Need to get Something off my Chest!!

[KMac]

Hi Ladies,
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!! I first need to get this of my chest and vent a little! And second, I need some advice form you guys!
My brother is getting married this August. The wedding party consists of 8 people plus bride and groom. My brother and his fiance have made it known that they are not inviting children to the wedding/reception. I have a 2 1/2 yr. old daughter who is my brother's (only niece and god-daughter). I am a little upset at the fact that they haven't acknowledged her to be a part of the "special day". My fiance and I are both standing in the wedding. My question is, Do I say anything to them, or just have her dress made and have her walk in with my parents? I do understand that they do not want children at the reception, however like I stated before, that is my brother's only niece (and may be the only one from me) and his god-daughter. It's probably not worth fussing over, it just bothers me! Thanks for letting me vent! :bbcry:
KMac

[LaceyinPgh]

I'm not having any children at my wedding either. I just don't want them there. There are children in both of our lives but I flat out do not want any of them at my wedding or reception. If your brother and his fiance made the decision and gave you ample time to find a sitter for the evening than you have to honor it. If you are that upset about it and feel like he is slighting your family than you and your husband need to back out of the bridal party while giving them enough time to replace you so that you can stay at home with your daughter.

I know that I would be furious if someone went against MY wishes on MY wedding day. How would you feel if you had an issue that you felt strongly about and your brother just went around your back and did it anyway? You would be very upset. Something this trivial isn't worth starting a whole lot of family drama over. You honor their wishes while keeping your opinions to yourself. This isn't your wedding and you don't get to make the decisions for it.

[Tiggerprincess]

Hi Ladies,
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!! I first need to get this of my chest and vent a little! And second, I need some advice form you guys!
My brother is getting married this August. The wedding party consists of 8 people plus bride and groom. My brother and his fiance have made it known that they are not inviting children to the wedding/reception. I have a 2 1/2 yr. old daughter who is my brother's (only niece and god-daughter). I am a little upset at the fact that they haven't acknowledged her to be a part of the "special day". My fiance and I are both standing in the wedding. My question is, Do I say anything to them, or just have her dress made and have her walk in with my parents? I do understand that they do not want children at the reception, however like I stated before, that is my brother's only niece (and may be the only one from me) and his god-daughter. It's probably not worth fussing over, it just bothers me! Thanks for letting me vent! :bbcry:
KMac
I can understand their point and yours..I think it is a little rediculous that they dont want her or any kids at the wedding..Dont be upset too much he is your brother..As for havin a dress made for her, yes go ahead,,it is YOUR daughter..you have a right to let her go..it is not like she ia a babyand will cry and ruin everything..It'll be fine

[CindySue]

Being a mother, I understand both sides of this issue. I know sometimes children are not allowed at certain events. If I cant find a sitter, I stay home. I do not go against the wishes of whoever is hosting what and bring my kids. Thats disrespectful, and Im not going to do that to friends or family. Sometimes, these no-kids allowed events are the only kid free breaks I can get! (I have 4!)

[Tiggerprincess]

Being a mother, I understand both sides of this issue. I know sometimes children are not allowed at certain events. If I cant find a sitter, I stay home. I do not go against the wishes of whoever is hosting what and bring my kids. Thats disrespectful, and Im not going to do that to friends or family. Sometimes, these no-kids allowed events are the only kid free breaks I can get! (I have 4!)
Good point...I just dont think it would be that much of a problem..If she is not too rambuncious, i really feel as if she should be able to go..My advice to you is ask you brother about it..Explain how you feel and ask if you can bring her to the wedding and not the reception..Maybe you guys can strike a comprimise..

[bnd94]

I can see both sides of this issue too. I can totally understand how you would be upset. I probably would be too. But it is your brothers day and he has made his decision and you should honor it. I don't see any reason though not to say something to him to let him know how hurt you are. Not meanly or anything just ask him why. He may have a good reason and once you know it you may feel better about it too. Just think how you would feel if you wanted your wedding a certain way and someone knowingly did something to make it different. I think it would cause some problems if your daughter just shows up with your parents without you telling your brother she is coming. Just MHO. :goodluck:

[CindySue]

Well see the thing is I bet they DO have friends and/or family members that have rowdy kids and would rather THOSE kids not be there. And instead of taking the risk of hurting those friends and/or family members feelings (or worse-cause a family fued), they made it NO KIDS at all. That way it doesnt look like only one or two sets of kids have been excluded.
I understand where KMac is coming from, with this being her brother and all, but have you sat down and talked to him about it? It might help you understand where he is coming from.

[bnd94]

I should tell you all what happened at my brother's wedding. They didn't want kids to go either. And they left it up to word of mouth for the info to get to the guests. The info got out but it really made alot of our family upset and they ended up not coming at all. But my brother's wifes sister came and brought all 4 of her kids(all under 10 years old). That really :censored: pissed off the people who had kids and didn't bring them and the ones that weren't able to come because of the no kids thing. I can't say I blame them I was a little :censored: about it myself and I don't even have kids.

I see a wedding as a family event and that includes kids to me. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. You could always hire a babysitter to keep them busy. Set up a special area where they can play.

I know it is your day and you should do what ever you want!

[KMac]

Hi Ladies,
Thanks for your opinions and advice. I respect and appreciate it greatly. I agree with you all on many different aspects. My brother has stated that he knows my daughter will be at the church at that will be fine with him. I think they are more soo concerned about the reception, however, I love my daughter dearly but I DO NOT want her at the reception either, or I will have to leave at 9pm!!!! We HAVE made arrangements for her to have a sitter that night. As for her walking in with my parents, they are probably the only ones that she will go with. Just understand that I would NEVER do anything to piss off the family and for that matter, my bro and hi FW.
Thanks for your advice and opinions!

[bnd94]

I am glad you were able to work it out. I thought you wanted her to go to the reception and wouldn't take no for an answer. :D

[LizabethDavis]

I am glad that all worked out for you as I was going to state:

If they said no kids, then you must honor it!! Believe me, you would be surprised by how much I will be saving by putting into place my "Adults Only" policy. If they don't come, they don't come. Sorry, but it won't hurt my feelings any. No one on my side of the family has very young children and therefore the only ones we have to worry about are on his side. After discussing it last night, the ones with young children are the ones that he could care less if they show up.

In any event, this worked out for you and for that, I am happy for you!

[WebLady]

This is sort of a touchy subject to some. I can see both view points but personally I didn't want kids at my wedding or reception either. We have lots of friends with kids and some of them didn't come and that is fine, they weren't mad. I only have one child in our family I love my neice but there was just not anything for her to do and my sister understood. But we didn't have a traditional ceremony/reception anyway.

But I think regarless of what you think, it is there wedding so you have to respect their wishes for what they want. I am sure they love the kids.

As a photographer I have seen and heard kids whine and cry during the ceremony ... once at a wedding the brides daughter (about 2'ish) kept wanting attention during the wedding and crawled under the brides dress. I have seen kids running around and getting in the way at the reception. I always ask myself 'Where is their mom and why aren't they watching their kid"

~ WebLady :)

[rainbowtreat]

I understand where every one is coming from as well. As fo rme I love kids. I worked in day care for years before I had my own. so when I got marreid to my first husband inviting the parents of the kids I took care of and not the kids was not an option. If it was not for the kdis I would not even knwo the parents. This time I have kids and my sister has 2 kids and my FH has a cousin that is only 2. And not to mention the friends I have all have kids. Most of them all under 6. They will not all be there but I am not saying they can't come. They wont bother me any. And after the formal things are all over all the kdis will be with a sitter or 2 at my sisters place. I am glad you got thigns worked out.

[WebLady]

... And after the formal things are all over all the kdis will be with a sitter or 2 at my sisters place. I am glad you got thigns worked out.

I think this is a great idea ... if you are going to have kids there make a plan for them to be entertained too.

Best wishes,

~ WebLady :)