. Maybe if you tell her NOW, that Sean is gonna change his name to yours, maybe you wont have to worry about her at all at the shower or wedding.

[LaceyinPgh]

Hey Lacey...sorry your so stressed. Im not sure how you should deal with your FMiL. Maybe if you tell her NOW, that Sean is gonna change his name to yours, maybe you wont have to worry about her at all at the shower or wedding.
I called Sean at work but am waiting for him to call me back. I want to give him the option of talking to her about this or letting me. I think if I have to do it, I will stay in email form at first, something along the lines of "I'm sorry. I know that you want to include a lot of people with the wedding. But I cannot invite some one ot the shower who isn't also invited to the wedding. Since our wedding has too many people invited to it already I think we may have to allow the second cousins to sit out."

Which I find weird to allow your guest list to be decided by numbers of generations. I mean I have 7 first cousins that I don't speak to when I see them out in public but two of my bridesmaids are my second and third cousins respectively.

[KMac]

Hi Lacey,
I am so sorry to hear this. I agree, you can't invite someone to a shower and not the wedding! That is just rude. Is your wedding list at its maxx? You should definitely have Sean talk to her. If he won't you should definitely talk to her, however maybe to this in public and have someone with you! I hope this works out for you!
KMac

[LaceyinPgh]

Hi Lacey,
I am so sorry to hear this. I agree, you can't invite someone to a shower and not the wedding! That is just rude. Is your wedding list at its maxx? You should definitely have Sean talk to her. If he won't you should definitely talk to her, however maybe to this in public and have someone with you! I hope this works out for you!
KMac
Now why would I do something silly like have witnesses around on purpose when I take her down. :bb:

[LaceyinPgh]

Sean finally called back. He said that he will set her straight on Firday when he gats back to town. What would I do without him?

[CindySue]

Probably :chair: your FMiL.

[LaceyinPgh]

Probably :chair: your FMiL.
Fair enough.

[LaceyinPgh]

Well Sean's mom called a little bit ago and I got sucked into the conversations with her. I would have rather he said something but she asked so I told her that I wasn't comfortable doing that. She said that is was my shower and I should do what I want. But I could tell she wasn't happy about it. Oh, well!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Well Sean's mom called a little bit ago and I got sucked into the conversations with her. I would have rather he said something but she asked so I told her that I wasn't comfortable doing that. She said that is was my shower and I should do what I want. But I could tell she wasn't happy about it. Oh, well!

But at least she agreed with you and thats the important part!

I am so thankful that the only inlaws I have problems with are my SILs. Grrr I could write a book!!

[usahgrad]

She is some piece of work! She kind of reminds me of someone I know...she's been banned from my wedding planning...fortunately she's not a mother, so I can do that...lol