Just wanted to share...

[SouthernQueenBride]

A girl that used to work with me called us last night while we were putting in some overtime. We put her on speaker b/c it was just us girls.

She told us that she had bought a one-way ticket to California. (She is in Georgia) to finally meet this guy that she has developed an online relationship with. (We have known about it for some time now.) She has only seen pics ... and talked on the phone. But that is it. She tells us that he is her soul mate... blah blah blah.

But - she is MARRIED and her husband has NO clue! She is planning on just up and leaving on Friday to fly out there. We asked her if she was planning on telling him in person, but she said that she was too scared and was just gonna write him this long letter and leave it for him to find. She said she already arranged for another friend to pick up her stuff and put it in storage b/c she was worried about him freaking out and trashing her stuff. Seriously that is what she said she was worried about. Once we got on her case about her priorities being in the wrong place ...she kinda backed up and started to act that she was really upset and worried about his feelings.

We have known that she was in this online relationship for a while. I do not know all the details b/c we are not as close as she is with some of the other girls in my office but it was just so UNBELIEVABLE that she was willing to pick up her whole life and MOVE across the country to be with someone that she has only talked to over the phone and computer and just throwing away her 5 year marriage. (Thank GOD they don't have kids!) Although one girl did tell me that she thought they had been having problems for a while. That he was distant, but generally a good husband. But still.... does it warrant this?

But anyways ... I have NO problem with people meeting and dating online but I do have a problem with cheating online. Ya know! I just thought this was crazy! I will keep you guys updated on the full story and what happens when they do meet for the first time and all. I am sure I will hear it thru the grapevine! LOL.

Thoughts???

[SerendipityCrafts]

Sad isn't it? You love a person presumably enough to marry him but you don't have enough guts to tell him that you don't love him any longer and that you are leaving?

Sounds to me like she is setting herself up for trouble, putting her trust in someone she has just exchanged emails and pics with! Never mind the fact that she's cheating, it's just plain crazy to get up and leave without having a plan B. What if this guy turns out to be an ax murderer?!

[septemberbride06]

WOW! that's pretty crazy soundin' to me too. My mom has been "dating" this guy in England for like 3 yrs. now, and although she isn't married and neither is he I still thik it would be wrong if he expected her to up and leave her kids (and grandkids) at 45 yrs. old (no offense to anyone) to move half way around the world to "get married" which is supossedly what he just did...they haven't even MET...granted they talk on the computer every night and on the phone ALOT that doesn't mean you know somebody!!!
I've been with Joe for almost 3 yrs. (not married, just together) and there are STILL things I don't know about him, ya know???
AHHHH now I'm rambling...sorry ladies! :hothead:

[SouthernQueenBride]

it's just plain crazy to get up and leave without having a plan B. What if this guy turns out to be an ax murderer?!

That is exactly what I said!!! But she of course defended him saying, "You just don't know him like I do ... blah blah blah"

Made me wanna puke!

[SerendipityCrafts]

That is exactly what I said!!! But she of course defended him saying, "You just don't know him like I do ... blah blah blah"

Made me wanna puke!

uh huh and Ted Bundy was a personable, attractive, and charming man too.

http://www.thebiographychannel.co.uk/images/biographies/main/400_bio_homepage_main.jpg

[firespirit]

Maybe you should have her take this quiz first....

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am not condoning infidelity in any way but you would think that most "sane" people would want to at least meet the man that they are about to dump everything for?

[firespirit]

I am not condoning infidelity in any way but you would think that most "sane" people would want to at least meet the man that they are about to dump everything for?

I imagine the guy is satisfying an emotional need for her and right now the grass looks a lot greener so she probably feels she knows him and doesn't need to meet him. Apparently if she can't even tell her husband she is leaving him there are some huge communication issues. She probably feels she's fallen in love with this other man because he listens to her and talks with her.

[KMS]

Oh man I can't believe that. That's so irrational! Hmmm I don't even know what to say with this one!

[SouthernQueenBride]

Maybe you should have her take this quiz first....

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

I got 8 out of 10!!! Hehehe! I guess I am pretty good about spotting the "Killers" lol

[SouthernQueenBride]

I am not condoning infidelity in any way but you would think that most "sane" people would want to at least meet the man that they are about to dump everything for?

That is what one girl asked her. She said, "Ok ... going out there to meet him FINE. But why the one way ticket??? What is the rush to just pack up and move." Of course she had an answer for that - I already know him. I know it's not the norm but I just know it is right" Something like that *Gag*

This girl always came across a immature to me and was kinda a ding bat in my opinion. I just feel for her husband ... even if he was kinda distant or whatever... he is gonna have a big schock when he gets home on Friday.

[SerendipityCrafts]

That is what one girl asked her. She said, "Ok ... going out there to meet him FINE. But why the one way ticket??? What is the rush to just pack up and move." Of course she had an answer for that - I already know him. I know it's not the norm but I just know it is right" Something like that *Gag*

This girl always came across a immature to me and was kinda a ding bat in my opinion. I just feel for her husband ... even if he was kinda distant or whatever... he is gonna have a big schock when he gets home on Friday.

I am gagging too LOL

Of course this guy is meeting some emotional need but she isn't even giving her husband a chance, to meet those same needs. Perhaps in some twisted way, her husband will be better off without the ding bat.

I don't suppose she's told her family about this either huh?

[SerendipityCrafts]

I got 7/10 LOL

[rainbowtreat]

I got 8/10

[ger]

I got 4/10???? It says "not bad but it might be best to avoid a career in either law enforcement or I.T recruitment". Do you suppose?!?!?!? LOL

[Panthers Bride]

8/10

i'm all for online dating...but to throw away her whole life. Doesn't she know that people lie online?

[Measha]

Ok, hate to point out what to me is the obvious, but before I state the rest of my opinion just have to address this bit and all the others like it -

...they haven't even MET...granted they talk on the computer every night and on the phone ALOT that doesn't mean you know somebody!!!

You can NEVER be sure you absolutely "know" somebody. You know what they choose to show you. Even face to face people often lie. And if they are going to do so, and hide their true selves, it's not always behind the screen of a computer.

Plenty of charming psychopaths were known by their neighbors in person :p. And plenty of scam artists meet women face to face and gain their trust.

Ok, mini-rant done. Sorry *chuckle* I just have a voice like my mother's in the back of my head, when I first met my FH "None of your friends know who he is he could be an axe murderer."

Now, all that included, no it doesn't make her choice the right one. If she was single, maybe. But I still wouldn't understand the one way trip. Things always have a chance of not working out. There is no hand-stamped guarantee on a new relationship.

And her poor husband, no matter how "distant", deserves some kind of explanation! I absolutely hate when people do that :( FH's Uncle was in a similar situation. Woke up one day with no warning to find a note on his pillow saying she was done with it all.

I would just think you'd have more consideration for someone you Loved (if you feel you no longer love them) and spent so much time with, was such a big part of your life.

Maybe she really hasn't grown up. I know the type, sadly.

[EarlyBird]

I dont know if she met him just online or in an online dating community but either way, sometimes its easy to be someone else online and on the phone- i mean- to just pack up and move--- ugh!!!!

Most people meet for the first time in a coffee shop - this girl moves in!!!
interesting spin on that!!

[EarlyBird]

i have taken that before - dont remember what i got- this time i got a 6/10

[bichonlvr]

Holy Cr*P....who is this chick!!! She better tell someone all of the details about where she is going, etc.!!!

Oh and I got 8 out of 10!!! It is all in their hair :)

[Measha]

6 / 10

I should have guessed "Seriel Killer" on that old school black and white. What kind of programming would they have needed back then!

I put waaay too much reasoning into these things, haha.

[Nekochanpurr]

Wow.. That girl is nuts, lol. You NEVER know about people online.. and you NEVER go by yourself! Her husband might not have to worry about a note, he might be getting her body.. o.o;;
Actually, something like this actually happened with my dad and mom. Dad decided 'hey, we are divorcing!' the right after the papers were finished, he married a woman he brought over from England! Ugh.. And he had only met her on the internet before, too..

[Danielle9608]

Well I met my FH online, so personally I do not have a problem with meeting people from online. But 1. You must be carefull becuase you never know who you are meeting. Always meet in public places. 2. I DO NOT approve of the cheating! She must be crazy to throw away 5 years of marriage like that. And her concern is her possessions, not her husbands feelings? Even if they were having problems, you just don't do that. She sounds cold. But that JMO.

[SouthernQueenBride]

Danielle & Measha - I 100% agree with what you say about it being ok to meet people online. I have a few friends who have met some really great guys via the web. I guess I should have clarified that better!:geek:
I am not sure if she meet him in a chat room or an online dating site - I will find out when one of my co workers gets in today! She is closer to this girl and knows all the details!

[ikkin510]

WOW. Now I met my DH also through another guy I met online. BUT, I'm sorry, I would never just move in with a guy I met online. You hear all these stories about people pretending to be other people. Lying about age, life style, looks, etc. Even if this guy was honest about this stuff, who is to say he isn't going to turn into an abuser or something like that once he has her there. IDK, just doesn't seem like a very smart idea to me!

[Measha]

Lauren, I guess my point was just. This wouldn't be a good situation even if she'd met this guy another way, barely knew him, and had gotten a one way ticket and/or moved in with him.

More details for us gossip mongers, oh yes *chuckle*

[SouthernQueenBride]

More details for us gossip mongers, oh yes *chuckle*

I will get more of the scoop later on today... but suposedly, he came home early and found her packing yesterday, and was like, "Where are you going? Business Trip or something?" and she LIED and chickend out and told him, "Yeah - business trip!"
Gahhhh! What a moron! I just feel for this guy.

[ikkin510]

I will get more of the scoop later on today... but suposedly, he came home early and found her packing yesterday, and was like, "Where are you going? Business Trip or something?" and she LIED and chickend out and told him, "Yeah - business trip!"
Gahhhh! What a moron! I just feel for this guy.


You've got to me kidding, she lied about why she was packing. It's bad enough to cheat on the guy, at least have the guts to tell him face to face when you get the chance!

[SerendipityCrafts]

Are you friends with this guy at all?

If it was someone I didn't know, I would stay out of it but if it was someone I knew I think I might say something. I would hate it if they were to come back to me after and say "You knew, and didn't say anything?"

You say that she has arranged to have her friend come by and get her stuff. Who is to say that she has instructed her friend to take only what is hers? What gives her the right to decide what is hers and what is not?

[SouthernQueenBride]

No, I am not friends with him. I have never even met him and I have only seen one picture of him before....

I am not even that close to the girl who is doing this!!! She used to work with us and I am just part of the office gossip line!! :notsure:


Good Point Elizabeth:
You say that she has arranged to have her friend come by and get her stuff. Who is to say that she has instructed her friend to take only what is hers? What gives her the right to decide what is hers and what is not?
I wish I knew!!

[bichonlvr]

Oh man!!!! She needs to grow up and face the music!!!

But I can't wait to hear how it pans out!

[val24]

WOW

like the others i cant wait to hear how it all turns out

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am not even that close to the girl who is doing this!!! She used to work with us and I am just part of the office gossip line!! :notsure:

Interesting .... that she would tell coworkers, to whom she's not even close to, of her plans to "run away" .... but she won't tell hubby. Before the internet, this lady might have run off to join the circus. LOL

I do hope that you hear of the "after" story because you have us all wanting to read the next chapter :)

[Deanna2112001]

This is weird that you are talking about this... Last week I called my MOH. It had been 2 weeks since I spoke to her. I have been busy and I know she is a MOH in another wedding here in Nov.

I ask her whats wrong and she told me Jeremy had a friend who's wife left him for another guy. They were trying to console him and whatnot. Jeremey had dinner with him on a wed. They got a phone call on Thursday Morning. This dude killed his wife, and then killed himself!!!!!!!!!

I was like holly **** My MOH is all upset. She has to keep it together for the other girl for her wedding. Plus help her husband greive the loss of his friend. And what makes it worse. Jeremey had stated in a conversation with the guy who killed his wife and himself. As they were drinking and bs- ing. That he would kill Krissy ( my MOH) if she ever did anything like that to him.

It was a freaking figure of speach!!!!!!!!

Note to self.... watch what I say in front of people. Cause you never know man... You never FN know.

The chick thats leaving her husband.. lmao..Sorry.. but she will more than likely find out that this is a huge misstake. I mean what if she gets down there.. and everything is kosher.. except the fact that he walks funny and makes these weird faces because he cant help it.

[Nekochanpurr]

Thats so scary Deanna! I hope everything works out for your friends. O-O** Your right, you really have to watch what you say.. But i honestly don't think it was what was said. Things make people crazy, if he was going to do it, he probably knew before they went out to eat..

[SouthernQueenBride]

OMG Deanna! That is just crazy! What a scary thing for your friend to have gone thru!

Welllll... all weekend long I was antsy to get on the computer so I could update yall! It gets good!!!

Ok, so a few of her closer friends and one of her friends from my office thru an "intervention" sort of during their lunch break on Friday. So they went and told her to think about what she was doing and to not leave etc, etc, etc ... and she got upset and mad and said she felt that no one supported her and that no one really loved her or cared for her b/c if they did they would trust her ... you know all that kind of stuff.
Well.... one of the girls (not sure which one) ended up calling her parents and told them EVERYTHING! They ended up making her stay so she never even got on the the plane. What I don't know is if she got to talk to the guy in Cali and let him know that she was not coming. B/c I found out that HE was the one that bought the ticket - not her. And that he was the one really pushing her to fly out there. I think that the husband knows now ... but I have not heard anymore about it. Hopefully the girl will call her friend up here at my office and I will have more to update you on.

And the saga continues ....

[erika85]

Wow! I Am Glad To Hear She Did Not Get On The Plane! Keep Us Updated

[SerendipityCrafts]

I am glad that her friend spilled the beans. Of course the couple might go on to get a divorce now and she might still end up with California guy but at least it's all out on the table.

The truth shall set you free as they say.

[Nekochanpurr]

Scary! I wonder if the guy in Calfi is really that nice if he is pushing her to go.. I'm scared what he would have done to her once she got there! Maybe thats just me being parinod, though..

[SouthernQueenBride]

Well now the girl is staying at her parents house and she was able to call the guy in California and he was "very understanding" from what she told us. So, now HE is flying down here to be with her (not one way though) to meet her family and her friends. Her husband NOW knows everything but does NOT know that the boyfriend is flying down here. We tried to call her on her cell phone yesterday afternoon to find out what was all going on and she answered and then hung up on us. She eventually came up to our office after work and filled us all in. She said that her husband has "gone crazy" and he has transferred all her phone calls to HIS phone. And she told us how she went out to dinner with her parents on the weekend and she thought she saw his car in the parking lot but she brushed it off ... so then she went inside and had dinner, came back out to get in her car and tried to start it and it would not start so then her dad made her pop her hood and he noticed that her spark plugs were missing! Someone had taken them off. They figured out that her husband must have been following her and then took off her spark plugs so she could not leave. Just gets weireder and weirder!!!

More details to come as soon as I know....

"These are the days of our lives...."

[Danielle9608]

Wow. All I can say is wow. This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. It sounds like something for Jerry Springer. LOL

[SouthernQueenBride]

Wow. All I can say is wow. This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. It sounds like something for Jerry Springer. LOL

LOL - That is EXACTLY what one girl told her yesterday and she laughed. I really think she is just one of those girls who LOVES the drama and the attention it brings. I mean, if I was her I would be so embarrassased but she does not seem to be at all!

[SerendipityCrafts]

It's rather like slowing down at an accident scene .... you really don't want to look/know but you can't help yourself!

[JennaCanada]

It's rather like slowing down at an accident scene .... you really don't want to look/know but you can't help yourself!

This is so true! I just read the whole post and all I can say is "wow".....

[ikkin510]

Wow is right. And it's just like a soap-opera. I'm getting all wrapped up in the story now!

[firespirit]

How exactly does this guy fro CA think this meeting with her parents is going to go?