Um... A few little (frustrating) things!

[mandabear04]

Okie doke... Here are some things that are a bit non TRADITIONAL about our wedding plans that we are trying to figure out... I wanted to hear if this is ok ... or if I am crazy...

Here go...
1. Um my family is irish catholic... they are also ALCOHOLICS! It seems my entire life we can not have an event without someone getting drunk and doing something stupid and I do NOT want my wedding to be that way... BUT... at the same time the Best Man is a NAVY and he ... i dont want to say has to... but he has to drink to get that stare out... and to enjoy himself. He doesnt get beligerant or rude he just is more enjoyable when he s had a drink or 2... PLUS i will have just turned 21 and my FH will be 24 (almost 25) and all of the BP are around our ages... and at our ages its kind of fun to have some alcohol... SO!!! I don t know what to do ... I want to not have a bar but I want it to be fun and i don twant people to leave the reception just cause they can t drink! ALSO the place we re looking at has a bar ... and we have to supply the alcohol and pay 25 per hr for a bartender to serve our own alcohol... so i mean that sounds crappy too... ANY INSIGHT??



2. I was thinking it would be kind of cool for FH and me to buy about 3 gifts for each of our BP that are all similar... ex getting the girls those compacs ... well then I was thinking it would kind of be fun to get them each something really individualistic that represents our personal relationship with each of them and since our families have never met ... taking some time out of the reception to present the gifts to our BP and explain the significants so our families kind of understand why they are up there with us... IS that a bad idea? Will it over shadow the Best Man and MH speech? or is it ok to do that??

Lemmie know



3. (Sigh) I found the place of my dreams... and it runs for 5800 plus paying 30 per hr for a off duty cop and 825 returnable (But cashed) damage deposit... It is in the "mid range" on the knot... and it gives us free decorations (Candles centerpeices flowers on the alter... etc) and 25 dollars off of each guest's stay at our hotel and (With that) FH and I get free rooms the entire weekend in the jacoozy suite at the hotel... (wow rightq) so is it overpriced like my mom thinks that it is... or is she basing her thoughts on ancient times and ancient prices?

VISIT the site we re looking at:
www.theloretto.com

and is it crazy or not?

I thought of something else but i forgot it :) ... Let me know what you think because these are kindof things I really really think are good ideas but i keep getting told (By my mom) that they re not ... so I don t know if i am crazy and just have too many ambitions or if she is just living in the past and doesnt understand that things have changed when it comes to weddings?

Let me know pls!!!

MAnda

[mandabear04]

I thought of what it was that I was forgetting... Since we are having a fall wedding I was thinking that it would be kind of cool if we could have the flowergirls throw (silk) fall leaves preceeding me so that it has an original feel and it would look really pretty with the colors i think... is that crazy ??

[StJohnBride]

Lots of thoughts here.

Regarding the FG throwing leaves -- I think that'd be very cute.

Regarding the bar -- would you consider giving each guest a number of "drink tickets" so no one gets too much booze? OR ask the bartender to cut people off. That's part of their job. You can ask that they cut off specific people sooner than others. And if they get mad they can't have more booze and leave, be glad they'll make a scene elsewhere. I can't imagine you'd want guests who are only there for the free drinks. (It's also a liability for the bartender and your reception site to not let people have too much. Though your supplying your own alcohol and bartender might be the site's way of putting liability onto you.) What about buying less alcohol, or serving only beer, wine, and champagne? No one says you need a fully-stocked bar that's never-ending.

Regarding the idea to give the BP gifts the night of the RD and different gifts, I think that would be nice and thoughtful.

Regarding your site -- you and FH will have to decide if that's worth it to you. How much were you budgeting for centerpieces and everything else that comes with this location? Sometimes it's a better deal, other times you spend a lot more because the centerpieces, cake, etc. aren't up to par and you end up having to get them yourself anyway.

[Smashingpennies]

We went to a wedding recently where the couple did not drink, but family members did, so they only bought enough for the dinner and a toast or two. The rest of the time they had water and punch. No one seemed to mind that there was only a small amount of alcohol there. We do not drink and we did not have alcohol there at all and the one or two guest they tried to bring their own we asked them to leave it in the car. They did and only the wives got upset about it. Remember this is your day and YOU and your FH; should care about what happens, Yes! you do need to make sure you take everyones thoughts in to account, but it is all about you and your husband.

The $5,800 does seem sort of high to me, I am sure if you keep looking you can find the right place with out it costing so much. Granted I got married almost 10 years ago, but we spent $2-3,000 on the whole wedding, from my dress to the reception.

I like the idea of giving the bridal party gifts; I can't remember if we gave anything or not.

The idea of the silk petals is nice

[StJohnBride]

I don't think $5800 sounds high to me at all -- when we were thinking about a more traditional ceremony/reception at home (Chicago), it would have been $120 per person for food, excluding champagne and cake. So 100 people would have been... a lot. lol

[soontobemrs]

I also don't think $5800 is a lot. Compared to the first hall we looked at, that's a deal - the first hall we looked at would run us $11,000 and that doesn't include the alcohol (needless to say, we are not going with that hall).

[Nekochanpurr]

I think $5800 is a bit much. Have you shopped around a little, hun? I'm not saying don't get it.. But you might find something just as nice for a better price. Remember, what you can save you can spend on stuff that'll be more important after your married (like bills) or even your honeymoon. :)
And the silk leaves.. SO CUTE!! =D i LOVE this idea!

[hummingbird521]

Love the idea of the silk leaves for the flower girls to use. That would be very pretty.

As for the drinking, I also like the idea of giving out drink tickets. However you might need to make sure they cannot pay for their own after that. lol.

[EarlyBird]

Okay well about the flower girl, As long as your ceremony site allows things to be thrown (some dont even allow silk petals) then go for it!! sounds nice.

Also, i dont think that that price is too much (your food is included right??) honestly, i wish i could find something here for that price. however, it just depends on YOUR budget and where YOU live. this might be high for some places- just not where i live :) Unfortantley everything here is about 11,000 - 14,000 just for food and venue.
Also - the drink thing- 25 hr for them to serve your bar is cheap is your looking to buy your own booze. but see if you cant neogiate with them and ask them to just charge 50 bucks outright and thats it. That should save you about 50bucks - 75bucks for the other couple hours.

Also, i agree that it is the bartender's job to cut people off but maybe you could have friend designated (a 'maid) to spot the people that are getting a little rowdy and have them tell the bartender that they need to stop serving them. Also you could end the bar an hour before the reception so people have time to just relax before leaving and driving. Honestly, like you, I dont want to not serve alcohol for the people that know how to enjoy it responsibily, I wouldnt suggest tickets only b/c thats still limiting the people that do the right thing. Also, you have to think that usually with the ticket system,there is an open CASH bar after- if the people drink that much, they will buy their own drinks and this will all be in vain. Maybe you could discuss with your venue what they do about people they see getting a little drunk and things like that good luck!!! keep us updated.

[septemberbride06]

I think the "tickets" for drinks is a good idea, in regard to the flowers I thik that is very unique and would be a cool idea....as for the hotel price I think that is a VERY good deal!!
as long as it includes most everything you'll need to complete your wedding ceremony and reception...plus, the scenery looks gorgeous!!
I think whatever makes oyu happy is what you should do...but, I would advise that you maybe look around a bit more..there are a TON of beautiful venues and you may find a better deal somewhere..that is one thing I wis wish me and Joe would have done is looked around...we were in a bit of a hurry to plan so we didn;t get that chance...I mean our wedding was perfect 9as far as I'm concerned but I wish we would have looked around :)

[Caleb's Bride]

As others mentioned, make sure that where you will have your ceremony will allow the flower girl to toss leaves or petals first. Our church allowed it and we did exactly what you are planning - I got some silk leaves and that's what the flower girl used. For a fall wedding, it was absolutely perfect. I just didn't like the idea of "flowers", so to speak, being that's more spring/summer to me. It's all about preference, but of course, I think the idea is a fantastic one! LOL!

If the food is included in the price, at least around here, that's phenomenal. But if you feel that it's not in your price range or a little high for your area, it never would hurt to check out other options. We shopped around for several months before we decided exactly where everything would be taking place. But if you absolutely love it and it's in your budget, go for it.

Bartenders that are associated with the venue or catering companies generally know when to cut people off, particularly if they get loud and rowdy. They have to be careful, just like at bars, because they could lose their licenses. But like EarlyBird suggested, you could have someone designated to kind of "keep an eye out" and make sure no one is getting out of control.

Good luck to you! Can't wait to hear more ideas!