My Dad and Friday wedding doesn't mix

[Soon to be Mrs. Wodnick]

So, Dan and I have had to change our wedding date because every facility we have been looking at has our original date booked (which works out in the end anyway...so we're happy) and so we changed it to Sept. 12, 2008 (which will be our 7th dating anniversary!!!). Well, that happens to land on a Friday next year.

When I told my dad, he was like "Oh. Well, with Friday weddings, just don't have it at 4:30 pm (of course this is the time that we are looking at!). Then people have to start taking time off and take kids out of school early. The earliest you should have it is at 6:00 pm."

6:00 pm?!?!? Are you kidding?!?! Then people don't eat until 8 or 9 pmm the dance doesn't start until 9 or 10 and then people are expected to leave at midnight?! I don't think that will really work.

Now, my parents have been pretty good, there have really only been a couple of "discrepencies". I know that they are just trying to give their opinion, but the way that they present themselves is so frustrating!:urgh: I think part of their issue is that when they were planning my brother's and my older sister's weddings, they had more control and input than with mine. Not that I don't value their opinions, but I have a lot of ideas because I have really been planning this day for years now! (and what girl hasn't been planning her wedding for ages :happy: )

I guess, my major question...do you think that 4:30 pm for a Friday wedding is too unreasonable to ask? There are many 4:30 pm weddings on Fridays that I've been to this year and I don't think it's too much to ask. And how do I deal with my parents...they just think that their opinions are always right!

(side note: my parents also thought that paying for kegs of beer isn't necessary. We know that it's not...but it's just something that we would like to do for our guests and we will be paying for 99% of this wedding. They think that if we want to do a keg...it should be a keg of root beer so parents don't have to worry about paying for their kids to drink. And you don't want to alienate non beer drinkers...blah, blah, blah! If they would have listened to me...they would have heard that we want to supply beer, wine and pop. So annoying sometimes!)

[keri_rae]

Just me, personally - I think a 4:30 wedding is a little bit of an inconvenience. I suppose it depends on how big your wedding is, and who all you're asking to come. If it's a small wedding with just close friends and family, then why not?! But if it's a larger affair I tend to agree with your dad - maybe 5:30? This day is absolutely about You and your FH but I think it's wise to consider the people you're inviting and their schedules, also.

I'm having a 6pm wedding but we plan for dinner to start by 7:30 . . . We're having a short ceremony though, and doing many pictures before hand to facilitate the time.

[samantha01]

I agree. If you have a Friday wedding at 4:30 your attendance isn't going to be very high. Is the only reason your not doing it on Sat is because of you anniv.?
I would think 6:30 at the earliest.
I think whatever you decide you should just put in stone and don't even ask opinions.

[exoduslaughin]

I agree with Keri, if it's a small wedding then it's not such a big deal for family and close friends to leave work early. But if you are having alot of guests, then I would see if you can start a bit later. Keep in mind that most people would want to go home first (not go straight from work). So by starting at 4:30, think of what time they might need to leave work. I attended a wedding in April that was early on a Friday, it basically came down to me taking the day off work to attend the wedding.

[firespirit]

One way to get people eating earlier with a late wedding is to take most (if not all) the pictures before the ceremony.

[SouthernQueenBride]

I am getting married at 6:30pm on a Saturday so I guess the time does not really matter. But if I were you - and holding a wedding on a Friday - I would set the time no earlier than 5:30!
Depending on how many guests you have and were they are coming from - I would do it as late as possible just b/c you don't want to inconvenience anyone.

How many are you planning on inviting? Oh - and that is cool about your wedding falling on your 7th anniv.

[PGDesigns]

I think it may be a little too early, depending on what kind of travel time your guests are faced with. We are aiming for a Saturday wedding, but even then, we are having it late enough where our guests from out of town can make it. Not all of them can get Fridays off, and they are coming from 2-4 hours away. We are also taking the majority of our photos beforehand.

Most ceremonies I have been to have been short, and in most cases, close to 30 minutes. How long of a ceremony are you looking at?

[erika85]

I agree it would be a inconvenience to many people since most people don't get off work until at least 5. As long as you state in your invite that you are serving dinner, most will just have a snack and wait to eat dinner late at the reception. I would say to wait until at least 6 or even 6:30 for the ceremony. Dinner at 7:45 or 8pm is not really that bad. I recently went to a wedding at 4pm and we had to wait until 7:30 to eat!

[bichonlvr]

I agree with everyone...Friday at 4:30 will be bad for most people you want to attend! Why not compromise and say 6 then people can eat by 7:30! That or take pics before hand OR...take pics after eveyone has eatten and you have done everything and people are having fun and dancing!

Good luck!

[EarlyBird]

Yah i dont mean to disrespect but i think 430 is a lil bit too much- most people wont mind getting home at midnight on a friday- they would mind it less then a 430 wedding. but if your happy with it then thats awesome and you should do it your way

[EarlyBird]

my wedding will be on a saturday night and the ceremony wont start till 630- ending at 715 with cocktail hour 730-830 and dinner at 930 :) thats honestly okay with most of my guests- so dont worry about timing being too late- usually its a problem when its too early

just to remind you 430 means all bm and gm need to take off work, anyone who wants to take their time getting dressed would need 2 or 3 hours and getting a babysitter at 430 for some parents might be hard cuz their babysitters (their moms or sisters that work) might work till 5pm or 6pm and they would need to have the babysitter there at around 330 to get to your ceremony on time.

just stuff to think about

[Joe's girl]

I am having a friday night wedding the ceremomy is at 6. 4:30 is way too early just because people do have to work and get their kids and stuff.

[BrideMissy]

I'm going against the grain here and say that time is fine. I'm having a Friday wedding and our ceremony is at 3.30pm. We have given our guests over 12months of warning. We have a lot of guests coming from different states and most are taking a few days off work to attend. Everyone is happy with the decision. We've only had one problem - 2 of my aunties own a post office and as it's end of financial year that weekend, they say it's impossible to attend (I have offered a solution - but they're not interested). 2 guests out of 92 isn't that bad I think.
Give them plenty of warning and be prepared that some guests just might not be able to get the time off work, but if people really want to attend then they will make it happen.
My Mother was not impressed either that we had chosen a Friday wedding, but when we explained that we would rather have it on a Friday, have an "afterparty" on the Saturday, then everyone can go home on the Sunday - she relented and agreed it was a good idea.
Good luck hun.

[jessica.coon]

My Fiance & I are getting married on the same day and same time!! And I had the same conversation with my Dad! LOL!! My fiance and I both wanted a small wedding, but my parents are paying for 99% of it and got control over the guest list. So we intentionally planned our wedding on a Friday afternoon- praying for a smaller turn out. I guess just understand if people can't make it. Those that want to be there will show up.

We are thinking of putting on our invite or RSVP- Due to the timing of the event we understand not everyone will be able to attend the ceremony. Please let us know if you plan to attend the reception only. We look forward to celebrating with you.

Good luck!!